HELP! at wits end..... need advice from everyone...please

[WorkingClassMum]

Without being there no-one can really know what's going on :hugs:, but we'd all have our suspicions that the mother is bagging your DF and making life uncomfortable for the kids.

Diarise all contact - especially with the mother, and can you record the skype contact? You may need to let the mother know you are doing this?

Good Luck with the court hearing :hugs:

[SuperGranny]

Hi mummy89. Sorry you are going through this. I dont have any advice apart from what you are doing regards documenting these incidents. It is so sad when parents play stupid games with the only ones being hurt are the children. I hope you are soon going to be under review and maybe things will be better then. Marie.

[Bubmum]

If you are going to tape the conversations via Skype, or any other conversations, you need to let the second party know that you are taping.
It's very sad that you have to go to court to sort this out, but I wouldn't enter into any "games" with their Mother. I am sure any upset the children have comes from parental conflict, and not wanting to be around that. When the parents are fighting, it is very upsetting for the children, and they just want to escape from it. I wouldn't read tooo much into it,and overthink it, as you don't know for sure, and it would drive you batty thinking too much about it.
Focus on the positive loving relationship you will have with the children in the future once all of this has been sorted out. It will get sorted, and then you can all start afresh. Good luck.

[WorkingClassMum]

df and i agreed we will be recording it from now on just with a video camera as skype would come up on the other end that we are recording on that.

.

check with your solicitor, as this may be illegal without everyone knowing it's being taped, and as susch may not be able to be used as 'evidence' IYKWIM

[JiminyCricket]

Personally I dont think this skype thing is beneficial for anyone, it seems like the mother is angry with you and DP and the children can see that so to keep thier mother happy they probably pretend not to like you and DP even though they do.

I had the same issue with my mother , she hated my dad and stepmum and if we said anything nice about them she would get upset so we learned not to say anything nice about them.

How often do you see the kids?

Unfortunatly the same thing will happen on a normal telephone if the Birth mother is in the room as well.

[liesel]

Hi mummy89. Sorry you are going through this. I dont have any advice apart from what you are doing regards documenting these incidents. It is so sad when parents play stupid games with the only ones being hurt are the children. I hope you are soon going to be under review and maybe things will be better then. Marie.


:iagree:I don't know if you are battling for custody but the courts don't look to kindly on manipulative parents and this could be good for you. if you aren't at least the courts could assess the kids and send them to a therapist or something to chat about whats going on at home and make them feel better which is the most important thing.

there is nothing worse than kids feeling torn


also notes in a diary are also admissible in court if you don't want to record

[moozle]

Sounds messy but I would jump to the same conclusions as you about her manipulating them but you just can't be sure. I really hope the court stuff is dealt with soon so you can organise a custody arrangement that works for you and get on with your lives and those poor children can stop being caught in the middle of it all :(

[erinjacob]

the kids have lives to they want to see friends an go an do things an to be having to talk to dad on same day at same time probibly inconveniences them i no my kids would hate it