HELP ME! My 4 yo is getting the better of me!!

[babytoo]

Oh God...deep breath deep breath.....my 4 yo is right now screaming at me....the problem is that my husband goes away for work and he just always seems to get the better of me and thinks he is boss....I don't know what to do...all we end up doing is yelling at each other! He is normally pretty good when daddy is home but right now I am on the edge....he whinges, yells, throws things at me, talk back, doesnt listen and right now screaming because I won't let him play with his leap pad in bed......heeeellllllpppppppp!:banghead:

[suemp]

i so know what you mean :banghead: cant offer much help as id be doing it myself but i look forward to seeing others reponces. 1 thing i do that does work is take a favourite toy away from my son and stash it till he is better. time out sometimes works

[cwsmum]

:hugs: I hope he is sleeping now...or at least quiet :hugs:

I know what you mean about being a different child when daddy is home, my 3yr old DS is the same. I get soooo stressed it's not funny. I have solved half our problems by only giving him 3 chances to do whatever it is I'm asking then I take away a toy, usually the one distraction him from whatever minor thing I want him to do. He has also decided that he has to have a toy car, or similar, in bed with him at night...so I let him, then I take it out once he's asleep.

The last few weeks we have been having huge arguements with him about him staying in bed, I asked him one night why he didn't like to go to sleep in his bed, he told me it was too dark and there was noises (the cows outside). So now, at bedtime he is allowed to choose one thing to take into bed with him, sometimes he chooses a book other times a small toy, then we ask if he wants the light on or off, then he has to stay in bed and go to sleep. Every night since we started doing this he has been asleep within half an hour :smiliedance: I'd much rather him lay in bed and read/play quietly for 30mins than have him getting out of bed for over an hour every night.

That's just what works for us...oh, and also if DH is away working we call him just before DS goes to bed so they can say goodnight. DH tells DS to stay in bed, etc, just like he would if he was at home :)

[LA62]

My DD does this when going to bed..

And i used the super nanny one..dont talk...no recation..they come out of bed..i put them back each time

this could be half an hour some nights...., stick with it and you will get there whatever..may it be it the naughty corner etc..just keep to a routine :thumbsup:

Im now day 7 and no probs last night and tonight..may take a while

4 year olds are the worst !:yes:

:hugs: your not the only one:D

[babytoo]

Emergency over....DS is sound asleep...he says he is going to think about the way he has been treating me and apologise to me in the morning....lol at least I can laugh now!

Yes..tried the toy thing and it doesnt really work, he just finds something else! I try to tone things down a few decibels also because DD is asleep and don't want to wake her. It is really hard...maybe yeah a phone call right before he goes to bed to daddy might be a good idea. I feel really bad at all the yelling I have just done as well...:(

Need a glass of wine.....:yes:

[Mamaduke]

For the last few months we've been using 'The Good Book' with Jesse.
His kinder teacher suggested to me when I asked her for suggestions on his increasing boundary pushing.
She has a son too and said it worked for her.
I bought an exercise book and on the front I wrote...
"Jesse's Good Book" and on the first page wrote, "This book is to remind all of us of the wonderful things Jesse's done every day".
It took a couple of days to get the hang of it, but just before bed every night we get the book out, sit down together (Jesse & I, as DH works afternoon shift), and Jesse says the good things he's done throughout the day and I write them. They may be as trivial as 'did a painting at kinder' but within a few days I noticed Jesse thinking of things to do so he'd have something to put in the book - setting the table, packing toys away, not yelling or getting angry etc. It's worked so well! On our recent holiday the thing he wanted to take the most was his good book, 'because I'll do lots of good things in Queensland Mum!'
He also had show & tell at kinder recently and was very proud to show off his book to all of his kinder friends.
It's just changing the focus onto the good behaviour, recognising and rewarding it...even if it is just talking and writing it down, he's seen it as a reward, instead of always reacting and recognising the bad behaviour...which I found myself doing alot!
Give it a try - it's really worked for us.:thumbsup:

[v8mum]

I know what you mean. My son is 41/2. Taking a toy away from him didn't work either, he would just find something else to play with. I have been to a behavoural workshop last year and it was for 6wks, 3 times a week 1/2 hour each time. Very good. They taught me there that if you want to take charge and get your child to listen and do as you say then not to ask them to do something but tell them. eg. not "could you please pick up those toys" but to say "pick up those toys thanks joshua". Always use the childs name too. Also if they are chucking a tantrum or screaming to walk away and ignore. I know it is hard sometimes but i perservered with it and it does work. If you have told them to do something and they don't listen or continue screaming etc ignore and then after about 10secs ask again and then just ignore altogether. I also found that if they didn't listen and i ignored again after about another 10secs i said "when you are ready to listen to me and talk to me with some respect then i will listen to you" or something like that and that works too. Hope that helps.:fingerscrossed:

[babytoo]

Oh...I like the sound of the book...might give that a shot! Thanks everyone...was talking to a friend today and she says her 4yo is doing similar things....pulling a real power trip!