Going to bed after your co-sleeper

[Bubmum]

I try this....I lay down with DD and feed her to sleep, then sneak off. Invariably, she wakes up and finds out I have gone, and comes searching for me. This usually wakes her up, and she decides that her "bedtime" is a cat-nap,and then she is awake until the wee hours.
It is really starting to become a problem..But I do not want to go to sleep at 7.30. At night, when she is asleep..that is the only time I get some time away from my little dumpling

[Bubs'n'Roses]

Hi

I used to have this issue with Spawn, she was a very clingy co sleeper.

I had to lay down on the couch, and she would fall asleep and I would lay there with her, she was fine if I got up to do stuff from there. And gradually I moved her to her room, would lay down, pretend I was asleep, then move. I would sneak a toy in beside her, a pillow even.

Its a hard thing to do but eventually, it will work. :)

[Myztiks#1Fan]

i did the same as bones and put a pillow usually beside coop so he felt like someone was there as something was touching him. i had to lay down with him tonight otherwise he would of never gone to sleep and after pretending to be asleep for about half hour, he got the picture and went to sleep. last week i fell asleep with him as i was exhausted but tonight i made sure i kept the front door open so i could get back up as i had washing and a few other things to do

[southcoastmum]

I have struggled with the same problem through two children. Last week we pushed my 9 month old to sleep in her pram in the lounge room. Everytime she stirred we rocked her back to sleep. When I am ready for bed I just take with me and feed her to sleep. It's has worked amazingly well. I get adult time, and my baby goes to sleep without crying! It takes me 5-20 mins to push her to sleep.
Good luck!

[CluckySC]

I have my son's cot in the bedroom (he's 22 months) and after he falls asleep in my arms (still breastfed to sleep half the time, the other half he just lies down and goes to sleep while I sing to him) I just put him down in the cot. He'll usually stay asleep for 1.5 to 3 hours in the cot before he starts tossing and turning and getting ready to wake up.

When I go to bed I just take him with me. I'm lucky in that he doesn't need to snuggle while he sleeps now because I'm one of those "I love hugs until I want to sleep then DONT TOUCH ME" people :laughing: I think he is too. He'll roll over in the night, wrap his arms around me, have boobie, snuggle, then roll right over before he settles ;)

[supa_star323]

I put ds to bed by laying with him till he asleep. I move him so he isn't touching me a million times before he falls asleep. I then tuck Teddy under his arm when he is asleep and I leave the room. I shut the door on the way out and then when I go in three or fours later he is usually just waking up for some water.

[MsMummy]

I've found I have to wait until he's really tired, then I lie down and feed him and surround him with pillows.

If he goes to sleep at 9pm, then he doesn't want another feed for several hours.

Will she just play with her toys for a while by herself after a certain time of night so you can do some things for yourself?

[crazymuma]

Very soft music playing in the room helps mine.

I think its more about how quiet it is when you aren't there - think about it - they get used to listening to someone breathing, moving, coughing, snoring etc so the silence and lack of movement can wake them.

Worth a try

[JabberJaw]

My DD was the same till recently. I brought a few little fluffy stuffed toys and put one in her hand to sleep, that worked for a few nights and she had her fav mini bear to hold...but then she cottoned on. Now she has a cushion, i got it from ikea, but it isn't square, its long as a pillow but half as wide. When she goes to sleep i shove that were i was :laughing: when i go in to check her she is always cuddling it, as if it was me. Works a treat (so far as she hasn't realised!)

[Hollywood]

DS (turns 3 in 1 week), usually feeds to sleep on the sofa and I carry him to our bed asleep. Tonight he was asleep by 7pm but has come out twice (9pm, and 11pm). Both times I picked him up, he snuggled into my shoulder and I took him straight back to bed and BF him back to sleep. Oh, and the second time he went to the toilet and BF back to sleep after that.

[Hollywood]

My DD was the same till recently. I brought a few little fluffy stuffed toys and put one in her hand to sleep, that worked for a few nights and she had her fav mini bear to hold...but then she cottoned on. Now she has a cushion, i got it from ikea, but it isn't square, its long as a pillow but half as wide. When she goes to sleep i shove that were i was :laughing: when i go in to check her she is always cuddling it, as if it was me. Works a treat (so far as she hasn't realised!)

Awww, that's so cute!

[javic]

you didn't say how old she is, bubmum...

my son was the same - if we put him down to sleep at 7pm he would not stay asleep unless we were with him. over time, with persistance, we managed to teach him that it was bedtime at 7pm. we did a few things to differentiate it from his normal naps. we started with bath, bottle, book, bag, bed. if he woke up after that i would usually hear him crying and go in to put him back to sleep. if he crawled out it made it harder, but if we persisted, took him back in, didn't let him stay up or leave the room, then eventually he went back to sleep.
i don't recall how long this took until he got really easy to put back to sleep... i think we only ever stuck with it at around 11 months when my husband learnt to put my son to sleep. if i didn't have my husband's help i would never have had the patience to do it alone - because, like you, i just wanted those few hours after 7pm to myself.
anyway, now he is pretty good. we've relaxed the bedtime and dropped the whole routine because it was too regimented for us, but he still sleeps pretty well. if we put him to sleep at 7pm he might wake once or twice but is easy to get back to sleep. maybe once a month he will not go back, so sometimes we just get him up and bring him back to bed when we're ready to sleep. but mostly he's great, and can sleep from 7pm until i go to bed at midnight without needing us.
keep trying, i think you might need hubby to help, but if you teach your DD that once it's bedtime then there's no getting up again, then i think she'll eventually get the picture.

[quirkymum]

Put on a CD of the ocean (no music, etc) on repeat function. It makes a steady, shushing noise, which seemed to keep my DS asleep for us. When the go through a sleep cycle, and get to shallow sleep, they can wake up easily if it is too quiet, or cold or whatever, as they know you're not there. I think the waves sound like breathing?

[miraclebaby]

You don't say how old DD is. I think it is different depending on their age. My DS was a lot like that up until about a year old. I used 'white noise' cds, putting pillows around him, soothing music but the best thing that ever worked was cutting out naps. First of all going to one nap a day and then to no naps a day (at around 2 1/2 years) and making sure he got heaps of physical exercise, outdoor play etc. Now, at 3, he is a pretty good sleeper and will crash out within minutes of reading him a story and generally won't wake until morning because he is so tired. I never thought I would see the day but it has arrived! It gives me much craved for time to myself.
Only problem I have is I actually miss him sometimes when he is simply asleep...

[DaughteroftheForest]

I co slept with my DS for 2 years and would usually BF him to sleep on a U-pillow and then put him down on the bed with that. It made him feel like he was still being held. I only started doing this after he was 6 months though, as was worried about suffocation risk :confused: but it worked great and gave me a few hours of blissful baby-free time :yelclap: