International Adoption

[CluckySC]

Hi all,

I'd love to ask some questions if I could. I know that adoption can be a sensitive topic so if I word something wrongly please don't bite :o I have two very good friends who are adopted and I know the complexities of it on the adoptee.

My DF and I have always wanted to adopt internationally. We have biological DS and plan to try for another child mid year, but when either of us try to picture our family as complete we both see this third face and it feels impossible for this other little person to be a part of our lives.

We have travelled extensively and have met many amazing children in orphanages overseas. We still support these places. We are absolutely flexible in regards to country, gender and age. We would be just as happy with a 7 year old as a baby.

We are aware how complicated, sensitive (and costly) international adoption is, and we're aware that the wait is long so I'm wanting to know a few things that may help if we get underway now.

*we would ideally love to welcome this child into our family in 3-5 years time. What kind of wait periods are 'normal'?
* we are not yet married but have been defacto for almost 4 years. We do plan to marry at some point but will this slow the process down if we haven't been married for some time?
* Has anyone here, or do you know anyone who has been successful with international adoption when they also have biological children?

I have heard all the horror stories on message boards, all the reminders of the difficulties, all the cries that those wanting to adopt internationally are ignoring the children of their own country. I have researched all this, and will continue to do so for a long time to come. It makes me nervous to think of all that lies ahead but we want to prepare ourselves as well as we can to be the best parents we can. Like I said, we feel like this child is meant to be with us and it will all fall into place.

I'd just love some advice and experiences I guess!

[jackie7]

Hi Clucky,
If your planning on it 3-5 years would be the short length, especially for those starting now. Maybe the 5 year mark is more realistic.

Sometimes the SW's and other countries like correct birth order - however with the length of wait even if you where approved for a child over 2 you would still most likely be in the correct family order simply because of the time lengths.

Marry now, don't wait - if it happens to be a second marriage for either of you the length times of marriage are longer as well.

Some countries (maybe Taiwan????) have restrictions on birth children.


ICA is a lot of work and can be heart breaking (we are an example of this - 4 and half years of ICA with China and withdrawn and no children at all) Think long and hard - ICA is not like it was 6 to 8 years ago in Australia and it's only getting more difficult.

[Leeee]

yeah australian gov doesn't like adoption. the qld gov is the worst. apparently the fed gov has cut off their agreement with ethiopia.
if i remember correctly (you'd have to check) korea won't let you adopt a child if you already have one. not sure about the others. and i'm pretty sure allocation is one of the very last stages. back in 98 my parents took me to ethiopia to pick up my adopted brother, we'd only been allocated him a few months previously and started the process a whole 2 years earlier. that was back when it was a relatively quick procedure.
there are some support groups around. aacasa is one but now that ethiopia is out of bounds to australian families i'm not sure how useful that will be.
try this site (http://www.aican.org/support.php)
international adoption is not an easy or cheap process but it's very, very rewarding and has the potential to help you form some wonderful and lasting friendships.
good luck!

[jackie7]

The Ethiopian program may actually reopen - it has at this point just been put on hold. But on the same hand it's unknown what will happen.

The information about Korea is not accurate - you can actually have up to 5 children (including child to be adopted).

Best thing to do is read
http://www.ag.gov.au/www/agd/agd.nsf/Page/IntercountryAdoption_CountryPrograms_IntercountryA doption

[CluckySC]

Thank you both so much for your replies :)

So sorry that it didn't work out for you Jackie. That must have been so difficult :( You have a kind heart being on here helping others with advice with it.

empeg I'm glad to hear that your brother came to your family this way and it turned out well.

The more I read about the costs involved and the waiting periods the more I'm frustrated by Australian adoption laws. I completely agree with making sure the family is suitable and making sure the child is placed with the right family but there are so many children in need of families and so many families with open arms I find the fact that it takes them so many years (and even then it sometimes doesn't happen) incredible. Such a shame.

Will keep researching. Thanks ladies.

[Leeee]

The Ethiopian program may actually reopen - it has at this point just been put on hold. But on the same hand it's unknown what will happen.

The information about Korea is not accurate - you can actually have up to 5 children (including child to be adopted).



that's wonderful news about ethiopia! the korea thing- my bad :o but i do know there's somewhere that won't let you adopt if you already have bio kids or summing. haven't been to an adoption get-together in years though so things might've changed anyway.