she's hitting herself...

[Lateralus]

Hi ladies - I wanted to delve into the pool of wisdom & experience & see if anyone has come across this before...

DD (1) has recently started being very rough with herself... Punching and slapping herself in the face and head and banging her head on things - like when she's in her car seat she'll bang her head backwards over and over. She does all this more when she's tired. Is this something that I should be worried about? She has only been doing it since she started daycare 3 weeks ago. I asked her carers & they said it can be something toddlers do to get attention so we are 'trying' to ignore it, or distract her with something else but it can be very distressing to watch. She doesn't seem stressed out in any other way - she is feeding, eating & sleeping well.

[babybabycakes]

My besties DS does this too. he is 2 and 2 mths- be bangs his head on the tile floor most often :eek: but will also claw at his face and arms, sometimes leaving very raw scratches or he punches his head:( .
apparently it is to do with them not being able to express their temper well and can happen to a lot of bubs according to her Dr. she said that the Dr said they rarely hurt themselves really badly, but if they get frustrated they dont know how to express it and yelling isnt enough, so they can hurt themselves acting out their distress.

she was also told to keep an eye on it if it continued after 4 years old and was told that ADHD medication could help at that stage, but not to worry till then as it is quite common.

HTH's. :hugs: it must be really upsetting to watch- i know i cring when her DS does it. (on an aside- he seems to be doing it more now that he has a new baby sister- so his jealousy seems to have his temper more on edge)

[veve]

(post is totally my opinion .. I"m certainly not a specialist .. but) Quite a few kids do this .. usually its just a phase .. so dont fret yet. Many impaired kids do it too .. but its not a phase (and usually its more about lack of communication, frustration, and control for them).

In the car - is it boredom? Does she have books/ fun toys? something she doesn't usually have access to?

Personally when she does it at home, I would be getting down to her level - trying to get eye contact- and when she self harms I would gently hold her hand, clearly state 'gentle!' - and then encourage her to do a different behaviour (whether that be hitting a pillow... or clapping .. or something she CAN do in anger)..

otherwise you could (depending on her understanding) go the ignore approach and say something like ' oh no .. you're hurting yourself .. mummy is sad now, i'm leaving" and just leave the room? if she WANTS attention .. you leaving the room is going to irk her

I guess the only thing to really remember - is that with kids you cant just STOP a behaviour, because they CAN create a worse one to replace it .. you need to show them what to do instead?? does that makes sense??

[bubbleandme]

another reason could be that it's parcially lack of stimulation. simply, when bubs bang their head like that fluid in their ears move and generally creates a stimulation for them.

it's part bored/part tiredness - and fighting it/part attention seeking

remember though, attention seeking isn't always a bad thing, kids are programed to seek attention, otherwise they wouldn't survive in the wild..

maybe try doing lots (because thier appetite for attenion is huge lol) of positive attention to her and see if it lessens? she may be feeling a bit anxious about the separtion she feels from going to daycare too.

[JabberJaw]

My Eldest DD use to stuff like that ALOT, had a constant forehead bruise from head banging. She is 13 next month and normal :D

I took her to the GP and he said she was not being stimulated enough and she had no other way to express herself. He also did believe she had a higher than normal IQ by doing a little test on her using blocks and things. Anyhow, i joined a couple of mothers groups, took her to childcare for a few hours twice a week and tried more to stimulate her, and as she got older and learnt to talk it subsided.

Now she is 13, she doesn't bang her head, she screams :laughing::laughing: (i think i preferred the head banging)

[Bell & Bug]

There are a number of reasons why they do it. For fun, for attention, coz they are tired (believe it or not some babies bang their heads to soothe themselves to go to sleep) or even sometimes because they have a ear infection.
DD did this for a while. We ignored it, she got bored of it, and stopped.