Baby hates dummy - I need help!

[Tea Lady]

:eek: Oh no! I can't believe I'm asking for settling advice again!! I thought everything was going fine (that was my first mistake) and then my 6.5month old decided she doesn't like her dummy anymore. She used to reasonably often settle herself with a dummy and my shirt to hold (ie a shirt I wasn't wearing!) and if she wouldn't do that for some reason we'd rock her to sleep or I'd feed her. Bub has suddenly decided she doesn't like her dummy (something to do with having teeth I think) and so we've had to go back to rocking her to sleep. We've tried leaving her in her cot to settle, and she plays happily until she gets really tired in which case she just cries and won't respond to patting or talking or anything else I can think of. She does go to sleep fairly fast when rocked, which is one good thing, but then it's often hard to get her into the cot without her waking up (in which case she screams again and wakes up fully) so we end up holding her for ages till she's deeply asleep - NOT PRACTICAL!!

I've had a look at Elizabeth Pantley's book, which I like the philosophy of, but I've tried some of the things she suggests, like putting her down awake but sleepy, but my bub just wakes straight up and screams and won't calm down. So we seem stuck at step one - rocking and rocking and rocking and rocking.

If anyone has any advice, I would be very glad to hear it because I HATE to leave my baby crying, but I get so frustrated when she takes ages to settle.

Thanks. Lucy


PS does anyone else have the problem that they feel really awkward telling people that they "help" their baby go to sleep (like by feeding or rocking or whatever)? I always feel like they must be thinking I'm a real pushover mum or that I must have done something badly wrong that my baby can't go to sleep by herself by now (or maybe it's just that I thought she'd do it by now - they're probably not thinking anything of the sort. I never thought being a mum would make me so paranoid).

[Chickadee]

Hi Luwa,

I can't give details, but I remember catching the tail end of some tv program on settling where instead of rocking the baby, the parent's rocked the cot. It was on wheels and they stood at one end and pushed it gently back and forth. I guess it helps break part of the cycle of bub wanting to be held and rocked, till eventually they sleep on their own in the cot? It might be worth getting in touch with a parenting help group or mothercraft nurse for specific advice (we have Ngala here in WA, there are listings here on BubHub for similar clinics in other states).

Also, you could try a different dummy shape, perhaps orthodontic if she has a normal one.

Good luck.

[jembelina]

hi luwa,

please don't feel bad for rocking/feeding bub to sleep! We never went to a settling class and rocked or fed our DS to sleep all the time - i also felt like i couldn't tell anyone!! i actually think more mums do it than tehy let on... cos lets face it cuddles are nice adn who wants to listen to their baby cry?? Anyway, myDS is about the same age and we were having similar problems - rocking to sleep then waking on put down and there was no way we could put him to bed half awake as this wwould result in him being fully awake!

i realise you are probably reluctant to try it , but we have recently given controlled crying a go. We really didn't want to, but i was getting really frustrated and cranky so decided to try it. it has been almost two weeks and our home is so much more relaxed and peaceful. I still frequently let him fall asleep feeding (i just can't see the harm) but i feel confident to put him down as i know how to get him to sleep if he wakes. Anyway, it seems to be working for us, so i just thought i'd let you know :) if you are interested let me know and i can let you know the technique we used (as we found it hard to find one)

[TwoBlue]

Like Martha said i would try a different kind of dummy, a different shape and even size, this could help?

Good luck

[Tea Lady]

Sorry - meant to reply earlier. Thanks for your replies girls. We are having slightly more success with the dummy (at least she doesn't slam her lips shut now when she sees it!) but she's still not putting herself to sleep during the day - she usually manages to at night though -?? I'm enjoying putting her to sleep more though because she's started putting her head down on my shoulder for a cuddle as she goes to sleep - something she's never really done before, so I suppose every cloud has a silver lining!


Have a good day!

Lucy

[our little treasures]

Don't feel bad your a mum who is following your instincts. My dd is 18mnths and we still climb into bed and stay with her until she falls asleep. We know have a newborn who so far falls asleep by himself or on the boob. I love putting dd to sleep and actually dread the day it stops my ds will have the same if he wants. Each child is different and your not weak.
Eventually the rocking and feeding to sleep stops and we just lay with her or cuddle her to sleep. Babies were never suppose to be away from their mums this is why breast milk is low calorie. Do what feels good and right for you and your child.

[AlisMum]

My dh & I were given one of those cuddle rugs & our dd loves it. I've now got 2 of them (whilst 1 is being washed she has the spare one to cuddle). A few of the mums in my mothers group use them too & have the same result. something to think about anyway.

my dd is now 9mths & I still use the dummy sometimes (and I know I shouldn't, but :p to that idea) when shes really cranky. I can't stand hearing her crying out for me & my dh expects me not do anything about it (controlled crying? not in this house chickies!). :D

I would rather she grows up knowing that I will be there for her when she needs me & she doesn't have to reach the point of screaming and/or distress to get my attention. My dh thinks otherwise but I'm the one who spends all day every day with her, so he better get used to it. ;)

Kate 26yrs
Wayne 27yrs
Alisha Sara 9mths