#7 and feeling guilty

[jaesmummy]

I feel like I'm letting other people down. I'm pregnant with #7. Everyone is saying "It's a girl this time" , all the time and I feel this huge expectation that this baby has to be a girl. But I just don't think it is. I think it's a boy. It feels just the same as all the boys did. I would so love a girl but I am trying to keep telling myself that a boy would be equally as cool. I love my boys and think they're awesome. My hubby especially tells people "It's definately a girl". I know that he will be ok if it's not, but I feel like I should feel guilty and responsible for not conceiving the "right" sex. This is our last baby for sure so is our last chance to have a girl. This is the first time ever that I've almost not wanted to know. I'm scared of my own baby!

[Readyfor4]

Remember its actually your DH's sperm that chooses the sex, not you, so please dont feel that its your responsibility to produce a girl iykwim?

I know what you mean. Theres so much pressure. I have family members telling me that "we need more girls" "no more boys" stuff like that. I dont think they realise how hard it is without those comments.

On a side note, alot of my friends that have had both sexes havent had any different pregnancies. So who knows. But good luck :)

[reba1975]

I am expecting number 7 too and already have 4 boys and 2 girls but both my fiancee and I would love for this one to be a girl.Our last 2 pregnancies have been boys and as I'll be 35 a few months after this one is born,I don't really want to try again after it.

[BlessedWithBlue]

I know how you feel hun, I am expecting my sixth boy and before i found out we were having boy number six absolutely everyone was convinced this was our girl. I had that "feeling" all along tho that this would be a boy and of course i was right again.

I totally get how you feel you're letting people down but tbh i have gone thru the same thing and i really dont care about making other people happy any more. I stressed over it enough at first. Time to concentrate on us and our gorgeous boys and not what everyone else thinks. We get what we get for a reason i think and personally this sixth little boy for us is supposed to be on his way and we couldnt be more thrilled.

GL hun hope you hear pink but definately remember it's not your fault and you dont need to make any one else happy but yourself xxx

[Countrydeb]

Totally get how you are feeling....i felt a bit of pressure to have a girl too....but i know that the strongest desire was from myself.....people don't think about how you are feeling regarding this,like,hello you'd love pink yourself but have to keep a handle on your emotions as you still have to love this one even if's bub's a he...........As for blessed with blue,congrats on such a wonderful outlook regarding 6 boys,i was devastated,i mean devastated to find out my 4th[and last] child was another boy and still feel totally ripped off ,i admire you.....

[MrsD77]

I just have to say WOW!! You are all amazing ladies! I have 3 kids and am struggling while you all have 4 or more! WOW I'm in awe...how do you do it?!

[sarahsboys]

I really hope that you get your girl. We have just found out that we are expecting our 4th boy, and i really felt different this time and thought in my heart it was a girl. We also tried the Shettles method and I thought I did everything right, but I guess it wasnt to be. Now just trying to get my head around that I will never have a girl, I just always thought I would for some reason. I am trying to be more positive and think that we were given this 4th boy for a reason, and of course he will be loved and adored just like his brothers.

[sweetseven]

I have seven daughters, and after three felt that I wouldn't know what to do with a boy, so I was happy to keep having the same gender.

I did have people constantly suggesting that this one had to be a boy from the third one onwards. And after having #6, another mother at school ran up to me shouting "pink or blue? oh, pink!" and turned and walked off in apparent discust.

With #5, my mother insisted that she was going to be a boy, even though I was confident she was another girl. Every day, my mother would ask, "How's Daniel?" which was the boys name we had selected. When she was finally born, I was left with a sense of loss, what had happened to Daniel? It really felt like I had lost a twin, and it was a confusing and emotional time. (This was very odd considering I expected her to be a girl all throughout the pregnancy and that my mother was misguided. But her constant reinforcing was enough to generate this sense of loss.)

With #7, the pregnancy was different (I had severe morning/noon/night sickness), and this was also definately going to be my last child. (Her father raced out and got a vasectomy halfway through.) I was half-expecting that she might've been a boy this time, and was often thinking about little Rafael (the boys name we chose for this baby) during the pregnancy, and looking at little boys (approx 2yr-3yr) playing in playgrounds or in shopping centres, and thinking, we might have one of those soon. I think it was more trying to condition myself to the alien concept of having a son instead of a daughter, so it wouldn't be such a shock if it happened. When she was born, another girl, and I commented, "No little Rafael" but that was it. There was no emotional upset like there had been with #5.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and this little baby will be blessed to have six big brothers, whether he turns out to be another boy himself, or she is a little girl for her brothers to dote on. You are having this baby as part of your family, not to appease others.

[Mummita]

And after having #6, another mother at school ran up to me shouting "pink or blue? oh, pink!" and turned and walked off in apparent discust.

:eek: that is so rude! I can't believe she did that. jaesmummy I hope you get a girl if that's what YOU want. I think you Mums (& Dads) with big families are amazing women, big families are so beautiful.

Good luck jaesmummy!

[amnic]

jaesmummy I read your post & felt like I'd written it! I'm only on bub #3 but have 2 beautiful boys & I'm so sick of people saying Oh it's a girl, it's got to be a girl, you need a girl.... and all the other comments.

My standard response is I have 2 beautiful boys, why wouldn't i want more like that??!

I also find myself constantly saying it's a boy, I can just feel it, because i don't want to allow myself to think it's a girl cause if it's not I don't want to look at my beautiful baby boy & think Oh, your not want I wanted... know what I mean??

[starposs12]

I just have to say WOW!! You are all amazing ladies! I have 3 kids and am struggling while you all have 4 or more! WOW I'm in awe...how do you do it?!


I too am wondering this!!! :yelclap::yelclap: to you all!! I have no kids yet and can only imagine myself and hubby having 2, maybe 3 as I dont think we could cope with anymore. You all must be amazing mothers, and very patient and strong!! :)

[muls]

Jaesmummy it is so hard when you are battling with your feelings and the feelings of others. Having a baby is so emotional regardless and when you have 6 boys and wouldn't mind a girl the pressure shouldn't be put on you to keep being told that this one has to be a girl. I have 2 boys and really wanted the second to be a boy so I could have the boys so close and get them to be best friends but we are trying for our 3rd in April after my little one's 1st birthday and I would REALLY like a girl. I hate that everyone has already put the pressure on - you know the next one will be a girl or you know your destined to have boys. I hope that your baby is healthy and that you know no matter what feelings you have your obviously a gr8 mum already!! (I hate that people judge you for feelings you can't control - I know I'll be disappointed no that it's another boy just that I won't get to have a girl)

[jaesmummy]

:laughing: I can't believe it - it IS ANOTHER BOY!!!!
bbbbbbbbbbbbbooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Oh well, I guess it's meant to be. And look at the bright side - plenty of hand me down clothes, one type of nappy, at school they can have the same uniforms (two will be in the same year and one will only be in the next year up) and we will never have the expense of doll houses and Dora the Explorer stuff! So we can keep the little blue bikes and we don't have to repaint the walls, and I will never have to suffer through Bratz and Barbies!!! (Oh , how I secretly want to). My washing will remain blue and Iggle Piggle will stay the man of the hour. And when they grow up, these fine young men will have beautiful wives and they will love their mother and give her grand babies. All girls!!!!!! And I'll have more baby girls around me than I could ever dream of!! Aren't I lucky now? :laughing:

[Countrydeb]

Congratulations on such a positive outlook jaesmummy....or at you just telling yourself this..........i know you'll love him and he'll delight you everyday but i feel for you[as i feel for me].not to lessen anything with your new little man,a pink one would have just been nice for you and your dh..........you sound like a great mum to your children,take care of you,you've had a pretty rough trot this pregnancy by the sounds,and lets just be the best mil's there is[i read all the mil threads so i'm learning what not to do].......Ps i have just found out i'm to be a grandmother:eek:...and part of me is praying it won't be a girl ,what if i have issues with that!!!!!!!

[RedPanda]

Wow, that is a lot of boys! Congratulations on your sixth little boy - I bet they're all adorable. I have two sons so far and am pregnant with a third (sex unknown) child. I understand the pressure that you felt. It's just in the little things people say and do. Most of them probably don't know how it makes you feel and they just think they're taking an interest. I resent the implication that my boys were "trials" and if I have a girl this time, I've succeeded.

I don't have a burning desire for a girl. I'd love one, but I'd truly equally love a boy. I've been surrounded by women and girls most of my life (from an all-girl family) so boys have been a new thing for me!

I think it's terrific that you've found out the sex. If you need to process your feelings, it's better to do it while you're still pregnant I reckon.

Best of luck with your troop of boys! FWIW, I have a wonderful MIL (she has no daughters) and she is just terrific. Most of her daughters-in-law are close with her because she's so welcoming and interested in us and our kids. I'm sure you'll also be like this!

[Hollywood]

:laughing: I can't believe it - it IS ANOTHER BOY!!!!
bbbbbbbbbbbbbooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Oh well, I guess it's meant to be. And look at the bright side - plenty of hand me down clothes, one type of nappy, at school they can have the same uniforms (two will be in the same year and one will only be in the next year up) and we will never have the expense of doll houses and Dora the Explorer stuff! So we can keep the little blue bikes and we don't have to repaint the walls, and I will never have to suffer through Bratz and Barbies!!! (Oh , how I secretly want to). My washing will remain blue and Iggle Piggle will stay the man of the hour. And when they grow up, these fine young men will have beautiful wives and they will love their mother and give her grand babies. All girls!!!!!! And I'll have more baby girls around me than I could ever dream of!! Aren't I lucky now? :laughing:

Hope you don't mind me popping in to say congratulations :goodvibes:

My grandma raised 4 boys and I've always thought there's something very special about mums of all-boys :yes:

Like you say, you will have daughters in laws and undoubtedly end up with girl grandchildren :goodvibes:

[jaesmummy]

Thanks for your support everyone - and CountryDeb - CONGRATULATIONS!! How exciting to be a granny in waiting! :laughing: :smiliedance: Goodness, can I ask how old you are? You must be a young g'ma. My oldest is nearly 19 and madly in love. But I hope it will still be a couple more years before babies come about. I'm 41 this year and still having my own, let alone getting grand children yet as well. Well, that's great news, and I think you will be a wonderful grandma just like you are a wonderful mother - no matter what sex the baby is. I bet if it's a girl, it will be one spoilt little baby tho!! :flowerz:

[sarahsboys]

wow congrats Jaesmummy on your 6th BOY! I am due with my 4th Boy and I thought that was a lot.... I think that some of us are destined to have only boys or mainly boys:laughing: And some else said that once the baby is born, no one cares what the sex, I think and hope this is so true. I am really hoping that once my blue bundle is here, that all my desires for a girl will dissapear, because I really wanted a girl too as this is my last.

[amnic]

jaesmummy, congrats on your newest beautiful boy, I'm sure you will love him & treasure him no matter what once he's here, I completely agree that some people are destined to be mums to all boys, and be wonderful at it! And I also agree that it takes a special woman to do it :D (I think I'm going to be an all boy mum, but just to 3 :p) and I come from an almost entirely male family!

I have 4 older brothers (plus 2 stepbrothers & 1 stepsister), now between everyone there are so far 9 grandchildren, only 1 is a girl & on my dads side of the family there were 26 grandchildren, only 6 of us are girls!! So I'm used to male dominated families & I think they are great!

I also like to think of something I heard a comic say years ago "when you have a son you only have to worry about your son, when you have a daughter you have to worry about everyone elses sons!!" LOL :p

[mishla]

i have 4 beautiful girls and looking at concieving again this year i would love this one to be a boy of course but i love my girls so it would be equally as beautiful to be another girl i want the boy for my husband i feel he is missing out on the father son relationship he craves secretely so much and of course a little monster running around the house would be pretty cool i must admit i am a bit sick of barbie lol bring on the trucks i don't think some people realise that we are already feeling what they are saying so sometimes its like rubbing salt into the wound hope you gat what you want keep us updated!

[Josh]

I had really bad gender disappointment when I found out I was expecting another son who is my 7th son, but I also have 4 dd's, but you soon get over it as soon as you see their beautiful face all that wanting a girl/boy stuff goes out the window, my son is 4 and a half mths old now and is my last bub. Best of luck with all your boys.