Another setback - so disappointed

[Clarabelle]

I took my baby to have her weighed today and she has gained only 40g in 4 days. Last week it was only 70grams. I have gone back to exclusively breastfeeding her after having to offer formula top ups because she was below her birthweight at 5 weeks. She had made excellent progress on the formula - gaining 1kg in two weeks. I've tried so hard to increase my supply and thought all was going well - I've called the paediatrician to see if maybe she shouldn't be gaining so much considering her huge gain at the beginning - but somehow I think 70g over a week is probably not going to be acceptable. I have to think of her health first - she needs to gain weight and if it's not on breastmilk, as my mother says, I may just have to accept it. It is so incredibly distressing to me, considering I have breastfed all 4 others. Please give me some encouragement, or something?!

[sam's mum]

have you checked her progress against the breastfed baby charts, or are they using the formula fed charts?

[JabberJaw]

You are doing well :hugs::hugs:

I dunno about the weekly weighing, i did that with my first DD and made myself sick with worry if she didn't gain.

A broader approach to weight is better, because bub will have a growth spurt and put on an enormous amount is those few days, then other weeks the gain will be small.

My last bub was a little petite little thing and her gains were slight, now at 21 months she is a healthy little thing, not as chubby and squishy as some of the other bubs her age, but still normal so to speak.

Check out WHO website, they have a table of weights for breastfed bubs as they always seem to weigh a little less.

Give yourself a few weeks and then re assess, your milk should be all sorted and more established then.

[MrsTwith3]

Im sorry that bub isnt "gaining" enough but I wouldnt stress so much on the numbers. A gain is soooo much better than a loss.
I would be more concerned about the amount of wet nappies, texture of skin, alertness etc.
There is way too much emphasis put on weight gain in bf bubs which many times over make the mother feel like a failure. They just DON"T gain whopping amounts like ff bubs and the growth charts are still being used based on ff bubs. Maybe have a look at the WHO website for the relevant growth charts for bf bubs and chart your bubs growth on that. Im sure it would look a whole lot better than the ff charts.
Some bubs are just very slow to gain. My DS1 was very slow to gain weight and it turns out he is just a tiny little thing even now at nearly 6yo. His 3yo brother on the other hand is a boof compared to him.
Please give yourself a pat on the back for persisting with it.
Goodluck with everything and have a great xmas.

[SuperGranny]

hi clarabelle, I breastfed all my kids and I only took the last one to a clinic once or maybe twice to be weighed. You have done this before with four children , you know what you are doing, dont stress about the weight. You will know more from the wet nappies, and the skin texture, and the alertness of the bub, if the baby is not getting enough milk. Maybe try to fit in an extra feed, make sure you are getting plenty of good healthy nourishment, and Im sure everything will be fine. Marie.

[Jaspat24]

Hi Clarabelle, i've been foloowing all your other posts regarding BF your bub. I agree with the others about alertness, skin tone, nappies and general settledness of bub. I used to weigh every two weeks so i'd not stress as much. And like another PP said, a gain is still better than a loss.
I too have a slow weight gainer. he dropped to 3rd% at 3-4months and at 8 1/2 months is still gaining slowly; he's steady now on 3rd%. He's not yet double birthweight and i've spent so much time and energy stressing about him. I have the best CHN who is also my LC and she is so encouraging its so nice to have her on my side. I'm still on 4 motilium a day and regularly have doses of lactogenic foods and drink 4-5L of water a day. PM me if you need. :hugs:

[LittleBug'sMum]

Clarabelle, you have worked so hard to get her back to being soley breastfed! Don't give up now!
Weighing after a week or 4 days doesn't give you a great idea about weight gain, a full tummy can be 100g (100mL).
I think the fact that she is gaining weight now is great. Please persevere a little longer, I agree that at the end of the day you do need to think of her health first, but think of all the health benefits of breastmilk, if you can just get past this hiccup in a couple of weeks she might start gaining much faster.
Good luck.

[Lastcenturymum]

Oh hun, it's hard isn't it. I think I replied to one of your other posts - I had one who only gain 50 or maybe 100g a week. Not sure how much you increased your feeding but feeding 12 times a day helped short term, but she went back to only gaining small amounts after that. 4 days is a very short time to be measuring her gains too. :hugs:

[Opinionated]

I agree with the other posters on nappies, demeaner etc.

Also, what are you, your partner and your families builds like? My partner is very slim, as is his sister, father and grandmother. They all have a hard time putting on weight. My children have inherited skinny genes and try as I might I could not fatten them up. I stressed out so much with my first, doing weekly weighs. Since then, I have only done weigh ins at milestone ages. I thought my subsequent kids were bigger, but no when I compare their books, they were all the same at the same age, I was just less stressed.

Also, if you recently had a big gain on the formula, it may be a while before there is another big gain. A baby can't just make huge gains all the time. So long as it is a gain, don't stress. I would space out the weighing intervals and check out the breastfed charts.

[Tegan15]

I'd also look at other things like wet nappies etc
Do lots of skin to skin contact, feed on demand, let baby time their own feeds, when and for how long. All of which you probably know :hugs:
1kg in two weeks :eek: Thats too much weight gain I think. Imagine if we put on 1 kg in 2 weeks? I wouldn't worry about that - it's false weight and false fat.
You can't compare breast milk to formula - formula is not optimal for babies, breast milk is. Maybe you just have a little light weight this time round?

[ejandakrose]

I agree with above posters... I used to weigh weekly in the beginning and it did my head in. Skin tone, wet/dirty nappies, alertness and any type of growth (whether in length or weight) are better indicators of a babies milk intake than huge weight gains according to my pead. I was worried about my milk supply as well. DD is 8 months now and we are still going great.

[Clarabelle]

Thanks everyone. Well, the 1kg weight gain was expected (according to the paed) because she was so far below what her natural weight would have been if her intake had been adequate. She is still about 1kg under what all my others were at the same age. According to those charts in the baby book (which I know are based on ff babies) she's on around the 25th percentile. I suppose my main concern is that she was making good progress when she was having more formula, but now that it's all breastmilk, she's slipping back again. I honestly don't know what to do. I desperately want to be able to breastfeed her, but am so worried that I am perhaps harming her by not allowing her to gain the weight which seemed to be attributed to the formula. I was so incredibly stressed and upset when I got home from the clinic I could not feed her. I haven't had that for over a week. She fussed and cried and tugged at me and I finally resorted to a bottle. First one in a week. My ability to feed her seems to be related to my stress level. I have seriously lost confidence. I rang my mother, and she means well, and tries hard to be sympathetic but her immediate reaction when I told her about the low weight gain today, was "well, you better put her on the bottle, she's not thriving". Even my husband who has been very supportive of my breastfeeding just said "well, why don't you just give her at least one bottle a day". I. don't. want. to.! I am being so stubborn about this, but at the same time, I'm so uncertain. I mean, I looked at some photos today of her a month ago, and she was so thin. It almost made me cry. I couldn't see it at the time really. Loose skin around her arms and skinny little legs. Maybe I can't see it now? These are her weights:
Birth: 3550gms
Discharge 3340gms
3 weeks: approx. 3.5 kgs
Somewhere/somehow between 3 and 5 weeks she lost weight. We were all very sick with vomiting and diarrhea and i had to travel - so I've concluded that this was the reason, but even so, she still took 3 weeks to get close to her birthweight.
5 weeks: 3290gms - Started formula top ups after every bf
6 weeks: 3910gms
7 weeks: 4320gms
Started to lessen formula intake
8weeks: 4390gms GAIN OF ONLY 70GMS
The community health nurse asked me to weigh her again in a day or two to check her progress since I had gone back to fully bf. 4 days later (today at 9weeks) she had gained only 40gms.

What do you think and what would you do? It looks to me like as soon as she went back to being breastfed she's gaining less that what is optimal. Perhaps she's going back to her preset weight or something?
Thanks.

[Opinionated]

Well first things first. Tomorrow is a new day. You can wake up all unstressed and start fresh.

Her weights are good. She is bigger than my kids were at every weigh in, and consistently gaining.

You could try getting one of these (http://www.mothersdirect.com.au/catalogue/id/198/cid/461/parent/0/pid/9/t/catalogue/title/Supplemental+Nursing+System) Rather than bottlefeeding top ups, you could breastfeed them:). This keeps your baby breastfeeding, keeps your supply being stimulated and gives you the peace of mind that all is ok. Instead of putting the tube under the nipple at the start, you could just do it towards the end. Win win. Bubs gets benefit of breast milk and stimulates your breasts to make what is needed, whilst getting a top up. (and it only costs 4-5 tins of formula). By using that, you may find that she actually doesn't need the top ups. When she is breastfeeding. Bottlefeeding is so easy, babies can overfeed sometimes.

Don't give up. Don't doubt yourself. You can do it. You are doing it. She did gain weight in the last 4 days. On average my babies gained between 50-100g per week, so she is on a par with them. :hugs: I know exactly how you feel. I wish I could make this easier for you. It will all work out. She will be a big 2.5yo throwing a hissy fit before you know it.

[BabyPaparazzi]

I think you need to gain confidence in your bodies ability to provide you baby with the exact milk she requires. Everything they need is in breastmilk and it is the best there is for them. The extra weight gain from FF is because of the extra unnecessary calories in it. Your body will give your baby what she wants to be healthy. Maybe ring the ABA and just discuss with someone the benefits, or hire some books out of the library on breastfeeding and gain some positive thoughts on how breast is best.

I think to much emphasis is put on the babies weight these days, and to me weighing that frequently is not going to give an overall picture of bubs long term weight gain, which is the important part. Look at the big picture, since she has born till now she has put on weight, she is happy and developing.

Their weight is going to flactuate from slow to fast and back to slow again for a long time, some babies grow fast in the beginning and others not. Probably having the 1kg weight gain will mean that she will slow down for awhile.

From personal experience I know what it is like for people to look at your child and say 'she is so little, is she being fed enough'. DD was born 7lb, but decided that she is going to grow slowly as well. She is 19months old and can still wear size 0 clothes, but she progressively over this time has put on weight, so her gp does not see an issue.

I dont feel that she is gaining less than optimal, it was no less than my DD. You have done a brilliant job and you should be proud of your committment. Feed you little one how much and whenever she wants and you both will be alright.:thumbsup:

[PunkyDiva]

What bel04 said :thumbsup: and some huge encouraging :hugs: cause this parenting stuff ain't easy.

[miakat]

I know exactly what you are going through - DS has been a poor feeder from about week 2 and I was expressing and topping up with EBM for months just so he would gain weight but it was getting too much and now I just breastfeed him. He will only feed for a couple of minutes and that's it no matter what I do. He also is very slow to gain weight - he gained 90 grams last week and some weeks he hasn't gained anything!!

Even against the b'feeding charts he has dropped right off which isn't good but I can't force him to feed anymore than he is. And he won't drink formula anyway so that is out of the question even if I wanted to!

Anyway I know how hard it is to have a low gainer and to want to keep breastfeeding. Good luck.

[Sheer Bliss]

:iagree: with so many of the PP.

Weight alone is a stupid way to measure how well a baby is doing. Check her nappies, alertness, milestones (and even that one is a bit dodgy) is she deydrated etc before deciding if breastmilk isn't enough.

I have NO idea how much weight my babies gained in the lsat few months. I only get the twins weighed every month or 2, and that's only because DH likes to know. I know that they look healthy, have heaps of wet nappies and are doing LOTS! DS is a lump and lays there, he can roll, but chooses not to most the time, but he is so happy! AND he must be about 1.5kg heavier than her, despite them both being fully breastfed. DD is rolling everywhere and trying to crawl, has been for a month or 2. They are 7months, and just so different in weight, but they are both perfect - she is just petite, unlike her chunky brother.