were you dissapointed

[carebears]

please dont judge me i only want your thought on the subject not to think i am a bad mother please stick to topic

thanks


was anyone else dissapointed or shocked the first time you saw your baby that maybe he/she didnt look how you expected , hair colour, skin tone ect ? i know this doesnt mean you will love them any less but how did you cope looking at your baby every day that they wernt as you imagined :-(

[DanceInTheRain]

I don't know yet cause i'm pregnant with my first. It's hard to imagine what he will look like, so I don't really have much of a picture in my head! I have prepared myself for when he first comes out though, after watching lots of babies being delievered on TV shows like 'a baby story' on foxtel!! They are usually purple or grey and covered in vernix and goop lol. I have warned DP that he probably won't look very pretty at first haha!!

[RHJ]

I was quite shocked with my 2nd. I had really pictured him looking like my first, and it did take me a bit longer to really click that he was mine. Helped that he was cute, but yeah there was a bit of shock there at first for sure. My first was blond and he was brunette, and very much like me (only male) lol. I had also thought he may have been a girl, so that was there too. but i still really loved him and had that magic with him,but he was different to what i had expected.

[IndigoJ]

My first thought was omg are they supposed to be that big!!!
Then the nurse guessed 9pd, mum guessed 7pd and i guessed 8pd. He was 9pd12oz. I was expecting something smaller, i didnt think i would be able to push something so large out, but i did.

[carebears]

I was quite shocked with my 2nd. I had really pictured him looking like my first, and it did take me a bit longer to really click that he was mine. Helped that he was cute, but yeah there was a bit of shock there at first for sure. My first was blond and he was brunette, and very much like me (only male) lol. I had also thought he may have been a girl, so that was there too. but i still really loved him and had that magic with him,but he was different to what i had expected.

thanks that makes me feel better :-) i havnt had bubs yet but i am white and dad is dark i am not sure what to expect a little white mini me or a dark mini him im sure ill love him/her just the same , right ?? :-)



My first thought was omg are they supposed to be that big!!!
Then the nurse guessed 9pd, mum guessed 7pd and i guessed 8pd. He was 9pd12oz. I was expecting something smaller, i didnt think i would be able to push something so large out, but i did.

well done indigo , lets hope for your sake your babies get smaller not bigger lol

[c2p08]

I wasnt so much dissapointed with DD more with everyone's comments about DD. its only really now (3 years later) that i dont cop the comments constantly..

such as...

''oh wow she looks nothing like you, only like *ex-dp*''

or...

''dont you feel glad she looks just like her father''

and...

''wow im so glad she looks like *ex-dp*''

Yea thanx, i just carried this child for 9 months and now i have to hear constantly that im too ugly for DD to look like me and that everyone is glad she looks like her father! well, hello!! check out my baby pics, SHE LOOKS LIKE ME TOO!!!

grr.


But, with her gender, i wanted a son first, but since leaving her father im glad i didn't have a son coz i know that he would have tried to take the child off me whereas now hes happy just visiting on weekends..

[carebears]

I wasnt so much dissapointed with DD more with everyone's comments about DD. its only really now (3 years later) that i dont cop the comments constantly..

such as...

''oh wow she looks nothing like you, only like *ex-dp*''

or...

''dont you feel glad she looks just like her father''

and...

''wow im so glad she looks like *ex-dp*''

Yea thanx, i just carried this child for 9 months and now i have to hear constantly that im too ugly for DD to look like me and that everyone is glad she looks like her father! well, hello!! check out my baby pics, SHE LOOKS LIKE ME TOO!!!

grr.


But, with her gender, i wanted a son first, but since leaving her father im glad i didn't have a son coz i know that he would have tried to take the child off me whereas now hes happy just visiting on weekends..

OMG that is awful i cant believe some ppl they have some nerve , why would they say that :-(
im sure you are gorgeous your daughter would be lucky to look like you :-)

[c2p08]

OMG that is awful i cant believe some ppl they have some nerve , why would they say that :-(
im sure you are gorgeous your daughter would be lucky to look like you :-)

thank you. she is adorable, blonde hair blue eyed baby girl. absolutly beautiful, she lookss like a little doll lol.

[emmwill]

I would really love a child to look like me. Our 3 children are all spitting images of their dad. No one ever says boy.......... looks like you.

I tell DH I will keep having kids until one come out looking like me.

[DanceInTheRain]

Carebears I am the same, I'm white and DP is dark, so it's a guessing game as to who he will look like more lol! :)

[Bambibambino]

I tell DH I will keep having kids until one come out looking like me.

:laughing::laughing::laughing: good luck!!!!


When Ds was born I was so caught up in the joy I didn't really notice till we got back to our room his little nose was all pushed to one side :p must have been that way in utero for quite some time. I was a bit worried he was going to have a permantly squished and lopsided nose but it came good after about a week lol

[Countrydeb]

My 4th son[who i had serious gender disappointment issues with] came quickly after a long wait to get induction going ,he was quite swollen in the face as i think he'd been pressing on something for a while ,he didn't look how i thought he would ,and he was all his father ,would have liked to have seen a little bit of me after all i did all the work lol......only took a day for swelling to settle and there is more of me in his look now,poor little blighter haha.....

[grigersam]

yeah,
i was pretty shocked to know that i gave birth to a boy, as i was expecting a baby girl... but as soon as he was shown to me i forgot all my expectations and he looked a lot like me... i wondered to look at that small, cute lovable....
really no words to explain...

i love my kid...no disappointments
:ecomcity:

[Rheanna]

dd2 looked just like her dad and was abit squishy looking.
but since dd1 looked so much like me i was abit suprised i guess at dd2 but knew she was mine coz she was a mini dp lol

with her i was abit dissapointed she was a girl so was dp, he really wants a son.
and i know with this one if its another girl there will be alittle dissapointent again.. but as long as they are healthy it makes the little dissapointment of gender go away quick iykwim

[moozle]

I totally understand your concerns but I'm sure when you set your eyes on your bub you'll wonder why you ever worried about it :) Babies change so much and so quickly! DS looks nothing like he did when he was born... he had dark, straight hair when he was born and now it's blonde and curly! All the best with your upcoming birth :hugs: I'm sure your bub will be gorgeous!

[AM]

thanks that makes me feel better :-) i havnt had bubs yet but i am white and dad is dark i am not sure what to expect a little white mini me or a dark mini him im sure ill love him/her just the same , right ?? :-)

My ex and I are exactly like this. I FULLY expected my first baby to be blonde and blue eyed like me, it was actually totally unconscious, and i did not realise i even had that 'picture' of bub in my head until he was born, with a head of very dark hair! He definitely is a 'dark mini him' and I just did a double take when he was born, thinking what the heck??? But it was over just like that, and we bonded straight away... I guess 'no' expectations are the best.. just going with the flow!

Then when my second was born, I was expecting a repeat of his brother, but now i have a blonde and blue eyed boy as well... go figure!

And our third son 'seems' to be a mix of everything so far.

Just shows how mixed up those genes can get :)

I have a friend who is married to a Thai man, her son looks VERY Thai, dark skin, black hair, and her daughter looks JUST like her, white skin, blonde. You would NOT pick the two of them to be full brother and sister... It's quite fascinating really :)

[poppygirl]

It feels weird now, cos i think my little boy is the most gorgeous creature ever made, but when he was born, i was really disappointed. I could look at him and know that he was a perfectly gorgeous baby, with a lovely round head and blonde hair and huge cheeks etc, but i had thought, totally, that i was having a girl who would look like me, with brown hair, big brown eyes, olivey skin, chubby....then they pull out this squishy fair skinned blondey, and i was shocked. Having a boy, and not the girl i had thought i was having, and thought i so wanted, actually contributed significantly to my PND....feels weird now to even say it, but it really did make me sad. It was all cos of the expectations i had, and of the picture i had in my head of our child, and us as a family....and when it didnt happen, i think my mind was like, "Crap, now what do we do!!!". I am pregnant again, and have no preconceived ideas about what we will get this time around, so can genuinely look forward to a surprise! Good luck x:flowerz:

[Ritali]

When DS1 was born all I could think of was how perfect and gorgeous he looked. He was so tiny (6lb), had a cute little button nose, full red lips and gorgeous bright eyes. I don't know what exactly I was expecting, but I know I wasn't disappointed.

DS2 was born early and unexpectedly. We'd had a 3D scan of him at 20 weeks so we kinda knew he looked like DH, but when he was born and I saw him for the first time, my heart sank as I was told it was a boy (I was hoping for and expecting a girl), then when I actually saw him all I saw was this puffy, squished up face still covered in goop, with his eyes firmly shut. He was all wrapped up and I could only see a bit of his face, and he was taken to special care as he was early so I didn't see him again for another 18 hours or more. So between looking all yucky and puffy, and knowing I had another boy when I (and everyone else) was hoping for a girl, I was quite disappointed.

Now however, he has grown into the most gorgeous little boy, and I'm not just saying that cos I'm his mum, I'm told all the time even by total strangers how adorable he looks. Even by the time we brought him home from hospital, he had changed and was the cutest little thing. Even my FIL said he was the "prettiest" baby he's ever seen (and for FIL to say something like that, well thats something....).

[baby no 2]

i had a scan at 20 weeks and it is a boy, but she printed out a 3D picture that i did not ask for and he looked really funny, and i have that picture in my head as ......is that what he'll look like........im not sure i really wanted to see that photo....

[Ritali]

baby no 2,

Although 20 week 3-D ultrasound pics can give you a very good idea of what your bub looks like, bear in mind that they can be taken from awkward angles, and that bub still has a lot of "fattening up" to do. Our 20 week u/s pic of DS2 wasn't really what I wanted to see either - DH even said he looked like an ugly little alien really! Yet as I said in my previous post, by the time he came home from hospital, and that newborn puffiness etc had settled down, he is just gorgeous. So try to remember that your bub still has a lot of growing and changing to do. I've seen a lot of bad-quality 3D u/s pics in my time, and when the babies are eventually born, they look so much better than they did in their ultrasounds!

[jade24]

My DS2 was probably one of the ugliest newborns I've ever seen! He was birthed in one contraction, I only pushed 2 times - didn't even feel him come down the birth canal, he wasn't there one second and he was out the next. Very fast. So, of course he came out completely swollen and all purple. After the midwives left the room, I looked at DH and said "Oh my god, he's not cute!!" DH took some pics to show his mum and he said to her "He's not very photogenic" :laughing:
When I was walking from delivery to my room, the midwife who delivered him stopped a collegue and was like "Isn't he cute?" I was like WHAT??! Still to this day I think they were all talking about the "ugly baby". Paranoid, I know.

Anyway, my point is that, yes, when he was born DS2 was not a cute baby, but fast forward a few weeks and his swelling went down and the bruising faded and now, at 13 months, he is probably my most beautiful baby! It's normal for babies to not look so good at birth, and saying it out loud or acknowledging to yourself is not a bad thing at all! You will love him/her regardless ;)