Takes 3 hours to go down for the night

[springbubba]

I really shouldn't complain but....

I have only just got my 11 week old to sleep through the day. She has 2 2 hour sleeps and a 45 min sleep (before that she used to only last 20-40 minutes).

I try to put her down between 7 and 7.30pm and she fights me until about 10 when I give up and feed her to sleep. She doesn't self settle and I usually have to pick her up and pat her to sleep. I do try and get her to self settle but she seems to scream harder when I re-enter the room to pat her.

So our night routine is
play
feed her and change her (can't bath as she is in a brace for displaced hips)
wind down time for 20 mins
put her in her cot (dark room) and walk out

We go in to pat her when she cries but end up picking her up and putting her to sleep in our arms. The problem is she either wakes as soon as you put her in her cot or after 10-20mins. This goes on for about 3 hours but once she is down she is down for 4-5 hours.

Does anyone have any advice or a better way to do things? I would like to work towards self settling but don't want to do CC.

[made2bAmummy]

just wanted to let you know our DS has been going down for the night at 9 or 10pm since he was born, and in the last week has started to go at 8.30pm, feed once at 4am, and then up at 6am for the day. I think its pretty normal for them to stay up late when they are tiny like this, and gradually get an earlier bed time as they start to get more physical and lift their head more etc around 3 1/2 months. That's been our experience with both ours, we just take the opportunity to sit down with them in our arms and have a cuddle before we go to bed ourselves.... sorry no help to you but just wanted you to know you are not alone.

[Betty Boop]

Hi springbubba,
The only thing i do differently is 2 feeds close together - A feed at 5.30pm, play, shower (i know you cant do this), massage, top up feed(around 7-7.30pm), then straight to bed. I think the full tummy and comfort of a feed with mum helps at the end of the day.

[CherishS2]

You just described the same problem i was having so hopefully this can help (i actually just posted this to someone else's question).

"I was having a lot of trouble getting my 3 mth old to sleep too- i would try to get her to sleep for 2 naps a day which could take up to an hour of rocking, patting, crying, swing, pram, anything! lol. When i got her to sleep though she would sleep 2-3hrs each nap & 10 hours straight at night. After speaking with a sleep consultant we worked out that she was awake for TOO long between sleeps which was making her overtired & impossible to get to sleep. She recommends that a 3mth old should be awake for only 1.5-2hrs before going back down for a nap. I thought my DD1 was just an exception coz she would be awake for 6hrs straight sometimes!!
But after following the feed, play, sleep pattern she now is only awake for around 1.5 hours before i see the first tired signs (you have to watch carefully & put to sleep within a couple of minutes of seeing it). And now i can get her to sleep in about 15min after that- much less stress! She now has 3 x 1.5hr naps during the day & a 30-45min nap about 6.30pm to carry her through till sleep at 9pm. It means i have to wake her up after each nap & wake her up the same time every morning but it's a lot happier for both of us.
I thought she couln't possibly be ready to sleep again after 1.5hrs but she was!
For a 3 month old she recommends 15 hrs sleep a day (10hr night and 5hrs a day broken into 3-4 naps). "

So i would try to make sure she is having a late nap so she is only awake for 1.5hrs before going to sleep at night. I was worried this would mean that she wouldn't go to sleep until really late or stop sleeping through the night but it made it HEAPS easier!! It used to take us hours of crying, rocking & eventually feeding to sleep at night. But give it a couple of weeks to work- it took us a week to start seeing the effects and now a week later she has started self-settling in her cot (with me patting & shhhing her) but for us this is like a miracle coz i was positive i would still be rocking her to sleep at age 2!!

Good luck!!