shouldn't feel this way but am definitely homesick

[learo dochais]

Hey guys,
just a bit of blurgh really i guess, we're here nearly 4 years, have the most gorgeous 18mo old ever (even if he's a biter :) ) but just a bit homesick these days. I really shouldn't be! i have a great job, on my days off I nip down the park and we have a great time, I have great friends and everytime I go to our local shops Finns treated like a celebrity! we can't pass the veg shop without a hug, or the IGA with 'hello sweet sweet thing!' having his cheeks pinched. I know we wouldn't have this at home, and when we are home the family just bicker. any of ye out there who've been here for a long time got tips for dealing with this latest bout of homesickness? I guess i would love for some family to help mind the wee man, but in all honesty if we were home i am not sure they'd be around to help. Here my friend and I share care of our two kids to help us go to work, we hit the park three times a day when not working... you know the drill.. basically a great lifestyle... so what to do??? I have some great friends at home and I miss them dearly, they're all getting married now and having their first bubs, i hate missing out on these momentous occasions in their lives..plus we have to send a lot of cash home every month to cover the mortgage for a house now in negative equity - it just feels like we're constantly under financial pressure here with no way of building for the future as all money goes into the mortgage or trips home.....how did ye cope?
thanks!!
Jen

[Gothel]

Hi Jen, sorry you are feeling this way. I have been here 10 years + and know exactly how you feel - you know things are not perfect back home but you still miss it. My homesickness is almost a physical pain sometimes. I get on the phone a bit when it gets bad. I ask my sister to tell me the goss, warts and all, she tells me about the bickering and cr@p that's going on, that always makes me feel better lol!

Nothing fixes it really, but I do find that it comes in waves, sometimes it lasts quite a while but then it just passes and gets easier. After going through a few bouts, I was just able to say to myself that I knew it would pass. Its not that I miss everyone any less, I guess it just got easier with time.

Where did you grow up? I'm from the midlands...

[Mammy]

Hi Jen,
I think its pretty normal to feel this way, i've been here nearly 5 years now and it hasnt gotten much easier. Im still finding it really hard to settle in. You'd think after this long it would get a bit easier but unfortunately it doesnt.
I was fine till i had my daughter in 2007, loved it, not a bit homesick, then bang, it hit me really hard. It was so hard bringing her up on my own, having no family support, no let up day in, day out.
Its better now that she's older but those early days were so hard.
Its not so much the place that i miss, just family and friends.
As you say its hard missing out on all the big occasions, weddings, babies coming along etc.

I dont have any advice for you im afraid. I suppose you just gotta think how bad things are at home just now. Most of my friends would give their right arm to have the opportunity that i have. No jobs back home, people losing their houses, miserable weather etc.

I'm aiming to go home at least once a year which has helped and my parents said they'll come out every year too. I dont think i could cope otherwise and no matter how much it costs its definately worth it.

Where in Australia are you?

[Gothel]

Mammy, that is so true, it all got worse for me too after the babies arrived. Very hard not having the family support. I also very much miss having family to show them off to. I really feel they are missing the relationships they would have with uncles, aunts, cousins etc etc. Nice that you canget home once a year, we used to do that but can't afford it now!

[jenny82]

:confused:Where is everyone from this Irish mammy site gone??? !! Am I the only one here..if so Im talking to myself. hmmmmm

jenny:)

[Gothel]

Yes good question, where are all the mammies? Maybe away doing penance for their sins as the pope has asked??!!

Well you are not talking to yourself Jenny82, there is at least one other mammy here :>

[jenny82]

Yes good question, where are all the mammies? Maybe away doing penance for their sins as the pope has asked??!!

Well you are not talking to yourself Jenny82, there is at least one other mammy here :>

good to hear anna. Bring back the Irish mammy thread. You been here long?

[darcey]

Hello, I'm still here too though I thought I was the only one :) nice to know there are a few of us. I'm in Brisbane, been here nearly 4 years now and have a 20 month old daughter, I agree we need to bring back the Irish mammy thread :)

[jenny82]

hi Darcey :wave:
,good tinking as they say in the good land!! keep an eye out for recruits!! we need more Irish women!

Im in sydney expecting our first little un. 31 weeks now. Happy days! :)
I have been in oz for 4 and half years. Came for a year and never went back! Going to see my mum maybe dad in july for first time since I left,cant wait. How is life with you?
jenny

[Gothel]

Hi Darcey and Jenny, 3 of us here, nearly enough to start rounds... Anyone for a pint??!!

I'm in Melb and have been here over 10 years now :eek:. I also came for a year and never went back. How did that happen for you Jenny? Jeez that's a long time without a trip home... do you miss it??

How did you come here Darcey? Been home much?

AFM, I was a backpacker and then got a 457, then met my now hubby and got residency and the rest as they say... :>

Slainte :>
Anna.

[jenny82]

Morning Darcey & Anna, :wave:
hope your well. Been away from home a fair while now alright..can be pretty hard going somedays worrying about the family and stuff. Cant wait to get home at some stage but we are still going through visa crap. Hopefully the arrival of the little un might help it along. (I really didnt mean that to come out in a bludging assalim seeker manner!) We have had two laywers who both screwed us royally so now after all this time and tax and stuff paid we dont get the baby bonus cause we are "overseas visitors". Awesome.

I am on a bit of a rant today :ecomcity: as we had our 31 week hosp apt yest and I found them to be so unhelpful and cold it has upset me a bit. Ever feel like someone hears the accent and just colds up on you? Anyway enough of my *****ing how are you ladies doing? I have found another Dublin mammy and invited her to join our new posse!

Jaysus I would murder a pint of bud about now!:yes:
I feel I will be on this site a fair bit today as Im in work but am sulking and dont feel like doing a lot really. Bad jenny!

Be well everyone !:thumbsup:

[darcey]

Hey Jen and Anna

Yes a pint sounds great - cheers all!

We came over in 06 on a 457 too, said we'd give it a year or 2 for the experience if nothing else. We certainly had no real notion of staying beyond that but we do love Brisbane and we've had a ball so we are still here and it will be 4 yrs in July. I've been home every year though, twice now with baby - hmmm, flying long haul when she was 5 months and then 15 months was, well, another experience entirely!!

We almost made the move back this year, given the visa was coming to an end we felt we'd leave it at that, hubby got offered a good job at home and we started plans to move back but in the end we felt it best to get our residency so that we have options, too many people make the move back and regret it and we didn't want to be like that. Its employer sponsored residency and being assessed at the minute so we'll see what happens.

I wouldn't be going home for the place really, its just as you all know well the people factor, being at home was great, seeing all my wee nieces and nephews with my dd, was unbelievable - I struggle with not being able to share her with all the aunties, grandparents etc, its just not the same here. I also know as our family grows we will not be able to make the trip as often and I'd find that very hard.

But for now we are grand, enjoying all Oz has to offer and seeing how we go, congrats Jen on the pregnancy :) its all good!

Anyway must go, can hardly believe I am actually going out for dinner this evening - we have got a babysitter lined up (a very rare treat given we have few people we can really ask over here!) can't wait :)

Nice chattin!

D

[jenny82]

Hi D,:wave:
Dinner out sounds great. Just went on a half hour break from work with the godmother to be for 1 hour and half so pretty happy with myself now!!

Looking forward to sleep tomorrow :sleeping:.

Sounds like great fun travelling with the little un! will be missing the sharing the baby with the family at home too. Have my bro and sister in law here but the rest of the posse are home. But the good news is they are all planning to come visit before christmas! loads of lyons tea for me!!

Hope you have a great Anzac weekend. Ill be back to work tues for next update. Spewing we dont have comp at home yet. Still a Cork povo langer at heart me!!! :laughing:


Take care. xxx jenny