View Full Version : Didn't get a "pigeon pair"
Hi, Im not really sure I would call it a major "dissapointment" but probably if im honest there is a little bit of it there.
Im 38 and this was my last pregnancy. I already have a DD and was hoping for a DS pigeon pair. Everyone said "oh you are having a boy" all the time (especial MIL :hair:).
Also my sister who has a DD 5 months older than mine is expecting in April and is having a Boy. When she told me this I thought ... Oh I bet I have a girl now.
Even the midwife said "it's a boy oh hangon no its a girl", so I think all those factors are combining to have a bit of an impact.
Anyone with two girls, wish they had a boy???
ps dont' get me wrong I love my little girl, and as they are close in age hoping they grow up to be the best of friends ... im just torturing myself of what might have been
I hear you loud and clear.
I really wanted one of each and that would have been it - only want 2 children.
Now I have 2 girls and I hope for the same as you that they are great friends and I do everything I cvan even now to try and get the bond between them really strong, just by talking to the oldest mainly about how wonderful she is with her baby sister and how her sister looks up to her etc etc
Anyway, DH and I are now talking about No. 3 but purely on the chance that we may get a boy!! BUT when I think of having 3 :dizzy: girls it really puts me off. I honestly don't want 3 girls!!:no:
I think we may go for it anyway. The other thing was the girls are enrolled in a private school and so when I think of 3 anything I think of that so much more expense. 3 at a private school, 3 of everything!! Whether it is 2 girls and 1 boy or 3 girls.
I just wish that I had 1 boy 1 girl and my 'problems' (I know it is not a real problem) wouldn't exist.
I'm not in the exact same situation as you but I thought i'd reply anyway.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and it will be our final child. To be honest this baby was a 'surprise', we were happy with our 2 boys.
We found out that this bub is a boy too. I didn't think it bothered me and don't get me wrong I'll love him unconditionally but I have found myself becoming increasingly sad that I'll never have a daughter. The stupid thing is before i got pregnant this time it never bothered me. I was just glad to have 2 of the same sex. I hoped they will be as close as I am with my sister.
I know there's nothing I can do about it, I know in the long run it won't matter at all. I am truly blessed to have healthy, beautiful children but it still hurts and I can't change that either.
Don't get me started on this subject.....Totally know how you feel and can understand it......seems so simple for others to have a blended family ,i wonder how can it seem so easy for me to have bluddy boys,[love em to bits] just really really really wanted a pink one......i am 43 in Feb so no more for me i think and with no guarantees,too risky me thinks,certainly do not want 5 boys :eek:.........i wonder if i'll ever come to terms with it feel ripped off and very sad at times.......:crying:.....just gotta give you a :hugs:.....
Yeah, 3 boys here... I'd LOVE a girl, but probably never to be...
Take care, it stings at times, but most of the time you are counting your blessings!! :)
I love this forum. I am so glad that there is finally a place where we can come and truly talk about gender disappointment!
Ruby_Slippers I am another with 3 boys, but i am sure the feelings are the same no matter which gender you were wishing for! Big hugs to you.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I did long for a son, and will admit there was some disappointment at the u/s scan when I first heard I was having a girl. I had convinced myself I was having a boy, the pregnancy was different, in my dreams bubs was a boy and DH and I both wanted one, as did both sets of grandparents etc
Plus I had mil and my DD1 in the room during the end of the scan and remember the mixed feelings, the joy of seeing this healthy baby and the disappointment that she didn't wasn't a he.
However, I very quickly overcame this (mainly through self reflection, meditating etc) and just embraced that I was having a girl, and luckily by the time she arrived, I had no regrets and love having two girls. By the way, we aren't having any more kids, so there was no 'oh we can try again next time'
A friend of mine yesterday gave birth to her 2nd child, another girl and her DH was very set on having a boy, so DH rang to congratulate them and spoke to her hubby about it, and I think in time they will have no regrets about 2 girls.
RS :hugs::hugs::hugs: to you!!
Aw I know how you feel, I've got 4 boys. My eldest are 7 and almost 6 and they really are best mates :) I always wanted a little girl and I guess that it's lucky that I had my kids young and that I have always planned on having a big family because now I'm pregnant with a little girl.
It is tough, I was almost at the point that I didn't think I'd have a 5th baby and it was hard coming to terms that I wouldn't get that mother/daughter bond(and yes I do have a stepdaughter but it's not the same, I do love her to bits but she has her own mother that she is with most of the time). I panicked when I found out I was pregnant again, totally unplanned and not at the best stage of our lives atm(in our first year of business).
So yes it's very real to feel some sort of disappointment, I'm sure if I'd had 4 girls I would have wanted a little boy so much.
Hi, another one with 3 boys and pregnant with prob #4 boy. I'm already experiencing dissapointment and I havent even found out yet. I really, really want a girl, and it doesnt help that everyone I see, even people I dont know say "Oh you must really be wishing for a girl this time!" But I think you are right, down the track I dont think it will matter when they are all grown up, its just I keep thinking of what I am missing out on not having a girl.
I always thought I would end up with sons mainly because I didn't have a sister, just brothers, pretty silly really. But I have 2 beautiful little girls and we are wrapped with our pigeon pair. There is exactly 2 years difference and at the ages of 3 and 1 they are already the best of mates.
One lady said to me after the birth of my first daughter, "it doesn't matter what you have from now on,you got your little girl" At the time it didn't mean much to me, but now I can see where she is coming from.
After my 3rd boy i kept telling myself that i wasnt dissapointed but deep down i think i was.
While i was pregnant with number 3, i got from everyone even strangers "oh this one has to be a girl!" but nope out popped my 3rd little man. I love all my boys to death and wouldnt live without them!! We then decided that we werent going to have anymore(the 1st two are from a previous marriage) but to my surprise i was already pregnant when that choice was made and im very lucky to have that little girl. But now i think my boys were easier:laughing:
Not sure what my point is :o... I guess yes i was dissapointed i didnt get the pigeon pair the first time around
First of all congrats on your pregnancy!! :)
My sister went through this after she had her 3rd girl and her DH said that she was the last child and then her youngest almost died now she always says to people (even though she really wants a boy) when they ask if she'll try for #4 "i look around me and count three blessings and i dont care" (although she does care, but not so much anymore) because she is lucky to have 3 beautiful children.
You will get through it :hugs:, its something i always think about because DF is 1 of 8 with 2 sisters and 5 brothers, his dad is one of 11 with 2 sisters and 9 brothers and his nonno is 1 of 13 with 2 sisters and 11 brothers.
I know a family of 7 children with only 1 boy being the 3rd oldest.
thanks for your replies everyone, it is now nearly three weeks in and my thoughts on having a boy are fading. Im so in love with DD2 - I think i know what you mean bellaangel about having girls. I only hope DP bonds as well with them when they get older and takes them fishing or Im stuck on the ballet run :)
what is anoying me now is other people saying "oh now you will have to try for a boy" all the time ... it is really insensative.
kayla Lilyz mum
I have a dd and just found out im having another girl, I'm very glad that i decided to find out the sex at the last minute... I had myself convinced it was a boy!
I'm totally over the moon, though i have to admit i am a little dissapointed it wasn't the boy i thought i was having, i only wanted 2 kids and now i don't know what i want lol
I have a DS who is 19 months old and am 22 weeks pregnant with baby no.2 and feel really 'presured' to produce a girl this time mainly by both sets of grandparents:hair:.
We have decided not to find out the gender of baby no.2 but I must admit the whole idea of a baby girl is really appealing to me but I don't let myself imagine a baby girl as I don't want ot be disappointed:no:.
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