SIDS Concerns

[Kirky]

I just wanted to know if I'm the only new mum out there that obsesses about SIDS? Although my son is now 4 months old, I still religiously get up at least once or twice through the night to check on him and make sure he is still breathing. I thought I would get better as he got older, but as I've grown more and more attached to him, I've only gotten worse!

I don't know why I am like this, as I've never lost anyone close to me before, and I follow all the SIDS recommendations religiously. I'm okay with his naps during the day, it's only at night when I put him to sleep and then I go to bed and start thinking what would happen if I went into him one morning and he wouldn't wake up? I don't think I could go on if anything ever happened to him.

Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me? He sleeps in a cot in his own room directly across from our room, and has right from birth. It's starting to really bug me, as I'm constantly sleeping with one ear open listening for any little noise he makes to assure me he is okay. The loss of sleep is starting to get to me!

[Rell]

Yes I was the same with my 1st. I was constently cheaking she was still breathing. It does get easyer but having said that my son who is 9mths slept till 7.45(a record for him) this morning and I ended going in to make sure he was ok. I think as a mother you will always sleep with one ear open it is somthing that is built in to us (unlike males who can sleep through anything)

[TwoBlue]

Hi Kirky

I dont believe you are alone at all !!!
Myself when my DS was younger (from birth till about 8 or so months) was always checking to see if he was breathing during the night, even during day naps !!

When he started rolling and often would roll onto his tummy during sleep it took me soooooo long to handle it !! but there was no point in rolling him back as he would just roll back again !! :p

Anyway in time i started to relax a bit but still today (He is 17mths) if i wake up duing the night i will check on him or if hubby gets up i will ask him to check and also in the morning if i happen to wake to silence i get very anxious and have to check that he is ok !!

I am sure other mums are much the same.... especially when bubs are still very little and new like yours is :) I wonder if i will be more relaxed for this next bubba? :confused:

[drewid]

I, too, used to check on bub often when he was newborn. I think its just that instinct and fear of loss that kicks in.

Now, however, I don't feel the need to constantly check on him through the night. But i do find that if i wake up on my own, as opposed to waking up to his cries, that i do panic a bit! Its VERY rare that i get to wake up naturally, so that always shoots fear through me when i wake up! When he sleeps right through the night, in a 12 hour stretch, you do worry, but i am learning that its ok. He is strong enough and well able to get himself on his back, and to take something off his head if a sheet covers him. Not that it has much chance of happening - he's tucked in very securely, and if anythign, i find the blankets kicked down at the bottom of the cot, never anywhere up near his face.

I understand the fears about SIDS, but realistically - checking on them every few hours isn't going to help really. Its sounds blunt, but if you're baby is going to stop breathing, you checking on them isn't going to stop that from happening, do you know what i mean?

As long as you exercise all the *rules*, no loose blankets, toys in cot, not overdressed, no smoking etc etc, then that is as much as you can do. We are all always going to worry about our children, even where they are 40 and grown up with a family of their own. This is just the first of many things that is going to scare us.

I read somewhere (probably on bub hub!) that the more important thing is to know what to DO if you find them not breathing/in a life threatening situation. So i would try to focus your energies and fear into learning how to cope if it did happen, and other first aid type things. That way your fear is being channelled into something positive.

Just my 2 cents! :)

[Mumof3Princesses]

I was a bit like that with my first too! It's only natural. I used to put my finger below DD1's nostrils so I could feel her exhaling.
Maybe a monitor on at night so you can hear him breathe may help? Sometimes static interference gets in the way but for peace of mind, it is great.

Good luck and know that in time it gets easier. :)

[StormAngel]

hi

i have been paranoid with all four of my kids, i just couldn't help it!

[mumof2girls]

I had 2 children who were sids babies, thankfully we had them with us when they stopped breathing and were able to save them and they were on monitors for the first 12 months of their lives as they would stop breathing anywhere from 16-30 times a night (which is really scary) as the monitor goes off all the time day & night. They are now aged 12 & 14 and we still check on them to make sure they are okay. I'm not sure if it's just a parent thing or whether it stems from all the times they stopped breathing as babies, some get over some don't :)

[Jamily]

mumof2 girls

I can't believe what you had to go through. Thats amazing. So glad to hear that they are ok.

I too worry about SIDS and often check on bub - relieved to hear I am not the only one!

[mumof2girls]

Dear clairet;

Thankyou it was scary at first but it then becomes second nature and just routine (but never relaxing), we are fortunate that they have grown into beautiful, healthy young ladies and I thank god and modern technology everyday for allowing us to have our daughters here :) This is one charity that we donate heavily to each year, it is never far from our minds though and we would never them until the youngest one was 6 years old, they never spent 1 day away from us. I think it is a fear that most parents have, and I think it's because no-one can explain what happens.

[mummycloud]

I am having my 4th and I'm sure I'm going to stress about SIDS because I did with my second and third. Infact, I've already prepared myself for 12 months of stressing about it. I KNOW I'm going to stress about it.

With my second, I met a girl during my pregnancy that lost her baby boy to SIDS at 5 months. Once I had my little girl I was a mess. I only slept 2 hours a day and that was when I had someone to watch her while I slept.
It drove me into depression from lack of sleep.

I was pretty bad with my thrid too. I called the SIDS 24 hour helpline 3 times during the first 5 months of her life.

If you follow the recommended steps to SIDS prevention, then you lower the risks so much that it's highly unlikely it would happen. The risk of a tree falling through the roof and landing on the crib is higher.
If you find yourself not able to enjoy your baby because you are so stressed out and tired though worrying about SIDS, then you should seek counselling (JMO).
Take it from someone who's literally driven herself crazy over it ;)

[ThomasMum]

I used to put my finger below DD1's nostrils so I could feel her exhaling.


DH & I are like that at all the time! We always check on our Thomas, we turns up the baby monitor in full blast, etc etc.

I think it's normal to go through these. And for us we'd sleep better knowing that Thomas is safe and sounds in the next room!

[oscarsmilkbar]

Hi there...

My DS is 9 months old this week and I have gotten progressively worse over the last few months. I still check him at least 2 times during the night and day sleeps.
I am hoping that I will work my worried little self out of this soon.

A lady my mother knew lost her 21 month old daughter to SIDS this year... only 4 weeks before her second was due and I just can't imagine that happening.

[summerly]

Now that I am a mum I bring paranoia to a whole new level. I am so attuned to my daughter's sleeping that I can get up in the night and check on her without even really waking up. Though walking straight into the wardrobe will usually do it. I think I still check on her at least 2 times a night and when hubby comes to bed after me apparently I talk in my sleep and ask him if he has checked on the baby (even though she is nearly 5 now). I think the paranoia you feel is a good thing. It means that you are good and caring mother - some even say it is natures way of making sure that your child survives - some sort of instinct that kicks in after baby is born. Besides, you'd feel guilty if you weren't constantly checking.

[serendipity22]

A couple of years ago, a tree at my uncle's place broke the neighbours roof. (No-one was hurt).

SIDS has dropped a lot over the last few years and will probably drop even more.

Smoking is one of the worst things, best if people don't smoke anywhere in the same house as a baby. I read a book on SIDS once which mentioned it was found babies whose mothers were heavy smokers had a four and half times chance of SIDs.

[AimeeB]

:wave: bub number 3 is nearly 1 and I still check on her through the night!Thankfully I heard stats the other day and sids incidents has decreased massivly due to the awareness campaigns.This is great news but still doesn't stop you stressing-part of being a mum!

[chubbybubby]

I was the same with DS. But he ended up sleeping with us every night which made me feel better. A friend of mine's baby brother died of SIDS - her parents were heavy smokers. Another woman I know miscarried at about 10 weeks - also a heavy smoker. I just don't know how people can justify smoking when pregnant or around their babies. :(

[mmm7]

We still have a monitor on for DS every night. Not so much during his day sleeps but I do find I will go into his room to check on him anyway.
We have a monitor that has pads under the mattress to help monitor the breathing, we haven't had them go off as yet...:fingerscrossed:

[Sara's Boys]

Sids will always be in the back of my mind, and I dare say every parents mind.

I would like to inform you of the official SIDS website

www.sidsandkids.org


Be sure to get the current and correct info and research. The total baby website mentioned earlier has theory, but also has an online shop used to sell the product they claim saves lives. But there has never been any mention or recognition from Sidsand kids or the international SIDS organisations. Which to me seems odd, so be careful, we all worry but unfortunately there are people who prey on our weaknesses as vulnerable worried parents.

The info you can get from sids and kids will be the most current and have access to the very best in study and research and they don't make profit from you.

[Sara's Boys]

just found this about the other site (sorry to the person who posted it)

http://www.sidsandkids.org/documents/September2005_000.doc

[iamstephyc]

My SIL still has her youngest child in the same room as she stresses about sids. He is now 3 but was very premmie so she worries more about him. But she also had her first in the same room till she was over 3 and her second till she was 2.
I worry too, however, not to that extent. I will still check my kids any time I get up during the night, and if they sleep longer than normal, I find myself going and looking at them to see if they are still breathing. I'll proberbly still do it till they leave home!! :o

[jess_live_die]

both my daughters are ova that stage i still put my hand on my 15month olds cheast to feel if shes breathing i have a great fear of it, i still cheak on my oldest shes 3 years but i hav great fears of sids as well.

[sueliz]

I also have a huge fear of this - and Kirky I so understand what you mean about the fact the feeling of 'paranoia' gets worse as they get older! My husband has had to ban me from watching any shows like House or CSI and so on if babies/children are involved as they get me too upset now! DS is 7 months and I still worry to the point that I won't put him in the cot at my parents to sleep unless I take my monitor/alarm over!! When I was much younger, my Aunt lost a child to SIDS, so I don't know if it is this that makes me worry or if I would have anyway as I know I tend to err a lot on the cautious side.
We have one of those monitor/alarms where the pad goes under the mattress and detects if bubs stops breathing and triggers an alarm so it then allows DH and I to sleep as well otherwise I would be getting up every 10 minutes I am sure! They are a bit on the dear side, but to me it has been worth every cent for peace of mind if nothing else.

[annie06]

Hi

Can someone please tell me the name of the monitors with the pads under them?

Thanks

Annie

[Shellfish]

Hi

Can someone please tell me the name of the monitors with the pads under them?

Thanks

Annie

I have bought the tommee tippee which has the sensing pads http://www.femail.com.au/tommee-tippee-baby-monitor.htm

or you get the Angelcare http://www.babyzonedirect.com.au/catalogue/c1/c132/p1683

I bought one hoping it would give me peace of mind..do they work, or will I still be checking on the baby through-out the night:o ?

[sueliz]

I use the Angelcare one as does my SIL. Her alarm has gone off twice - once they are not sure why but it was only something like the second night home so it scared the bejesus out of them, (as it would), and the second time was because her DD actually moved so far up in the cot she came off the sensor pad and therefore the pad could not detect her breathing. (My SIL ran into the nursery to find her DD grinning proudly at her for moving to the end of the cot!:laughing: )
I test mine every now and then by not turning it off when I take DS out of the cot and the alarm does go off each time.
I have found that it definitely gives me peace of mind. I have the 'hearing' part of the monitor in our room so I can hear him is he gets upset and have batteries in the monitor so that if for some reason there is a blackout, the alarm still works, (I told you I was paranoid!!). I still checked on him when I first brough him home, but had a port=a-cot set up in our room anyway as the nursery was too hot in summer and we had air con in our room, but once I settled and had confidence in the alarm, I slept well knowing that any noise from the monitor would wake me up for sure.
Keep an eye out for sales at Target and K-Mart as they sell these and often have 20% off monitor sales.

[stellarella]

For anyone concerned about SIDS you might be interested in checking out this website.
Just some food for thought.
I know a few people including myself who are using one of these BABESAFE covers.


http://www.totalbaby.com.au/

[Sara's Boys]

sorry to do this again, but I think people should be aware.

For those of you who are going to look at the

TOTALBABY website
[COLOR="Black"]
Please be aware the studies they claim to have done are not recognised at all and cannot be proven, so don't believe to hard in what I believe is a very clever money making venture which takes for granted the vulnerability of us parents.

Before you make your own mind up please look at the officially recognised sids website and what they have to say about TOTAL BABY THEORY..
www.sidsandkids.org/documents/September2005_000.doc COLOR]

[jessgray]

when ds1 first came home at 12 days old i was so paranoid about SIDS. i think DP was more paranoid then me actuallylol he would wander into the room to check on ds when ds was sleeping and see if he was breathing ok.

over time we just got over our paranoia lol it sounds silly nowbut i think all first time parents must get the paranoia.

[~Emmylou~]

I stressed about it alot with my first. I probably will this time as well but I don't think as bad.
I do all I can to ensure it doesn't happen - no smoking in the house, baby on back, new bedding and mattresses, breastfeeding etc etc. So that's all I can do, the rest is out of my hands so I try to relax.

I remember with my first, my fretting peaked at around 4 months too, and I got hold of some Qld Health stats that showed the SIDS rates for Qld and what age, and you can clearly see from those that SIDS happens most commonly between 2-3 months. Both before and after this the risk is significantly lower - by the time they are about 7 months old it starts to decline until it's almost nothing by 12 months. That made me feel much better.

[Natsmummy]

I'm the same. I'm still checking on DS a number of times a night (and about every 20 minutes before I go to bed) and his cot is still in our room as both my husband and I worry about something happening to him.

[SassyMummy]

I would always freak out too...afraid that she wasn't breathing and had died.

As she got closer to 1 though, I calmed down, and now I only check on her just before i go to bed (otherwise I wake her up and she gets cranky).

I think that, when they're little and helpless, you know that if they get into a sticky situation, (like rolling on their face), they won't be able to solve the problem. Now that DD is older though, if she gets uncomfortable, she just wriggles into a more comfy position...like an adult does. I don't think there's much chance of her suffocated in bed anymore.

[MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea]

I'm paranoid too as I just dont know how I'd cope without my little one. Sometimes when he sleeps longer than expected I'm scared to check on him in case somethings happened and I couldn't handle it if he wasn't breathing, IYKWIM.

Oh, and the monitors do work - my sisters one's alarm went off in the night and she ran in to her DD and when she put her hand on her chest she suddenly did a big gasp - like she'd been holding her breath - and then she started breathing normally again. Imagine if my sister hadn't had the monitor...

Mel

[stellarella]

sorry to do this again, but I think people should be aware.

For those of you who are going to look at the

TOTALBABY website
[color="Black"]
Please be aware the studies they claim to have done are not recognised at all and cannot be proven, so don't believe to hard in what I believe is a very clever money making venture which takes for granted the vulnerability of us parents.

Before you make your own mind up please look at the officially recognised sids website and what they have to say about TOTAL BABY THEORY..
www.sidsandkids.org/documents/September2005_000.doc (http://www.sidsandkids.org/documents/September2005_000.doc) COLOR]

Perhaps the official SIDS website does not approve this theory but seeing as babies still die of SIDS when parents do all the things recommended to them I am prepared to spend $30 and give it a go, aswell as following all the other recommendations...I am prepared to do everything I can...

Also, just because this theory is yet to be given the all clear, It has no negative aspects apart from $30 so it really cant hurt...and IMO the chemicals found in matresses and synthetic bedding are better being kept away from bub for many health reasons....

[bubs_and_us]

i will be the odd one out here and say, i have never been paranoid about sids. :no:

yes, it is always in the back of my mind, but i try to keep it there. my DS sleeps on his tummy, and has lose bedding (he untucks it himself, little worm)... so i know we dont follow all of the 'reccommendations' but what we are doing is working for us. :yes:

i have never got up in the middle of the night to check on him, and if i wake in the morning to silence, i close my eyes and go back to sleep!

its not that i dont care (because i would be devastated if anything ever happened to him) but i just dont think there would be anything i could do. all it takes is him to stop breathing for a few minutes... checking on him every few hours wouldnt save him. im sorry if this sounds harsh, but i believe that if the angels need him, there is nothing i can do.....

[serendipity22]

Ive heard that breast feeding helps reduce chances of sids.

In my book on sids it said that there once a time (in the 50s) that it might completely prevent sids (but was untrue), but helpful nonetheless.

A cousin of mine about 2 years younger died of sids.

[the_queen]

My eldest is 5, and I still check her breathing every night.

I co-sleep with them both and I find that eliminates the need to get out of bed to check on them :)

[cherrygirl]

For the sake of my sanity I had to make a concious decision to not focus too much on SIDS.
DD2 will only sleep if she has her face touching a blanket or is on her tummy. I hear her playing in her cot and when i go in she has the blanket over her head and the rest of her body uncovered. She thinks its hilarious but it freaks me out.
When DD1 was a bub SIDS said that cot bumpers were bad so i took the off straight away. Later, after i had put bub down, all i could hear was her little body hitting the rails of the cot while she slept. The bumpers went back on that day and stayed until she moved to a bed.

[AM]

I watched a really good programme about SIDS recently, and they talked about the 'triple risk' theory, in which a baby must have a certain combination of factors to die from SIDS.

http://www.sidscenter.org/WhatIsSids.aspx#9

the triple risk thing is in the current research theories and findings part, but the whole article is very good.

Also, the mattress wrapping thing, it was investigated, and vapours were not found to be very prevalent, but what they did find about second hand matresses was that there was a lot of golden staph spores/germs left behind from the previous occupant, so a new cot matress for each child is a good way to go, and to wrap the matress as well if you want to.

I found it very interesting to find SIDS is very rare during the first month, most prevalent during 2 - 4 months - about 85% i think it was.

They are currently looking at how babies levels of different chemical in their bodies change after about one month of age, making some succeptible to SIDS

[bris_mummy-to-be17]

i havent had my baby yet but im already paranoid about sids! ive read lots about it and will do all the recommendations except the only problem is, because im without the babys father i still live at home with my mum and dad. My dad smokes and although he isnt allowed to smoke in the house it doesnt stop him. He has now gotten so lazy that he will stand in the kitchen at the back door and have the back door open and smoke. it really doesnt make any difference but every time i mention to him about all the risks smoking has on my unborn baby and the risks to the baby once she is born he tells me im just picking on him and turns it into an arguement. him and my mum live underneath so he doesnt see any reason not to smoke wherever he pleases when hes down there but the smoke goes right into the babys bedroom ( i know because its my old room) also thats where the laundry is and i will have to go down there with bubs every day to be doing washing and i dont want her to be in an area that just stinks of smoke. i really want the best for my baby and i want my dad to understand that it isnt only better for my babys health, but for his as well. did anybody else have this problem with their partner or anyone else? ive read that just the fact that he smokes doubles the risk. does anyone have any advice because it would be so greatly appreciated!

[AM]

Perhaps just leave some literature around for him to 'stumble' across, and hopefully read, or try telling him you are NOT trying to get at him, you are simply really scared for your baby, hmmmmmmmmm stubborn dads are difficult!
I suppose getting your own place is out of the question?
Good luck anyway, and all the best with your upcoming birth! :)

[bris_mummy-to-be17]

yes definately out of the question. the amount of money i'll be getting wont even cover the cost of rent :eek:

i got a "quit pack" a few months ago and left it out but he threw it away lol.

i'm thinking i might get an aircon put in bubbys room so i can keep the window closed during the day when he smokes?

also bubby will be in my room in a basinette for the first few weeks or so so hopefully me and mum can train him during this time lol.

yes stubborn dads are hard!! :D perhaps we could set up an area in the backyard with chairs and stuff thats just for his smoking.. not sure if he would use it but i spose its worth a try.

thanks for your trying to help. hope i can come up with something!

[Latool]

Recently i have had my first child and we had a natural birth with no pain releif, which allowed us to volenteer for a SIDS reseach programe which should help bring us mothers minds to some clarirty.

It involves them sticking probes on him 4 times a year for the first year and monitoring his sleep for 1 night, they place him on his belly and back so study the differences with his breathing and brain activity at different ages to see what is "normal" and to compare the results to children who have had a near miss with SIDS. So far they have told me that they are not seeing a danger with babies that sleep on their bellies or backs.

I 2 worry as all mothers and at first was scared when i touched his face to feel it was cold... but he moved, it was only the air conditioning, but now i am getting into a routine with him sleeping from anywhere between 9-12 hours a night. I still wake at least once and check on him.

In case your interested in some more info regarding this just pst me im happy to share!

[Rhys'Mum]

SIDS has always been a concern for me and I was really surprised with some of my friends who were actually a bit blase and ignored the SIDS recommendations. But I don't compulsively check on him, I don't lie at night worrying about it and if i start to imagine bad things happening I make a conscious choice to stop it and think about something positive. How am I able to do that?????

I take whatever steps I can to make him as safe as possible and accept that I can do no more and that worrying or constantly checking is not going to change things.

I am fortunate that we were given an AngelCare monitor and that does give a sense of security. He has set it off when he was really badly congested and struggling to breathe and rather than scaring me more it means I can sleep when he's sick and I don't need to sit up with him. Our sensor pad is placed in the middle and even though he moves all around the cot we've not had a false alarm.

He's 15 months now and some things have crept in that I'm not so keen on - he turns himself onto his belly, he takes a cuddly toy to bed and won't resettle without it and he pulls his blanket out and pulls it over his head. Some of this I can't change and others I'm not prepared to (previous attempts have seriously upset a hard fought sleep routine) so... I put him in a sleeping bag to keep warm and make sure his blanket is a cellular cottton one that he can easily breathe through, I make sure his cuddly toy has not got any choking hazards and I place him on his back when I put him in the cot so its then his choice what position he finds and he can control it.

Its amazing how strong a mother's protective instincts can be and that it seems different mothers will focus somewhat compulsively on different things, for some its SIDS, for others it food, falling, development, strangers all part of being a mother I guess. But if its seriously impacting on your life maybe its worth getting a referral from the MACH nurses to a social worker, because sometimes talking to someone who's not immediately involved about your concerns can actually help you work through them, validate how you feel and find ways to cope.

[theycallmemum]

Can I suggest you get an Angelcare sound and movement monitor? I have one with this bub and it is the best thing I ever bought. An alarm goes off if it doesn't detect breathing for 20 secs. This is the first baby I have been able to put to bed and not check on every 15 mins, wish it had been around 10yrs ago.

[bris_mummy-to-be17]

they sound like a good idea - how much are they and where can you get them?
thanks!

[theycallmemum]

I got mine from Target when they had 20% off monitors for $147 (normal price is $179). The Target one has one pad that goes under the mattress. Babies Galore and Toys'r'us have the same brand but it has two pads that go under the mattress for $199.

I've found that the one I have is extremely sensitive and even when my bub moves off the pad (he's started to scoot forward) it still picks up every breath so I'm not sure it's really necessary to pay the extra for the 2 pad model.