childcare?

[mummyb]

hi
im just wondering what some of your thought s are on childcare?
i really want my little one with me at least till he is two but im also aware that at some point they need to have social interactions with other kids and adults .
child care is expensive and i firmly belive im the best person to teach my child things like toilet training and self help skills .
recently a friend told me how happy she was that her dauhter was toilet traing i asked what method she was using and she said she just sends her off to pre-school and the girls do it :mad:
am i the only mum that thinks mum and dad are the best teachers for young children ?
any thoughts would be welcome .
i know some mums are busy so please dont think im having a go i just wondered if there where any like minded mums or dads out there?

[mumof2girls]

This is going to sound weird but I work in childcare and I love my job but when I had my children I stayed home with them because I wanted to be there for them and teach them myself. I would take them to parks, kindergym, playgroup etc for them to socialise and they were fine.

On the other hand the children in childcare do learn a lot (if it's a good one) and they learn to socialise and have pretty good conflict resolving skills before they go to school which can be an advantage as they know how to deal with people in all sorts of ways (altercations/sharing etc).

It has pros and cons it really all depends on what the parent/s need for their child. Some people do use it for those reasons but not the majority and what they are doing at childcare your friend will still need to do at home for it to work (toilet training).

I'm not really on either side as I stayed home with my children till they went to school but I work in childcare and know that point of view and I love my job. It's a hard choice for many to make :)

[Malin]

Hi!

My son is now 3 years , and he is not going to childcare.
This is what I feel is right for us.
I do also believe parents can teach their children all they need to know at home until school age...even after school age if you like to do home schooling...
We do go out to parks and play, see friends doing all "social"things together...

But I feel like an odd one out sometimes, I only know one other mum that don't
send her children to child care..

Cheers Malin

[sopolicha]

Neither of my kids, daughter 4 and son 2.5 go to daycare. They did for a brief time but the boy (of course!) did not like it, and to be perfectly honest neither did I.

I love being at home with my kids and think that I am very lucky to be in my position.

We go out, see other friends, go to the park, visiting, and I play with them.

I make the effort to do crafty type things with them and they just love it.

Malin, I am with you all the way, don't feel like the odd one out.

[Melissa1983]

Hi
Both of my children go to childcare because we can't afford me to stay home with them. But for the last 5 months i have been home with them, and toilet trained my daughter. We tried doing it at daycare but she wouldnt do it. So i think she liked the one on one. (besides her sister looking). I am getting worried as the girls go back to daycare in Sept. But i know Mikayla does like it, as she mixes with other children.
I do find sending them does make them more socialable (but thats my girls) As for my friend she doesn't send her son to childcare, she just goes to playgroups and that with him. Just some people are lucky enough to be able to stay home with their children.

[nemosmum]

Im an early childhood teacher and I have a one year old son. I work two days a week and he comes to work with me those two days. I could let my mum mind him as she would love too but I'm selfish and want him close to me during the day as I see him in my breaks. Im lucky that my boy is very content in any environment and loves day care (the toys, the other kids). I work coz we need that extra cash and I find I'm happier as I find my job very rewarding. That said I recently started wishing I could stay home full time and not have the financial problems, I think if you can thats great. No one loves your child like you do and no one can care, nuture and teach them the way their parents can :) . Sometimes I feel guilty that my boys away from me even though its only two days and its a great centre, I know that he will never get the kind of one to one care he gets at home with me. But we all do whats best for our family and right now the money I make means he gets a better lifestyle then if I didnt work.

[mummyb]

hi all
thanks for your psts its so nce to know im not alone in how i feel and how i want to parent.
we struggle on one wage ,i dont think its easy for mst people not many people earn huge amounts of money but plenty of people have children.
i know it would be nice to have extra money ,be able to buy nicer clothing and go on a holiday but then i look at my sweet boys and think not for all the tea in china would i want anyone else to care for you .
ithanks again for all your opions
love mummyb :p

[jembelina]

i know it would be nice to have extra money ,be able to buy nicer clothing and go on a holiday but then i look at my sweet boys and think not for all the tea in china would i want anyone else to care for you .


i completely agree! quite frankly we are struggling financially, but we are warm, have a roof over our heads, food on the table and...LOVE, lots and lots of LOVE. We knew when we started trying for a baby that things would be tight and we both wanted me to be home with the kids for as long as possible... the career i always wanted was to be a mum... so we make sacrifices. but really, they are not sacrifices... the biggest sacrifice i would have to make would be handing my little man over to someone else(no offence intended towards mums who don't stay at home, this is just me :) )

[mummyb]

i feel so much better hearing all your stories ,but im just wondering what kind of things you lovely mums do with your bubs ,we go to playgroup twice a week to church twice a week and then just hang out at home or go to the park ,we love doing art and things like that but we live in a tiny little unit and sometimes we need some extra ideas do you have any ?

[WeThree]

Hi mummyb, i just posted on another thread about things to do at home but i thought id reply here as well and mention some outings we have, we go to playgroup on wed and kindygym on thursdays and church/sunday school etc on sun. we also go to the park once, sometimes twice a wk and sometimes hop on a train and go and visit nanna and pa. cooper goes to daycare for half a day on fri so that i can attend p&c meetings, fundraising meetings and anything else i need to see to at my eldest sons school (he was really suffering as i was never paying attn to what was happening with him and his school because i was so busy with the 2 little ones that i felt i needed to show him that i am interested in his development, education, whats going on in his life as well :) ) A few people have replied that some mums are lucky to be able to stay at home and id just like to mention that for the huge majority of families with mum at home yes it is a choice, but a very difficult one and one that involves a huge amount of sacrifice. My dh and I have moved closer to his work and sold our car so that we dont have petrol, running costs of a vehicle as an expense. my hubby does not earn a huge amount and we have to budget every $$. I shop very conservatively and I am never loyal to any particular brands, i'll buy whatever is on sale. we have started to growing all our own veggies and i get my sis who works at bakers delight to grab bread and stufff that is left over at the end of a day and i freeze it. I work from home on the wks doing data entry, a very monotomous chore, but one that brings in an extra $250 pw and i can work it around the kids (when they are in bed) but we have each other, our children are never cold or hungry, and they certainly arent dressed in rags or anything like that. no we dont have a huge mortgage, but again that is your choice if you have one. i get some family allowance and i use that for playgroup, kindygym, nappies, and any extras (kids clothes, shoes, haircuts, medicines etc) sometimes it can be hard because even though we dont earn alot, it is to much to get a health care card or anything like that, lucky for us nathans work hae a great deal with NIB which means we have absolutely full coverage for less than a $100 a mth than it would normally cost.
My point is - this whole 'oh well its alright for some' mentality is silly, just like the decision to juggle work etc is hard and a sacrifice(and one which i totally respect and understand, it is only recently with the 2 little ones that we have decided that it is best if i sah for now), so too is the decision to not return to work, and one which i hope would also be respected for the huge sacrifice that it is(but one that also gives lots of pleasures and rewards as well :) ) . And thats my 2 cents lol
ps I just wanted add, that as mothers we ALL experience guilt no matter what we do, we feel guilty if we work part time, we feel guilty if we stay at home, we feel guilty if we work fulltime, we feel guilty if we work at home, our whole lives seem to be consumed by guilt!! So the last thing any of us should ever do is make each other feel that what we are doing (which we know is the best for our family, otherwise we wouldnt be doing it) isnt the right thing, or needs to be justified, we need to support each othre no matter what!!