How do you re-settle?

[Mischief]

Okay, my baby has started waking every 2 hours from 12/1am.

I have been getting up at 1 and changing his nappy, then popping him back to bed. Off to sleep he goes.

At 330 he wakes up and wants feeding...thats fine I feed him then....

at 5-6am he wakes up and I change his nappy and put him back to bed until about 7.

Now, I'm scared I'm making a pattern here and he will keep waking at 1 and 5 for a nappy change and cuddle. Its been suggested that i just let him cry himself back to sleep since he isnt hungry, but I feell so mean doing that, and it doesnt work as he works himself up into hysterics. :'(

So....how do you resettle without picking the bub up out of the cot?

[elissas]

I think the only way to do it is to replace habits with new habits, but each time you do introduce a new habit, make it one that's less intrusive and one that encourages bubs to settle themselves a little more. You don't have to do it all in one go!! You can phase things in and out and do it gently.

Maybe start by picking him up briefly, cuddling him to "nearly" sleep, then putting him back in that state. Then you might have more success settling without picking up in a couple of weeks.

You really should read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, there are so many suggestions!

Also remember that to improve night sleeping, it's sometimes easier to tackle all other issues other than night sleeping directly. I found that by giving DS a couple of more physically intensive and tiring playtimes in the day, he naps better, and then sleeps better at night. Maybe try massage, feeding solids at different times in the day, even modifying routines and bathtimes etc.

Remember that leaving a baby to cry doesn't actually teach them to be a "good" baby. They stop crying because there is no point. I know some camps don't see this is a problem, but teaching a child learned helplessness and that communicating needs is pointless is a pretty average parenting technique (being diplomatic here ;)). I don't understand why parents use a technique without considering it fully, or without at least putting themselves in their baby's shoes and imagining how it would feel. So many say that it feels terrible but continue to do it. I say if it feels wrong, then it is!!

Sorry for digressing :o

I hope I've at least helped a little bit. :p

[elissas]

Oh, I also wanted to mention something.

My DS has recently gone through a phase where he's waking every 1-2 hours at night.

What I'm finding is that he's needing fewer and fewer night feeds. He's not hungry anymore. And in fact, when he's waking, most of the time he even refuses a comfort feed to help him get back to sleep.

But he's still waking, and I think he's confused about what he "should" be doing if he's not feeding - and mummy and daddy aren't playing so what's going on? He starts playing and crawling all over me at 3am :eek: So cute (but yes it's tiring).

I believe he's adjusting to the changes going on in his feeding patterns and night time patterns. I'm trying things to see what works - ie. helping him to settle back down. But on the same note I also know that if left he'd eventually figure it out and naturally adjust anyway. I just don't know how long that will take, and I need sleep!

[Mischief]

Elissas - Thank you. Your little boy sounds like mine. I tried to offer Oliver a feed at 1am night before last and he did that *DONT YOU DARE STICK THAT THING IN MY MOUTH* squeel he does when he's had ENOUGH!

And in the morning he drinks about 40ml and then refuses any more....its only the 330am feed that he is hungry for.

I will try tonight just picking him up and cuddling him then putting him back to sleep. I have a hard time not changing his nappy, it feels WRONG, but almost all the books say dont change their nappy during the night unless its dirty.....and I guess if he was sleeping thru i wouldnt be changing his nappy every couple of hours....

[elissas]

I had to get past the nappy thing too.

But don't worry - just put some barrier cream on before bed. If it's bothering him he'll let you know!

And remember, just like us, the less he drinks at night the less he will wee as well! If he's cutting back on night feeds it will become less of an issue.

[aprilbaby]

Seriously Kat, I think our boys are in synch somehow, we seem to have exactly the same experience night after night! It's freaky. I had an every two hours last night too. :gloomy:

I tried the top up with EMB but it did nothing, he barely even drank it so it all went to waste. I really think he must be having a growth spurt because he's fed every three hours today and he can usually go 5 or more without looking for it.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.....I've stopped changing DS's nappy in the night and I found it's made it much easier to resettle him. When I used to change it he would wake up alot more and it would take alot longer to get him back down. I figured that those bubs who were sleeping through weren't having their nappy changed so it must be ok. Having said that if he does a big poo I'll change it. Oh, how I dread the sound of a big deposit. :laughing:

Anyway, you might find stopping this makes the whole process alot faster and soon enough he'll stop waking all together. And then hopefully it will rub off on my boy and he'll stop too. xx

[Mischief]

Thanks Aprilbaby! Wish me luck tonight. I'm going to try resettling without the nappy change!

Fingers crossed cause the Dream Feed is breaking my back...LOL Its got to be worth it some how! If I dont start getting to sleep thru till 3 myself soon I'm going to have to give it up and start diving for bed at 9 again!

[holly]

My DD is now just over 8 weeks old and I've always had problems settling her in her cot. No problem when she's in my arms but as soon as I lower down her she knows it!

So as of today I've started using the Baby Whisperer technique and it's worked every time I've put her down! I can't believe it. Basically you hold baby in a horizontal position and pat their backs saying shhh shhhh past their ear. When they are settled (or if still in cot at this stage) you lie them on their side, place one hand on their chest holding their arms down, oh rewrap if need be first, and with the other hand pat the middle of their back quite firmly saying shhh shhhhhh close to their ear. If they're crying it should only take a minute until they stop. When bub is snoozing again roll on to back and tuck in.
You may have to stay there for 20 mins until they get into their deep sleep but usually a few shhh's will calm them if they stir.
As I said, it's worked all day for me and I'd rather spend 20 mins doing this then pacing the floor with her! Good luck.

[FunkyMonkey]

I find the only time DS wakes at night now is if he's not had enough to eat during the day or if something startles him (like me walking into the heater at 1:30 in the morning but he re-settled himself).
I'm feeding him every 3 hrs from approx 6 am then every 2 hrs from 3pm. So 6, 9, 12, 3, 5, 7 & 9 sometimes with a top up after the 9pm if he's not asleep before 10. He started doing this himself at about 10 weeks, gave me a real shock the first time. :eek:
Nappy change before 9pm feed so he doesn't think he's getting playtime again-unless he fills it of course. He doesn't seem to even need a night-time nappy as he rarely needs to be changed first thing in the morning.
He's back to sleep after his first feed of the day but just has little cat-naps for the rest of the day. I've found the longer that he goes between feeds during the day the longer we're up with him at night and the less he sleeps.

[Pixie]

did we have the same baby lol
Eliza has hit 4 months and woke up 4 times last night, I try not to do a nappy change in the night unless it's really wet, last night I just re-settled her by rocking, I am thinking of wrapping her legs as they tend to kick a bit ahh gawd where did my baby go lol I knew it would all change still can't complain she's pretty alright in all honesty!

[Karizma]

My 4mth old already has a favorite song believe it or not, everytime i sang it his face would light up and he would smile and laugh... So I sing him this song. And the wierd thing is it is in Hawiian

[Mischief]

I'm finding Oliver is getting really good at resettling himself now. I hear him wake up and he makes a bit of noise (grizzle, coo, kick kick...coo..giggle..snore) and if I dont get straight up about 5 minutes later he's happily asleep again.

If I do need to resettle him i try patting him first and shusshing....if that doesnt work I pick him up and give him a cuddle and pat his bottom, then reswaddle him, and kiss him goodnight again...then walk from the room going...ssshhhhh shhhh... :)