Gender disappointment

[Oceanbaby]

Many of us ladies dream of having a particular gender preference for various reasons. Mine was family expectations. I did have a cry when I found out the result at my 19 weeks ultrasound. I am now happy and grateful by talking it out with my husband. If you have similar experience, please share your story.

[BubbaLicious]

I haven't had any gender disappointment as of yet!
With my first I wasn't at all concerned with what I was having so long as it was a healthy bub, It honestly never really crossed my mind to have a preference.
When I found out with my second I changed my mind every two second as to what I wanted (still a healthy bub of course) If I had a boy my first would have a playmate of the same gender, less clothes/stuff to buy e.t.c. If we had a girl then I'd get to experience something different.
With both of my pregnancies we didn't find out untill they were born and I'm over the moon.
Now that I do have 2 beautiful boys I find myself really, really wanting a little girl.
We are not looking at ttc yet but it's constantly in my thoughts. I am worried that I'll be very disappointed if I have a 3rd boy.
We will find out at the 19week U/S what the sex of the baby is so I can deal with my emotions before bubba arrives.
I feel bad that I will be disappointed when so many people are struggling to have a babay at all, but I can't help it!
I'm trying to put my mind in a frame already that I will be a mum of 3 boys and if by chance I do get a little girl then that is a big bonus!
Sorry it's so long but it fells good to get it out! Thanks :yes:

[melbryan]

I cried as well so you're not alone at all.
I think you have to look at the positives even though there didn't seem to be many.
I think all children are different whether they are a boy or girl. I just didn't want a difficult child like my last I think.
I am giving birth in 3 days to another boy but when I found out I cried to DH and he said if you really want a girl give it some time and we can give it one more shot. That made me feel alot better. I gave my reasons to him and he didn't seem to argue with them. I know there is a possibility of another boy but he will still be wanted. I will always love all my children equally.:hugs:

[Mum&bubs]

I was disappointed at having another girl at FIRST but i sort of hyped up about it before i went in for the ultrasound. Like i just kept telling myself yep this is another girl...dont get excited for a boy so when the lady said 'another girl' i expected it but i was still a bit let down as there was some thought in the back of my mind 'could it be a boy'. But yeah i got over it within an hour and was just grateful for my baby being healthy and then i got my head around to dressing up two little girls & two sisters that could share everything :smiliedance:

[sugar n spice]

With my first it didnt really matter but with my second the pressure was on to have a girl for each side of the family but i had a boy and when i found out i was sad and cried but i got used to it now im on to my 3rd im desperate for a girl though i have told myself i think its a boy that said though i have only picked out girl names. i am bound to be sad when i find out if it is a boy so dh has decided that we should find out at the u/s as i suffer from pnd with my other two i would hate to be depressed after its born because its a boy id rather have the time to get used to the idea of another boy if that happens to be. that said i would love a surprsise but i usually cave in:laughing:

[jessgray]

i am happy that i #2 is going to be boy i dunno why lol DP wanted a girl so we could have one of each but i have had time to think about the possibility of never having a girl and i am ok with it :) i will just be a mum to a bunch of boys lmao i actually wanted ds1 to be a girl, and was a tad disapointed he was a boy but i got over it lol

[AquaDevil78]

Im hoping for a girl, not sure why exactly, but just a personal preference, but of course if i have been given a boy i will love him just as much. Girls to me a cuter and nicer to bring up, well so i imagine lol, and girly things are so cute, and lot more variety. But either way i am and will be happy, i wont be dissapointed, as long as i can have a healthy bub then :thumbsup: Funnily enough my DP is hoping for a girl too. :laughing:

[aardvark]

I have two older girls, and had managed to utterly convince myself that DS was going to be another girl.

I had an amnio, so there was no doubt as to the result, I was having a boy.

I was completely unprepared for how totally devastated I was at the time. Utterly shattered. I didn't want a boy at all. Even the retail therapy that having a boy after two girls caused didn't help, and I was miserable for the whole second half of my pregnancy. Particularly, I was worried that I would reject him, or that everyone would tell me how great it was that I finally had a little boy, while I was actually dying inside.

If I was to have another baby (and there is no further ones planned), I think I would not find out what I was having, the reason being that I am now utterly besotted with my little bloke, and would not have it any other way. I put myself through hell, and even briefly considered a termination, for no reason.

[nemosmum]

I have always been a girly girl and with two older sisters my childhood was filled with lovely memories of dress ups, barbie dolls and tea party's.................

So naturally I have always wanted to have a daughter and experience those things with her (even though its not a given she would even be interested in all that girly stuff but....)

When i fell pg with my first I felt straight away i would have a boy and even though a little tiny bit of me wished it was different I never cried or got upset when it was confirmed we were having a boy.

BUT now with our second, my whole family are at me to have a girl.

The first thing my dad said to me when i told him i was expecting was "Oh great finally a grand daughter!"

My mum has already started knitting pink stuff and im only ten weeks pg:eek:

I have a feeling this bub is a girl , but i dont want to get my hopes up as then i would feel so guilty in wishing my baby boy was a girl etc but i can relate to feeling not only family pressure but my own desire to have a baby girl:o

What ever is meant to be will be and i truly believe our children choose us and are destined to be who they are etc which makes it easier for me to deal with the fact i may have another son.....that and plus the added bonus of my son having a brother (which would be nice for them both)

[bobby]

Hi, I had a funny experience with my expectations with my DS (who's now 17) I was told by absolutely everyone I was having a GIRL. Theyd say this cos of my belly, and all sorts of reasons.
I was naive back then, shocked at the time that I was having a baby, so through my WHOLE pregnancy thought that I was having a girl. Bought a set of drawers with pink knobs. Pink embroidered singlets.
Didnt even have a boys name!
So in labour ward I was dazed at the announcement I had just had a BOY.
I too have dreamt of a girl but have unexplained infertility has ended all that. Am doing IUI at mo so any gender will do. However said that, something an older lady said to me comes to mind, she said "It's a shame if you dont have a girl as they dont mind taking you to the shops".
Will definately have a scan to determine the gender as I dont think I want another surprise.

[3 bambinos]

While pregnant with DS I didn't mind which I had as I was just desparate to be a mum. DH wanted a girl though as there are none on his side of the family. We didn't find out what we were having until DS was born and my first thought upon having him was "Oh, I've failed them." Of course I then held him and couldn't care less that he was a boy, I was already besotted with this gorgeous boy.

Now for number 2 I am really feeling the pressure to have a girl. I'm scared to find out while pregnant the sex as I had depression during pregnancy the first time and am afraid if its a boy I'll become depressed, whereas I know if its a boy I will love him from the moment I lay eyes on him.

I will however always wish I could have a girl, as well as my boys not instead of.

[chubbybubby]

My first pregnancy was a complete surprise so I didn't have any previous expectations. I sort of wanted a girl, simply because I had never had any experience with little boys (none in our family), but DH desperately wanted a boy. Now that I have my son, I am glad I had a boy first! And I would be 100% happy with whatever gender we have next time. I love little boys and would happily have four boys if I could choose - but a little girl would be just as nice. :)

[Funkychicken]

It's an interesting topic as it is one of the first things people usually ask of a pregnant woman-Do you know what you are having? There is pressure to give the 'right' answer. If you are in your 2nd pregnancy people respond with "hope you get a ....." if you tell them what you already have.
During my first pregnancy, I always thought I wanted a girl. I would look at little boys in the bank etc... and think YUK! When our son arrived I fell so deeply in love with him atr first sight that I couldn't believe I had thought yuk about boys. Having my own made it all so different. I absolutely (still do!) doted on him.
We planned our 2nd pregnancy and did hope for a girl this time around. At 20 weeks we found out we were having a girl. I was very pleased (I let out an involuntary Ooohhhhh....when they told us) but was feeling quite detached from the pregnancy. Our little girl arrived and I was over the moon but.......I didn't seem to have the same imediate attachment to her that I had with DS. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death but I think my expectation of what having a 'pigeon pair' was way off. It didn't make the whole world shine and I didn't feel completed as I had imagined I would. I was flat for some time after her birth and was probably suffering a mild depression but I just got on with things. Last year when I found out I was pregnant again (surprise!!) it seemed practical to want another girl-closer in age to our DD, no other girls amongst the cousins. But secretly, I was scared that if I had another girl I would become depressed to some extent. Anyway I handed it over to the universe-whatever will be, will be. Our DS#2 turned up and I was absolutely besotted from the moment he plopped onto the bed. Instant love affair! That was when my fears about another girl made sense-I hadn't verbalised it but it all made sense why I was apprehensive during the pregnancy.
As my friend and I often say-Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!!!:D

[4tiggers]

I have four wonderful boys, all of whom I wanted. Even before leaving school I had decided that I wanted four sons, God answered my prayers. One problem though, hubby has been hoping for a girl from pregnancy number 2 onwards, he loves the boys but would'nt mind a daughter. Now I have my boys I am also hoping for a girl or two. We have to go through IVF to have anymore children so hopefully one or two embryos will have two XX's. If I have more boys I will love them as dearly as I love my four sons but shopping for different coloured clothes might be fun.

[mytwolilprinces]

I'm so glad I came across this thread. With DS1 I was expecting to have a boy and because of that kind of hoping that the baby was a little boy. So I was over the moon when after giving birth I asked "so it's a boy isn't it" and my husband looked at me with tears in his eyes and said yes. Second time around I was not so secretly hoping for a girl but had a strong feeling it was not to be. I decided to find out the sex at my 19 weeks u/s and took the news that it was another little boy silently. After leaving the u/s my DH said to me "Sorry babe, I know you really wanted a girl" and I cried! But I am incredibly glad that I found out that it was another little boy - as the weeks went on I became incredibly excited about my little boy having a baby brother and couldn't be happier.

However, I am considering a 3rd but the MAIN reason is to have a little girl. I know this is asking for trouble as chances are I'll have another boy. I am in two minds as to what to do? It certainly gives me something to think about, reading your posts really help.

[dannii]

when i was first pregnant i wanted a girl... and i did.

then my 2nd pregnancy i wanted a boy , to even it up, and i did!

So my 3rd pregnancy didnt matter. but still wanted another cute lil girl, but my DF alrady had a girl (our kids are from previous relationship) so he was hoping for a boy and so was his family by the sounds of it.
well i had a girl.
when i found out i was having a girl, his mother just said something like 'well poppy would have wanted a boy!"
too bad in my books!
of course df really wanted a boy, after she was born it didnt matter at all, them 2 are so cute together!

[blueeyes]

When we found out I was pregnant, we both wanted a boy, I dont know why but we did. I thought all the way through I was carrying a boy, and anyone who asked me I told them so. It was never confirmed and when I gave birth I didnt even ask, I knew it was a boy. He was beautiful and I was in love with him from the first ever moment together.
If there is a next one, I dont care, (secretly I think another boy would be nice, then again so would a girl, oh I dont know:confused: )

[iamstephyc]

I have two of each at the moment. This PG was a BIG surprise and I think that I want a girl. With alll the others I didn't care one way or the other and I don't really mind this time either, but I have this little niggle saying 'Girl'. MAybe it's because my two oldest (daughters) want a baby girl. My boys are to young to even know what is going on, let alone have a prefrence.

[Wondermum]

With our first we didn't find out until the birth that he was a he :D We were both very happy!!

With the next one being a boy I think we both secretly wanted another boy. Boys a far and few on my side of the family. All my cousins are girls except 2 boys that are much much younger than I and I also have two sisters and no brothers. Though if I have the opportunity to have another bub after this one I would love to experience a little girl but I don't think I would be disappointed if it were another boy ;)

[tjrmum]

Well I have 3 boys and Id be lying if I said I didnt hope for a girl - But thats not to say that I dont love my boys - I just wish that I had a girl. But it wasnt to be and Im am grateful to have 3 healthy wonderful boys and that I was able to have children - ykwim.

Im not going back to try again - So hopefully one of my sisters will have a girl and I can buy her lots of pink things and little dollies LOL

The only thing that annoys me are the people who say - "oh my 3 boys - What a handful" :shame: or "you have to try for a girl" :shame: or "You must want a girl so badly" :shame: Well no I did hope for a girl but am more than happy with my 3 boys - Thank you :p

[*Sparkles*]

I come from a family of all girls, my mum was one of 3 girls, she had 2 girls and my sister has had 2 girls. So it would be nice to have a boy.

On my DH's side he has 1 brother who has not had (and won't be) having children. So if we have a boy, he will be the only one to carry on the family name (like being first in line for the throne lol)

Personally, I am happy with either. For me, I would like a girl as I am quite girly and would love to do all those girly things with my daughter. Plus I can really go to town on a girl's nursery lol

However, I would like a boy for DH's sake as he would like to share his interests with a son such as cars, motobikes and going fishing etc (I am not really interested in any of that). I sometimes wonder how DH would be if we had a girl.

So it's an interesting wait for us to see what we are having. I am an older mum too so this will probably be our one and only child.

[defaipe]

While pregnant with DS I didn't mind which I had as I was just desparate to be a mum. DH wanted a girl though as there are none on his side of the family. We didn't find out what we were having until DS was born and my first thought upon having him was "Oh, I've failed them." Of course I then held him and couldn't care less that he was a boy, I was already besotted with this gorgeous boy.

Now for number 2 I am really feeling the pressure to have a girl. I'm scared to find out while pregnant the sex as I had depression during pregnancy the first time and am afraid if its a boy I'll become depressed, whereas I know if its a boy I will love him from the moment I lay eyes on him.

I will however always wish I could have a girl, as well as my boys not instead of.
i must say if there are no boys on hubbys side of the family you all know that theres a huge chance its a boy. i should hope there would be no pressure put on you! my sis was in the same situation, but she wanted the girl but her hubby had no girls except a half sister and they ended up with 4 boys! :D hopefully his family will realise healthy babies and healthy mums are the most important thing!
take care

[defaipe]

oops i meant 'no girls'. hehe

[defaipe]

i absolutely love having 2 girls. with #3 i will be more than happy to have another girl but at the same time having a boy would be nice as well.
either way im happy! :thumbsup:

[FOURtunate]

I have had four children. Three girls and a boy. I was in shock when at 14 weeks I discovered that I was having a boy. Shocked, but over the moon.

I couldn't imagine crying about having/not having a particular sex of child.

Just have a read of the IVF, Egg Donation, Losing a Child and Premmie Babies Posts, and you'll see that they would do ANYTHING to have to worry about that.

I know that in my family, when I was growing up, Mum had three girls. When she was having my brother (the youngest, and final child), all she got from family and friends were hopes for a boy. Mum has said that she felt terrified of giving birth to another girl! I however, did not feel anything like that.

[Leez]

I had decided I was having a boy, I couldn't see myself raising a girl at all and I'd totally convinced myself that the universe would provide me with a son. After the amnio I thought finding out the sex would just be a formality, and when the doc looked at the computer screen and said 'you're having a beautiful baby girl', I thought I'd heard incorrectly! (I know, it sounds so stupid, but thats the power of the mind!) DH was completely stoked, he'd secretly been gunning for a girl, but it took me quite some time to get my head around it.

After sitting with it for some time and going through a range of emotions- mainly fear and resentment, I realised that I wanted a boy so badly because deep down I had this belief that its easier to raise a child of the opposite sex to you. Somehow, (to me) the stakes aren't quite as high, having a son behaving badly, making bad choices or whatever, I could almost say oh well, thats boys for you. Having a daughter doing that, I think I'd take a lot more personally, almost like her mistakes are mine as well. Its like I was afraid of how invested I'd get in a daughter's life. Interestingly, I brought this up with DH, and he said that's one of the reasons he so wanted a girl, that way he could just love her and spoil her, but as far as serious guidance into womanhood goes, well that naturally falls to the mother (my DH is a brutally honest person!). I guess I was mainly afraid that if she didn't make good choices in her life, it would be my fault, but I wouldn't feel that as strongly with a son.

These beliefs I obviously developed before actually becoming a parent (good one! :thumbsup: ) and now that I have my daughter, I couldn't imagine it being any different - she's amazing and I LOVE having a girl!! I look forward to the years to come, and sharing all I have with her, she's made my life that much richer I can't believe it.

[Elijahsmama]

I was wanting a girl because 1. there were no granddaughters only grandsons and i wanted to have the first girl!! 2. i just really wanted a girl!! I found out at 20wks i was having a boy and got really sad. I soon got over it and just adore my lil man but i am desperate for a girl next time because DH only wants one more, if that!

[bearsmummy]

When i was pregnant the first time i really wished for a boy as i never had any brothers, i got my wish when jake was born.
Then second time around i really hoped for a daughter at my 19 week scan we found out we were having another boy. i was slightly disappointed but thought "Oh well there is always next time"
well third time round just to make sure we did the whole timing thing to get a girl... even though i knew this wasnt 100% fool proof i was pretty hopeful. I decided to find out at my 19 week scan this time to prepare myself before i had the bub just in case it was another boy. I didnt want to feel disappointed or shocked when the time came to meet our bubba. I wanted it to be a happy moment.... well wasnt i shocked to find out we were having another boy:eek: i was quite upset when we got home, i was worried i would feel like that forever. But day by day i was getting more excited and now i wouldnt swap joel for the world...i feel terrible for taking it so badly.
now next time round- which will be my last... im more prepared to have another boy... i will find out at 19 weeks (just in case) but i now think im destined to have all sons and thats ok with me. ill dote on my neices and friends little girls instead :p

[BlessedWithBlue]

Well with ds#1 we both REALLY wanted a boy but wouldn't have been disappointed either way. With ds#2 df wanted another boy but i would have liked a girl but i didn't have a strong preference, i would have been happy with either. When we found out ds#2 was boy we were thrilled and called the family to let them know the great news but all we got in response was "oh, another boy- pity it wasn't a girl you already had a boy" which broke my heart not for the fact that he was a boy but for the fact that we we're thrilled but all we got from other people and family were negative reactions and i felt i had disappointed my family if i'm making any sense (i tend to ramble a bit lol)
This time around i am having twins, i would really like one to be a girl really mainly for the fact that my boys would really love a little sister and df has no girls born in his family his sister is the only girl and she is 24 years old.
If i have 4 boys then i will be happy with my house full of boys:D Df will just have to get a second job ;)

[Rachael]

I wanted a girl and so did DH (mainly because I did lol).

But I had done my research and knew my chances were quite slim. From the reading I have done the sex is determined by if the sperm is a X or a Y as all eggs are X.

Hubby has 4 brothers and no sisters and girls are rare in his fathers family. His father has majority brothers and only one sister from memory(10siblings).

So when we were told we were having a boy I was sad yes but had expected that. I love my little boy to bits though and it was instant the second I heard him cry and saw him.
I hope our next (and last ) is a girl but I am thinking it won't be just due to the genetics factor from my darling DH.
Contemplating having his sperm tested but I daresay the Y sperms outweigh the X sperms by at least 90%, probably won't though. What will be will be.

[LittleBoysRock]

I wanted a girl when I found out I was pregnant with DS. When we found out at 19 weeks I wasnt suprised I was having a boy but I was slightly disappointed to be honest.

DH was so excited to be having a boy and I guess his happiness spread to me. I was happy to be having a boy by the time he was born.:D

[hillbaby5]

I am so glad to hear I'm not the only one who cried I wanted a girl but with the first one I was glad with a boy cause I knew I would have another baby so I wasnt really bothered but when I foud out I as having a boy the second time I cried I gave myself one day to be sad and get over it . And thats wat I did, I wouldnt swap my beautiful baby boy's for anything ever and i dont feel any dissapointment now. I would love to have a girl next but I dont know whether I want 3 kids and if I get a boy next will I regret it in the back of my mind everytime I find life hard I know I'll love my baby but wat about those little feelings you cant control.

[Dannii79]

With our boys we didn't care what we were having. We didn't find out the sex with either, but I was secretly hoping it was a boy for the first. Anyway this time we REALLY wanted a girl. We decided to find out the sex so that if they said it was a boy I would get over it and get use to the idea before he was born. The morning of my ultra-sound I had myself that worried where I was puking all morning just thinking that they would tell me it was a boy. When the sonographer said it was a girl, I must have asked him 10 times how sure he was. I just hope he was as sure as he told me he was lol :fingerscrossed:

[hillbaby5]

any tips on how to get a girl 3rd time lol congrats thats awesome

[Bel1978]

Hey i wanted to see what you had to say about gender...

Deep down i want a girl... but at the moment i would just settle for a baby...... Boy or Girl.

[bma_one]

I thought I would be disappointed if I found out I was having a boy, but I wasn't at all - I spent the whole day after the u/s grinning like a madman!!! :D

[GraceUnhearing]

i dont really mind what i have whihc is why we're not finding out.

DP really wants a girl as hes got 2 brothers and not many girls in his family.

my mum was the only girl wth 4 brothers, so ithink chances of a girl are slim, but thats what he wants.

like i said i dont really mind as long as its healthy

[jiminy7]

I was dead set that I was having a boy with my pregnancy, i would have bet my life on it, no particular reason why but i just had this overwhelming feeling it was a boy. I didnt mind i was happy with either, although after all my kids are done i would have been more disapointed if i had no girls than no boys, but it doesnt mean that much to me whatever i have.

So I was that certain that I was having a boy that when I delivered my bubba , the midwife said "oh look what you've got", and by that time i was exhausted so i said pls just tell me,

and she said a little girl!!!!:idea:

My head sat straight up and I said what?, and she said a beautiful baby girl, and I was like"really?" and she said yes, to which i still had to turn to my hubby and say "Really"? which he replied, i think she knows its a girl darl.

Oh what a lovely surprise!!!!! :yelclap: a little girl, It was awsome , I dont know what made me think it was a boy all along, just a feeling!!

so next time doesnt matter either way!!!

and i wont be trusting my feelings thats for sure!! hehehehe:D

[danik]

We went into my 19 week ultrasound excited about finding out the sex of Bub. Due to Bub's uncooperation we ended up not finding out. But there and then we decided that "it wasn't meant to be" and now we are waiting until Bub joins us to find out.

I like to use the "what's meant to be is meant to be" mindframe when it comes to Bub's sex.

[Shellfish]

When my sister was pregnant I know that she would have preferred a boy, she now has a 9 month old little girl and you just have to see them together to know that she wouldn't change a single thing about her daughter, she just absolutely adores that little girl.

[~Danni~]

when we first found out we were pregnant we thought it would be nice to have a boy then a girl next...... at the u/s we found out we were having a girl and were over the moon!:D

Then with this one we changed our minds again and said another girl would be great but we found out we were having a boy (although as soon as we were told it was a he we were overjoyed and I can't even imagine wanting anything but my lil man...IYKWIM) :D

My auntie left her second as a suprise and was sure she was having a boy. but it was agirl.... I know she was dissapointed but 10 months on she loves her and can't imagine wanting anything else:)

[mum2bubba]

I really want another girl for my next one and I am a bit worried that if I have a boy, I won't be as happy (a healthy bubba is what I want first of all)

I know it might sound wierd wanting another girl seeing as though we already have one, but I think its more of a financial reason coz the baby (if its a girl) can have all Hayley's clothes, if we have a boy, he can have SOME of Hayley's clothes but there wouldn't be as many as for a girl iykwim.

If I have a boy, I will still love him and everything, but my heart is set on a girl more. Also we've picked a girl name and not a boy name.

I just hope my baby is happy and healthy no matter if its a boy or a girl. ;)

[BlakeNatsMum]

Hi,

I'm exactly with you! We have a beautiful son who is nearly 3. And we absolutely love him to death, even if he is very active and demanding at times! We are currently expecting our second child, and I would dearly like to have a girl, as there have been nothing but boys born in mine and partners family. My partner only has brothers, and I have two sisters, one of which has had 2 boys and the other is the only one who has had 2 girls & 2 boys. When we were first pregnant with our first child, I wasn't really worried about what we had as long as he/she was healthy at birth. Now that we are expecting our second, I would really like my son to have a little sister, however the plus for having a boy is that we already have alot of boys clothes for the new addition. We will be finding out what we are having, just so that I have time to adjust if it is another boy. Not that I won't love him as much as I love my son now, he will be very much wanted & loved.

I guess like they say we just can't put in our order with the baby fairy telling them what gender we would like!

________________________
:kiss: DP: 28
:hugs: ME:28
:thumbsup: DS: Nov 03
:smiliedance: Bub #2 - due April 2007

[*~alegna~*]

Hello Mummies! - Congrats to all that are expecting :kiss:

I was not fussed on what we had when we were pg with DS. DH really wanted a boy as a girl would have mean't the end of his family name, So I was happy that HE was happy.

I wouldn't swap him for the world, he is 13weeks now & already has me wrapped around his litte finger..or thumb:D

Next round (2nd & last) I would like a girl to have the pigeon pair, & so I'm not out numbered!....However it would be nice for DS to have a Brother as they will be quite close together.

Either or, I can't wait to meet him/her:rolleyes:

[luckie_me]

With Jacko I was pleased I was having a boy but i would of been pleased having a girl too! Just having a baby was was great for me so i didnt have any preference.

[Jamily]

I have a wonderful daughter so this time around we were hoping for a boy (after having a healthy baby of course) and it was confirmed last week we were indeed buying blue! However, I have had a few tears when packing away DD's old clothes knowing they won't be used again and that she won't ever have a sister (no plans for more bubs after this one). Talk about being hard to please :rolleyes: I guess you could say I am not disappointed at all that we are having a boy, but sad that I have to stop buying anymore pink baby stuff!

[Milliner]

I was upset to find out that I was having a boy I had my heart set on a little girl but I am so in love with my boy. Next time hopefully will be a little princess

[meags]

i have a lil boy and am 25 weeks pregnant with a lil suprise bundle... i honestly do not mind either way as long as the child is healthy... i honestly dont really have a preference.. i didnt when i was pregnant the first time either.. the fact that i am going to be a mummy to a gorgeous lil bundle is enough for me...

[Dannii79]

any tips on how to get a girl 3rd time lol congrats thats awesome

I did some research lol. I used "The Shettles Method" and an ovulation calendar. When I was talking to my Ob about it, she basically told me it was bulls**t and it is the luck of the draw:ecomcity: .........so who knows.:confused:

[CJJHRA]

I so much wanted first bubba to be a girl, I thought it would be so cute and cool to have a little girl to dress up and do her hair. WHen I found out it was a boy, I was convinced they got it wrong on the u/s everyone said it looked like I was having a boy, but I wanted a girl! I wouldnt know what to do with a boy LOL.. anyway, he was a he, and I loved him from the moment he was born!

Number 2, I wanted a boy, as it was what I knew... same with #3, wanted another boy..

when I was preg with the twins, I would have loved them to be twins girls.. alas, they were boys number 4&5.. didnt bother me in the slightest to be honest, it did upste DH, he thought at least one would be a girl.

when I got preg with #6 (very unplanned, DH was so against a 6th!!).. the pregnancy was so different, I was so tired, felt sick, couldnt eat meat, couldnt eat CHOCOLATE!!! any meats made me puke! I so convinced myself it was a boy, but so much so wanted a girl, we both didnt think we could love another boy, but again, DH more so than me, he was just so down and not excited one bit!! (I know that sounds mean, shallow and all) the smile on his face once she was born, you think he had won lotto!

anyway.. shes a little cow! boys are so much easier! ok, boys are noiser, and rougher, girls are sweet, cute, but if they dont get their way.. OMG.. do you know about it! She is very different to the boys

[oleander]

There was huge expectations for a girl on my husbands side as he is one of 3 boys and he has 3 cousins all boys. The first grandchild last year was a boy. There hasnt been a girl born since my MIL which was 54 years ago. I have a feeling she's going to get so much attention and be so spoilt by my MIL & FIL.

[TigerBlueBear]

I had always expected I would have a daughter. When I was pregnant with my first the OB did a scan at 18wks and announced the baby was a girl. I was over the moon. My husband was doing a sonography course at the time and we had access to an ultrasound machine at his work, so nipped in there one day when I was about 23wks. At that scan we discovered our daughter had very obvious male tackle. I must admit I was rather disappointed after thinking for five weeks I was going to have my daughter, but I thought there is always next time.

After our first son was born my husband discovered he is not a baby person and wanted to scale back our original plans for three children back to two. I still really wanted three so we made a deal. If the 2nd child was a girl we would stop at two but if it was a boy we would go for a third.

When we found out at his midterm scan that Blue was a boy I was really pleased, but I think hubby was a little disappointed.

When it came time for looking at having our 3rd though I realised I really needed to think long and hard about whether I desperately wanted a daughter or if I would have been happy with another boy. After much soul searching I decided the latter was the case and we went ahead and conceived.

At my 10wk scan I had a pretty fair inkling the baby was a girl and at the 20 wk scan it was confirmed without a doubt. I was absolutely thrilled and so was hubby, but I look back now and sometimes wonder how I would have reacted if she had been a boy. I wondered whether I deluded myself into believing another boy would be ok or whether I just believed things would go my way - as they usually do - and I would get a girl.

[my_lot]

anyway.. shes a little cow! boys are so much easier! ok, boys are noiser, and rougher, girls are sweet, cute, but if they dont get their way.. OMG.. do you know about it! She is very different to the boys

oh jeeez this made me laugh!!!!

we have dsd 15, dd 9.5 and 7.5 and i wanted a girl with my son. i cried in the u/s when they said boy. i was in shock. i didnt even believe her, she blew uo the image and i said "that has to be the cord". he was boy alright! and hes spent the last 4 years throwing me out of my comfort zone!

im now preg with no.4 and we had agreed id find out and dp and kids would have a surprise.2 days ago we went for the scan and in the waiting room dp said hed really like to know.

so we go into the room and the lady says she wont be talking during the scan she has to concentrate...she rund the scan over the body and legs and i saw the willy! i gave a shocked look at dp but he didnt seem to notice it- he was talking about the feet now on the monitor. she asked if wed like to know the sex and then showed us between the legs...it was a boy alright!

dp was so happy. i felt so bad for not feeling the same, like i had to force a smile so the u/s lady didnt think i was a cow for wanting anything but a healthy baby.... dp kissed me and said he knew it wasnt what i wanted...i had to bite my tears.

i held it together till i got home.. i had a cry for the little girl i wanted...but im over it now. ive gone and got some blue clothes and spent some time alone sorting out the little clothes from the other kids. dp and i have named him...and we are still keeping it a surprise form the other kids so its fun hearing their excited chatter about what it is.

im not as shocked as i was with ds. but ive had moments of looking at him thinking another boy!! OMG

dp thinks its great! he thinks boys are easier! the girls still throw him out of his comfort zone!

[blessedmummy]

havent had any disappointments with my two girls, i feel ive been blessed abundently(sp?)and yeah, i know that my DH and i would love a boy someday soon, but if that doesnt happen thats ok, as long as the bub is healthy ill be happy, it wont matter if its a boy or girl. :)

[1+1=5]

i love these threads. its like therapy each time i read them. i strated a similar thread a couple of weeks ago becuase i was freaking out about the impending ultrasound and the pressure to have a girl. i really, really wanted a little girl and i was convinced i was having a girl till about two weeks before the ultrasound.
by the time i got there i had pretty much accepted that i was having a boy but i was still holding my breath when the sonographer was having a look and she smiled with a bit of a 'sorry' in her eyes and i knew that it was a boy.
it was hard to contain the emotions because DH had stepped out for the announcement (he doesn't want to know) and if i walked out with tears he would know!

it took me about 2 weeks to accept that i will be a mother of boys. out numbered 3 to 1 i told myslef and no girls in the house. DH says no to baby #3.
i think i was slipping into a bit of depression and i thought i would have a bath, turn the lights off, light some candles and have a chat with 'Jack' and it was awsome. he responded to me talking to him quietly by moving and kicking. i said i was sorry for putting all this pressure on him to be a girl and that i was lucky that he was healthy. he would also have a very enthusiastic little brother waiting for him.
it's still a bit weird for me to think i won't have a daughter but i'm also happy to know we're having another little boy because owen was (and is) a great baby and kid and he is very very loving. i also know that once Jack does arrive, it will be even better.

[nut]

That is beautiful, Andrea.
I am Mamma to one peachy boy, and while there is pressure on me to produce a girl I have made peace with the idea of having only boys.

Bless 'em all:yes:

[LoopyLyndaLou]

Hi,

when I was pregnant with bub#2 I just felt I was having another boy but everyone else said I was haivng a girl, everyone else wanted a girl, even dh, I felt as if I should have a girl for them

Well bub#2 was another boy, when I was told I did feel disappointed for a few moments, I fetl I had let everyone down but then I got angry, here I was with this perfect, beautiful little baby and I was made to feel disappointed.

When I was pg with bub#3 I was determined to find out what sex it was before I gave birth so I would neve feel like that again. As it turned out I was having lots of complications this time and I found out at 18 weeks I was haivng another boy, I did not care at all, all we wanted is for him to be born safe and well, sadly this was not the case, he was still born at 6 months gestation.

I was pegnant with bub#4, again I felt it was another boy, but complications started again early on, we were forced to end this pregnancy at just 12 weeks. Samples were taken for tests but they messed them up and no results were obtained, I never knew the sex of this baby but I just knew he was a boy.

Madly, we went again, this was to be bub#5, due to our history i was scanned alot and by this time I was pretty good at reading them, at 17 weeks I knew I was haviing a boy, it wasn't confirmed medically but I knew, I didn't even tell dh.

So many people would say "I bet you want a girl this time", I couldn't believe it, they knew our history why would we have a gender preference at this stage? I used to answer "so long as this one is alive we don't care", that would shut them up!

So I have definitely had 4 boys, possibly carried 5, we would like another and yes a girl would be nice but 4 boys at home would be great too. Sometimes I feel left out when friends of mine have girls and do girly things but mostly I just feel damn proud of all of my children. I joke that one of my boys must be gay so that when I am old I have someone to go shopping with and chose curtain fabric with!!

I can remember announcing to some friends another friend of ours had just had a boy, she already had a girl, all these firends had one of each too and one said "there is something so special about having one of each". I felt devastated as having any child is special!

Lynda xx

[fozzie]

I can remember announcing to some friends another friend of ours had just had a boy, she already had a girl, all these firends had one of each too and one said "there is something so special about having one of each". I felt devastated as having any child is special!

Lynda xx[/quote]

I agree with you on that one, any child is a blessing and although I would love a girl with #3 I am also starting to think that if I have another boy then it would be great watching DH and all of them playing footy etc. I had a thoughtless comment like that when I had DS2 he was the 3rd Grandson and MIL said "Oh another boy" really dissapointedly I was furious but that is what she is like doesn't think but also doesn't do it malicously (sp?) Of course SIL had a girl 18 months later so she never got a comment and her son was the first grandchild.:rolleyes:

Michelle xx

[LoopyLyndaLou]

Hi Michelle,

I have to tell you that three boys is great fun, they are all so different but each one is just gorgoues in their own right.

I remember when I lived in England seeing a documentary programme which followed vetinary students through their last year of study. I remember one devishly handsom student who was just so lovely, they filmed him at home once, he was the youngest fo four boys, all of whom were vets, of all whom had a magic relationship with their parents and eachother. I could remember thinking how proud I would be to be the mother of four intelligent, handsom, caring boys so the thought of having another boy does not phase me in the slightest - it would be a privilige!

Even with the three I have at home I think of myself waling down the street as an old lady flanked by these three perfect men!

Lynda xx

ps I have decided I am going to go to Pumpkin Patch and buy one of those teddies and get all the girly outfits for it so I can get the girly retail thing out of my system....lol

[mumma_jessy]

When i was pregnant with our first i just knew he was a boy, we did have the ultrasound to check, but neither of us were suprised when we found out for sure.

When we started TTc #2 we tried for a girl, and i felt different and secretly thought it was a girl but tried not to get my hopes up and told myself it would be a boy. But yay, she was a she! The first girl in 6 generations of DF's side! I think i would have been disapointed if i'd had another boy, but not for long.

If we had another one, i wouldn't find out the sex, cause now we have everything for either sex, but i think i'd really like another boy. But it's doubtful that will ever happen so there is no need to think about it, lol!

[BlessedWithBlue]

Well my third and fourth boys are on their way lol.
I must say when the tech told me they were both boys i was a little disappointed but i am over it :D Our house will certainly be full of chaos once they get a little bigger. Although i wish i had never told my family as usual they were negative and all i got was "oh my god, more boys. you're never gonna have a girl" but you know what! screw them i am happy with my little basketball team in the making and i am sick of them making me feel crappy for disappointing them just because my children aren't their desired gender. Df and i do want one more and if it's another boy we will be happy with the abundance of boys!! at least they will protect mummy when daddy is at work ;) I think next time we will find out the sex and not say anything just for the sake of not wanting to listen to the rude comments from family, friends and complete strangers that ask what you are having and is it your first, and how disppointed you must be to be having just another boy :mad:

[nemosmum]

WOW Rachel twin boys! MY dh is sooooo envious as that is his dream LOL for me to be pg with twins and for them to both be boys!!!!

My family is the same, my mum has already started knitting pink stuff and my dad takes every chance he can to remind me how much he'd love a grand daughter!

Like you i feel like finding out the sex and not telling anyone LOL!

[BlessedWithBlue]

WOW Rachel twin boys! MY dh is sooooo envious as that is his dream LOL for me to be pg with twins and for them to both be boys!!!!

My family is the same, my mum has already started knitting pink stuff and my dad takes every chance he can to remind me how much he'd love a grand daughter!

Like you i feel like finding out the sex and not telling anyone LOL!

haha we were actually gonna do that this time but we found out twins were on the way so i decided against it this time because the family actually do want to help get the extras we need for the extra baby lol:eek: it was actually only the day before we found out the sexes that my ds1 was listening to the babies on the prenatal listener and my grandpa says to me "let's hope there's a little girl in there":banghead:

[mumofprincess20]

oh how exitment, twins!!!:D Hope one of the little bubs is a girl:)

[BlessedWithBlue]

oh how exitment, twins!!!:D Hope one of the little bubs is a girl:)

They're both boys lol!!!

[nemosmum]

LOL did you read the post mumofprincesses? hehehehehehe

[1+1=5]

oh how exitment, twins!!!:D Hope one of the little bubs is a girl:)

lol thats a classic....exactly what people are talking about on here.

[1+1=5]

When i found out ths little one was a boy, i decided to definitly keep it to myself because i knew the comments i would get from people. for the past couple of years i have been telling people that baby no 2 will be a girl......no other way about it. so people think we don't know :p. once the baby comes, they are hardly going to show dissapointment as obviously, well lets hope not.

[kirst74]

I've really enjoyed this thread - I have two year old twin boys, and when I was first pregnant, I was convinced that I was carrying one of each sex. I spent about a week crying after the 18 week ultrasound when we discovered it was two boys, and feeling horribly guilty, especially as I'd had a previous miscarriage. I felt much better after a fortnight or so, and went out and bought some adorable little boys' outfits to start getting myself used to the idea. I realised much later on that my initial feelings were a pure grief reaction to the perceived loss of a daughter - it was about saying goodbye to her, and getting to know the two little boys inside me. By the time they arrived, I was completely in love with them and they are the absolute lights of my life - I wouldn't swap them for a million girls, and in fact wonder what on earth I'd do with a girl now!

After 2 more miscarriages, we're still trying for number 3, and I am going to smash the next person who says, 'I bet your praying for a girl'. Actually, no, I'm praying for a live one.

To be honest, I'm not all that taken with most of the little girls I know - they seem to grow up so much faster than boys these days, whilst all the boys I know, right up to adulthood, are very loving and warm creatures. After all, I know plenty of women who can't stand their mothers, and lots of men who worship theirs.

At the end of the day, I think a child's relationship with its family is all about the family dynamic and the personality of the child, rather than about one gender or another. I would really love another boy, but would be over the moon to have a healthy girl as well.

Good luck everyone!

[Shellfish]

I realised much later on that my initial feelings were a pure grief reaction to the perceived loss of a daughter
I completely relate to that. Even though we never minded either way what we were having, I had a little cry for the imaginary girl I had 'bonded' with and equally I would have felt a loss for a little boy, had it been the other way around.

[kirst74]

That's the crux of it, I think, Shellfish, you do bond with the baby you're carrying and you ascribe it a gender and a personality, you imagine what it might look like and the things you might do together - even what it will wear. When all of a sudden that image changes, it really is a bit like a death. So really, grief is a perfectly normal and understandable reaction.

The only thing I suggest to people who even have the slightest hint of gender preference, is to find out before the baby arrives. Often people are shocked by their reaction (I certainly was), and it gives you time to work through any grief or disappointment, and then bond with the baby that you ARE carrying. And I promise, you will! I was so thrilled to meet Alex and Ben on the day that they were born, and felt like I knew them so well already - it was indescribably special. Bonding was never an issue.

All the best for the safe arrival of your little man, boys are just divine!

xx

[defaipe]

now that i am over 18weeks and am looking preg im sick of the 'oh so you'll be hoping for a boy this time then' geez it sh!ts me. i will be happy either way! even when preg with dd#2 when people would ask and i'd say she was a girl they'd be like 'oh what a shame' i was like a shame for who?? i love my girls and i think its amazing they'll have eachother growing up. my sis and i are 9yrs apart(with 2 boys in between) so we werent close at all till i fell preg with dd#1. i think my girls are lucky.. even though i loved growing up with my brother! so this time around either way i'll be very happy!!
i will say though that hubby would love a son. it would be nice for him to get his wish but at the same time he'll love this one as much as the two we have either way.

[Chub Chub]

I had been trying to concieve DD for quite awhile when one of my closest friends announced she was unexpectantly pregnant:eek:. She wasn't overly excited as she was due to be married and would be 4-5 months preggie at her wedding. Well I eventually fell preggie the month after and was over the moon. Anyhow to cut to the chase....she was absolutely hell bent on having a boy. At time she would discuss with me and I would say that I was just happy to be preggie and didn't have a preference on the gender. Well she ended up having her boy and of course I had my DD.

Well...........now she is preggie with number two! After telling me early on, she tried to convince me to concieve number 2 so we could be pregnant together (I just ain't ready yet!). Well this one she was again hell bent it had to be a girl! She has be plagued with pregnancy problems (lots of bleeding etc). I suggested that she would be happy to have a healthy bub....she said as long as it was a girl WTF??? Anyhow she just found out Yes she is having a girl....I know it sounds bad but I was hoping it was another boy to sort of teach her a lesson (sound really bad doesn't it?) Any how I am pretty disappointed in her attitude and I am disappointed in myself for wishing a boy on her but considering her pregnancy history I really thought it would be an issue to have another HEALTHY baby.

I honestly try not to judge people on these type of things but I sort got a bit cranky with her attitude, but I suppose different strokes for different folks! For me I am happy just to fall pregnant as my family is plagued with infertility, so for me just to fall is an issue. But I suppose that is what is important to her!

[nemosmum]

I know that i really am keen to have a girl this time round,
I know that I will have a little cry if i find out next week that im NOT having my girl:crying:

That does not mean that I wont be happy/excited/loving to have another boy and of course i want (as all mums do) a healthy bub!

BUT i have some very personal reasons for wanting a girl and i really dont think anyone has a right to judge me because i feel this way.

Chub Chub- I think its not the fact your friend wanted a certain sex that got up your nose, i think its the fact that shes fertile and didnt have to struggle like you to fall pg (which is totally understandable)

If i had fertility problems i would be seriously jealous of anyone who could fall easily!

[Chub Chub]

Chub Chub- I think its not the fact your friend wanted a certain sex that got up your nose, i think its the fact that shes fertile and didnt have to struggle like you to fall pg (which is totally understandable)

If i had fertility problems i would be seriously jealous of anyone who could fall easily!

Oh for sure! But also her blatant disregard for my feelings also adds to my dismay! But that is my issue not hers. I think my problem is that I percieve her feelings from my point of view....eveyone feels the way the feel for a reason I suppose I was just disappointed becasue this pregnancy has been extremely rough for her and from my point of view the gender seemed to be the main concern for her.

I don't know what I was trying to get out of my post....maybe just to write things down to clear my head! Don't get me wrong I am totally surprised at myself for feeling a little bit angry with her, it not usually like me so writing about it seemed to help. I did ring her to congratulate her and she is absolutely over the moon which is nice. This post was more about me coming to terms with my "judging" I think because as I said it is usual for me to feel like that! :o It is quite a bit embarrassing.

Plus I do have a daughter so I don't know how I would feel if I had a son first.....I am sure it would maybe be a bit different? Also not being preggie again I might be disappointed with a girl again (I don't think so though) but who knows?

Babies are such a precious gift and I am sure once they arrive each mummy wouldn't have it any other way.

ADDED: a sincere good luck for a pink one nemosmum!

[nemosmum]

Thanks chub chub:p

I agree with you though, I have a couple of close friends who do have fertilty problems and its really hard for me to say "oh btw im pg again" especially when both pg's were unplanned and happened really really easily.

With this second bub I fell just after a close friend lost her bub at 20 weeks so I carried around alot of guilt and felt terrible when i finally told her.............

I know logically that theres nothing i can do about my genetic makeup and my fertility OR being able to carry a healthy full term bub BUT emotionally i was really caught up in feeling very very guilty.

I dont talk to her or others about my desire for a baby girl because of this and the simple fact that people really are judgmental about this sought of thing.

Oh and btw feel free to vent here anytime chub chub, gosh i do it daily and your right it does help!:D