Abortion for mental health

[Myfanwy]

Has anyone had an abortion because of their mental health ?

I'm 5 weeks pregnant with no.5 and contemplating an abortion because of my mental health.

I have a phobia of dying during childbirth. The other reason I am contemplating having an abortion for my mental health is that every time I have given birth a close family member has died. I am so petrified if I keep the baby something will happen to my other children. It's illogical but it's such a horrible coincidence that I have given birth four times and have experienced four deaths of people close to me during the pregnancies.

Am I the only one or is there someone else on here that if not having gone through with it has at least considered having an abortion because of their mental state ?

[luvmyboys]

oh hun:hugs:I have seen your other post but haven't read it yet but I would strongly suggest you seek counseling. If this baby is wanted but you have fears about your pregnancy and giving birth then there are people who can help you. If you want this baby and go down this path then it really becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because you would loose a loved one. If you don't want another child then you still need to have some counseling to make sure this other issues isn't clouding your judgment. It's never an easy decision to make but don't make it harder on yourself, seek counseling.

[Pax]

Have you considered asking your doctor for the 6 free psychological sessions? Perhaps a good talk to your doctor might help you find some peace.

I have strange thoughts at times as well. I think sometimes that i cause my children to get hurt because I am constantly fearful they might get hurt.

Having an abortion might just make your mental health problems worse, because you may feel even worse about yourself for doing so.

When it comes to irrational fears and thoughts, its best not to act impulsively, but to seek out a good ear to listen to you.

Some of my biggest regrets in life are those done while thinking irrationally and acting impulsively :no:

So my biggest advice would be to ask for some help from your doc. :hugs:

[V8]

Hey there, i would think possibly counselling might be a good option before you decide to terminate, you are really only early on so you have time to decide.

If you have fears surrounding childbirth and death of family because you are pregnant it seems kinda counter productive to terminate a pregnancy as that's another death right?

I am supportive of those making choices with their own reproductive health but i think maybe if you got some help first it may help you base your decisions on rationale rather than fear. :hugs:

[Freya]

Hey there, i would think possibly counselling might be a good option before you decide to terminate, you are really only early on so you have time to decide.

If you have fears surrounding childbirth and death of family because you are pregnant it seems kinda counter productive to terminate a pregnancy as that's another death right?

I am supportive of those making choices with their own reproductive health but i think maybe if you got some help first it may help you base your decisions on rationale rather than fear. :hugs:

Totally agree with Vee.

Good luck to you xox

[Myfanwy]

Having an abortion might just make your mental health problems worse, because you may feel even worse about yourself for doing so.


I have contemplated this.I have already had one abortion due to rhesus negativity. I feel that I would be worse mentally keeping the baby than actually aborting it.


If you have fears surrounding childbirth and death of family because you are pregnant it seems kinda counter productive to terminate a pregnancy as that's another death right?

I don't think of it as another death because I don't see it as a child until if I felt the first kick. I think of the embryo more as an unwanted growth like a wart.

Thanks for all your thoughts and ideas. I'm going to the gp again today and want to make my decision then. I don't want to leave it for too much longer as when I had the ultrasound last week it already had a heartbeat.

[RoarsomeMum]

Your feelings on abortion are clear, and that will help tremendously in emotional recovery..

the thing that concerns me is the irrational thoughts.. As in the "deaths" being caused by our pregnancy's, or the fear of dying in childbirth. (not that it does not happen! - but I am pretty sure you take greater risks every single day..)

The abortion will not solve the greater issue of your emotional health.. and it worry's me it may actually create bigger problems.

If you abort due souly on the irrational fears, you leave a HUGE open space for more to shift in.. such as the coincidence of 2 people you know dying and you being able to say "OMG, I am being punished!" My abortion caused this.. (even though it has no power to do that) We anxiety ridden people have an uncanny ability to make everything our fault. - I have spent the better half of 2 decades fighting the thoughts that my termination caused my infertility.. It didn't.. I know that intellectually.. just as you know your pregnancy's did not cause other peoples deaths.. but those thoughts and fears are real and damn hard to fight..

Hope the GP visit goes well.

[luvmyboys]

Myfanwy, if you are in the area you have put in your public info the GP's in this area have very good access to Psychology services within the GP Access system, your GP should refer you to one of this services urgently, if he/she does not or has not I would suggest you seek another gp who will refer you. If you would like more info on this it is here (http://www.gpaccess.com.au/index.cfm?fuseaction=programs&fusesubaction=article&documentid=81&articleID=97).

[jellea88]

I have had to recently abort because of my mental health. It was extremely hard for DP and I to come to this decision as there is nothing we want more than to expand our family. But I have just completed uni and was looking forward to starting work and my mental and emotional health at home is beginning to deteriorate as I am not the SAHM type.

If I had gone through with the pregnancy there is a very high chance I would have harmed if not just myself than also my children.

Big :hugs: I know from experience it is the hardest decision to go through.

[Fuchsia!]

Your feelings on abortion are clear, and that will help tremendously in emotional recovery..

the thing that concerns me is the irrational thoughts.. As in the "deaths" being caused by our pregnancy's, or the fear of dying in childbirth. (not that it does not happen! - but I am pretty sure you take greater risks every single day..)

The abortion will not solve the greater issue of your emotional health.. and it worry's me it may actually create bigger problems.

If you abort due souly on the irrational fears, you leave a HUGE open space for more to shift in.. such as the coincidence of 2 people you know dying and you being able to say "OMG, I am being punished!" My abortion caused this.. (even though it has no power to do that) We anxiety ridden people have an uncanny ability to make everything our fault. - I have spent the better half of 2 decades fighting the thoughts that my termination caused my infertility.. It didn't.. I know that intellectually.. just as you know your pregnancy's did not cause other peoples deaths.. but those thoughts and fears are real and damn hard to fight..

Hope the GP visit goes well.

I agree 100%

Your fears, whilst seems valid to you are really irrational. I understand and i have suffered really irrational fears a few years ago, i finally got past them and now i regret so much over the last few years.

i would worry that when these irrational fears pass, you will look back and regret your abortion which could then lead to much worse fears.

Do you want this baby?

[Looshkin]

Myfanwy Please seek out professional counseling.
No one on this forum is really qualified to be counseling you over this issue or helping you to make your decision either way nor doing anything other than offering support.

Please contact http://www.childrenbychoice.org.au/ or one of the non bias hotlines to talk if you want to talk to someone anonymously over the phone.
or ask your GP for referral to see someone qualified in non bias counseling to support you in and through whatever decision you make and the fears you have and support you in a safe way to ensure you make the decision that is right for you.
All the best. :hugs:

[Myfanwy]

I know the thought of having another close family member die because of me having another baby is irrational.

It is still hard to deal with. Unfortunately it was made harder after birth (and death) number three by my family. My mum, grandma, mil and aunt all pointed out that every time I had given birth someone in our family had died. My mum and grandma asked me not to give birth again as they didn't want anyone else dying. I fell pregnant with no.4 afterwards and my grandfather died.I could have dealt with it if it was only me that noticed the horrible coincidence.

I do want the baby but I want to be mentally well more. My dh wants the baby more than me. I feel it's my body and sanity on the line so it's my decision at the end of the day. I'm just terrible at making decisions.

[RoarsomeMum]

Freaking oath it's you choice :hugs:and a bloody heavy one to make (especially when your not good at making decisions..)

I am just not so sure you can't have both.. and hope you are able to be referred to some-one who can help you make the decision you want to make with all the information available.

It's bloody scary to be controlled by fear.

[V8]

That's really heartbreaking facing the decision to terminate is an awful decision it sounds as though maybe you could work through the issues though if you give yourself a chance, you do have 8 or so more months to get used to it. I just worry that having the termination could tip you more over the edge and you never forget once its done. :(

[Elijahs_Mum]

there is some really good advice here, I hope u can make the right decesion for your self

[luvmyboys]

Myfanwy if you are in the hunter area please ask your dr to refer you to the Perinatal Psychiatrist at Longworth Avenue, Wallsend. There is a wonderful psychiatrist there named Eilish Mackenzie (I think the spelling is correct) she can help you. Their ph.no is (02) 4924 6055.