bullying at pre school

[suemp]

i dont know if afew of you read my thread a little while ago about my son not wanting to go to school due to bullying. well today was ds day off so i bit the bullet and went and saw his teachers. the first 1 i saw was the assistant. she asked what i was doing there and i said ds is being bullied i want to talk to someone. her response was to roll her eyes and tell me to let the main teacher deal with it. she was busy so the assistant went on to say that they dont have eyes in the back of their heads and as my son does not go and tell them its my sons fault. she said if he cant deal with it in pre school how will he cope in big school.
then the teacher came out and asked wat the problem was. i told her and she and the assistant went thru with my son what to do the next time he was picked on
i left feeling like i was wasting their time or something. should i take it up with the principal or leave it at that?

[ForeverMine]

I would be bringing it up with someone higher.

There should be 100% no bullying policy at pre school's, school's etc.

I remember when my nephew was being bullied at pre-school (he was being bitten and punched, along with a few others) everyone involved, teachers, kids and parent's were sat down and discussed the issue at hand. In the end the child who was bullying was asked to leave as he was affecting the kids so much. My nephew use to hate doing to pre-school and now loves it.

Your son should be happy and has a right to feel safe at his pre-school. When the teacher's won't do anything about it, imo, it's just not good enough.

[cheeky.chicken]

I never want to let my little baby girl out of my sight after reading your post. I can't believe that kids are bullying in preschool and what a rude approach by all concerned at the school. I feel terribly for you and like the other mums I too would suggest taking this higher. Your little boy shouldn't have to be dealing with bullying yet. Don't let them make you feel as though you are wasting their time, that is what they get paid for after all isn't it? I thought their job was to take care of and nuture little ones, not make useless comments to concerned parents. Gosh this makes me mad. :mad:

I would love to know how you get on with this so please keep us posted.

All the best.

Kaz

[Rainbowbrite]

Thats disgusting, and just makes us more confidant that home schooling is the way to go :yes:

[suemp]

thanks guys :)
my son was actually teased at day care too. he is a quiet boy and an easy target but atleast when i approached them they took action by teaching the kids about feelings and how it hurts etc when you say nasty things. which did help a lot.

this time i told them the main instigator: its calling names, telling my son he is stupid and pushing. then there is a big group, as the main culprit is a popular kid, stand around and laugh which makes it worse. i thought if i let the teachers know they would atleast offer to approach the boys parents or something but all they said was if he did it for my son to say "stop i dont like it" and if he did it again for my son to tell the teachers and the boy will have time out but my son is so quiet he wont tell the teachers.

its gotten to the stage that his class had a big excursion the other day to dreamworld and instead of being excited my son was bawling his eyes out as soon as the other boy turned up.
mind you too this is all at an apparent anti bullying school :confused:

[Sarie]

That is just disgusting. I often worry about my little man, he's very quiet and often avoids the biger rougher kids. Luckily I don't think he's having any problems at kindy, he seems to enjoy going.
But I would most definately take it up with the principle. Teachers have a duty of care to look after the kids and make sure that any bullying is stamped out.
Best of luck.

[talon]

My mother is the principal of a primary school which has a preschool attached to it and I say definitely see the principal about it.

If you know who the child is and what they have been doing, the principal should take it upon themselves to address the issue with the child/ren and maybe even let that child's parents know what is going on.

Even if you don't have enough evidence at that point for the principal to do something about it, they will at least document the issue so if the problem keeps occurring there will be documented history which can be used down the track to take disciplinary action if it becomes an ongoing problem throughout the child's primary education at that school.

Also, depending on the school, a discussion with the class coming from the principal about bullying and its consequences is more likely to have an impact (principal = scary factor).

JMO. :hugs:

[Sarie]

Yup what kriscee said!

[PhAnToM]

i dont know if afew of you read my thread a little while ago about my son not wanting to go to school due to bullying. well today was ds day off so i bit the bullet and went and saw his teachers. the first 1 i saw was the assistant. she asked what i was doing there and i said ds is being bullied i want to talk to someone. her response was to roll her eyes and tell me to let the main teacher deal with it. she was busy so the assistant went on to say that they dont have eyes in the back of their heads and as my son does not go and tell them its my sons fault. she said if he cant deal with it in pre school how will he cope in big school.
then the teacher came out and asked wat the problem was. i told her and she and the assistant went thru with my son what to do the next time he was picked on
i left feeling like i was wasting their time or something. should i take it up with the principal or leave it at that?

Do our kids go to the same place?
Well, used to go.
DD has been pulled out as of last Wednesday... still in dispute about the 2 weeks notice. :rolleyes:
I can't believe how many issues we've had with them now. :devil6:

Go higher is my advice.
This is the age where you make or break nasty habits and characteristics... They are paid to supervise, protect and teach right from wrong! They are not volunteers! :mad:
Not going to do much for your son's confidence to be able to fend himself if he is exposed to it so early either.
Honestly, do they require ANY child psychology training to look after kids these days, or is it any one can do it???

[rainbowbeetle]

sounds like you're in qld with your talk of dreamworld, so i know you're school system is a little different to ours here in nsw.

i work in long day care, with preschool age children, and it never ceases to amaze me as to some of the stuff these children of 5 and under come out with.
some of it, is damn awful, and we try to discourage that behaviour as best we can.

it makes me sad to think of what these children must be being taught in their home environment.

i hope you can sort something out for your son. it stinks he doesnt feel comfortable enough to enjoy his day at school.

and yes, go to higher powers if there are some.

[rainbowbeetle]

Go higher is my advice.
This is the age where you make or break nasty habits and characteristics... They are paid to supervise, protect and teach right from wrong! They are not volunteers! :mad:
Not going to do much for your son's confidence to be able to fend himself if he is exposed to it so early either.
Honestly, do they require ANY child psychology training to look after kids these days, or is it any one can do it???

please dont be so quick to judge child care workers.

we're not all to be tarred with the same brush.

[mrsd]

I agree about going higher and, if you don't get an appropriate response, take your DS elsewhere.

Do you know where he is likely to go to school ? Are you friendly with any other families with children his age (including those already at his preschool) who may attend his school ?

Inviting other little children (and Mums if necessary) around for a play means that he can develop friendships which may make him a smaller target. Kids tend to bully those kids who are alone. If your DS has some friends to play with, those kids may also protect him from bullying by standing up for him and encouraging him to go to his teacher by accompanying him.

I used to invite some of the lesser bullies around to play with my kids. In a supervised environment, I could redirect inappropriate behaviours and bullies often only perform in groups. Break up the group and it doesn't work.

To be honest (as mum of mostly Primary kids) it's not preschool that matters. Preschool is all a socialisation process. If it's not working, you can afford to experiment until it does. Changing big schools is a lot more difficult.

The other thing is your parent body - do you have one for your preschool ? Could you suggest that the anti-bullying policy is reviewed ?

Good luck with it. Hope it gets better for your little one.

[PhAnToM]

please dont be so quick to judge child care workers.

we're not all to be tarred with the same brush.

Sorry.. that wasn't my intention.
It was based on the response the OP got and that in certain centres, they don't require it.
And also because this is become more and more common.
I believe that anyone who works with children should be qualified to work with children. Then they won't be so quick to dismiss issues like this.

This is not to say ALL childcare workers are not qualified. My DD had a couple of fantastic qualifieds at her childcare.. the problem is, there are really only the 2 of them, and they are also the Director and acting director.. so when one goes, she has (well had, as i had to pull her out) no qualifieds in her room.

I apologise if anyone took it to mean that I was attacking child care workers on the whole.