Anyone here have the only Grandchild?

[MummaBear03]

Share your stories of having the only child, only grandchild, only niece/nephew!

Do you think it's good?

Is it challenging for you?

Tell us about it!

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Yes, but not an only child.

On my DH's side I have the only grandchild, not that it matters they don't really care much.:no:

[MummaBear03]

Yes, but not an only child.

On my DH's side I have the only grandchild, not that it matters they don't really care much.:no:

That's so sad, DD's paternal grandparents are the same, don't care about anything but she's their 7th and they have 2 after her, maybe more none of us know about, and a great-grandchild now as well.

[Chunkydunks]

DS is the only grandchild/nephew on DH's side of the family. He's the 7th of 9 on my side of the family.

I feel a lot of pressure to make the effort for them to see him whenever possible. But he get spoilt rotten and is very much loved by them. His grandmother has shown no interest in knowing him at all....mind you it doesn't suprise me with her history.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I don't think it matters how many you have, all children should be treated like they are important. It sucks that they would do that to your DD.

[~Bec~]

Yep, on my side DS is the only grandchild although I have 2 older brothers. Unfortunately DS will most likely never have cousins :(

[OneBabyBoy]

My DS was - until 2 weeks ago, now I am finally an aunty !! :baby::goodvibes:

I don't think it's any different. I don't think he's any more spoilt by his Nanna than he would be if there were lots of grandkids.

For me it was a perfect age gap between DS and my nephew because I was able to give them (my brother and his partner) the majority of ds's baby stuff/clothes etc.

[TacoFest]

DD is the only grand chIld on both sides. She doesn't have any cousins yet. It comes with it's advantages, as both sets of grand parents were very involved in my pregnancy, and they both bought me heaps (which made it VERY cheap for dp and I). She is also very spolied by family. My mum spent over $500 on her for Christmas. Unfortunately we had a huge falling out with dp's parents and so they have only seen her three times since her birth but when they have they have given her hundreds of $ of stuff.

I think it will get more challenging as she grows up and gets siblings/cousins as she is already used to being the centr of attention.

My dad passed away a month ago and my dd has been great therapy for my mum. My mum adores her and dd has really stopped my mum sinking into depression. My mum has her a day or 2 a week by choice and this is great for me also!

[Phyllis Stein]

DS is the only grandchild on my side of the family, and I dislike it. My parents have hugely inflated expectations of how we'll live our lives to facillitate their access at all times. It feels like we're being a bit monopolised, with DHs family missing out seeing DS on birthdays, at Christmas etc.

[Veritas]

Only grandchild on both sides....

X's family couldn't give a toss, and my mum is not all that into her.... her Aunty's love her, but again, not all that interested.... they don't go out of their way to see her, and wouldn't if I didn't initiate contact.... none of them live more than 5 mins away..... but that's pretty indicative of the rest of my family, very self involved....

DD was the only great grandchild too, until last week.... felt kind of bad cos my grandparents didn't rush to see the newby like they did DD.... they beat me to the ward and sat outside waiting until visiting hours started for 2 hrs.....

They definitely are more inclined to spoil DD and play the traditional grandparent role, but again, if I didn't go their once a fortnight, they wouldn't see her either....

[bookwormmum]

My DD is the only grandchild on both sides of the family. It's great because she's very doted on but at the same time she's spoiled rotten and sometimes they really go overboard. They're all guilty of sometimes not listening to what DF and I say when it comes to what DD eats or watches or plays with. They think they can do everything with her the same way they did with us and think we're over paranoid with her :rolleyes:

[ladybugblue84]

Yea I have an only granddaughter & neice on her dads side. She has 2 cousins on my side & they are all around the same age & girls.

My DD is doted on by her dads side of the family but she is on my side too. But I'd have to say they have all the time in the world for DD & will take her whenever. Her dad lives with his parents still so she see's them heaps. They just are really enjoying being grandparents & savour every minute. Her aunty (dads sister) doesn't have kids of her own so she is always over the minute she knows DD has arrived. It's great as DD just loves the attention & she's often the centre of it there. It was a bit hard on me when I lived with them in the beginning as I always wanted my baby back but now I live away from them & get heaps of precious alone time with my DD I am happy for them to take her whenever now.

[SassyMummy]

DD is the only grandchild on my side. I think it does make some difference - of course my mother loves her to bits because she's the only one there to love!

It also helps, IMO, that I love my mother to bits also, and that I am my mother's daughter... I think she's probably closer to my child than she would be to my brother's if he had one, just because I'm hte daughter, kwim? It often kinda works out that way it seems...

[MummaBear03]

My mum spoils her so much. This child does not need anything else. She has so much clothing I can't even keep it all here. She has wardrobes with 2 hanging parts and 4 drawers, and a tallboy with 6 large drawers and they are all chockers with clothing, and she has about 10 full sets of designer label clothing at my mum's place, along with heaps of shoes and hats. She has heaps of books here and heaps of books at my mum's house. She has way too many toys in her room, my room and the lounge room. She also has toys at my mum's house. She has more DVDs than she can possibly watch this year and is getting more all the time. She has DVDs she got for Christmas 2008 that are still in the plastic!

I think if she had other cousins my mum would have other kids to dote on, and I know she would, and DD wouldn't be so spoilt. I've spoken to her about it but every time we go there she has more things! I said she's going to stop appreciating things if she has too much given to her too often.

I think she'd like a cousin to play with too. She has half-siblings from her father who are around her age, and cousin's on his side, but none that she can play and grow with which is sad.

[Dreambeliever]

DS is the first grandchild and great-grandchild on both sides of the family. that adds up to a whole lot of people who think the sun shines out of my cheeky boy :rolleyes::laughing:
its lovely because they all make a good effort to keep in contact and visit him from all over australia and new zealand.
but it all so can be a bit full on. we moved states early january and asked everyone not to go overboard with christmas presents for him. however, it seems that no one heard us...we had to buy a trailer for DP to drive down all the gifts :eek:
then we get here and DP's mum sends another parcel "because i saw it and it was just so cute!" :rolleyes:

[c38]

DS is on my side. As far as I know his maternal granmother does not know of his existance. We have no contact from FOB.

My brother and his partner do not want to have children. My mother has been harping on about "not being fussed that she was the only sibling in her family not to have grandchildren" for years. It was SO obvious she was fussed, and a lot of pressure on me, single in my late 30's. From the moment I told my parents about my "surprise" they have been besotted.

In some ways it's great as they are a great support in many ways. In other ways it's hard. It feels like I have lost my independance and privacy. They are always popping in, or deciding that we NEED things or something done to the house/yard etc etc. My Mum rings daily, sometimes more, and wants to rabbit on about everything he's done that day. (pre pregnancy we probably spoke once a week and maybe saw each other once a week if that).
They also spoil him and indulge him. Christmas was quite testing but they learned their lesson when he became quite overwhelmed after the third present (of about 20). Thankgod they then pulled back,... and so he's still getting bits and pieces from grandma's present pile to lesson the impact.

I'm gritting my teeth and preparing to have a talk about who is the parent, before he gets much closer to the testing2s. He's already started with tanties and hitting and the odd bite etc. When they are about, even if it's me he's hitting..they will both tell him off. I've also had to have words with my Dad about it being inappropriate to try and teach a toddler not to smack by smacking him on the hand:doh:. I have no probalem with them diciplining him appropriately if I'm not there or he does something to them individually...but its not fair on him to have three people shout "no" as he grabs the dog by the tail.

My Mum is so besotted she's almost drunk. Everything is about him. eg If we are in the Supermarket and I buy a new sauce I get.."Oh will DS eat that??".."Um NO Mum..I DO!!" Her scrapping partner remarked how her photos have changed from the dog and golf, to DS DS and DS and the dog. She's does annoying things like insist that he has milk from a bottle, when he;s quite capable of taking it from a cup, if she;s minding him. Though I think that comes from a "jealousy that he is BF and she missed out on giving him bottles. She also insists on spoon feeding him, and playing silly airoplane games, when he was introduced to solids via babyledweaning and has been able to independantly eat since 6 months and use a spoon since about 13months. The worst thing is her constantly remarking to him.." your Granmas boy aren't you!!" :hair::hair: "Um, NO Mum he's MY child...but actually he's his own person, please get out of his face!"

I could go on and one...

But I wont bore you anymore. Thanks for making it this far if you have...:laughing:.

I keep reminding myself they wont always be around and we are both very lucky to have them in our lives. He could do worse then to have two grandparents who adore him so much. I just hope I can shield him from some of the pressure that entails.

[florence]

DD is the only grandchild on my side of the family and my parents spoil her rotten. I have barely bought her anything clothes wise since the day I found out I was pregnant.
They also paid to bank her cord blood, purchased her Boori cot, linen, toys, car seat, swing etc etc.....it goes on and on- they are just besotted!! They also bought her 6 (yes, 6) miniature ponies when she was first born even though they live in another state :laughing:.
Mind you, I think it's their way 'cause they aren't able to see her more than every 6-8 weeks.
On DH's side DD isn't 'technically' the first grandchild but the only one that his family sees (by family I mean DH's brother and fiance as that's the only family he has besides his mother) and DH's mother hasn't seen DD since she was 7 months old (she is now 1) by her own choice.

[Bubmum]

On FOB's side, DD is the only grandchild, and is probably the only one they will have. They love her to pieces, and whenever we are out and about and we see Asian women, she is breaking her neck to see if it is her Lola. She is also the first girl in two generations. They are highly superstitious, and see her as a golden child, or some very odd thing. The child that is going to save them all.
They are a massive failure of a family in their eyes (divorced, distant child), and have all their hopes pinned on her to bring unconditional love into their lives. It is a huge burden to place on a baby.
On our side, she is the third grandchild, but she has a special relationship with my parents as we live with them. My parents leave us alone. We have our own end of the house, eat/cook together etc., but have pretty seperate lives, so they aren't overbearing and definitley do not give me parenting advice. They're more like noisy flatmates who make sure the bills are paid on time, and the toilet is cleaned.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

coop was the only grandchild on my side of the family til my brother decided to let us know that he has a child. coop has always been spoilt by my mum, my dad not so much but coop loves spending time with both of them. on FOB side, really got no idea and they dont or wouldnt even know of us tbh.

i have been told that if i have more children, they wont be treated the same as coop as he is the favourite and my parents wont get to see my brothers son or his unborn child as he has chosen for them to not be involved with his life which is on a downward spiral from drugs. they have met D who is 4yrs old once though

[Leisa21]

DS is the only grandchild on both sides. I like it in the sense that I can always get a baby sitter when needed :p. However I feel sad for DS I grew up with a million cousins and my brother and sister so I always had other children around me.

It will be quite a while before he has any cousins :( My parents are absolutely obsessed with DS and I love it but it wouldn't matter if DS was the first or the 50th, they've got a lot of love to give. DH's parents well FIL and both my SIL adore DS and are great. MIL on the other hand resents him because he wasn't ready to be a grandmother and I know he feels it which is sad. It will be tough if one of my SIL's have children because MIL will obsess over them and leave Chicken out :(

[bubbleandme]

okay, this may sound confusing..

DS is the only grandchild for my mother and her parents, the only grandson but third grandchild for my father (his parents are deceased) and the only grandchild (that i know of) on his fathers side.

so, being the only grandson/grandchild/great-grandchild he's fairly spoilt! with love and things lol my grandmother has knitted him over 20 jumpers! and he's not even one! lol so thats only two winters.. they are beautiful though! and my aunt loves him like her own too

on his father's side, his grandparents have never met him and :fingerscrossed: they never will :no:

[Baldie's Mum]

I am pregnant with the only grandchild, newphew/niece on BOTH sides! Well i am only pregnant and i am already getting "so you will be coming to us for x-mas, WONT YOU!!!" It mainly comes from DH's side. I very rudly said "No i wont be, cause you made such a stir last x-mas by wanting your whole family together.....so this x-mas i will be spending it with MY parents!!!!" I know its sounds bad, but you know what, she was so cutting when it came to last x-mas!!! I didnt see my family until 4 days after x-mas cause MIL put guilt trips on us! :rolleyes:

[LeanneJO]

Ours is the only grandchild on both sides of the family and everyone spoils him so much! Will be good when some of the others have kids though so he has someone to play with!

[MummaBear03]

Ours is the only grandchild on both sides of the family and everyone spoils him so much! Will be good when some of the others have kids though so he has someone to play with!

My daughter turns 7 this year and we're still all waiting for a cousin for her from my older brother and his wife. Not from my younger brother and his gf because he's 21 and she's 18 and both act like they're 14 :p

[Happy2be3]

Yep only grandchild on my side of the family.. Sad really that families are getting so small.. my DS only has 3 sets of Aunts/Uncles in total! No cousins on either side... none for a long time. No siblings predicted in the future either.

[TickTock]

My DS is the only grandchild on my DH's side, and the 4th grandchild on my parents' side. (not for long though :) )

DHs parents are obsessed and completely besotted with DS. We don't live near by (at least 2 states or a country away), but they call DS on Skype at least once a day! And come birthdays and Christmases, he is showered with gifts (too many really) from them. All the calls and gifts can get a bit much, but at least I know that they absolutely adore him.:yes:

As for my parents... I'm really disappointed in how little interest they show in DS. They rarely call.... at birthdays and Christmas they put money in my bank account for me to get DS something... they rarely even give a card. When I mention how often his other grandparents call DS, my Mum will just comment that "they must have too much time on their hands" or that "oh well, he is their only grandchild". But when she says that all I hear is "we don't place as much importance on having a relationship with him" and as for having too much time on their hands, DHs parents both are very busy with work and other activities, where my parents are both retired. :rolleyes:

As you can tell it really annoys me as I saw first-hand how "into" their other grandchildren my parents were - always ringing, knowing what they were up to, etc. But because DS has come along a little later, and we don't live nearby, they don't feel the need to show much interest as they have the other kids they can dote on. I know that if DS was their first/only grandchild, he would have been treated a lot differently.

Sorry for venting in your thread! But in a nutshell, from where I'm sitting, being an only grandchild is a good thing! :yes: It will be interesting to see how both sets of parents respond to the addition of another grandchild in the coming months!

[SimplyMum]

DS is one of 6 grandchildren. He is spoilt with love though. My sis and bro's kids are spoilt with material things, outings and such from my parents because they often don't have money to buy basics- I provide all DS needs and loads of special outings and experiences so my parents spoil DS in other ways- more so with time.

My bro and sis either don't have the inclination or the money (wasted on cr@p) to do much with their kids so my parents tend to pick up the slack allot there. Giving them basic special holidays and such.

My Mum has made a tradition of taking the grandkids on a special holiday/trip for their 5th birthdays'. She took my older 2 nephews both on planes up to QLD. DS has already been on a fair few planes so she was going to take him on a big train trip but I beat her to it. So, she has now decided to do the Roar and Snoar with him at Taronga Zoo. I threatened to do it before hand cause it sounded so cool but she said 'you better not!' :laughing:

If we go to a water park, camping, festival, flower show- I'll usually go along with DS but my bro and sis as I said either don't have the inclination or the money to do so, so Mum and Dad will often take on the the grandkids along for the experience.
They also have DS once a week. They pick him up from daycare and he stays over the night- they drop him off the next day. Spending that 'normal' time with them is priceless. There's nothing I could possibly want more for him.

I feel really lucky. DS is not an only grandchild but gets spoilt like one with all the love. :cloud9: