View Full Version : Anyone with only boys....
we have recently found out that we are expecting our 4th boy. We did try to sway the odds, by doing the Shettles method, but it seems it wasnt to be for us...
I am still trying to come to terms that I will never have a girl, as this is def our last. I just always thought that I would have a girl someone along the line. So no ballet lessons for us, and I am feeling quite sad about it, but I am trying to be strong for my DS1 who cried when I told him he was getting another brother, he so desperately wanted a sister.
So what I would like to know is that is there anyone that was dissapointed they didnt get their girl, but once the child was born quite happy and at peace with their boy only family??
I've been waiting to hear your news and massive :hugs: to you...
I feel for you...I really do.
4 boys will be wonderful and boistrous and loads of fun!!
........but you have every right to mourn the little girl you are never going to have...(and don't let anyone tell you different!)
Gender disappointment is a very real issue yet it is SO taboo.
We should be SO happy with a healthy baby...but the truth goes much deeper than that.
I have two boys and lost a little girl in between the two of them.
I ache for her everyday and can honestly say the thought of never having a girl scares me.
I know I want another baby but I need to be a peace first with it being another boy.
My point is, don't feel BAD for feeling this way, it's normal and very very common.
Taake some time out to talk about your feelings, I hope you have someone you can discuss it with who will support you and then get ready for a house full of footy boots, wrestling and brotherly love!!
And you get to use one of your FABULOUS boys names you have!
(by the way my DS2 is absolutely the light of my life I can never imagine not having him and would NEVER replace him with a girl! I just hope I have one, one day...)
:hugs::hugs::hugs: I have 2 boys and am having my third boy.. I thought I would b more disapointed but I;m not, Im over the moon means saving on clothes toys and stuff.. However I do feel the pain of wanting to go to ballet lessons and do the whole pig tales n stuff... But at the end of the day as long as they r healthy thats all that matters (sorry i kno u'll get sick of people saying that to u) Sorry i couldnt b of more help...
I have 2 boys. When I was pregnant with my 1st, i so wanted a girl so badly, when he was born and announced that he was a boy i was actually devastated. I suffered gender disapointment really bad. It was on day 2 that i snapped out of it.
When i was pregnant with my 2nd, again i thought it will be a girl this time, it had to be. I decided to find out so if it was a boy i could get my head around it and not be like how i was with my 1st. When i found out it was a boy i was actually ok about it!
Having 2 boys is so much fun, and i absolutely wouldn't swap it for the world now. Im actually really glad i had 2 boys.
But I still want more children in the future so its easy for me to say i don't care. I think if i had another 2 more boys i would be upset and feel how you do as well. I long for a girl.
Would it be possible maybe in the future you might change your mind and try for another one?
im the same as Sara
i found out with my second cause i really wanted a girl
bu he was a boy
i do love my boys
and i love how they are good friends and are always playing together all the time
i am finding out what this one is too cause i want to know now whether its a girl or another boy
so i can come to terms with it sooner and not be disappointed at his birth iykwim
i so want a girl
but i have a feeling this one is another boy too
i think im destined to just have boys
although having a boy would be easier i already have boy clothes here and know what im doing with a boy
i just so want a girl
I don't want anymore boys because my toilet already smells like a urinal! :laughing:
I have 4 boys.
I really really cried when I found out J2 (my 4th) was another boy...
but you know what.... 16months on, and expecting number 5 (boy or girl, we find out next thursday... I'm thinking boy)
I don't really mind what we have.
Boys are awesome really. It took me a while to get over the gender dissapointment with J2... but honestly, he's gorgeous and there's no way I'd swap him.
And then I think.... what if I get a girl, and she's a really hard baby, and then the whole time I'm thinking "if only you'd been a boy I bet you would have been different'
AND... all my boys are great little mates.
AND... the world NEEDS good men.. so I'm proud to give 4 (maybe 5) good men to the world. :D
It's full on though :dizzy:
Oh Sarah, we have have 3 boys and are yet to see what surprise arrives in about 2 weeks... pink or blue... I'm guessing blue, but a girl would be lovely... Like you, this is our final baby and if it's not a girl, well... sigh... I'll be putting the dreams of piggy tails and ribbons to rest. I have two neices who I spoil with PINK PINK PINK every birthday/Christmas and get my girl fix whenever we go there to visit... 4 boys is very Malcolm in the Middle I think and tbh it's not going to be so bad having 4 boys and my husband putting mummy on a pedestal... No, there's no ballet or dancing, but there is plently of footy, swimming, scouts and all that... And there is no frills - the closest I come to frills is spiking the twins' hair before school (which I do meticulously with a spray bottle and hair product :laughing:!)
We didnt find out because well, we enjoy the surprise, and because we cant change it! I know EVERYONE is hanging for us to have a girl and they wont be able to stop themselves expressing disappointment "for us"... the crappest bit I'm not looking forward to is being constantly asked for the next decade or so "so, when are you going to try for a girl?" this is it, this is our last baby, so if it's a boy, well, so be it... They are easy to dress, they are rough and tumble and very loving and caring and I agree with OJandMe, the world needs good men and I'm pleased to be raising 3 maybe 4 for the ladies out there in the future! Also, Jaxcoop, the kids bathroom constantly smells like a mens urinal :rolleyes: no matter what I do! The target at the back of the loo did help somewhat...
It's ok to be disappointed you wont have a girl, dont let anyone tell you it's not. I will be a little sad when bubs is born if it's another boy, but I know I'll perk up as soon as I get my first cuddle :cloud9:
awww Sarah. I do know how you feel. I desperately wanted a girl and I have my two boys. of course once you have them, you wouldn't want to change them but i definitly felt major disappointment with both after fidning out. by the time bubs was born, the idea sunk in.
we tried the Shettles method this time around as well and my feeling is that this one is a boy too. infact i'm convinced it will be a boy. i hope that by the time the ultrasound comes around, i can be in a headspace where i won't be dissapointed again by the results. i have pretty much accpeted another boy but it would be so so so lovely to be suprised with a girl.
anyway, i know your pain. i keep saying this is out last but i can't yet rule out having another one to have a girl.
I've got only two boys... but I've felt that way as well both times because I only ever wanted a girl.
*BUT* I love my boys to bits and am very glad that they are here... I wouldn't change them for girls now.
We may be trying to get pregnant again soon and as much as I would LOVE a little girl, I've already accepted that we will most likely end up with another Bundle of Blue.
You know my story and history. But now, I know my family is complete with 3 boys. But it really doesn't stop the longing for a daughter. I don't think i will ever feel right about that. I absolutely adore my 3rd boy. He is an absolute gem, and i love him to pieces. I wouldn't ever swap him for a girl... but i still wish i had a girl as well as having him.
I have sent you a PM chickadee.
Remember that even though people will tell you that your feelings are wrong, That you should be greatful you have a healthy child etc etc (like you aren't... of course you are! you just wish it was a healthy girl!) your feelings are really valid, and the only way to get through it is to find people who really do understand, and talking it through with them to see that you are not alone.
3 boys here... I am still longing for a girl, and I did experience a twinge of sadness with the birth of my second and third boys (didn't know before birth either time) but it was only a moment, and then you start to get to know the baby as a person first and foremost, and the sex ceased to matter.
With the third baby we actually all cracked up laughing when we realised we had another boy, it was a good moment really :)
Wouldn't be without my three boys, but a girl would still be nice, not gonna happen I don't think though... ;)
Take care, it can take a while to get your head around. :hugs:
:hugs: I totally get it. Although I have 2 boys.
All I wanted right from the start was a girl too. First time I accepted a boy pretty quickly as I knew I had the chance to try for a girl next round. We were only going to have 2 kids. But I had such bad gender disappointment after DS2 (that lasted, quite strongly, for up to 7 months after he was born - even though I loved him to bits) I just HAD to try one more time.
I convinced DH that if we ended up with another boy I would be fine. Luckily for us we are expecting a girl. But honestly if it was another boy I have no idea how I would have coped really.
I totally get the wanting ballet classes, dresses, shopping etc that comes with a little girl. Now we have one, I am fully expecting that when she is born they are going to tell me it is a boy!!! I just can't believe it till I see her.
I said to DH lucky he managed to give me a girl or we'd be going back for a 4th!!!
:hugs: I know it is hard to come to terms with.
yep i totally know where you are coming from, i am expecting my sixth boy and i wont lie i was a bit disappointed when we found out this time and with our last ds but i honestly couldnt imagine our last ds being a girl. He's just precious and makes me melt every time i look at him.
With us there is never another chance that we will have more kids for many reasons and speaking for myself i can say i wasnt disappointed we are having another boy just the fact that i will never get to experience raising a girl if that makes any sense at all.
So all in all i am thrilled with all of our little boys but felt like i was missing out on the mother daughter bond that i see going on with my neices and sils iykwim?
I am at peace with it now and totally excited lol i am only 27 weeks but im starting to wash all his clothing and get things organised and together for him, we cant wait!!
If u ever wanna chat just pm me, i know what you're going through xxx
I know how you feel, I have 7 sons, 6 of them under the age of 6 and I was sooo longing for my last bub to be a girl, but it was not meant to be, you will love your new bub just the same I'm sure.:flowerz:
Like I said to you in another thread, we had pretty much decided we were done having kids when we had DS4. I was devastated that I didn't have a girl - but 8 months on and I was content and happy to have 4 boys(sometimes I'd get that little pang of sadness that I wouldn't have a daughter).
My boys are just adorable and so loving, I wouldn't change a thing.
I got the implanon put in, hubby is too young to get the snip they reckon. Weeks later I was feeling crook and on a whim did a pregnancy test and I found out I was pregnant again. I cried, I was convinced I was going to have yet another boy and I had just come to terms with not having any more babies! I think I cried every day because I didn't want to know what I was having, but at the same time I did want to know. I was just scared of feeling the disappointment again.
They got a look from both angles and said it was a girl. Since then I've been worried about losing her or what if there's something wrong, iykwim.
I have one boy and I have gender disappointment from him :( I have always wanted a daughter and we decided to find out the sex of bub so that I could get used to the thought of having a boy if that was the case. Turns out I was very excited when they told us it was a boy. But for the last few years, every now and then I look at him and wonder how different life would be if he were a girl?
We are TTC again this year and everyone is well aware that I am hoping for a girl, however I would also adore another little boy. I am hoping for 3 kids in total so i figure i have 2 more shots at a girl. If i end up with 3 boys I will feel so blessed, but if i get a girl or two i will be just a little bit extra eccstatic IYKWIM.
Please dont be hard on yourself for feeling ender disappointment, it is so common, it just doesnt get talked about.
I can soooo relate to how you feel........All i can add to what the other ladies have said is give yourself time,time to grieve,time to come to terms,it may not even happen before bub comes.....I have 4 boys and had HUGE gender disappointment with my last......In fact he is 5 months and tho i adore him Sarah ,i still grieve for the daughter i'll never have...and to be honest there will always be a small part of me which will be sad forevermore i think........The feelings have lessened,and i must admit no 4 has made it a lot easier to live with as he is the bestest baby[and cute to boot]......I didn't feel the love straight away,and i have issues with my sil who got a girl after 3 boys a month before me,and i cannot bond with my niece....i feel extremely bad about this ,but why her and not me.....I have guilt,rage,tears but mainly sadness as i do believe we as mothers miss out in an all male household...anyhoo this topic is still so touchy for me....one of my bugbears about this is that this is the only place i can talk about my feelings regarding gender disappointment not one person asks me how i feel about it now.........I feel for you Sarah i really do,why is it so hard for us to get what seems so easy for others.......:hugs:
Please girls never say NEVER. :no:
I was the one who has handed that diet out to so many on bubhub. After Ds2 I cried more for the fact that DH said no more, the chance of not ever having a girl I cried for. Then came DS3, he became easier to deal with because deep down I thought I was just a boy maker. DH was done he was one of 4 boys so deep down I knew this was it for me.
Sounds crazy but I went to a psychic he said you will have another and it will be a boy.I actiually went to a few psychics waiting for the right answer but no one gave me the right answer. I was heartbroken so researched this gender swaying and went full hog, Temping, dieting etc for 1 mth we tried the following month and I was pregnant.
Honestly I think at the end of the day if I didn't get 1 boy in the group or 1 girl I would have longed for that sex it's just my make up.
So Sarah like everyone says you will adore that baby boy and you will look back and won't be able to imagine your life without him. Your boys will be these georgous things in your house fighting off girls who chase them I tell my boys those girls have got to go through me first don't forget that!!! Boys adore their mums and that will be a lovely thing you will have. Your children have chosen you as their mum I honestly believe that I think mine were sent to me too.
You too will raise good men for the world God knows we need them.
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