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BaDaBing
26-07-2006, 07:44
I need to know if I am over reacting.

My husband recently started a 6 month fast track uni course which is the first time he has opened a text book in 12 years. He started off really motivated and excited but as the first assignment loomed in he barely studied at all basically leaving it to the last minute. Anyway for the last few nights I have been busting my butt trying to proof read and reword it for him aswell as getting everything else done and then finally going to bed with a huge headache. I am a mature aged uni student aswell so I know what it is like to have to try and write an assignment when you are utterly out of practice.... its really stressful!!

Anyway last night he came home paralytically drunk after a work bonding day in the city.. last night being the second last night he has left to study with 2 chapters to read, an assignment to finish off and a 10 minute speech to write. I got so upset and disappointed in him as the course is really expensive and we have had to get a loan for him to do it. I took it personally.

I tried to ignore him as I didn't want to say anything I regretted but I couldn't help myself. Alcohol has been pretty much been the only issue that we argue about which probably stems from the fact that my father is an alchololic and I did tell him before we got married I didn't want to be married to someone who drinks excessively all the time.

You see I have said to him my tolerance level is at about 3 beers a night prior to this he would drink about 6 or 7 beers every night and even since I expressed this to him he consistently drinks 4 or 5 a night. I feel like he doesn't care less how I feel about this issue and basically rubs that in my face every night.:gloomy:

I really don't know what to do to get through to him how stongly I feel about it so last night I told him I am going to stay at my mums for a few nights with our boys. I really have no intention of staying with her but I thought I might go and stay in a motel for the night and leave him to think about things.

Sorry for being so longwinded but I have no one else to talk to and I need to know honestly if I am over reacting. Should I leave him for the night? Sometimes I can hear my mothers voice when I am going on about these things and that scares the life out of me...

EskimoMumma
26-07-2006, 07:47
IMO its his course and you shouldnt be doing any real work for it OR busting his back about it.


Men think we bust their balls enough anyway and then adding on Uni on top of that.. they think we Neo Nazi. or their mothers :eek:

Take a break, i know it hits you personally because you took a loan, but if your hubby will listen try and explain to him how you feel about it. Just talk about you, dont mention "you always" or "and you never..." Just talk about how it feels to you when hes out drinking and blowing away whatever amoutn of money this course was and that hey your disappointed.

Or write a letter :rolleyes:


Hope this helps.

anna's mum
26-07-2006, 15:46
Hi, I can relate a bit to this - my hubby was doing a DipEd while we were pregnant & seemed to do no work whatsoever & missed classes all the time! I edited a couple of his essays but that's about it! Anyway, he ended up graduating with Distinction :eek: I couldn't believe it ... so you never know!! Sometimes the minimum of effort is all that is required.

BaDaBing
28-07-2006, 19:01
Hey thanks guys

I ended up staying at home but I did let him know how upset I was and I think he pretty much got the message after 2 nights on the sofa bed:yes:

He knows he was in the wrong but we'll see what happens next time. I understand that he was in a group of ppl drinking and having fun but hey we aren't impulsive teenages anymore (unfortunately).

Tanks guys :hugs:
Sharn