My baby is difficult

[TwoBlue]

Hi all

This is just a call out to all mums who have or have had a difficult baby

My DS #2 Ethan (now 8 months old) is REALLY difficult... i have always thought maybe it was just me not coping with two kids (which i often dont...) but many, many people have now confirmed that i am actually dealing with a highly demanding bubs.... :(

*He is clingy but doesnt take comfort from being held (work that one out if you can :rolleyes: )
*He is hungry all the time but incredibly fussy with his food (except milk and other yummy things!)
*He wants to walk but not roll or crawl !! He actually goes so rigid when you try to put him on the floor because he wants to be on his feet that you have to physically bend him in the middle !!
*If i put him on the floor and walk away ... :eek: God help me he is HYSTERICAL (that non-breathing type cry!!) within seconds !!
*He basically wants me to entertain him all day long and he has one of those cries that you just cant ignore
*Now throw a "typical" 2 year old into that mix....

I am hoping that other mums who have had bubs like this can enlighten me with a time frame where it may start to get easier ... ???
PLEASE.....
or at least if other mums have bubs like this we can give each other big :hugs: because its sooooo hard !!

[Tam-I-Am]

Awww, Tracey, I have no words of wisdom, no words of advice or anything that will make it better - but I'm thinking of you, and I hope things get easier soon! :hugs:

[Funkychicken]

Like Tami, I have no wisdom to offer but can send you some :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and I hope someone out there can offer you some pearls.

[TwoBlue]

Thanks Tami and Sal
I appreciate the hugs and also hope someone has some super dooper advice !!

I knew i was lucky with Samuel being so easy !!

[TwoBlue]

Oh i just wanted to add that i love him to death :D

[Harmony83]

I hear ya!!! My little man was a 'demanding' baby and is turning into a very 'demanding' toddler - but gosh he has so much personality!!!
He started to improve when he was mobile and could explore things.. I don't have any advice for you - sorry - but can offer my heartfelt sympathies! You are doing so well, especially with a toddler!!!

[bindiloo]

Hi Tracey,
you poor thing i do know exactly how you feel. My dd is only 9weeks old and had me walking the house with her in my arms all day long because she would absolutely scream and get hysterical if i put her down on her playmat. I was getting no housework done,i couldnt have a shower or even make myself a coffee. It was so depressing and then she wouldnt sleep longer than 20min naps here and there so i was exhausted.

My mum came over to help and said i had to lay her down on her playmat and let her cry,to get down and talk to her here and there but not to pick her up so she can start to realise that im not just going to hold her all day long. We did this on the thur and fri and by sat we had a new baby.
The crying doesnt kill her and i just keep rotating her from her belly over to her back and usually on her tummy after having a good little cry i give her the dummy and she lays there dozing off then i put her to bed.

Some days she will now lay there and smile at her toys or watch the telly quietly which she would never have done before unless i was holding her and when she does start to grizzle i put her to bed.

I finally have my life back and my sanity plus my dd is alot happier and getting plenty of sleep. She smiles alot more too whereas before she mainly just cried all day.:thumbsup:

[TwoBlue]

My little man was a 'demanding' baby and is turning into a very 'demanding' toddler!!!

ah C#ap :banghead:


He started to improve when he was mobile and could explore things..

This is what i am hoping will be the case also....

Thanks Harmony83... i think.... :laughing:

[TwoBlue]

My mum came over to help and said i had to lay her down on her playmat and let her cry,to get down and talk to her here and there but not to pick her up so she can start to realise that im not just going to hold her all day long. We did this on the thur and fri and by sat we had a new baby.

tried... oh how i have tried to do this....
Obviously due to having a toddler too sometimes Ethan just has to cry it out for a while.... but it hasnt helped the situation or changed his temperament

but thanks Bindiloo i am so glad it worked out for you as its soooo hard not being able to get anything done...

:hugs:

[bindiloo]

I bet you just want to pull your hair out some days.:banghead:

Im afraid i have no advise then but ill send you a hug instead:hugs:

Hope it gets better for you real soon.:)

[TwoBlue]

I bet you just want to pull your hair out some days.:banghead:


actually i am currently bald... :rolleyes:

:laughing:

thanks for the hugs!

[poshBecks]

:hugs: :o You are a great mum!! I just wanted to start with that!!

I hope he gets through this stage soon :kiss:

[TwoBlue]

Thanks Beck :kiss:

[RachWA]

No words of wisdom but just letting you know I am also going through this.

DD is so different to my now 2 &1/2 DS.

She cries if I leave the room, can not and will not be settled by anyone but me, is only happy to be on the floor playing if am within one metre of her, will not take a dummy, WILL NOT TAKE A BOTTLE and is generally grizzly.
It is very draining. With DS I was back at work one day per week by 3 months ( it only took EBM from bottle but at least took a bottle), I was back at the gym by 8 weeks, DD is almost 7 months and I haven't even been able to leave her to go out to dinner with DH.

I also started to think I wasn't coping with 2 and had decided to have no more, but realise that she is just a harder baby.

Regardless of all this I love her very much and love the fact that she is such a mummy's girl,

She also has the most beautiful smile, is wonderfully happy when she is been given lots of attention and I am suer will grow out of these traits and will most probably have a 3rd.

I do feel guilty about the time it takes away from DS especially seeing as I am telling him off all the time (terrible 2's are so true), but really try to make an effort to spend time with him. We have decided next month DD is going to have to start getting used to things and I am going back to them gym, taking DS to swimming lessons (quality time with him) and leaving dd with either dad or nanna whether she cries or not. Nanna will have her for a few hours where she can either have a bottle or nothing and hopefully she will gradually get less dependant on me.

Hope things improve for you. Good luck

[reAllytee]

Wow well you just described my Boof down to a tee !!!!
I feel like asking for a refund today i mean honestly ive had it !
Although i have to say at 16mths he has grown out of a lot of the things you mentioned but only to have different issues.
I think its because they may want to learn quicker or something i cant say my DS is a genius because i wouldnt say thats the problem i think they are adults stuck in kids bodies is the best way i can explain it.
Lots of :hugs: to you its hard but they are gorgeous & im hoping that after all of this Boof ends up being some well paid sports star or even a world famous actor so Mummy will never have to worry about anything when she is old & he has to look after me as pay back :laughing:

[red crayon]

oh tracey..big hugs from me too...no real pearls of wisdom. maybe, as other people have suggested, as ethan gets older and more mobile and more able to make his own choices, things will get a bit easier. some kids aren't happy being dependent on mum and dad. what about health checks?? i guess you've had these but there may be an underlying health issue that's make him unhappy?? i don't know. all i can say is hang in there.

[wattle]

Hi Trace. Some days I struggle so much with one, I don't know how you do it with two!! (Guess I'll find out soon enough though :eek: )

I was reading the cranial osteopathy thread with interest, perhaps something like that might be an option? I know that recently when I ran out of 'traditional' medical options and went to see a chiro and a homeopath and had instant results I wish I had done it earlier. :rolleyes: I was surprised at how simple the remedies were, and also what a wide range of ailments they could heal.

My chiro specialises in bubs and pregnant mums and is just around the corner from you so if you want his number please let me know.

[elissas]

Hey gals,

I like to think of my DS as exceptionally intelligent and aware, which is why he can be harder work :D

That said, it wasn't my first thought every hour tonight when he woke me up, or at 5am, when he decided it was playtime - on my birthday no less!!!!

Wattle - glad to see I'm not alone at this ungodly hour. :wave:

[Areca]

I know this won't help with his frustration at milestones but have you thought about using baby sign language with him? He is at an age where he could start to sign back (once getting used to the signs) and then he'd have other ways to communicate instead of just crying....it could help (like he could sign when he was hungry/tired etc.)

[Rell]

:hugs: to you I so know what you are going through. My DS was a very difficult baby. He hated his bottles up until about 11mths, feed through the night up until 9mths and would always cry as soon as I was out of sight. We call him our little koala because he will cling to us like one of those toy clip on koalas. Like your son Nath would always want to be on his feet, we baught one of those safty first activity centres where they stand in it. It was a life saver! Nath grew out of his clingyness at about 15mths but this week (21mths) it apears to have returned :(
Unfortunatly like one of the other mums said I now have a difficult toddler. I find it so sad that when I look at photos of my little baby he was never happy:no:
I hope today is a better day for you, I would always tell my self it can only get better from here.
Good luck

[melbryan]

My Ds is exactly how you described and I have put it down to that some children are happy to play on there own, amuse themselves and others are very demanding. I am happy to tell you it gets better but there will be alot of heartache along the way. My son is a real whinger and wanted to stand before he could sit, wanted to walk before he crawled and now wants to talk sentences before he can say a few words. I think they just want to be older and want things just so so and are not satisfied until they are (much like my hubby). If your DS1 is not like this it means they have entirely different personalities. Some good points about my DS is that he is a very confident boy, social and has a heap of personality and wants to share it with the world. He makes us laugh and CRY everyday. I love him but if he could be attached to me every minute of every day I am sure he would take that up. Because he wants so much independance (loves his mum though) I make him do things for himself eventhough he is two even if he makes mistakes. He feels successful if he does this. He just whinges and whinges to take a lid off a bottle or reach something he can't get. I have learnt to not put things into temptation so he can start whinging. I can already see what kind of child he will be and I am sure he will hold his own and stand up to the bullies in the playground.
He is sick today so he is a nightmare and I am due for DS2 in a week form today so I am over it.
I took him to playland and a bigger kid took his mates train, his mate let him but my DS grabbed it off him and gave it back to his mate. I am glad he won't be pushed around. Wait out the storm.

[AM]

It is just so spooky to read your OP, it exactly describes my son. (6 months)
It is incredibly hard with two close in age, without adding those sorts of factors!

Was your baby colicy?

Louie was for about 4-5 months, and I got so bad that I was suicidal for a while there, as my partner was away driving for weeks at a time, and all our family lives in another country.

Sooo....

Huge hugs to both of us! And everyone else who is going through the same thing!

I repeat to myself (A LOT) This too shall pass... This too shall pass...;)

[kymmy]

My first child was my demanding child.
I was so exhausted in that first year.
She was almost always breastfeeding- forever on my lap feeding.
I felt attached to her and felt trapped in a way.
She is now an independant and secure child doing very well at school.
She co -sleeps but we are happy.
My boys went so difficult.

:hugs: For those dealing with this - I know it isn't easy.

[Angelmist♥]

Awww Trace HUGE :hugs: for you sweetie.What is it with these November bubs huh?? Ellie is my demanding child too, hmm must be the scorpio coming out in them!
Sorry darl, I really don't have any idea's since I'm still in the same boat,but if you want to vent feel free anytime;)

[kadownie]

I borrowed 'High Need Babies' or something like that by Dr William Sears- it helped me a lot to understand some of my son's neediness and fussiness.

Big hugs to you- it's so demanding being a mother! You're doing a great job!!

[faery]

"fussy baby book" by william & martha sears. the term "high-need babies" is so much nicer than "demanding"!!! my one is the same. very intense, will not sleep without his boobie in mouth, will not be amused by toys, must have someone intreracting with him at all times, happiest when being carried and held, and don't even think about sitting down on the job!!:laughing:

the book was a great help, as it is the only "baby manual" that even remotely covered what my son is like. we're still muddling through. co-sleeping makes a world of difference and investing in some really good slings. a variety, cause these little bubbas are picky!

we regularly go to the chiro and just take each day as it is. :hugs: to you, and all the other mama's. I always get comments on "how alert" he is :rolleyes: if they only new how much i sometimes wish he would be a little less alert and give mama a break.

[TwoBlue]

wow ! Thanks everyone for your support, insight and advice

Its so great to know i am not alone !!
Many of you have described traits that my DS has to a T !!

especially when Faery said "and don't even think about sitting down on the job!!"
:laughing: This is SO my Ethan !! I had to laugh out loud !!

:hugs: to all of you who are going through hard times with your bubs, i am sure it will get easier one day and hopefully then we will be able to actually enjoy our wonderful children ! (not that i dont smile at Ethan 100 times every day .. and cry 100 times each day !! :rolleyes: )