Boys & Barbies...

[Mamaduke]

Today I was on kinder duty and Jesse (4) found a Barbie in the lost property box. This phenomenon was totally new to him as most of our friends have boys and he doesn't have any cousins at all, let alone girls who may have Barbies, dolls etc.
He stood there holding the Barbie for at least 15 minutes, commenting on how beautiful she is, looking at her hair etc.
He then looked up at me with those big blue eyes and asked, "Oh Mummy could I please get a Barbie of my own?"
So this afternoon we went to the toy store and bought him his own Barbie...a Cali Girl Barbie complete with surfboard, sunscreen & sunglasses - she even smells like reef oil can you believe it?
Now this doll has not left his side, even after dinner he was very careful to wash his hands so Barbie wouldn't get dirty! To know my child, you would think this was very peculiar because he's such a little boy...complete with 'pop off' sound effects, superhero antics & rough & tumble! Barbie also made a trip to the bank with us this afternoon which brings me to my question...I was on the receiving end of some concerned looks in the bank after people looked at Jesse carrying his precious Barbie.
Even DH asked me what the hell I was doing buying Jesse a Barbie - after I asked him if he would have the same reaction if we had a daughter and she wanted a Ferrari model car (I already knew the answer to the question of course!) and he simmered down then.
What do you think about boys playing with dolls? Would you personally encourage this? Keeping in mind that Jesse has spent the entire afternoon and evening totally enthralled with his 'new friend' and the imaginative play that has ensued is wonderful - no wars, fighting, superheros bashing each other etc just nice, gentle & quiet play.

[reAllytee]

Im slowly bringing Baz around to the idea of Boof having a doll he is a little dubious but agrees that if we had a girl & she wanted a truck or power tools we wouldnt say no.
Ive been looking at a few only to find them very girlie but now i think about it a barbie may be the way to go ! I want him to be open to all different kinds of things to live life without stereotypes etc. I want him to be who he wants to be.
So i found this adorable little Pooh bear baby doll which comes with a bath that turns into a highchair etc at Target so at least DP wasnt worried about that as it isnt too girly. This will teach Boof about being gentle & caring for a baby which i think will give him a sense of acheivement even at this age he is fascinated with babies so i think its win win all round.
But im certainly thinking now that i should dig through my old kids stuff & find my barbie !!!!
Let him be who he wants i say !

[3 bambinos]

My brother always played barbies with me and i don't think it did him any harm just as I'm not scarred from playing with cars.

My nephew who is 20 months recently picked up a ken doll in the waiting room at the doctors and after looking at him for a while turned to his mum and said "Beautiful." My neice didn't know what to think, she just agreed with him and then laughed later when he wasn't looking.

[Cupcake]

I was a Nanny for 11 yrs & every boy I have cared for has gone through a Barbie faze & every father was mortified to see there Son love Barbie so much.
I dont think there is anything wrong with it. Maybe Dads should see it as a good thing, there Son likes Blondes with Long Legs, small waist & big Boobies :p

[Mamaduke]

Jesse got a 'baby' just before I had Lucas and that seemed to be okay...it's just the Barbie thing that confused poor DH and made me feel a little ...what's that word...uncomfortable - and I never feel uncomfortable!!!
Just quietly...Jesse did mention to me, "Mummy, Barbie's got boobies just like you!"
- :eek: but Barbie doesn't have a very very very supportive bra on lol!!!:laughing:

[WeThree]

Awwww MD that is just so lovely :yes:
I think before they become conditioned not to, most little boys love pretty things and dolls and other 'girly' stuff, as well as their trucks and things, and like you pointed out, often they are even more enchanted than a girl would be because they dont get a chance to play with them as often.
Cooper definetly plays with his Bob the Builder set and his cars and garage more than his dolls and things, but he does also love to play dolls, put them to bed, feed them, stuff like that, and he loves the different, more quiet play he has with his older sister when they are playing with her Barbies, he often gets them out even if she is not there, or any other figurines lyeing around and just sits there talking and singing to himself with them.
Like you did, I just dont make a fuss, whatever he wants to play with, he can, I encourage imaginative play, and any sort of dolls or dressing up and role playing is great for that, its so normal, and I think its a shame that more boys arent allowed to just develop and play normally, they shouldnt be made to feel embaressed or wussy or something for wanting to play with more 'girl' type toys, its a shame so many people still seem to do this though :(
Today we stopped at Maccas for a drink and I told Coops he could get one of the toys, he was quiet for awhile then said 'Me not want a dragon' 'Oh why not?' I replied, then it dawned on me..' Ahhh you want one of the little dolls?' 'Yes!' he nodded eagerly, so without any fuss we got a 'girl' toy a lovely little troll thing with long hair that came with a little brush and he sat there with his drink and his little doll carefully brushing and stroking its hair and carried it around like it was a treasure all afternoon.
Its so important that us mums nurture our sons nurturing side, their future wives will thank us for it!! :yes:

[Mamaduke]

their future wives will thank us for it!! :yes:

Well I don't care about them...I highly doubt I'll like them anyway...I mean, I know they won't be good enough for my boys!!! :rolleyes: ;)

[mrsd]

Lol, Mamaduke !

My brother, sandwiched between my two younger sisters, used to play with Barbies - he had a great line in falsetto voices. He now has the best communication skills out of any of my brothers (6 of them) so I think it's been really beneficial.

I must admit that when my son D went through a Barbie stage, I bought him a Ken doll (which DH still objected to) and we named him a very manly Trevor (he was decapitated, like the other Barbies, but that's gender equality for you).

[Mamaduke]

Trevor...now that is a 'man's man' name! :rolleyes:

[Spewiesmum]

My parents brought me a Barbie because they 'thought' I should have one. Apparently I undressed her (it was "Peaches and Cream Barbie"), examined her and then took her to my brothers in the sandpit. The poor thing was never the same after that.:devil6:

I've recently been considering buying a doll for DS. He's only 9 months so it will be in the future. I know DH will crack a 'nana but I really don't see why it would be a drama. I remember the boys I was at kindy with hiding in the play kitchen area like their actions were taboo. I would like DS to be a child and play with whatever he wants to without being subjected to the associated stereotypes.

I've found some cool looking dolls by Furnis Speilwelt Waldorf dolls (in the States of course) that I think would be great. They also have boy and girl bits which would probably push DH over the edge:D

www.islandtreasuretoys.com/waldorf_dolls.html (http://www.islandtreasuretoys.com/waldorf_dolls.html)

[WeThree]

Well I don't care about them...I highly doubt I'll like them anyway...I mean, I know they won't be good enough for my boys!!! :rolleyes: ;)

:laughing:
Very good point C, I too know I will be hard pressed finding a girl that will be good enough for my angels :yes:

[Mamaduke]

Very good point C, I too know I will be hard pressed finding a girl that will be good enough for my angels

There are none...their fathers married them!!! :laughing:

[reAllytee]

Smother in law eat your heart out :laughing: :laughing: :devil6:

[SammieSnail]

:laughing: Mamaduke and Cupcake

I think it's sweet and completely up to you what you let Jesse play with.

I personally wouldn't encourage it...but that's just me...if my son ever wants a barbie I'd just buy him an Action Man or something.....thats what my brothers would play with when we played with dolls and their imaginative minds weren't stunted.

I think this stems from my paranoia after meeting a few 'girly' boys who were allowed to play with dolls etc when they were kids....I know I know...'girly' toys probably didn't cause them to be that way....but to me its not normal.

[Rell]

....but to me its not normal.

But if its the child who is showing an interest in playing with them isn't that "normal"
Is a little girl playing with a car not "normal"

My DS is not even 2 yet and he loves barbies (he does have an older sister). The other day it was just him and I walking down the Barbie asle in the toy store and he got all excited and started yelling "Barbie, Barbie". Yes I got some odd looks but he also got just excited (more actualy) when he saw the trucks.

I think its best to let kids be kids and play with what they want not what sociaty tells them they should be playing with

[Harry&Max's Mummy]

My son plays with dolls and barbies as well.
He was facinated to discover our nieces stash of barbie and he was the quietest i have ever seen him, also there have been many a time i have gone to pick Harry up from d/care and all the boys were inside playing with the girls with the dolls and prams.
I think it is healthy, girls too go through stages of Thomas, dressing up as superman etc. Its all part of growing up

[pestiferous]

It's better to let him choose a doll than force him to play with cars.

If the bigger boys aren't happy with him playing with Barbie, tell them to be thankful he hasn't the hots for 'feral cheryl'

[juliek]

I don't see a problem with it at all. It shows that he reconises the difference between males and females. He uses a different form of play, being much more gentle, caring and respectful.
I'd say you've got a SNAG in the making :D

[jasminesmum]

My eldest ds, now 16, used to carry around barbies head.
He loved her hair and used to twirl it around his finger. The head would go with him everywhere.

He would be so horrified if I told anyone about it now though.:D

[jessgray]

my ds1 plays with the dolls at daycare and at my mum's. they are baby dolls. he rocks them and carries them around like a real baby i have no idea where he picked it up from lol DP doesnt really like ds playing with them but says we cant stop him from playing.i dont mind what ds plays with :)i used to play with cars lol

[KarniF00l]

I honestly think it's perfectly normal for a boy to play with dolls and for girls to play with cars.

[mumma_jessy]

I think it is completely normal, in fact we bought our son a cabage patch doll for his 1st birthday, a little boy one as a comprimise for DF!

If he had been into it i would have been fine with it, but he just likes his cars! He does like my old dolls though, he's in love with ''Lauren'' since i got her out of the shed and washed her, lol!

I also have a baby girl who shows no sign of really liking dolls and would much rather steal her brothers cars, i'm not worriedn. Kids will be kids and will play with what they want to!

[Elijahsmama]

I dont see it as a problem. I think it's just a fad. It'll probaly be at the bottom of the toy box in a week or two. I recently bought a little stroller for DS for his upcomming bday and I didnt hear the end of it from DH till a few days ago but he's adament on him not having a doll. He will have to make do with one of his teddies. He dosent want him growing up to be a poof:rolleyes: MEN!

[Mamaduke]

He dosent want him growing up to be a poof:rolleyes: MEN!
Because that'll do it!!:rolleyes:
When I was little I was more interested in cars, trucks, garages etc and my godmother's son was into dolls. When we'd get presents (me the dolls and him the cars) we would swap...until our Mums decided it was just easier to buy the cars for me and the dolls for him.
BTW...he's not a 'poof' and I'm definately not a lesbian. We're both in marriages with people of the opposite sex so there goes that theory!

(p.s. to use a 'seinfeldism'...not that there's anything wrong with that);)

[Little Gorilla]

if my son wanted a barbie I would get him one - not probs at my end...however, DP would be another story:banghead:

my son loves wheeling around dolly prams.....its so cute.....

[*Chels*]

I dont see a thing wrong with it.
I want to buy Riley a doll and a play kitchen,but my DF is mortified by this.What the hell is wrong with a boy playing pretend kitchen?????Men!!
I think they worry that their sons will end up gay!!So stupid.My brother played with trucks and lego when he was little and he is gay.So I dont agree certain toys will "turn" you gay.Ok thats my wee vent over!

[bubbles28]

I don't see anything wrong at all with it.
My 17mth DS has his own cabbage patch doll.
He also has a bright pink highchair, stroller and cot for it!
He loves pretending to be the cabbage patches mummy! He feeds it, cuddles it and pushes it around in the stroller.

[suemp]

i doubt i would go out and buy ds a doll (as he has never shown any interest in them) but if he did i would have no problem with it. he attends pre school and plays in home corner but when i ask if he plays dress up its a "no thats for girls!!!!" i had to laugh the other day at school they had a pirate day and 1 of the little boys was wearing what looked like his mums boots and all his friends (4 to 5 year olds) were laughing at him for wearing "girl shoes" . how they even know at that age :confused: shows how quick they grow up.

[Grizabella]

I was a Tonka Truck girl! Loved em! But I also had dolls - I still have about 5 Cabbage Patch Dolls that are in Brions room, ready for him to play with. Wasn't a huge fan of Barbie - she used to hang out with GI Joe and go on missions, ride tanks, blow up the enemy. You know - all the regular Barbie type activities!:D

[red crayon]

i reckon this is a bl**dy good question, mamaduke. spencer came across his first barbie-like doll a few months ago and the look on his face was priceless. this doll had lots of long blonde hair and he sort of shook it and stared at it as if to say 'what the hell is this??'

if he was interested in a doll, i'd get him one. there's nothing wrong with bringing out a boy's nuturing side - just as there's nothing wrong with introducing girls to cars and the mechanical toys. makes for more balanced little people.

[lukaelmo]

I think a boy playing with a barbie doll is really cute... and if he is gentle and lovely to it, even better... don't we love it when our partner's are gentle and loving to us?

Anyway, my brother is gay and he played with trucks and climbed trees...

Although I do remember him putting a towel on his head and pretending he had long hair... perhaps that's what did it :laughing:.

[faery]

i'd let my bubba play with dolls. have a bit of an issue with barbie though, that whole unreal image of women (but thats another thread!!)

i used to rope my little brother into playing barbies with me when we were little. i think he secretly liked it! anyway, i played cars and trucks with him. lego was always our favorite, so was dressing up.

[WeThree]

i had to laugh the other day at school they had a pirate day and 1 of the little boys was wearing what looked like his mums boots and all his friends (4 to 5 year olds) were laughing at him for wearing "girl shoes" . how they even know at that age :confused: shows how quick they grow up.

Awwww for some reason I find that really sad :( The dear little fella would have just worn them cause he liked them, and all those awful kids were laughing at him :( Its always the kids whose parents and/or older brothers and sisters make an issue of them playing with 'girly' toys who then make a big deal out of it themselves.


I just dont understand how people have such a hard time understanding normal child development. It is really normal for a small child, boy or girl, to want to play cooking, or dress ups, or babies, because they like to mimic life, that is what they see everyday, they see mummy and daddy cooking, cleaning, changing and feeding their baby brother/sister so in their role playing this is what they like to do. Trust me, it takes more than a boy playing with a doll or something to make him gay :rolleyes: Most homosexuals just are, I knew from when my brother was about 3 that there was something 'different' about him, and he absolutely loved trains, cars and teenage mutant ninja turtles.
Why cant a child just be a child? Why do they have to be made to feel embaressed or silly for wanting to just be themselves?
(please note, this rant is not directed at anyone in particular,lol, just some observations of society in general)

[FourAngelKisses]

Both my boys loved dolls, especially Matthew. He has about 6 in bed with him each night, LOL.

DD loved cars too and has never played with dolls, she thinks they are boring as they don't do anything.

[SammieSnail]

But if its the child who is showing an interest in playing with them isn't that "normal"
Is a little girl playing with a car not "normal"

My DS is not even 2 yet and he loves barbies (he does have an older sister). The other day it was just him and I walking down the Barbie asle in the toy store and he got all excited and started yelling "Barbie, Barbie". Yes I got some odd looks but he also got just excited (more actualy) when he saw the trucks.

I think its best to let kids be kids and play with what they want not what sociaty tells them they should be playing with

I said it's not normal to me.....

Thats just how I feel...and I don't believe it has anything to do with the way I've been brought up like coopsntilly said....I was never taught that there were 'boys toys' and 'girls toys'.

That's why I don't see it as a problem if a little girl plays with cars because I don't see cars and trucks etc as 'boys toys'.
I wouldn't see it as a problem if a boy wanted to play with barbies or dolls in general....but if it was my son I wouldn't encourage it and I don't see anything wrong with steering him towards a differnt toy.