Contact centres for access

[Safire]

Hi everyone... My ex husband has decided that he would like to get to know DD after not seeing her for over 3 years ( she is 3 and he made the choice not to see her after she was 8 months). He has his own set if issues and there are serious concerns as to his parenting ability so my lawyer has suggested a contact centre to facilitate supervised contacts at first... Does anyone have any feedback regarding the advantages/ disadvantages of public sponsored ones vs private? I want to go to a public one (can't say why to be honest and gut feeling doesn't wash in mediation)...I could really use some help to put together my rationale for my choice:)

[Edweena]

A contact center was suggested to me and my ex has serious parental issues so I said no access at all. So I have never used them.

If I had to use one I wouldn't be happy until I had gone into the center myself and looked around and asked questions. Public or Private I don't know. I would choose one with govt standards.

Good luck with it

[Maia]

Hi Safire. Unfortnately( or perhaps fortunately ;)) I havent had any personal experience with a contact centre. Where I live there is limited choice anyway, 40 mins one direction for one, or 3 hours the opposite direction for the other...

Both are public I believe. A friend has used the one closest to us for her kids due to domestic violence issues and found it to be extremely helpful and well run. They actually write a report up at the end of each visit to say how it went with the father and also told her what had happened. The father would go in the front while her and the children went in the back to avoid confrontation. This was also due to a DVO.

I would recommend talking to someone at both a public run and private run facitility and see what their protocols would be for handling your situation and what they have available in times and dates etc.

All the best. :)

[Pinkzy]

Hi Safire. Unfortnately( or perhaps fortunately ;)) I havent had any personal experience with a contact centre. Where I live there is limited choice anyway, 40 mins one direction for one, or 3 hours the opposite direction for the other...

Both are public I believe. A friend has used the one closest to us for her kids due to domestic violence issues and found it to be extremely helpful and well run. They actually write a report up at the end of each visit to say how it went with the father and also told her what had happened. The father would go in the front while her and the children went in the back to avoid confrontation. This was also due to a DVO.

I would recommend talking to someone at both a public run and private run facitility and see what their protocols would be for handling your situation and what they have available in times and dates etc.

All the best. :)

:iagree:

The father would go in the front while her and the children went in the back to avoid confrontation - That is how all of these centres are run just to keep things as safe as possible for everyone, which is great :)

Personally, I really dislike contact centres unless they're an absolute necessity, it sounds like it is in your case so I'm not saying it's a bad choice for you or anything but personally, they make me feel very uncomfortable as I've had experience with children who are forced to see their parents in these places and they really, really hate going :( Not because they don't want to see their parent, just because they are very uncomfortable, which is completely natural when complete strangers are watching every move made when the parent is interacting with their child. The parent is also unable to relax as they know they're being judged the whole time and watched and *shudder* yeah these places just give me the creeps lol. I know they're necessary though and it's awesome they are there...it beats parents not being able to see their kids at all I guess.

Good luck with everything :)

[crazymuma]

We used one called Harmony House - there are a few of them around and a website to look at.

Basically my ex would arrive first and have to park his car out the back - then they locked the gate and 15 minutes later I would come to the front and drop the kids off to the ladies who would take them out the back.

To be honest they were great - they never once turned their back on him - I know this as he whinged to me about it. I could also stipulat that they were to be the only ones changing nappies if there are sexual concerns (which there weren't for me). They had 3 workers there all the time and said if he got angry/became agressive in any way then they would call the police before it got out of hand. Funny thing was he tried to make out to them that he was this poor hard done by father - they saw straight through that though.
Also if the kids don't settle within a certain period of time (20 minutes at my center) then I would be called back and the visit cancelled.

I had to provide lunch for them - or food for him to cook with them - like a cake or something.

Basically at the end of the 2 hours I was to come back, ring the bell and they would bring the kids out - he had to stay a minimum of 15 minutes after I drove away.

I have pretty shy kids but they actually loved going there - it was in a 3 bedroom house with an amazing yard - the kids had every toy they could possibly think of.

It cost us (if I remember correctly) $40 per visit and we had visits ever 2 weeks. In my case we had to share the cost but if I ever went back to mediation I would make him have to cover it all as I had a fair bit of $$ in petrol money to get there.

I guess the plus in my case is that I now have recorded proof of him not showing up to scheduled visits - he only came to 2 - and apparently this is going to be great for me if we ever hit court.

You are worried about his parenting - put it in the parenting agreement that he is to attend a parenting course as well - you can basically ask for anything you want or need.

If you want to know anything more feel free to PM me okay