what is your secret?

[thoughtfulmum2b]

morning ladies,

Hope you are all well.

I am stuck in a bit of a rut and need some help.
Well basically I want to know how all you mums that work....are still able to spend time with your kids, can afford to pay for childcare 5days a week and be able to also spend time with your partner as well.

You see I am a stay at home mum, my son is almost 2, I still live at home with my parents and I am in a serious relationship.
At the end of the year my partner and I want to move out into a place of our own but i am scared and don't know what to do...

My pension+childcare support money is not enough to live on really...so I'd have to get a job but i feel I only have 2 options as to what to do-

1. I can work full time and be financially secure but miss out on spending time with my boy
or
2.I can keep struggling financially living on my pension money to be able to spend as much time as possible with my son and bf.

I just don't know what to do. I want to be financially secure, be able to spend time with my son (i don't wanna miss him grow up =[ ) and as well as spend some one on one time with my bf.


I wish the government would make it more easier for mums that want to stay home and be with their kids instead of paying us lowsy payments a fortnight.

What jobs do you do for work that have allowed you to do all of the above? Any sugguestions?

[shelle65]

Would it be possilbe for you to get a part-time job or a job where you work shifts?

I work 4 days a week and I spend heaps of time with my DD, In the mornings, on the way to and from childcare, in the evenings, and on the weekends. She loves her childcare and she gets to spend time with other kids and doing things that I might not be able to do with her, so I feel it's a really good balance.

Childcare fees look huge but once you factor in the child care benefit and rebate from the government it is less.

I don't have a partner, but there is a good 2-3 hour period each evening when DD is in bed and I have time for myself.

[BabyPaparazzi]

Check with centrelink as to what your benefits will be once you move out of your parents house. There are some calculators online that you can use to. It will usually be completely different. Depending on your partners income you may be entitled to FTB and a parenting payment.

We made the decision to have children while I was still at uni and DH is an apprentice and find financially we do fine. We just got ourselves in a situation where there was no debt before trying. I dont work but I study full time which has me away for about 30hrs a week. DD is in childcare 3 days and I get 100% rebate (not for being a student but our combined family income). 100% doesnt mean though that it is fully covered, I still pay a bit out of pocket and a bit of that is reimbursed with the child care rebate quarterly. Our combined family income also means I get a parenting payment based on DH fortnightly earnings. Family day care is also cheaper if you can find a good one.

DD loves going to daycare and I think the interaction with the other kids, learning environment and being independent from me a few days have been really good for her. I still get to spend heaps of time with her in the morning and evening on these day care days and every other day. I study when she goes to bed. DH and me get to spend all weekends and most mornings together, so we get plenty of time.

You really need to way up the whether what you earn less childcare fees will have you financially better off than what you will get staying at home, and whether this extra money is worth the less time spent with your son. For alot of woman I know they are only marginally financially better off or some worse off by working and decide to stay at home.

[brogeybear]

If you are in a serious relationship and are looking at moving in together you then become a family and a partnership so that may affect your benefits.
Having said that, I do disagree with you on the "government should make it easier" line of thought. Australia pays a lot of $$ to single SAHM and ok I am glad that we have such a good social security system, but I dont think they need to be paying for anything else but your rent, food, clothing and education. My mum was a sing SAHM and we managed just fine; having said that, she didnt waste her pension on cigarettes, alcohol, scratchies, etc (NOT THAT YOU DO!!!)
If you are really going to be in a position where you cant pay your bills without getting a job, then 2 days a week wont mean that you are missing out on all that much, its a lot less than full time care. Also, as I said before, in a partnership your benefits will change, more to a FTB style...by the sounds of it you are serious and in that case your DP shouldnt mind being the main income earner, you'll still be getting some money. I am rambling as I am a bit confused when you say that your pension, etc it not enough to live off...your DP does work doesnt he?
Maybe I can answer better with more info, but atm thats my thoughts.
HTH

[BabyPaparazzi]

Check with centrelink as to what your benefits will be once you move out of your parents house. There are some calculators online that you can use to. It will usually be completely different. Depending on your partners income you may be entitled to FTB and a parenting payment.

We made the decision to have children while I was still at uni and DH is an apprentice and find financially we do fine. We just got ourselves in a situation where there was no debt before trying. I dont work but I study full time which has me away for about 30hrs a week. DD is in childcare 3 days and I get 100% rebate (not for being a student but our combined family income). 100% doesnt mean though that it is fully covered, I still pay a bit out of pocket and a bit of that is reimbursed with the child care rebate quarterly. Our combined family income also means I get a parenting payment based on DH fortnightly earnings. Family day care is also cheaper if you can find a good one.

DD loves going to daycare and I think the interaction with the other kids, learning environment and being independent from me a few days have been really good for her. I still get to spend heaps of time with her in the morning and evening on these day care days and every other day. I study when she goes to bed. DH and me get to spend all weekends and most mornings together, so we get plenty of time.

You really need to way up the whether what you earn less childcare fees will have you financially better off than what you will get staying at home, and whether this extra money is worth the less time spent with your son. For alot of woman I know they are only marginally financially better off or some worse off by working and decide to stay at home.

[Raising Leprechauns]

I work five minutes from home and the childcare is at work - so no travel time really.

I have a cleaner and someone to do the ironing - so the time I do have at home is just for my kids and my partner. I work one day a week from home - so I can still take the kids to playgroup and have playdates.

We make a special effort to do fun things with the kids on the weekends.

Of course I see less of my kids than if I stayed home and I miss them all the time, but the time I do have with them is just focused on them.

Good luck!

[thoughtfulmum2b]

hey ladies

No my partner is not currently working but hopefully he will be soon...he does contract work..he works in the film industry.

Which has it's pro's and con's
Pro is obviously he gets paid well but con's is that it's not constant work so once his money is gone could be ages until he gets more work.


I have thought of getting part time work or even working from home i'm just worried it won't be enough to pay the bills etc

i've asked him to get a normal job as it would make things so much easier as not only is it constant work but I could continue staying home with my son. My partner isn't my son's father as well.

[brogeybear]

Hmmm... that does complicate things. Maybe you should both go in to Centrelink and see what the arangements would be at this stage if you were to move in with him not working. Could your DP (or you) get a casual job doing something like nightfill at the grocery store or something. That may help while he is in between work. Does it look like he may be able to get a permanant role sometime in the near future? Your child support from DSs father wont change when your living arrangements do, but if hes anything like my father was, youll only be getting $5wk anyway! PSHT!
Is there a temping agency for your DPs kind of work? He may get something through there as well. Also, you will most likey be getting some form of rent assistance, which I think I forgot to mention before. Maybe you could do some part time study from home and that way you could maybe even end up doing family day care or something. Centrelink will support you through study and then when you're done you could work from home while still caring for DS.
HTH a little bit!

[thoughtfulmum2b]

my partner has thought about doing a casual job inbetween films but he doesn't want somebody to employ him, train him up and put their faith in him when anytime a film will come up and he will have to leave.

he has recently applied for centrelink himself but obviously they will stop paying him once he gets work it's just annoying as im sick of going through these poor periods so i feel for him to be able to do his dream job I have to step up to the mark to make sure we will have food on the table when we move out. When it comes to film work he has many contacts but most of them are out of work as well as films take alot of preparation so most people that work on film live on savings until the next one comes up. It's a good job just sucks its not constant.

In regards to rental assistance I have called and inquired about it...the normal cost to rent in my area is $350-400 and centrelink said they would pay $200 a fortnight which really isn't much so I have to do something just not sure what.
I am trying to put together my own online business but I need money to make that happy which my dad is happy to help me out with but as it will be a new company I will need another source of income until it picks up.

I've worked high paying jobs in the past which would be great now and would allow me to move out etc but still comes down to either having a fancy job or being a mum.
Which of both I want haha.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

I just thought I'd mention that your partner will be obligated to look for work if he is receiving social security.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

either having a fancy job or being a mum.
Which of both I want haha.

sometimes these fancy jobs you speak about are not worth it. you can only earn up to $260 a fortnight i believe without your payments being affected. for myself(single parent) its actually better for me to work very few hours for me to make any real benefit with money however i choose to work part time in a great job. could you do some night fill work if your parents dont mind watching your DD while she is sleeping? work doesnt have to be fancy. it should be about something you enjoy doing

[Jaspat24]

I wish the government would make it more easier for mums that want to stay home and be with their kids instead of paying us lowsy payments a fortnight.

What jobs do you do for work that have allowed you to do all of the above? Any sugguestions?

At least you get payments.....
Get a part time job which includes weekend work so you don't have to pay as much on childcare.