Only 7 weeks PG & Giving up already

[Soldierette]

I need help......CAUTION MAY TRIGGER

I am 7 weeks, 2 days pregnant and had to stay home from work yesterday due to a breakdown the night before.

I have been SO negative since I found out I was PG. (Planned, TTC for 4 months):banghead:

I was happy for around the first week or two, yet now (I hate to say this but...) have even wished that my partner would crash our car on my side and I'd lose our Bubble, or I'd misscarry, or adopt Bubble out?!?!?:gloomy:

We have wanted this for a long time, so now why do I feel like I don't?

I keep feeling like I'm not ready at ALL for this baby, that once it is born I will neglect it and turn my back when it's crying and not help?!?!:(

Why am I so petrified of the responsibility that now I wish I wasn't pregnant. I even contemplated getting an AB & telling people that I had misscarried :crying:

I have been feeling this way for most of every day for weeks now.
When I'm with my partner he keeps asking me to stop whinging about all my symptoms I'd say "I'm so sick of this nausea already" and he'd say "We both wanted this......remember" and he'll ask if I really wanted this and I'd just say "Well it's too late now".....why am I saying these things, I was absolutely dying to fall pregnant, and now I have I feel like it's all WAY too soon for me to want this!!!

I read in a few books that it is safe to use Zoloft during pregnany?
I mentioned this to my partner and he is VERY against me taking anything (even if I wasn't pregnant) he doesn't beleive in any medication and thinks people who are weak need it......Pfft!

My father has PTSD & Bi-Polar, my twin sister is a Recovering Addict and has OCD and my mother and I have Panic Attacks and Anxiety......All of them are medicated, but me and I seem to be the only one NEVER able to cope.

My partner assumes that because I broke down the other night I'm 'All better now' and when he asked how long I'll be depressed for and my reply was 'Probably the whole pregnancy and after that too' he sounded very shocked!!!! I felt like crying again just because he expects me to just snap out of it.

His sister has just given birth to her second and told me to sms her with any dramas I may have, so yesterday I messaged her telling her how down I've been and my partner read the message I sent to her and went off at me for sharing our private lives with his family saying they're "Our Problems" and it made me feel SOOO ISOLATED!

.........I don't know how I am going to cope for another 7 months.......
I am only 20 years old and I am really starting to feel it!!!

[Crazy Monkey]

So sorry to hear you are feeling so down... I really think you need to speak to someone and get your feelings sorted out... Maybe speak to a counsellor by yourself and then include your partner later...

:hugs: to you.. Hope your feeling better soon

[lovebeingamum!]

Wow, sounds like your going through alot of emotions at the moment... I have to tell you, this is my first reply, so I hope I can give you a little bit of comfort, even if its just knowing there is a listening ear here for you. :hugs:
I know guys can sometimes be... less supportive of us than they could be and I believe it's 'cause they are physical beings, and women are emotional beings, so don't ever feel bad about wanting to talk to someone... keeping it all bottled up really doesn't help and it takes guts to take that step to say it out loud or write it down!!
At the moment, I really just suggest you hang in there... you've got so many hormones racing around, going crazy on top of finding out you're finally going to be a mum!! Keep talking about things and maybe you should think about seeing a doctor or the wonderful ladies at your local Community Health Centre, especially if you have a strong family history of 'mental issues' (that shouldn't be read badly either, there's such a strong stigma attached to mental illness... its really misunderstood...)
Its amazing what the female body can do, and I think you really will grow to love your growing bump, especially when you feel it kick you and wriggle around it there!! And when you can finally meet it something amazing kicks in and you do all kinds of wonderful things that you never thought yourself capable of. But that's a little while away, right now you need to work through your feelings 'cause they're totally normal, so don't let guilt for having those thoughts add to your troubles.
Well, sorry if I've rambled, but I guess I just wanted to let you know talking about it is the best thing you can do, so dont let your partner make you feel guilty about that. Feel free to PM, if you want.

[InSaneOne]

:hugs: :hugs: for you.

things will get better - try not to feel to overwhelmed now. things are hard but you will be able to cope. i would go and talk to a dr first about how you are feeling and about medications that you can take and then if it is ok and won't hurt the baby - take them. some people fight against depression with a newborn (i know you are still pregnant but ...) and others ignore it. you have to get it treated as soon as possible or it gets worse. the dr might suggest some councelling too. talking to someone and working out why you feel this way would help.


or you can talk to us on the bubhub. what sort of feelings are you having? in what way do you think you aren't ready? what would you need to do to feel ready? you still have a good 7 months to get things done. maybe you need to go on a holiday and do something you haven't done before. maybe buy an item of clothing or some furniture for the baby to make it a little more real for you.

if you want to talk please feel free to add me to msn (babybeth05@gmail.com)
and to email or pm me

[annsam]

Hey!

I felt like that at the start of both my pregnancies........maybe not to the same degree but I felt very trapped and daunted by the responsibility. Nature is an amazing thing in giving you 9 months to get used to it. Once it becomes 'real' i.e. you see a heartbeat, you feel the movement and you start growing you usually become more acustomed to the idea. Why dont you join the 'due in March' group. The excitement of the other mums and the ability to share with others who are going through the same thing physically might be of some help.

I hope it starts improving for you soon.:hugs:

xx

[Soldierette]

Good Morning,

I am feeling a bit releived today, after venting yesterday I felt a weight had lifted a touch, for now!

Thank you very much for all your kind words and support.
I appreciate your replies :yes:

I'll keep everyone posted, have a good day! :wave:

[LittleBoysRock]

First of all :hugs:

Pregnancy screws with your hormones and makes you VERY emotional. I was activley TTC when I feel pregnant and yet felt sick when I got a positive.

In the weeks that followed, I kind of resented the baby for making me feel sick and found it very difficult to adapt.

I found that people had always told me being pregnant was so magical and lovely that I expected it to be that way. When it wasnt I was disappointed and I felt cheated!

By 20 weeks I loved my bump and feeling my baby move but still felt uncomfortable.

You have huge highs and huge lows while pregnant or at least I did. I hope that you start experiencing some of the highs soon!!

Goodluck with your pregnancy! If you ever need to talk, PM me. :yes:

[Tam-I-Am]

Sweetie, we were ttc with DD when we fell pregnant too - and I felt exactly the way you described, although to a lesser extent. I felt that I would be a bad mother, that I would abuse my DD when she was born, I would neglect her or beat her if she frustrated me. I was terrified that I would be an awful mother, and that I wouldn't love my DD enough.

The fact of the matter is that although you were trying for a baby - its an ENORMOUS responsibility that you have taken on, and there's no backing out now. It makes you feel trapped and caged, and although its what you wanted, you can feel really negatively toward it - I did for the majority of my pg. The things is, though, that even at this stage - you just can't imagine the love that you will feel for your baby. You just don't have any inkling how strong those feelings can be until you have fallen in love with your born-baby (and note: I say - fallen in love with, because it doesn't always happen automatically or straight away - its like any other relationship....it can take time).

When you do feel that love, you know that you will never hurt your baby, and that they make your life complete and worthwhile. There are certainly days and weeks that are really difficult - but I can honestly say that I LOVE being a mum, its the best job in the world, and DD completes my world. If everything else is going wrong, I can come home and see her, and everything is okay again - at least until I have to leave again!

I would advise you to get some support for yourself - there are plenty of free pregnancy support and counselling services - have a look in the yellowpages for one - surround yourself in people who love you and who will love your baby, and talk really honestly with your DP. Tell him what you need from him - ie "I don't need you to fix all these problems, but I need to feel supported. One way you can do this is by giving me lots of hugs etc". Men are action-oriented - give him something to do and he will be able to do it, but tell him about emotions - he just doesn't know how to cope with that. And, in all probability, its a bit hard for him to understand or even realise how real this pregnancy is ATM - afterall, the baby is not in his stomach!

Good luck, please keep talking to us - no-one here will judge you. PM me anytime if you want to.:hugs:

[justtwogirls22]

i hope you are feeling a bit better today
i know how you are kind of feeling - i had bad nausea for till 18weeks then at 20 weeks got really bad panic attacks - i had been on zoloft months before i was pg but my dr researched about it & it isnt an overly safe tablet while pg instead he put me on cipromil which was wonderful & i weaned myself off a few weeks after my baby was born

[Mumma]

Hang in there.

It is a full-on time, phsycially and emotionally. Try and treat yourself as much as possible. Listen to your body.

I have just started going to a post natal depression support group, and I know that they also encourage pregnant woman to come too. Maybe check out what is in your area. I have found it really helpful to actually talk about it - phew! Just like you felt a bit better the other day venting here.

My DH was a bit unaware to how much of an impact pregnancy has, but that was helped a lot when we went to antenatal classes. He heard all the other women talking about their various symptoms/issues and realised I wasn't just whinging!! :cool: He was a lot more understanding after that.

I know you feel overwhelmed but I think you will be an amzing mother. I love it to bits.

You are 20 and have so much time to do so many things, they may just happen in a different order! And different is good!

Take care and look after you - keeping writing

[Leez]

:hugs: to you.

I had a very similar experience in the early weeks of my pregnancy. We weren't TTC (just left it in the lap of the Gods and hey presto) anyway, I was completely shocked at my emotions - all negative. I was totally depressed, I was grieving the impending loss of the life that DH and I had, I was completely unable to get in touch with any happiness about this baby or feel any connection to it, to me it was just a line on a stick that I'd peed on, not my child. When we told people their excitment and congratulations and chatter about it would depress me even further - I wanted everyone to shut up and not speak of it. I would be driving home from work and be thinking about it all, start crying, and by the time I got home I'd rush into the bedroom in a flood of tears and lay on the bed crying for 2 or 3 hours. DH was at a loss as he thought women were supposed to be happy when they were pregnant.

The crunch came when we had to seriously discuss a termination, as we were both frightened about my mental health and how much worse it could get. By week 9-10, it levelled off slightly and I was only crying every 2-3 days, which gave me some hope. Then I went through a nice period where I started to even warm to the whole thing. It came back the week prior to having her, and I spent the week on the verge of tears the whole time. I just had all this sadness.

During my depression I did some reading and found that ante-natal depression is very, very common. Contrary to the stereotypical 'glowing' pregnant earth mother, the reality is that many women experience depression during their pregnancy. It is not as well researched or as well known as PND.

You may well feel better in a little while, when your homones balance out a bit and you can hopefully enjoy even part of your pregnancy. Hang in there. I can tell you that now, when I look at my daughter sleeping in her bassinette, it was worth it, and I would go through it again, knowing the wonderful little person who has come into my life because of it.

I hope this is your experience too.

Lisa