Help I feel like I'm drowning!!!

[fozzie]

How do all you wonderful Mummies do it. I have 4 children and I just can't cope I have no help no family around they are all overseas. I'm falling apart. I don't want to go anywhere it's all too hard the youngest two are driving me batty. DD just squeals all the time it's ear splitting and DS3 has a speech delay so just shouts at me. I don't know what I think I'll gain from this post but I just need to get it out. I'm a mess. :crying:

[Betty Boop]

Hi fozzie
:wave::hugs:Sorry. you are having a bad time
Can you get out of the house? I know you said its too hard but is there anywhere you can take your 2 young ones when the others are at school to burn some toddler energy? Local park, public pool (little paddling pool)?
I myself these days would rather stay at home, and my days are reasonably structured time wise as I have 2 that still have day sleeps that I have to fit around the school runs. But back in the day when I had my first 2, oh I used to go batty at home and found it easier being out and about for part of the day.
Its hard when you dont have family around - we have but we are very independent as our parents all still work - but it is nice to know they are there when you need them.
Is daycare/pre school an option for you little ones, maybe just a day a week to give you a little break? On a Monday I only have my 4 month old at home and its bliss - gives me time to do a hobby or just do nothing!
I proably havent helped at all here, but I hope you start having a better time soon. Im sure you are doing a great job:thumbsup:

[shellsbubs]

:hugs:Sorry to hear you are feeling drained - it is a huge job and responsibility being a Mum.

Like Betty Boop suggested is there maybe a daycare you could use so you could get a little break?? Are there any social activities you could take the 2 little ones to??

Hope things start to get better and by all means express how you are feeling - many of us know where you are coming from.

[fozzie]

Thank you for the replies.

I can't really afford day care I really wish I could I think it could really help DS. I also have to fit everything around day sleeps and school pick up so there is never much time in between, it doesn;t help that DD won;t sleep in the stroller all my DS's would so if I do have a day out there is hell to pay with DD being over tired.

I'm sorry I just need to snap out of it and get on with things.

[SuperGranny]

hi fozzie, another way to lok at things, is just go by the hour. Set yourself just little goals, doing the dishes, or making one bed, having one cup of coffee without it getting cold, just anything, so you can feel like you have done something well for one part of the day. It is hard with four kids needing your attention, I would just do what needs to be done and not ever waste time worrying about what didnt get done. As the little ones grow it will get a bit more into some order. Marie.

[Roopee]

Do you have any friends you can call on? Even if they can come for a cuppa to let you forget the chaos a bit??

How about a walk to the park after you've done the school run? The little ones could wear them selves out, you could sit and relax a little and might even meet some new friends there??

[mykidzmylife]

Is there a playgroup you can go to close by?
Its often a great place for the littlies to let off steam,and you get to chat to other adults(which is what we need sometimes)
I have 5 kids which are mostly older than yours,but the 3 youngest 11,6 and 22mths have been driving me batty lately.

Not sure if its something in the air or the water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where abouts are you?We are in Sydney.

[Kells]

Fozzie you have taken the words out of my mouth!! I havent been on here for at least 12 months as my life with my 4 is just full on - but you have struck a chord close to my heart with what you describe :yes: My youngest (21 months now, not sure what my avatar says!! :laughing:) has sent me over the edge too. And he squeals just like your DD!!!

Daycare is a good option. I did that for a while and it was great just to get to clean up without someone emptying the cupboards around you, or to get the shopping done, or even to get a cup of coffee and read a magazine in a cafe.

Not sure on your financials but you may not end up paying that much if you are not working what with the rebates and stuff.........and it may just be worth your sanity!

Good luck.

And thank you for making me feel like I am not the only mother of a large brood that feels like I'm losing the plot! ;) I am just praying that it will all be good when my youngest is 3...if it doesnt get better, not sure what I will look forward to then :p

[Annabella]

I know you said daycare is not an option, but what about occasional care, there are some run through councils and community centres that are 3 hours in morning OR afternoon, and are pretty cheap. You could try that once a week just to have a break for a couple of hours.

Otherwise, all I can really say is remember things will get easier, your kids are at that age where they require so much attention and time, PLUS working around the older ones with school etc.

Hope you feel better soon :hugs:

[fozzie]

Thank you for all the replies and advice I'm feeling a little better at the moment. I'm going to see if I can get some sort of daycare for my DS3 one day a week it might help him with his speech too. I didn't realise you could claim the rebate if you aren't working. Will have to look into it.

I'm going to look into playgroup too but I'm not sure about that one will have to see.

[Edweena]

I think I understand how you feel
I have 5 children and when we seperated they were 12, 6, 4 ,3 and 1.
I found I would often find myself in state because the kids had gone feral then I realised that children are mirrors and often reflect how you are feeling. That why they tend to 'get you' when you are feeling the lowest.

So once I realised it I would take charge again.

The babysitting thing is hard because you really need time to not be a mum. you need your space. I got alot at 8:30PM because bedtime was final and no arguement.
I would suggest that you don't go to a playgroup thats just another thing you have to do.
Your local community house might have things you can do for you and the often offer babysitting.

Good luck with it :hugs:

[bgbgbb]

Fozzie, from what Centrelink told me, you can claim the rebate for approved childcare when you are not working if either your child is receiving carers allowance (is your son able to get this because of his speech disorder?) or if you are working regulary, even if it is not paid work. They said even a regular morning at the school tuck shop would qualify.

My advice is try and put all 4 into approved care once a week. The more kids you put in, the higher your centrelink %. We actually found that it was cheaper all round to put the older 2 into after school care once a week as well (our % went from 15% to 49%) than to just have the younger two into their childcare alone.

You're welcome to PM me if you want me to explain all this gobbledy gook a bit clearer.

[bgbgbb]

May I add, I felt like I was drowning too about a year ago. Having that one, full day, to myself with all the children in approved care was marvellous. I make sure I don't use it doing housework, but relax, maybe catch up with a friend (who doesn't have a kid in tow) or go to the movies. It's something to look forward to when everything gets too much, and a good battery re-charger.

And they like the break from me too!

[Angelark]

Both my little ones just started daycare one day a week and already I've started to feel like I'm getting back on my feet.

[mysonroger]

hi fozzie. didn't read the whole thread but just saw your OP...have you considered an au pair....it is about $70 p/week, plus a placement fee, in exchange for food and board. and babysitting. you can avoid the placement fee altogether if you source the au pair yourself. they are more affordable than what most people think. and you just need to give them their own room.

they work usually 15 hours plus up to 3 nights of babysitting too. i can tell you, it is life changing.

my friends didn't have a spare room, so they just turn their formal lounge into a bedroom.

pm me if you want more details.

[fozzie]

Thanks for the info everyone. I've looked into childcare and it looks like I can afford it after all so I'm going to check out one today we are lucky here being rural that there are places at the child care centres.

DS's speech therapist thinks it will help him too so that's an added bonus.

Mysonroger - Thanks but I don't think it's for us.

[Hooves]

Fozzie, I could have easily written your post.

Sometimes it really is the toughest most mentally exhausting job on Earth.

I was going to suggest family day care, as you would qualify with the amount of children you have, and you wouldn't have to wait long on any list.

And Centrelink, pay the carer, your rebate directly. So you only have to pay any excess. Which if you are low income, or moderate income, will be only a few dollars or cents a week.


I am glad you found day care an option.

IT has completely saved my sanity this year.

I have 2 days a week, with just me and bub. AND they are heaven.

I still live in chaos, most of the time, I still struggle to get the chores done. BUT I am SANE.:laughing:


Hope you start to find things improve soon.

:hugs:

[fozzie]

Thank you Hooves

We have started orientation at Day care this week and they will have their first full day on Monday. So hopefully I will be able to get a bit of sanity back.

DH is working locally for the next few weeks which is plus means he's here when we get up and home by 4pm.

[Sheer Bliss]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: Foz, I hope daycare goes well!!

I don't know how you do it with such little support. I'd die without my mum's help and a few good friends!

[Hooves]

That is great Fozzie, Make sure you do something you Don't normally get time to do, when you get your first Day of Day Care.

I made myself a hot bath, and read a book, on my first Day with only having bub home. Was a great reward.

It didn't go exactly to plan, thanks to my hubby, and sis, but I made the effort. :laughing:


:wave:Charlies Mum. I am still catching up in our thread. hope you are well too.

[branjie]

Glad to hear things are looking up for you. Hope that day care works out for you. Don't let yourself feel any guilt over it if they cry a bit. They will get the benefit of having a mum who is not feeling at the end of her tether, that's for sure. :hugs: