View Full Version : Being judged about BFing?
I'm not sure if I'm just being hormonal or if my IL's are even ruder that I first thought.
Last night after I made the effort to take my pregnant butt and my two tired littlies to see my neice sing my BIL made a smart comment about the length of time I BF for. At the time I was gobsmacked and didn't come back with a witty quip like I ususally would have of.
I was talking to my other BIL's girlfriend and she said she'd like to have drinks with me. ( A huge compliment considering she's 21 and I'm 34;)). I replied, sure, when I'm not pregnant or BFing. She said "oh, so it won't be long then?" My BIL says "But she breast feed until they're 10!"
I was and still am really upset. I BF my first son for only 6 weeks because i didn't educate myself and gave up after it was hypothesised, mostly by said IL's, that he wasn't getting enough milk from me.
My 2nd DS self weaned on the 2nd Dec last year at 19 months. I think he would still be feeding now if I hadn't of fallen pregnant. I am super proud of this. I love that I gave him this great start in life not to mention the money we saved.
From the time he was born I got the whole, he's going to be spoilt, he'll sleep with you forever, he's going to be a sooky lala mummies boy and the one I almost hit someone for "When you gonna pop your titty out his mouth", yes the fools love Major Payne.
H is a confident, loud and healthy little man. He got sick for the first time a couple of weeks ago and far from being a mummies boy he would only take panadol from daddy. It has obviously done him the world of good to have this start in life.
SO why do they feel the need to judge me? Especially about something as natural as BFing? I never judged them for bottle feeding, even when one of the reasons was so SIL could go to bingo.
I'm not even sure why this has bothered me so much.
Sorry, I got a little carried away:o. If you've read this far Thanks!
R
Let it slide like water off a ducks back.
They sound like uneducated, ignorant people. Why let their obviously ill-informed opinions upset you.
You are their mother & you know best.
My IL's wouldn't dare. Probably because I'd bite back "where do you get off saying a f..... comment like that?"
bronny-jane
13-02-2010, 15:02
i love that line in major payne:laughing:
i just stopped bf my son as my milk dried up from being pg, he was 2 when i stopped, before that i only bf one of my other children for 2 weeks... im still so proud of myself, and you should be too...
when i first had ds i was told i needed to top him up with formula because he was on the breast too long.. hmm he was 2 weeks old and headed for a growth spurt... but i knew better, and we never had any issues with supply...
but i have copped some stupid comments about it, but i just think those people are idiots:D
i wouldnt worry about them,.... next time if they say something suggest that if they were bf they may not be so stupid now:laughing:
MrsTwith3
13-02-2010, 15:12
i love that line in major payne:laughing:
i just stopped bf my son as my milk dried up from being pg, he was 2 when i stopped, before that i only bf one of my other children for 2 weeks... im still so proud of myself, and you should be too...
when i first had ds i was told i needed to top him up with formula because he was on the breast too long.. hmm he was 2 weeks old and headed for a growth spurt... but i knew better, and we never had any issues with supply...
but i have copped some stupid comments about it, but i just think those people are idiots:D
i wouldnt worry about them,.... next time if they say something suggest that if they were bf they may not be so stupid now:laughing:
:iagree: I was going to say the same thing as BJ about them being so stupid as they obviously werent bf.
You are doing the best thing for your kids by bf them. Feel proud vand dont let morons like that get to you.
Boobycino
13-02-2010, 15:41
Yeah, well... my inlaws think exclusively breast feeding beyond 6 WEEKS is inappropriate. Apparently my FIL bought me a can of S26, but my MIL had the good sense to tell him not to give it to me! My god, i'd have wanted to throw it at his bleedin head!
I jusrt absolutely LOVE that they call formular "NORMAL milk".... I should start calling it ARTIFICIAl milk around them - not to offend any formular feeders, but, just to drive home to them, that whats in my breasts is the NORMAL and NATURAL milk and what they want him on is man-made, rather than mummy-made!
My BIL's girlfriend also makes the odd comment, like how SHE couldn't imagine breast feeding, isn't it really painful and uncomfortable? and makes it quite obvious she thinks breast feeding is just a bit.... errr... unnatural....
:rolleyes:huh?
bubba is nearly 15 months old and its nearly water off a ducks back. Been long enough bein judged, I'm a bit desensitized now:yes:
oh i get asked when im going to wean ds all the time, and he is only 7 months old :eek:
He was going in for an operation and the hospital staff said i need to bring his formula in with me when we go in for the op, i just love how they assumed i wasnt bf
Hollywood
13-02-2010, 15:54
Well they would just die if they met me, breastfeeding my 3 year old, oh and cosleeping too. You go girl, don't worry about them, what a fabulous effort to BF for so long :)
luvmyboys
13-02-2010, 16:00
You should all be so proud of yourselves for not caving in to outside pressure and giving your children the best possible start to life. My mum is extremely supportive and was actually the opposite, she kept telling me not to stop, and my IL wouldn't even think of questioning my decisions, but I had a few other people around me asking if I was STILL feeding, that stopped whe he reached about 2. You couldn't have paid me enough money to give that up, it's absolutely priceless and whats more it's so good for them.
People are odd, aren't they? I was once at a gathering of people, DS was 7 months old. I mentioned that he had reflux and a woman said "have you tried anti reflux formula?" I said "No, I breastfeed". She said (and yes, I'm not kidding) "OH. Why?"
:confused::confused::confused:
Never really been able to get my head around that conversation.
Anyway, I bf DS until he was 21 months. I got very little flack for it, but when he self-weaned I told my mum and she said "Oh, at last!". Again - :confused:
Good on you for continuing for so long. Ignore the comments, they're silly.
Boobycino
13-02-2010, 16:30
You know we cannot win...
if we were FF, we'd get just as many 'comments' and judgement as if we BF, odds are from the same people who feel the need to judge that we BF.
I just pull out the old 'well, the world health organisation recommends a minimum of two years and THEY are the experts!'
mum of annaliese
13-02-2010, 19:33
people are strange. I bf DD until she self weaned at around 10 months. I would bf her when home and express so DH could feed her while i was at work. I was very lucky and had heaps of milk - could have fed the whole street!:laughing:
The amount of comments like "why would you do that, your boobs are going to be around your knees soon" and "but bottle feeding is so much easier":confused::confused: - cant remember sterilising my boobs or warming bottles for the 3am feed!
they are just ill-informed and you should let them know that you dont appreciate their comments and they have just been sucked into the advertising that makes people believe that bottle feeding is better and healthier.
Be strong and be proud!
SpecialPatrolGroup
13-02-2010, 20:01
This is not quite on-topic, but in a conversation about feeding once, I heard a woman say "If I was supposed to breastfeed my baby, I would have been born a cow"!?!?!?!?!?!? Oh the bizarre thoughts that some people have.
Congrats for having a great feeding relationship and for doing what you KNOW is right for your bub.
Hollywood
13-02-2010, 20:09
This is not quite on-topic, but in a conversation about feeding once, I heard a woman say "If I was supposed to breastfeed my baby, I would have been born a cow"!?!?!?!?!?!?
:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:
OMG, that is just too funny! Yeah, coz cows have breasts, don't they :rolleyes: Certainly does take all sorts of people to make the world go 'round :yes:
cmd'smum
13-02-2010, 20:19
People are odd, aren't they? I was once at a gathering of people, DS was 7 months old. I mentioned that he had reflux and a woman said "have you tried anti reflux formula?" I said "No, I breastfeed". She said (and yes, I'm not kidding) "OH. Why?"
:confused::confused::confused:
Yeah Bron, why on earth would you do something like BF? :p
to the OP, tell them to educate themselves about BF!!
Annabella
13-02-2010, 20:19
I think its a bit harsh to say these people are stupid etc, I have always gotten heaps of comments and questions about how long I BF for (and the longest has been 16 months!), my MIL the other day was relaying a story to me about how her niece should be putting her 3-4 month old daughter on the bottle by now, and how her mum (MIL's sister) doesn't even care that shes still BF *shaking her head*... I just nod and go hmmm.....
The are just uneducated, still in that old school way of thinking. Lucky we know better, hey :)
cmd'smum
13-02-2010, 20:21
This is not quite on-topic, but in a conversation about feeding once, I heard a woman say "If I was supposed to breastfeed my baby, I would have been born a cow"!?!?!?!?!?!?
:eek::laughing:
I think it is appalling that your in-laws dare say anything like that to you. How rude! I have been told since day dot to put DS on formula by my mother and grandmother - how is it any of their business anyway?? Then when he had just turned 4 months my mother asks if he is on solids yet......um no, he's 4 months old, 6 months is the recommended time to start - she says "Some babies need more", yes well he's not ready thanks, my child I know what he needs.
Thanks everyone for your replies.
I always knew that I had done nothing wrong but it hurt to realise that they are judging me for something that I am so proud of, that has helped form my child into the beautiful confident little man he is today and that I've never forced on anyone else.
I always knew I wanted to BF but the co-sleeping and baby wearing was just what worked for us. I've never pushed these values onto them but if they ask I'm always willing to explain how and worked for us. My DS1 was a completely opposite baby, he preferred to sleep by himself in complete silence ( he still does ) and he always needs alone time.
Once again, thanks for all your well thought out (and funny) replies. I'll be sure to use them!
R
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