View Full Version : not so colourful words coming from their mouths
ok so awhile ago, coop kept telling me to p!ss off. he has really slowed down telling me that but now he keeps calling me a c**t(sure you can work that out now) and also giving me the finger(he does his pointer finger though as dont think he knows how to use the middle one). its really getting hurtful. i know he doesnt know what he is saying but he is saying it because he kept hearing it.
when he was telling me to p!ss off, i would say you want me to go away. he would then say yeah so i think that helped with that. however i am stuck on what to use for the C word. anyone got any ideas? how can i also get him to stop using the finger as well? he is still flipping off the F word but thats not as much anymore either which is good but using the C word and constantly giving me the finger, well thats really really hurtful to me esp as its a word i dont like and anyone who uses it, i pull up and tell them not to use it.
:eek: Where did he oick that up from?? I'd be having a chat to the people looking after him.. :shame:
Hmm as for what to say.. it really depends on the kid, some kids will see the reaction and big deal you make out of it and keep doing it. My dd usually stops as soon as I tell her it's a adult word and only adults can use it. If she does it again I just keep telling her "adult world ONLY, DO NOT use that word" until she gets it, and I usually never hear the bad word again (not that she has said many) The reason I say that is they are bound to hear the word again at some point from someone, but they will hopefully know it's only an adult word and only adults can say it iykwim? Rather than a naughty word, which they would then be thinking "well why is that person being so naughty" .. sorry hope that made sense :sleeping:
i try not to use the naughty word as i dont really like it. the people he was staying with, i cant get in touch with at all. i dont know what is happening there at all as he will now be going to someone elses house on the weekend until i get centrelink sorted. i know he wouldnt of picked it up from daycare as i am sure the boys(his room is mainly boys, girls only go one or 2 days a week and there is only 2 of them) would of been pulled up on it by now. its just really doing my head in.
The quickest way I managed to get my kids to not say very naughty words was to substitute my own words, like "My Goodness!" or ""Golly Gosh", then every time I said it look shocked with myself, as if I'd said the naughtiest word around (I even got my DH to tell me off once for saying it to cement this).
Little kids love to say naughty words (and they're too young to fully understand why they shouldn't) and so my lot figured I was doing something incredibly naughty and before too long they too were saying my much more acceptable words, but in their minds they were being very naughty and devious.:D
I think it depends on the child and what 'works' for them. Ds is very sensitive to people's feelings so I use the approah of 'that word really hurts Mummy and makes me very sad when you use that word. Can you please not say that word because it makes Mummy upset', and also sometimes add in a bit of the good ol 'naughty word' thing, as this is taught at school. It's not saying that he/others can't use that word but it is just an upsetting word. I also pull up others when they say not nice words and only use 'Gosh' (so cute coming out of their mouths), 'Oopsey Daisey', and 'Good Golly' and such words.
:iagree: Gosh is pretty cute coming out of a little person.
Sos "uh oh" and "oh no"
Thats so terrible though that coop is not only behaving this way, but that he's been exposed to that kind of language!
It sounds like you've had a very difficult journey together. I hope things will be more settled for the both of you soon.
Have you tried telling him that those are not nice words and that it makes Mummy sad when he says them?
that is pretty full on.
i have the same question as Amanda.
They are 'No No Words' in my Inlaws family.. so if one of the children say it, we say its a No No word and only for adults we do not want to hear it again.
But Try explaining to him that it hurts mummy and makes her sad.
Try not to react too much or get upset.
Explain to him that those are adult words and are unacceptable in your house. Give him alternatives - gosh never worked in this house but holy snapin duck poo did!!
Also my kids tell me I love you but I am angry with you so please leave me alone for awhile - this is what I say to them when I need a timeout as well.
We have a punching bag here that my son uses to get his anger out - he is never allowed to direct it at us with anything but calm words - but the punching bag takes a hiding some days. I must admit I have had a few hits on it as well.
I guess he could be angry at you in a lot of ways as his life has been a little all over the place (or so it seems) so this is his only way to let you know he isn't happy. Don't take it personally
Talk to him - ask him why he is angry at you. Maybe if he knows he can talk about his feelings he will rather than lashing out with words/violence.
I would be having a chat to the daycare and just finding out if he is doing this there as well.
Well I wouldn't take it to heart. I would ignore it and focus on soemthing else. Or I would say, "That's not a nice way to talk, at home we say please leave me alone."
Just remember he is just mimmicking what he has heard else where. He doesn't understand the gravity of what what he is saying.
i use mummy is sad when he does things i dont like such as swearing as he hates mummy being sad but its just coming out of his mouth every few mins. why are they such parrots and repeat everything they shouldnt?
Oh honey that is awful, that must make you feel horrible hearing him talk like that. :hugs:
I agree with the PP I would definitely be trying to find out where he has heard those words before. I can only remember DS saying the F word once and that was after he had been visiting his bio dad when he was 3..and he told me his bio dad said it to him. Well I called bio dad up and we had a huge argument and that is literally our last conversation as he decided dealing with me was too much hard work! :rolleyes:
Anyway you need to find out where he has heard it. DS is almost 8 and we still don't allow him to be exposed to swearing in our presence. Obviously we aren't stupid and realise that things get said in the playground etc and we can't always be there but we can control what he hears when he is with us. We don't swear when he is within earshot, and we pull our friends up if they do. We also don't play songs or watch programs that have any swearing in them (well not until he is asleep anyway!).
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