14 year old girl drinking alcohol. Very dusturrbing

[Loulabelle]

So yesterday a friend came over and told us about what she witnessed on Boxing Day. I am so disturrbed by what she described. What do others think. So my friend went over to a friend of hers place on Boxing Day. Her friend has a JUST turned 14 year old. The girl paraded around all day in only a leopard print string bikini ( no sundress or top or anything). She is quite well endowed so was showing a lot!!! Her parents said it was OK gor her to drink alcohol over lunch so she had 2 large glasses of wine. Then her 17 year old boyfriend came over (WTF???) and another girlfriend if hers. The kids continued to drink and my friends boyfriend walked in on the 14 year old performing oral sex on her boyfriend!!!!!!! The girl continued drinking until she was vomiting and was paraletic!!!! She could not stand or walk and thought the piano was the stairs and fell and her herself. Anyway my friend questioned her parents who said they would prefer she drank at home if she was going to drink. But the mum did not know how much her daughter had to drink and I don't think my friends partner had told them about the sex thing!!!! Anyway some of our other friends were over when my friend was telling thus story. I seemed to be the only one who was truly horrified at a child this young consuming sooo much alcohol most people thought it was OK cause she was a home. I don't thunk 14 year olds drinking and having sex is OK. I am horrified that these patents allowed their 14 year old to get so drunk and aloiwed gee to have a 17 year old boyfiriend SMS allowed all 3 kids to drink. What do you all think????

[Loulabelle]

Oops I meant to say my friend's friend has a DAUGHTER who has just turned 14. Sorry

[Lily of the Nile]

That's pretty disgusting actually (the bikini and sex thing!) no morals, no guidance, I would at least teach my daughter and son to have a bit more self respect and their bodies aren't junk....As for a 17 year old bf, you know it's hard to ban your daughter from seeing someone, but I wouldn't allow them to be alone in the house, in her room, even going out would have boundaries and rules like I'd have to pick her up, drop her off and if they were going to his house I'd want to know his mother and let her know my rules about being alone. I mean I don't think it's too strict for a 14 year old.
As for the alcohol thing, I get what the parents want, better at home than somewhere she's not safe or not in control. But I think at least talk to their daughter about alcohol, drinking responsibly, learning it's dangers and binge drinking at that age. I would seek advice how to do it (along with everything else she does) becauseI think there is something emotional going on with that behaviour???

[OhGeeMuma]

That is NOT ok! :shame:

At the most those parents should allow their child to have 1 maybe 2 cruisers or something and that it. Even then I don't think she should be drinking but I understand the parents point of they would rather her do it at home. However the way they have allowed it to happen is completely and utterly irresponsible as parents. How can they allow there child to drink and not keep tabs on how much she had had?

As for the sex thing. Also not ok, but kids are growing up faster these days and short of banning her to see her boyfriend (which would create other issues) there isn't much they can do IYKWIM. I'm sure there are plenty of girls here on the Hub that were sexually active at that age and although I am not one of them, I think most would agree that there was not a lot their parents could have done to prevent them being so.

[Lateralus]

I think it's wrong on all accounts... Wrong for the parents to let their daughter drink so much, to be wearing skimy cothing, have a boyfriends who is so much older and for this child to be engaging in sexual activity. No only is it wrong, it's illegal! What are her parents thinking?? Letting her walk around in a revealing bikini at 14 years of age FFS!! As MyBabyLeo said, her parents are doing her a complete disservice by not teaching her to respect her body on so many levels. Sure they might argue that by letting her drink at home it's safer, but there is a difference between teaching children about alcohol being a 'respected guest at the dinner table' - a small glass of wine with a meal & letting her get paralytic. Especially if she's going to get so drunk that she is going to be groomed and coerced into giving her boyfriend a *******. Disgusting. Her parents should be reported to DOCS!

[JLeesmum]

hmm... IMO a couple of drinks is ok on special occasions after there 14, but under strict supervision..
i was drinking and having sex at 13. my mum and dad split when i was 11, so when mum went back to work as a chef for night shifts when i was 13, i was left alone from 7pm-9pm..
so i know first hand how cheeky teenagers can be..thats why they need constant supervision..

as for the 14 yr old and the 17 yr old.. i was 15 when i started seeing my DP, he was 22!!. no one agreed at the time but 7 years later they are all happy for us :)

when mum was home there was always a rule, if there was boys in the room the door had to be open. she let us drink occasionally but never to the point of being blind drunk (unless she wasnt home)
im 21 now and d ont drink at all.. :)

[lochiebearsmum]

oh my! these stories are scary... the world continues to change soo quickly, it makes me fearful for what will be deemed as ok behaviour when lochie is 14... i want him to stay 2 forever!

[JLeesmum]

I think it's wrong on all accounts... Wrong for the parents to let their daughter drink so much, to be wearing skimy cothing, have a boyfriends who is so much older and for this child to be engaging in sexual activity. No only is it wrong, it's illegal! What are her parents thinking?? Letting her walk around in a revealing bikini at 14 years of age FFS!! As MyBabyLeo said, her parents are doing her a complete disservice by not teaching her to respect her body on so many levels. Sure they might argue that by letting her drink at home it's safer, but there is a difference between teaching children about alcohol being a 'respected guest at the dinner table' - a small glass of wine with a meal & letting her get paralytic. Especially if she's going to get so drunk that she is going to be groomed and coerced into giving her boyfriend a *******. Disgusting. Her parents should be reported to DOCS!
i see people from 1.5-50yrs old wearing revealing bikinis. if there was a pool, or water there i think its fine, a bit different if its a cold day and she is just wearing it to show off.
if i had a nice body again id be wearing a bikini.
and i dont know about being coerced into stuff, i kow when i was that age id do anything to impress a guy...

[BlakeNatsMum]

Good lord! That is just totally unacceptable - the drinking and the sex thing. I would definitely NOT allow it at all. I would have reported it to Docs as well I'm afraid, that girl is still a child at 14 in my eyes.

[Theophania]

I think the only thing that was irresponsible of the parents was letting her drink too much.

I agree with them letting her have a drink or two on Christmas day in their home where they can supervise her. But they should have monitored it and not let it get out of control.

As for her 'parading' around in a string bikini... She is in the privacy of the back yard so to speak I mean I am sure there weren't any perverts there to oggle her right?

Also the whole 17 year old bf is, well, the norm from my POV. I had a 17 year old boyfriend when I was 14 and we experimented with our bodies and there was nothing wrong with that, we did it when we felt comfortable so I see nothing wrong with that.

Teenagers are doing things a lot earlier these days and being switched on is much more responsible then burying your head in the sand and saying my child doesn't do that.

[Boobycino]

Oh no, that all sounds gross and horrible. That poor, silly girl.

Its crap to say she'd rather her doing it at home, as obviously she's completely unsupervised at home. Making herself sick from alcohol in her own home is scary. I think 1 small glass of wine, or ONE cruiser or something from maybe 15 (not 14 :no:) is fine. At 14 though I think I was having 'tastes' of my parents wine or beer... which I thought was gross anyway.

And the boyfriend.... well... yeah... when I was 15 my boyfriend was 19, so I cant talk. And... well.. yeah.... we probably did more than we should have. But in my parents defence we were pretty darn sneeky and I was constantly lying to my parents about where I was, so I dont see how they could have stopped me.... oh I'm SORRY MUM AND DAD!!! (I'm not looking forward to when I have teenagers and karma catches up with me!)

And the bikini thing does make me wanna just be ill, thats so sad that she's wallowed to parade her body around like that... I wanted to show off my boobs when I first got them, I had decent C-cups by 14, so I WANTED to walk around in a bikini, but my parents wouldn't have let me, my dad would have been demanding I cover up!

She's a child and needs to be directed to act like one!

[Refresh]

Teenagers are doing things a lot earlier these days and being switched on is much more responsible then burying your head in the sand and saying my child doesn't do that.

I think the parents talked about in the Op are the ones burying their heads in the sand....seeing their daughter carry on like that right in front of them and not doing anything about it...enabling it.

[Theophania]

I think the parents talked about in the Op are the ones burying their heads in the sand....seeing their daughter carry on like that right in front of them and not doing anything about it...enabling it.

I understand they were a bit irresponsible allowing her to get so drunk, but if there were monitoring it properly I think it is a lot safer than her lying to them and doing it behind their backs out on the streets with friends where a lot of things could happen to her.

[MommaBear]

Thats is wrong on ALL counts. was the parents of this girl allowing other underage teens to drink at their house? I really can't wait til THAT is made illegal.

They should be teaching their child about sun protection, safe sex and responsible drinking of alcohol not how to get blind drunk etc... how could the parents NOT know how much she was drinking- how did she get it???? surely she didnt buy it herself.
Oh well when shes 30 has skin cancer, STDs, and liver problems I'm sure her parents might get their head outta the sand and realise that at 14 she IS still a child and needs to be treated as one. There is a reason why the legal alcohol drinking and buying age is 18.....

[loving6]

I would like to say I'm shocked but I'm not.

But that doesn't mean that it's not wrong on all accounts.

I DO have a DD who is turning 16 in a few weeks. She isn't allowed to drink and hasn't had a drop of alcohol in her life. She isn't allowed to date or dress inappropriately and she's fine with that. Really, it's not hard to be involved in your kids lives. Involved enough to care where they are, who they're with, and what they are doing.

[Refresh]

I would like to say I'm shocked but I'm not.

But that doesn't mean that it's not wrong on all accounts.

I DO have a DD who is turning 16 in a few weeks. She isn't allowed to drink and hasn't had a drop of alcohol in her life. She isn't allowed to date or dress inappropriately and she's fine with that. Really, it's not hard to be involved in your kids lives. Involved enough to care where they are, who they're with, and what they are doing.

:goodvibes: You give me hope :yes:

I *was* the teenager described in the OP :( My parents buried their head in the sand, were not involved with my life, did not talk to me about anything important. I am so SCARED that my kids will be like me but I am determined that they wont be.

[Lily of the Nile]

But I don't think being in your own backyard makes it ok, if it's only your parents that's one thing, but when family friends are over? And everyone might not be perves but the fact that the op doesn't know the girl, yet knows she's well endowed and now we all know says it all.

[Lily of the Nile]

I understand they were a bit irresponsible allowing her to get so drunk, but if there were monitoring it properly I think it is a lot safer than her lying to them and doing it behind their backs out on the streets with friends where a lot of things could happen to her.
But see I never really get that, if you talk to your kids all the time and they know it's wrong, then if they do decide to go out anyway and do it behind your back, at least they'll have a concience about it and know it's wrong and are being deceitful. Seriously that always stopped me from doing alot of things, like 'oh my parents will kill me' or just knowing it's wrong.
But when you have no boundaries, they have no voice in the back of their minds and can't protect themselves because they don't think of consequences like we do.

[Lateralus]

Teenagers are doing things a lot earlier these days and being switched on is much more responsible then burying your head in the sand and saying my child doesn't do that.

I think there is a big difference between knowing what your kid gets up to and enabling dangerous behaviour! The ABS states that about 11.5% of kids have smoked pot by the age of 14 & 3% have tried amphetamines... If your kid is one of the 11.5 in 100 who smoke pot, should you let them do it in your house because 'that's what they get up to anyway' or let them use speed because it's safer for them to use it in your house where you can supervise them? Where do you draw the line? People would say, 'god no - I wouldn't let them use pot or speed' but more death and injury is caused by alcohol than all other illicit drugs put together. I think it's sad and wrong that a parent shouldn't be teaching their child respect for themselves. Especially a young girl - if she doesn't have respect for herself and her own body, why should any boyfriend? They are just setting her up for disaster.

[youngmummyof3]

sorrry but that is so wrong and if that mother was letting other underage kids drink i would be so ****ed if that was my kid i would be going to the police they have a age limit on it for a reason i say to mum all the time since she lets my 16-14 yr old sisters drink at home if they cant buy it them self'd they shouldnt be drinking it it is like a $5grand fine isnt it
and as for the sex thing they should never have been left alone together my 16 yr old sister now has a 10 week old bub from my mum doing the same thing and i was so ova telling mum if she keeps letting her do things like this she will end up pregnant and what do you know at 15 she was pregnant

[UmmInayah]

i wrote a huge reply but deleted it because i am so disgusted that some posters actually believe that this behaviour is okay simply because it is done in front of the parents.

i feel like throwing up i am so disgusted.

alcohol is one of the worst substances around. there are reasons why there is an age limit for alcohol consumptions, and the government reviewing this age and wanting to extend it to 21.

alcohol does a lot to the brain, and it is proven that it damages brains that are being molded, like those in a teenager.

to those people who allow their children to drink, maybe you should think about the damage YOU are causing to your child, rather than say "well, they're doing it in my home, so it's okay" ffs.. i am so angry. lol

[JATS]

:no: So wrong that they enable this girl's behaviour, but I do agree that even if you do crack the whip some kids will just do it sneakily, getting themselves in more trouble, doesn't mean you let them!

I know a girl (16 now) who's mother seriously tried everything to prevent her going off the rails, unfortunately this particular girl's friends were more of an influence than her mum and at 14 she was binge drinking, doing drugs, multiple sex partners. They couldn't do a thing about it, but because they didn't condone it or allow it in their home she simply moved out. :no: What's a parent supposed to do???

[luvmyboys]

Thats is wrong on ALL counts. was the parents of this girl allowing other underage teens to drink at their house? I really can't wait til THAT is made illegal.



It depends on what state you are in but in many states it IS illegal to supply alcohol to underage minors in your home if they are not your children. It should be illegal in all states and if I found out someone gave alcohol to my child without discussing it with me I'd be mighty pi ssed.
I have a DS who is 13 nearly 14 and he is not allowed to drink at home, he has the occasional sip of my drink but that is it. I am more than happy to get him special drinks (not alcohol) for special occasions so he feels included.
I am not sure when I will let him drink at home, I suppose it will be around 16/17 in moderate amounts only, certainly not 14 falling down drunk.

[kezzaskids]

When I read this my head screams no but as the mum to to teen girls I was having a think about it. My two wear bikinis at home. They are not leopard print though or string ones, does that make a difference? My about to turn 17yo has a boyfriend who is only a year older, they have been together since she was 15, does that make a difference? My 14yo had her first glass of wine at xmas dinner and my near 17yo is allowed 2 standard drinks on special occasions. Her boyfriend was not allowed any alcohol in my home.
i dont allow any children to bring or consumme alcohol in my home and that is why they all go and hang at other friends homes where the parents do, its scarey and happens all of the time. My eldest wanted to have people over but then they were not alllowed to drink so no one wanted to come. Living with teens is a whole different ball game. I understand where the parents in the OP were coming from but I wouldnt do it myself (the drinking part that is) In my eyes 14yo should still be children, the line starts to blur around 16+.

[BlakeNatsMum]

i wrote a huge reply but deleted it because i am so disgusted that some posters actually believe that this behaviour is okay simply because it is done in front of the parents.

i feel like throwing up i am so disgusted.

alcohol is one of the worst substances around. there are reasons why there is an age limit for alcohol consumptions, and the government reviewing this age and wanting to extend it to 21.

alcohol does a lot to the brain, and it is proven that it damages brains that are being molded, like those in a teenager.

to those people who allow their children to drink, maybe you should think about the damage YOU are causing to your child, rather than say "well, they're doing it in my home, so it's okay" ffs.. i am so angry. lol


I couldn't agree more..... It makes me bloody angry as well.... Grrr... :banghead:

[bumMum]

well i dont know what is wrong with a girl wearing a bikini. she is a teenage girl who probably loves her body and i wouldnt ask my daughter to cover it up.
drinking and having sex are probably normal teenage activities, (bear with me) but i think more so activities done in secret away from adults, during a time of rebelling and testing the limits. all teenagers experiment. what i find irresponsible is parents condoning and encouraging it in their house. im not a big beleiver in "if you let them do it at home, they will be safer" :no: it is just not true.

[bumMum]

would just like to add i dont think there is anything wrong with teenage girls having sex, but not in the way which was described by OP, paraletic drunk and vomitting and unable to know what was going on

[honeydew]

I find this story quite disturbing.... to me a 14 year old is still a child. If my children were drinking alcohol and engaging in sexual activities at 14 I would be HORRIFIED :eek: I simply wouldn't allow it. I know there are some posters who say they are going to do it behind your backs anyway... but isn't it better to teach them that it's not acceptable to behave that way, rather than admit defeat as a parent and encourage them to do it right in front of your face?

[JLeesmum]

:no: So wrong that they enable this girl's behaviour, but I do agree that even if you do crack the whip some kids will just do it sneakily, getting themselves in more trouble, doesn't mean you let them!

I know a girl (16 now) who's mother seriously tried everything to prevent her going off the rails, unfortunately this particular girl's friends were more of an influence than her mum and at 14 she was binge drinking, doing drugs, multiple sex partners. They couldn't do a thing about it, but because they didn't condone it or allow it in their home she simply moved out. :no: What's a parent supposed to do???
that girl sounds like me when i was that age. mum wouldnt let me drink and smoke so i moved out with my 22yr bf the day i turned 16. she went to the police to see what they could do, but there was nothing they could do about it..

[LAMmum]

My question is, do the parents of this girl drink alcohol around their children constantly? This may explain why the mother has no issue with allowing her daughter to get so drunk. It sounds like they are taking the easy way out as parents by saying they are ok with her drinking at home etc etc rather than enforcing appropriate behaviour. It is a bit of a tricky one because kids these days are getting into drinking, partying, sex, drugs & IMO totally inapropriate behaviour way too early. Girls parade around in skimpy clothing getting drunk & boys just think they're invincible. It must be very difficult being the parent of a teenager at the moment but there is no excuse for allowing a 14 year old CHILD to drink to excess & be unsupervised. If that's what she does when she is at home with her parents I hate to think what she does when she goes out.

[europa]

alcohol is one of the worst substances around. there are reasons why there is an age limit for alcohol consumptions, ...................

alcohol does a lot to the brain, and it is proven that it damages brains that are being molded, like those in a teenager.

to those people who allow their children to drink, maybe you should think about the damage YOU are causing to your child, rather than say "well, they're doing it in my home, so it's okay" ffs.. i am so angry. lol

I agree with you. Hubby and I very seldom drink alcohol- like a glass of wine twice a year!!! And we plan to ban alcohol and teach our children the danger of consuming it and consuming drugs.

I also feel disgusted by the ignorance of the parents mentioned by OP, letting the underage girl not only drinking alcohol but abusing it 'til she's sick and parading in bikini in a totally inappropriate environment (boxing day, at home, NOT at the pool!). And the sex thing! I understand that teenagers love to experiment but where has decency gone?

[AM]

Yeah, I don't think it is on for a 14 year old to get paralytic. As a previous poster said, latest research on the effects of alcohol on a growing brain has led them to recommend raising the drinking age to 20.

I hate to think of the damage the youth of today is doing to their brains.

I was quite a drinker when I was young, I was raised in an alcoholic household, and now it horrifies me! I'll be educating my boys on the brain effects of overdoing the alcohol at a young age, hopefully they will be smart enough to take it on board...

The bikini thing and the bf thing doesn't really phase me except that her behaviour probably would have been different had she not been very drunk...

[SuperGranny]

Hi, this thread is very disturbing. I hate to think what damage this poor child of 14 is going to end up with. Apart from the brain damage from the alcohol, and the possible std's, Im more concerned about the damage to the girl's self esteem. If she feels nothing wrong with parading herself in skimpy clothes, in front of visitors, and getting so drunk as to be vomiting, then what will be the end of it. I have a four year old grandson who feels the need for modesty sometimes. Im not saying there is any thing wrong with the human body, and I woundnt want the yourg girl to feel ashamed of her body or anything like that, but I do think there is a need for clear boundaries with what is acceptable clothing and behaviour and what is not. Her parents need to wake up, allowing bad behaviour at home is not any better then letting the kid run wild. I feel very sad for the poor girl. Marie.

[Pinkzy]

14 year old girls wearing bikinis and dating older boys (in this case, 3 years older) is nothing new. I know plenty of teenagers around this age who have older boyfriends and who wear skimpy clothing but these girls STILL have self respect and their parents STILL set rules and boundaries...aka their parents still care about them...and it doesn't sound like that's what's happening in this case.

At the age of 14 I don't think it's shocking that a lot of teenagers have tried alcohol...but when I say "tried", I mean a sip of their parents wine at dinner...or a taste of brandy or beer at Xmas or at a function or something. I also don't think it's shocking that at this age, THESE DAYS, 14 year olds are experimenting sexually with their partners. I was 15 when I dated my first "serious" boyfriend who was 21, however I didn't disrespect my parents by engaging in sexual activities with him in their home nor did I drink to the point of passing out or becomming ill. I got up to the usual mischeif at the age (drinking a couple of cruisers with friends and sometimes getting 'tipsy' (not paralytic drunk) and also smoked pot..but I'd been raised to have self control, self respect and to know when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. At 14 I was tasting alcohol sometimes...at 15 I was having a moderate amount at parties in the company of people I knew and trusted. My parents also knew where I was and who I was with and because they educated me, and because they trusted me, I wasn't one of the girls who ended up passed out in the gutter or one of the girls who slept around because she had no self control.

It sounds to me like this girls parents haven't educated her when it comes to self respect, drinking in moderation or having self control, and that's really sad as it sounds like she's headed for a very tough time due to her parents lack of care and interest.

[MsMummy]

It sounds like the girl is quite sexualised.

It's certainly not behaviour that a 14-year-old child should be engaging in.

Without knowing the whole story, it's hard to apportion blame.

The parents could be completely overwhelmed and not know what to do.

And every where you turn, we're all bombarded with these overly sexualised images.

In any event, it's very unfortunate.

I would think it's better to avoid plying your child with alcohol, and perhaps have some frank discussions about objectifying oneself through dress.

but as I said, some parents just do the best they can. My brother was diagnosed with a mental illness from about 17 or 18, so they would let him smoke, drink and smoke pot at home (despite my parents not engaging in any of the above themselves). My brother had major anger issues, so if they said "no", he would probably be homeless or associating with even less desirable people, and doing harder drugs. They just didn't know what else to do, but meant well.

[kuddles]

OP- That makes me sad.

[Boobycino]

I'm still feeling ill about this. That poor girl had no boundries to support her and show her how to behave in an appropriate and self-respectful way.

Still digusted. Just thought I'd say that.

And WHAT ELSE could she be getting up to if she wasn't at home? Thing about being at home is she feels 'safe' to behave even worse. Would she really behave this way in public? Would she behave this way if her mother hadn't given her permission to do so?

[mum2bubba]

Yuck. I hope my kids don't turn out that way. What are the parents letting her get drunk like that for? :hair:

[Travdan]

Thats very sad, she is still a child. 14 is very young, theres a big gap between 14 and 16.

The parents need a big kick up the backside. They are not teaching her what is appropriate behaviour, they are condoning it by allowing it to occur in their presence and without ramification.

If they do disallow it in the home, and she does it outside of the home and goes off the rails, at least the parents can say they have tried to do the best they could.

Parents are supposed to parent, not be buddy buddys with their kids. And giving other peoples kids alcohol is not right.

[JLeesmum]

Hi, this thread is very disturbing. I hate to think what damage this poor child of 14 is going to end up with. Apart from the brain damage from the alcohol, and the possible std's, Im more concerned about the damage to the girl's self esteem. If she feels nothing wrong with parading herself in skimpy clothes, in front of visitors, and getting so drunk as to be vomiting, then what will be the end of it. .

umm hello? they were bikinis.. heaps of people wear them.. :banghead:
oh so now were not alowed our to let our kids wear bathers in our own home??
ggrrr

[studyingECS]

I don't see anything wrong with her wearing a bikini, I've worn bathers around visitors here before, didn't think it was inappropriate seeing as it's my own house.

The drinking..I honestly don't know why you'd let a 14 year old drink around visitors and her having a 17 year year old boyfriend, well that's nothing new for alot of 14 year olds I know. I'm not saying it's right, but it's not uncommon.

[1+1=5]

if child service found out about that, she could get taken away from her parents. thats a disgusting attitude towards ones' own child.

[SuperGranny]

Hi smashlee. I have re read the OP, it is a string bikini and it was not covering much of the well developed 14 year old girl. I dont know how to do the quote thing. Im not saying noone is allowed to wear a bikini, I said there is nothing wrong with the human form, I was responding to my impression from the original post, the girl was not in anyway modestly covered, and she stayed that way even when she was intoxicated. I find that wrong. Marie.

[loving6]

Hi smashlee. I have re read the OP, it is a string bikini and it was not covering much of the well developed 14 year old girl. I dont know how to do the quote thing. Im not saying noone is allowed to wear a bikini, I said there is nothing wrong with the human form, I was responding to my impression from the original post, the girl was not in anyway modestly covered, and she stayed that way even when she was intoxicated. I find that wrong. Marie.


:iagree: Me too. My DD is almost 16 and they is no way she is allowed a string bikini.

[1+1=5]

i wrote a huge reply but deleted it because i am so disgusted that some posters actually believe that this behaviour is okay simply because it is done in front of the parents.

i feel like throwing up i am so disgusted.

alcohol is one of the worst substances around. there are reasons why there is an age limit for alcohol consumptions, and the government reviewing this age and wanting to extend it to 21.

alcohol does a lot to the brain, and it is proven that it damages brains that are being molded, like those in a teenager.

to those people who allow their children to drink, maybe you should think about the damage YOU are causing to your child, rather than say "well, they're doing it in my home, so it's okay" ffs.. i am so angry. lol

exactly. I am so shocked at some of the attitudes here towards alcohol and teenagers...i don't know whether to scream or cry. no teenager should ever touch alcohol....none. that needs to be parents' attitudes.

thats no burring my head in the sand either. i didn't touch a drop till i was 19 as my parents modeled and taught us the harm of alcohol. They had 3 children and none of us drank till after we were 18. its about parenting and like a pp said, being involved and interested in your childrens' lives.

[Refresh]

Hi smashlee. I have re read the OP, it is a string bikini and it was not covering much of the well developed 14 year old girl. I dont know how to do the quote thing. Im not saying noone is allowed to wear a bikini, I said there is nothing wrong with the human form, I was responding to my impression from the original post, the girl was not in anyway modestly covered, and she stayed that way even when she was intoxicated. I find that wrong. Marie.

:iagree::iagree: ...and from reading the OP, my concern was more about the reasons she was parading around in a bikini in front of everyone....like it was more for attention than out of necessity. It worries me because so many peopl learn to get their esteem from that kind of attention rather than for the person they are....and this girl is 14, it is very sad.

[sebmum]

This makes me so angry! I can't believe anyone would let their 14 year old daughter get drunk and not notice what she was doing. Also, wearing a string bikini and falling down drunk is not on. No matter what age you are!

Alcohol is just a horrible, horrible thing and the sooner parents realise it's NOT OK to let their children drink, even if it is in their presence (and I really hate that lame excuse "I'd rather they did it in my home" -WT? Just grow a pair and tell your underage children - CHILDREN!!! - no!).

There is a reason why it's called 'under age drinking'....it's because they are under the age that is considered safe to consume alcohol. It will destroy their young, developing brains and cause all sorts of social, personal and physical problems down the track. Trust me, my older sister was an alcoholic and it was bloody awful watching her life go down the toilet.

Don't these people realise that DOCS could be called for allowing this to happen.

Ok, I've had my rant. Now I just want to give that poor little 14 year old girl and hug and show her that you can get love from people without being drunk and doing things you shouldn't be doing at that age!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:banghead:

[florence]

if child service found out about that, she could get taken away from her parents. thats a disgusting attitude towards ones' own child.

Seriously?
Honest, I am not being sarcastic, I really am interested cause I have seen worse with babies (not alcohol related) and they haven't been removed from their home.
I was only thinking today what it would take for DOCS to take a child from their mother/father/carer.

[KatiesMum]

umm - well its certainly not ideal behaviour ..... but also, not knowing anything else about the child or the parent I cant really say much.

- wearing a bikini - cant see a problem. Even if its a tiny little string bikini ... at home - dont see a problem

- drinking - again, its certainly not ideal....but if its a particularly rebellious teenager who if is not allowed to drink at home will only go and roam the streets, then I would prefer it to be at home.

- 17 yr old boyfriend - again, wouldnt be my first choice ... but sometimes you dont get to choose that.

- having sex ... same thing.

Sometimes - yes it is a lot to do with parents who simply dont care enough to instil morals, values, ideals and rules.

Other times - the parents can move heaven and earth and the child will do all of those things anyway.

There are situations and families where I would say the behaviour described is just terrible ... and other situations and families where I would say the parents are doing the best thing by having the child at home where they are at least safe from anyone the parents dont know. No drugs, no potential for assault etc .... getting drunk and having sex is the worst they can get up to - and while that isnt great, its better than some alternatives.

Till I have a teenage child in that circumstance, I will reserve judgement

[florence]

umm - well its certainly not ideal behaviour ..... but also, not knowing anything else about the child or the parent I cant really say much.

- wearing a bikini - cant see a problem. Even if its a tiny little string bikini ... at home - dont see a problem

- drinking - again, its certainly not ideal....but if its a particularly rebellious teenager who if is not allowed to drink at home will only go and roam the streets, then I would prefer it to be at home.

- 17 yr old boyfriend - again, wouldnt be my first choice ... but sometimes you dont get to choose that.

- having sex ... same thing.

Sometimes - yes it is a lot to do with parents who simply dont care enough to instil morals, values, ideals and rules.

Other times - the parents can move heaven and earth and the child will do all of those things anyway.

There are situations and families where I would say the behaviour described is just terrible ... and other situations and families where I would say the parents are doing the best thing by having the child at home where they are at least safe from anyone the parents dont know. No drugs, no potential for assault etc .... getting drunk and having sex is the worst they can get up to - and while that isnt great, its better than some alternatives.

Till I have a teenage child in that circumstance, I will reserve judgement

Oh, so well said, especially the bolded part!! :yelclap:

[SuperGranny]

Hi, Im all for reserving judgement, I dont know the full circumstances, or the history of the family, but there is still the right we have to have compassion for the child, and to wish she was to be given better guidence from her parents. To say she needs better boundaries, is not passing judgement, in my opinion, but to show there are mistakes happening in her situation. Marie.

[sebmum]

Well said Joshcamgrandma! :yelclap:

I think we all just feel for the girl and although some of us have come across as angry, it's just because we love our children and hate the thought of that ever happening to our own child.

[delirium]

That story is so so sad. I'm a pretty liberal parent, but anything more than half a small glass wouldn't happen at 14. :no: I believe in not sticking my head in the sand and prefer to know what they are doing, even if it is bad. But I draw the line ar 14 and getting drunk. Hopefully it won't even be an issue for us :fingerscrossed:

As for sex, I'm hoping both my kids save themselves long after I did. Past 15 and I'd be happy. Sad but a sign of the times.



I *was* the teenager described in the OP :( My parents buried their head in the sand, were not involved with my life, did not talk to me about anything important. I am so SCARED that my kids will be like me but I am determined that they wont be.

I was that teenager too. I didn't do it at home though I did it elsewhere. My mother was super strict, the opposite to you.

I think if they can talk to us and feel comfortable with being honest we are doing better than our parents, strict or lax. :)

[sandy_1902]

I would like to say I'm shocked but I'm not.





:iagree:

its actually quite common

i dont think letting her drink till she is plastered great one or two okay but then no more

[Refresh]

I think if they can talk to us and feel comfortable with being honest we are doing better than our parents, strict or lax.

I think so too....at least I hope so :yes:

[BabelFish]

Wow. Just ... wow.

[1+1=5]

Seriously?
Honest, I am not being sarcastic, I really am interested cause I have seen worse with babies (not alcohol related) and they haven't been removed from their home.
I was only thinking today what it would take for DOCS to take a child from their mother/father/carer.

most definitely on several fronts. The parents would get investigated for neglect. One, an underage child having sex (oral sex is considered as child sexual abuse regardless of whether the child wanted it or not) under her parents' supervision and two, allowing a child to get intoxicated whilst under the parents' supervision.

they are both very serious issues.

[lucky stars]

im really not shocked at all.
i think this is quite normal behaviour for teenagers today, and was kind of normal imo 10 years ago.
we were all doing it (drinking, sexual stuff)
my parents were pretty strict
they allowed me small amounts of alcohol
but we still drank behind their backs
in a way i would have been safer at home getting messed up than at other people's places...
they're gonna do it and u cant stop them..
just reality

[hailsntwang]

I grew up in Cairns. We didn't have a pool at home but I was constantly walking around in bikinis, whether there were adults / friends over or not.
I personally don't see what the big deal about that fact is:confused:
Really, the only thing that goes through my mind is "so what".
Just because you dress in a bikini at a young age does not mean you are promiscious (sp?)

The drinking at age fourteen is another story completely. I have to say I was drinking at this age - away from home and not responsibly. My mum and dad would never have allowed me to drink at fourteen at home so I chose to take it else where.

I do agree with them allowing her to have one or two drinks over lunch on a special occasion, drinking herself into oblivion however is not responsible parenting. I know they probably think "well we'd rather it here then somewhere else" but there needs to be some discipline.:(

The sex side of things, I believe the parents probably have no idea just how "serious" she is with her boyfriend, and maybe they do need to be told what was witnessed just so they can sit down with her and discuss the issues with unsafe sex.

Obviously she is going to do it with or without their permission but they should be able to openly discuss things related to unsafe sex and sexual antics just to help make her aware.

Maybe she will make different choices if she is aware of all the information, and hears the facts and the truth from her parents instead of peers?

[SimplyMum]

I also hope that my son saves himself well past the age that I did but I wasn't as young as some and I think even our own parents have the same thoughts when we were young so, in that regard- it doesn't bother me soo much. Although 14 is way too young imo and I 'hope' that DS can keep his innocence a bit longer.

I don't have a problem with bikinis but 'string bikinis'- well, I don't know. I imagine a bit of difference between a bikini and a 'string bikini'.

My aim is to not have DS drinking or having sex at that age, nor to have girlfriends stay over in his room (they can stay in the spare bed at that age).

But I also recognize that things don't always go to plan and most of this will depend on allot of other things at the time.

I expect that family members will do things allot differently as we have already had many differences of opinions so far so I will have to mind my tongue. Accepting that people do things differently is sometimes very difficult.

[jaq]

Some people drink alcohol at home as teenagers and learn to drink responsibly. Others never do.

Some people had strict parents and went wild; others had lax parents and went wild.

Some people had sex young and had healthy relationships, others didn't.

I wonder what that magic variable is? Self-respect? Involved parents? A certain level of maturity that some people attain earlier than others?

I don't know the girl in question, or her parents, so any sort of judgement would be uninformed and pointless.

[Annabella]

I'm so scared for my daughters, the girl in the OP is not that unusual, it what a lot of 14 yr olds are doing now, maybe not at home in front of mum and dad, but trust me, its definitely still happening.

I won't let my kids drink that much in front of me, and if they have a boyfriend, doors will have to stay open but in the end they will make their own decisions regardless of what I say. I just hope I can educate them and help them understand WHY sex at 14 and getting blind is not a good idea, and why they don't need to show off their 'assets' to feel good about themselves. That way they will hopefully make the right decision for themselves rather than being forced into it and wanting to rebel or follow the crowd.

[Poppetfish]

String bikini - So what?
Having oral sex with her boyfriend - Yes it is a sexual act but it is A LOT better then full on sex. When i was the same age most of my friends had either had full sex or back door access to save their virginity. I think people should have a read of Dolly ect.
Drinking - The OP said that the parents allowed her to have 2 glasses of wine with dinner. How are we meant to know if they knew about the rest. Maybe they realised after she was drunk. I cant see how disciplining her while she was in that state would have been effective. Maybe they waited until the next day to punish her when she had sobered up a bit.

I don't know the girl or her family. So I really dont know what happened.

[Baldie's Mum]

Its not a new thing.......not sure why the media portray young teens these days sooo out of control and drunk.

My MIL and her friends were drinking at 14. She got paraletic on cooking sherry! She has 3 older brothers and they were drinking and being stupid. Her brothers drank and ute surfed! I mean, thats just crazy!

I still think drinking at 14yrs old is discusting and wrong.....the oral sex thing, is just nasty but definatly not unusual! I had a girl in my year at school giving head at 12!!!!! (I went to a very top private school and her parents were lovely very helpful parents who were quite strickt)

I think my husband was a bizar case.......grew up country, with his family owning pubs....mum and dad always working and he first had a beer and then got drunk on his 20th birthday. He had his first sip of bourbon at 21!

I first got drunk at 15, my mother was at the party and i asked her to take me home as my boyfriend at the time wanted to go and do "stuff" in the backyard!!!! (he was 18) :eek: