View Full Version : listen to heart or head???
Cordelia
16-02-2010, 15:36
I have 2 kids - 3 yr old girl and 1 yr old boy. I just don't know whether to hva ea 3rd or not. If I was going to have a 3rd I would want to have a similar age gap - so get pregnant within a few months from now - but I sitll don't know if I shoudl!!
Heart says - YES, you NEED another child. I am from a family of 3 and anything less doesn't seem tlike a real family.
Head says - ARE YOU NUTS.. we can barely afford to live now. It would mean I wouldn't be able to go bacvk to work for YEARS and YEARS.
DH says - He thinks NO but if I really have my heart set on a 3rd then that's what we need to do because he doesn't want me regretting it.
IL's say - You shouldn't have a 2nd, why are you even thinking of having a 3rd.
My parents say - Do what you want. You deal with what you're given.
I say - HELP!!!!! Isn't there a quota for each of us?? How amI supposed to know?!?!?!
TeamAwesome
16-02-2010, 19:22
How are we supposed to know that really is the question, would be lovely if somethign just clicked so heart and head were synced. I wasn't sure I'd ever know, after our third I knew I wanted one more and I still wanted one more after my fourth pregnancy ended in a loss, now that I'm pregnant again I'm pretty confident in saying this will be my last. I didn't think I'd ever have that feeling and don't think it will ever really be a true 'I'm done', I've just found out I'm high risk pregnancy and have been very sick so the signs for 'this is it' have hit home.
I truly didn't feel anywhere near finished before, I felt like we a had little person missing from our family and just waiting to join us.
Make the decision for you and your family, I know I won't regret them but I know it's personal for everyone. Good luck.
we had the same decision to make in November last year. head says "you would be stupid to" hearts says "I would love to have another" .... a friend of mine said "you don't want to be 50, look back and say you wish you had another or decide when its too late that you want another one". that was the clincher for me, we're due in August :D
Now I have Roxette stuck in my head....."Listen to your heart, when it's calling for you....listen to your hear, there's nothing else you can do...."
:D
Now I have Roxette stuck in my head....."Listen to your heart, when it's calling for you....listen to your hear, there's nothing else you can do...."
:D
thanks for that "...before you tell him goodbyyyyyye"
nugglyboysmum
16-02-2010, 21:45
I say go for it!
For the last 3 years I have ummed and aahed about having another baby. Now I look at DS and wish wish wish I had of bit the bullet years ago and had another one. We are ttc#2 now and I am wishing that I can have a third close in age, but DH is not keen at all, so I can only wish, but I would take as many bubs as my DH will give me at this stage.
If your DH is willing to give you another bub, then go for it girl!
3'llhavetodo
16-02-2010, 21:49
My general rule on such a big decision is if a clear choice doesn't present itself then it's not the right time
My general rule on such a big decision is if a clear choice doesn't present itself then it's not the right time
:iagree::iagree::iagree:
Im the same as you. i want another one then i think hmm.
dh said no but after our talk yesterday we are gunna try for another one.
i look in the future and i see 3 kids. i want my 2 little ones to have another brother or sister.
so i say to you can you see yourself having 3 kids in the future if you can go for it hun.
regret is the biggest thing that will eat you up. trust me if you have another one you will never regret a child you will have WAY to much love for them.
I also have a 3yo and a 1 year old. :D
honeydew
17-02-2010, 12:27
I say go for it Cords :D So many people say they regret the baby they didn't have but have never regretted the baby they did have...
Up until recently I was one billion percent certain that this baby would be our last but now I can't stop feeling in my heart that I want to have a 4th.... crazy I know! :eek: DH is dead set against it but hopefully I'll be able to talk him around to the idea in a couple of years :fingerscrossed:
The Girls Only Club
17-02-2010, 21:39
I say go for it Cords :D So many people say they regret the baby they didn't have but have never regretted the baby they did have...
Up until recently I was one billion percent certain that this baby would be our last but now I can't stop feeling in my heart that I want to have a 4th.... crazy I know! :eek: DH is dead set against it but hopefully I'll be able to talk him around to the idea in a couple of years :fingerscrossed:
:iagree:I was dead set that this baby would be my last.Have decided I was getting my tubes tied,lately though I have been thinking that 1 more after this wouldnt hurt.Im hoping its just the hormones wreaking havoc.DH would probably run far and fast if I suggested it
Mom22boys
22-02-2010, 03:57
I also think you should go for it! :smiliedance: 3 really isn't a big number at all and seems so natural! :yes:
We were kinda decided that 2 was a nice even number but in my heart I always wanted a 3rd... and then a few months ago my hubby said... Yes lets do it... so Im on :cloud9: now and hopefully by the end of the year our little number 3 will be on the way!
I definitely agree with those who say that if its what you really want then you dont want to wake up in 20 years and live with regret. I cant even tell you how many woman Ive spoken to who say that after baby number # they just knew that that was going to be their last and that they felt content with that. So... eventually we will know when we get there! Its an important decision to make together as a couple! :valentine:
Funtimes
22-02-2010, 07:43
I was having the same dilemma quite some months ago. We knew we wanted more kids, it was just a matter of WHEN. It was a huge decision, I was umming about the age gaps and what would be best, what I could handle etc, but could not decide for the life of me.
For me fate stepped in and I fell unexpectantly pregnant, so the decision was made for me, so is a little different to your case. BUT, apart from the initial shock of the suprise with the decision being taken out of my hands, I am SO happy it happened the way it did and excited my kids will all be close in age. I dont know what I would have decided if that didn't happen, but for you I say go for it, you will deal with whatever comes and you definatly wont regret it. Good luck. :)
...
Up until recently I was one billion percent certain that this baby would be our last but now I can't stop feeling in my heart that I want to have a 4th.... crazy I know! :eek: DH is dead set against it but hopefully I'll be able to talk him around to the idea in a couple of years :fingerscrossed:
:laughing: Yep, I was sure that number 2 would be our last......:p Dh is just praying that when I say 'NO MORE' after number 5 that I actually mean it, FOREVER haha.
MamaMetcalfe
27-02-2010, 16:33
:wave: I reckon you should go for it!! There is nothing wrong with hand me downs or sausages 2/3 times a week.
I'm one of 6 and we ate alot of mince meals or sausages & we are perfectly healthy!!
My DH is dead set on only two children but I'm starting to see we 'need' a 3rd - even though we are still TTC #2!!
:laughing: Happy Bonking TTC Mummies!!
go for it you dont want to regret it later :)
3 is a good number :thumbsup:
CluckySC
27-02-2010, 23:29
We're going to start TTC no 2 in a few months, so I'm not quite at this point yet, but just laughing to myself about my DF after reading these posts. He would be perfectly happy if I wanted to have 10, because even though he's a wonderful hands on father I'm the one who does the budgets, the bedtimes, the mealtimes and the constant child entertainment! :laughing:
I think I'll be the same though. I'm thinking two, but whenever I think that I always see a third there. Then I have a night like tonight where DS took hours to get to sleep and I decide maybe I don't like children after all :p
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