Education on pregnancy/birth/baby issues vs what your heart tells you is right

[Benji]

I was talking with a BH friend last night and it occurred to me that when I had my baby almost 4 years ago I just did what I "felt" was right.

Sure, I read all of the pregnancy books and baby books available to me at the time but I think that confused me more than anything :laughing: I read books by La Lache League, Robin Barker, vaccination books, I was so over reading by the end of my pregnancy.

The thing is - I knew in my heart what I was going to do anyway, I didn't need a book or a bubhubber to tell me what is right and what isn't. Who is to say the writers aren't wrong in certain aspects anyway? They don't know me nor my baby.

I read many anti-vaccination propaghanda and I decided to vaccinate my boy and myself anyway because I have a friend who can't walk thanks to polio. It just 'felt' right to me.

I wanted to have a natural drug-free vaginal birth (which unfortunately went pear-shaped) because, again, it just seemed normal to me.

Breastfeeding I didn't even need to read about, I knew it was the right thing for me and my baby. The only 'evils' of formula I'd ever heard about was Nestle and their pushing of the product in third-world countries, but I mean that's not why I didn't turn to formula.


When my birth went pear-shaped I actually freaked out A LOT because I thought I knew how birth was supposed to go. I thought I was dying! I'd read too much on a text-book birth and how women's bodies know what they're doing (apparantly).

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that many mothers are taught/told that they are doing the 'wrong' thing but how can something be wrong? What one book/scientist/doctor/other parent tells you another will tell you the opposite.

I wish I just listened to my instincts in the first place, would've saved me a heck of a lot of time!!

[kar]

I think a lot depends on your personality type. For me, I need to read as much as possible on a topic and then come to conclusions (although of course I gravitate toward info that will validate my initial feeling on something). I love reading about
things I am interested in so it is all part of the preparation and anticipation for me. The trick is knowing what to ditch when it doesn't gel with you.
And I do think there are some things that can be wrong and people would be well off to be educated about. Safe sleeping for example.

[puddinpie]

Definitely such a thing as TOO much information.

Like, when DS was a newborn and all the books said to follow a feed, play, sleep routine. So, I would put my little 10 day old baby in his play gym rather than just cuddle him which is what I really wanted to do. Then I read that play at that age meant a cuddle. At that point, I just stopped reading and did what felt right!!

I have been stressing the last couple of weeks about introducing solids: how much, when, etc. Now that I've done lots of research I feel a lot more comfortable just trying different things. Like kar, I read a lot of stuff and then when I feel informed, I do what feels natural knowing that I have picked and chosen MY WAY from the many right ways that I could do it, iykwim. This way at least I know I'm not doing anything unsafe or inappropriate.

I do wonder sometimes how DH can be so comfortable doing stuff with DS - he hasn't read ANY books on how to do things. :eek: :p Hmmm...maybe he's onto something? (Or maybe he knows he can just ask me if there's anything he doesn't know :rolleyes:)

[missie_mack]

I think you have to balance the two out IYKWIM

Nature is so supreme to human understanding that we may never understand how everything in our own body works and why. Nature gave us all instincts and provided us with a body that just knows its role in life....

However with modern society involved and modern life we all know things don't always go as planned and sometimes it helps to balance our decisions on the law of logic because a lot of our primal urges can be lost too.....

Hopefully that makes sense :o

[TripleTime]

You know what? I didnt read one book & i didnt listen to what one person said i should do. I took on what my OB said & made my own decision.

Because there is not ONE single book out there that could have told me what i was going through.

I did & do the best i can & take one day at a time.

[Pinkzy]

I think you have to balance the two out IYKWIM

Nature is so supreme to human understanding that we may never understand how everything in our own body works and why. Nature gave us all instincts and provided us with a body that just knows its role in life....

However with modern society involved and modern life we all know things don't always go as planned and sometimes it helps to balance our decisions on the law of logic because a lot of our primal urges can be lost too.....

Hopefully that makes sense :o

:iagree:

[NonnyMouse]

With both pregnancies, I read the entire library!

I read about all teh issues I was facing, from all angles, and saw a lot of opposing opinions, a lot of information that didn't seem accurate etc.

Wat it did show me though, was that there was no RIGHT way to parent. Just what's right for YOU.

I found them useful nonetheless, as without seeing ALL the opposing views I wouldn't have been able to confidently state the reasons why I do what I do, and I have knowledge on the other methods as well so I know I didn't go into anything blind or biased.

[crazymuma]

I never read a book or listened to my doctor I just did what I had to do. Hell I never even saw a doctor until around week 21 - didn't think I needed to :laughing:

While the first labour shocked me I managed to get through it.

I took this little baby home with no idea about anything but I figured it out pretty quick. I soon found what worked for me and him and kept that going - I had never even heard of CC then. I didn't know the first thing about routines, sickness etc etc but I figured it out - I now have a happy healthy 5 year old who still just cruises along.

I think too many women go over the top with information overload then when they have the baby they get stressed/depressed cause they can't do it all perfectly like the book says you should. They freak out about what food to eat - how much the baby is sleeping - if they are damaging it giving it formula - oh it goes on and on

With my second child the only thing I did differently was the immunisations. With my son I just let them give him everything but then after seeing a child close to us backtrack and eventually be diagnosed with autism straight after the 18 month needle I started reading everything I could about it and decided she didn't need every shot they had.

[Boobycino]

I read the info, take some, leave some, throw some books at the wall with disgust!

I follow my own instincts more than anything.

I also find hearing other peoples experiences and outcomes valuable. NOT "this is what I did so this is what you SHOULD do"

but someone just saying "i did this and this is what happened"

Not even a "i put my baby on the bottle and they sleep through the night" type comments, where two completely irrelevant pieces of information join together to try to convince you to take a specific course of action.

But, when mums just share their experience, without an agenda.

Thats what I find most helpful :yes:

And then I make my own decision on the end based on how I feel, and what I think.