Just need to vent......

[Priscilla]

I just need to vent.

I'm so over being anxious during the evenings/nights because I just don't know how Cameron will sleep. I've started a few threads here about Cameron's sleeping probs already so you may (or may not) remember how awful his sleeping patterns are.

I'm sick of not being able to clean the house without being distracted. I never thought I'd see the day when all I want to do is be left to iron the two baskets of clothes, wipe down all the windows, or even scrub the entire bathroom.

On a typical day I spend the day thinking "I cna't wait till he goes to sleep so that I can do this or do that", but then he goes down, I start on something and he's awake after 40mins! OK so I go and resettle, but then he's awake after another 40mins. So I resettle and this happens for the next two hours until about 10:30 - 11pm. Then he'll wake every two hours until morning! AARRGGHHH!!!

It's gotten to the point where I've accepted that there's nothing I can do but to put up with it for another couple of years (can't decide if it's :banghead: or :crying: ), but I'm just so over it. I find it hard to even go and put a face mask on!!!

I read another thread here entitled "riddle me this". My thoughts exactly - what is it that enables the little ratbags to move into the next sleep cycle?!?!? And since they can do that for one/two, why can't they just KEEP doing that all night?!?!?!?

I know C is not hungry during the nights - he just wants/needs me to resettle him. I've managed to train him so that I don't pick him up and I can just pat him back to sleep with him in his cot - sometimes, as soon as he sees me walk toward him, he'll lay back down by himself and go back to sleep with me patting him. Of course this doesn't ALWAYS work - esp during the nights, as I'm just so tired I end up bringing him into my bed. I know that mucks things up a bit too but I don't know what else to do......

If only he was consistent! Sometimes (like tonight) I put him to sleep at 7 and he's still asleep (it's now8:30). Having said that, he'll wake any minute now... sometimes, he'll wake every three hours. Sometimes, every hour....

Just what is it that's causing him so much inconsistency!! :banghead: :banghead:

[cwsmum]

Other than being consistant every time you want him to have a sleep, I don't know what else could help. Have you spoken to a CHN or called somewhere like Tresillian? I know they are a great help to alot of people :yes:

:hugs: One morning, very soon, you'll wake up and realise you and bub have both slept the whole night without waking up :hugs:

[melbryan]

My son it seemed never slept, he cried all the time. He had a dummy and ate all the time. I wanted to take him to tresillian but no-one would refer me saying he would grow out of it. It worked out he had colic and reflux and was lactose intolerant which meant he was in alot of pain all the time. I felt hopeless when everyone elses babies slept mine wouldn't not in the car or in the pram no-where. I say do something now, take him to a doctor and ask and don't give up. I did and just believed all I was told, but there was something underlying I didn't know about (lactose intolerance). I now know what to do with my second one and know where to go for help if I need it. Many times I had to leave him crying his head off and walk outside for some peace he is now two and the worst is behind us. He is in a big bed, sleeps through no problems but 2 years is a long time I am glad I made it and hope you can too.

[misskittyfantastico]

our babies could be twins:hugs: ...she is very inconsistant and sometimes I really want to :banghead:

PM me...I know what you are going through

[elissas]

Hi,

This is actually normal behaviour for babies, they are still learning to sleep and settle, and need our help - some more than others.

DS does the same thing - he has never slept through and his daytime sleeps are also inconsistent. But I just remind myself that this is part of a baby's learning curve.

Cameron's sleep patterns are only a problem if you consider them to be. Don't let others convince you that they are. What he is doing is very normal.

As you've mentioned, you are having trouble getting things done during the day. I solved this problem with my sling. I found that a number of household tasks can be done this way, including vacuuming, hanging out washing, dusting, preparing dinner... And most babies love to watch Mummy do stuff.

If you want to make some gentle changes to his sleep patterns, and help him learn sooner, try Elizabeth Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution". I'm using a few techniques and the benefits are starting to show now.

Good luck.

[Percy]

I know exactly how you feel.

No advice, just lots of :hugs:

[aprilbaby]

I'm going through exactly the same thing, although it's just started for us and it sounds like you've been going through it for alot longer.

My DS does the same, he only sleeps for 40mins and then is wide awake, but if I get him up he is tired again an hour later. I spoke to Tressilian about it and the lady told me when he wakes up I should keep patting or rocking him for at least 40 mins so that he will go back to sleep for another hour or so.

Well that sounds reasonable but I lasted two days trying to do it with him screaming and writhing around for 30minutes or more and then when he finally went to sleep he only had another half an hour - so I don't see how that's worth the touble.

I've decided now that when he wakes (in the day) I'm going to get him up, play with him for an hour and then if he's sleepy again i'll put him back down for another 40mins then. It might not be what the 'experts' suggest but if it works for us then thats what matters.

The night time is another thing though....:sleeping: I just try to get to him when he first stirs, when he's still half asleep, and pat him back down. Otherwise if he ramps up all i can do is bring him into bed with me. This probably creates all kinds of bad habits down the track, but i think you have to do what keeps you sain now.

My other suggestion is to buy a battery operated swing. We have the Fisher Price Cradle Swing and DS loves it and will happily sleep in there. I have to keep it running because he wakes up as soon as I turn it off :banghead: so it uses alot of batteries, but it's worth it if it gives me the time to get a few things done. You can also buy them second hand on ebay and they're alot cheaper.

Anyway, sorry I can't be more help but you are not alone and our babies will sleep eventually. I keep reminding myself there are no people who never learnt to sleep at all!!

[ozzysmum]

How old is he?? I don't really have any advice but do know exactly what you're going through :yes: ozzy is ten months and still a difficult sleeper. then last night he suprised me - slept until 2 am then settled really quick, slept until 5.30 and (astonishingly) went back down in his cot and didn't wake up until 7.30 :smiliedance: who knows what made the difference last night...
i find the problem with the sleeping pattern (or lack of it) is not just trying to get stuff done, but when you go to bed for your own sleep you're lying there waiting for them to wake up. i find if ozzy's been asleep more than an hour i'm just in limbo waiting and it's invariably on those nights he seems to sleep longer so i'm 'not sleeping' for an hour or two :(
brauer's "calm" drops have helped resettling him and it does seem to fluctuate so i'm thinking it is just a stage ... albeit a really, really, really long one.

hugs for you :hugs:

[Priscilla]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. For a while, I was convinced Cameron was the only baby who has horrible sleeping habits as everyone I had spoken has kiddies who sleep for at least three hours each go....

I have spoken to a nurse at Tweddle as I used to live in Melb, but they teach CC which is sometime I just don't have the heart to do. Dont get me wrong, a part of me knows it's pretty much my only option but I'm somewhat still living in a state of denial where I'm HOPING a miracle (:laughing: )will happen and he'll just sleep..... I've tried CC a few times before but just end up giving in. Plus, I'm in tears as well and in the end, it just ends up giving us both too much grief.

Like I say to my mum - I don't mind rocking/singing/patting him to sleep, but just not EVERY 40mins!

Ozzysmum - YES I do lie there in bed waiting for him to wake up because I think "it's harder to resettle him when I've been woken up, so I'll just wait and go to sleep AFTER I've resettle him. That way, I'll get a little more sleep as opposed to being woken JUST as I've fallen asleep".
One question I have, and its about Brauer's Calm. Is it basically a sedative? I don't really want to be sedating him.....

Melbryan - You do have a point regarding the possibility of whether he's got a sore tummy or if it's wind. I'll speak to the CHN about it. I have a feeling it may not be because when I distract him, he will stop crying. It's just that when I tell him it's sleepy time, he'll start crying again. He does throw his upper body about but its as though he's trying to get away from me trying to settling him, if that makes any sense at all. I will definitely get it checked out though, but is there any easy way to tell?

I'm about to start a thread in the CC section as I think I may have done it today for his daytime nap without realising... he just wouldn't stop crying and I'd had enough, so I put him down. Then I went back in and couldn't resettle him so I put him down again (again because I'd had enough) and after a couple of goes, he'd fallen asleep. The thing is, he fell asleep in my arms not in his cot...... I feel terrible for him though...

[elissas]

Hey Priscilla,

There are a number of options other than CC - and much better ones that you'll feel more comfortable with, because they are gentle and loving, not about ignoring your child's cries and needs. They are out there - one is the book I mentioned earlier called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I also recommend reading anything by Pinky McKay. There are things you can incorporate into playtime that help them to settle when it's time to sleep.

My sling is a saviour. As is massage, fresh air, sunshine, and singing.

I know exactly how you feel, as DS is a catnapper during the day and wakes at least 3-4hrly at night. 4hrly would be a good night. Sometimes it's every 1.5-2hrs.

But I'm starting to use some of Elizabeth Pantley's ideas and it seems to be getting better.

Brauer's Calm isn't a sedative, it is a homeopathic remedy that helps to relax them. It is brilliant. DS was having panic attacks since his surgery 6 weeks ago, and it has been a lifesaver. It doesn't dope him up. He wakes up as he normally would, and isn't dopey at all. It just helps them go to sleep.

The reason my DS has so much trouble with sleep is the same thing my DH has had all his life. An overactive brain. I can see it ticking. He is so aware of what is going on around him that he doesn't want to miss a second.

Good luck.

[ozzysmum]

i think that's ozzy's problem too - overactive brain. i was watching him last night (up from 11pm-3am) and he was in his cot playing with his hands and arms; clapping, drumming his fingers, reaching out and stuff. when he was little i used to watch him wake up and he'd make a million different faces, like he was practising them, and i think he's now doing the same kind of thing but with his body.

true on the brauer's calm, too - it's not a sedative, just a combination of different types of chammomile and aloe - it's excellent for grown-ups who are getting very stressed too (one shot for the baby, two shots for mum;))

i'm also convinced that controlled crying isn't the way to go - it's just not for us mums who can't bear it. i also am beginning to think that some babies are sleepers and some just aren't - just like adults - and no amount of trying to fit them into a "perfect" sleep pattern is going to work if they just can't do it.

again- good luck. remember always that one day he'll be 15 and we'll be on here getting advice on how to get them to stop sleeping all day!!