Is this normal?

[Rileysmuma]

Hi,

Just a little worried that what im feeling sint normal.

A bit of back ground info. On the 14/09/07 I lost my little girl, Layna Belle, she was born sleeping at 24 weeks due to pre-labour becuase of my incompatant cervix.
I really struggled after that as im sure you all can relate too.

About 4 months after DH and I started trying again we had a fair few misscarrages. We finally feel pregnant again late last year and had our beautiful little man Riley on the 30/07/09 with the help of my cervical stitch.

But know im always really upset its like im grieving all over again for what i missed out on. I feel horrible, like Riley is missing out every thing that he does thats new i feel so proud but there is always a little bit of sadness remembering that I could be watching Layna doing this.

I love Riley with all my heart but the greif im feeling is really getting me down.

Is this normal?

[Tam-I-Am]

Absolutely it is! It's such a bitter-sweet thing, watching children that are live after you've had a miscarriage or stillbirth - watching your bubba do all the things that your angel would have done if she'd been alive is so painful, at the same time as taking joy in your DS and all he will accomplish.

I think if YOU feel it's not normal, though, and that you'd like to move through and beyond the grief, there are things you can do - get a referral and mental health plan from your GP to see a psychologist, contact the Bonnie Babes Foundation to get a recommendation for a good counsellor in your area, get in contact with other parents for support and normalisation of what you're feeling.

:hugs:

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Absolutely it is! It's such a bitter-sweet thing, watching children that are live after you've had a miscarriage or stillbirth - watching your bubba do all the things that your angel would have done if she'd been alive is so painful, at the same time as taking joy in your DS and all he will accomplish.

I think if YOU feel it's not normal, though, and that you'd like to move through and beyond the grief, there are things you can do - get a referral and mental health plan from your GP to see a psychologist, contact the Bonnie Babes Foundation to get a recommendation for a good counsellor in your area, get in contact with other parents for support and normalisation of what you're feeling.

:hugs:

:iagree:

I am just so sorry to hear of your loss.
Tomorrow will be 2 years since we lost our little girl at 16 weeks.
We have also had a little boy since who is just a joy.
But he is also a reminder that I could have had a DAUGHTER who would be a year older than him and I look at him and wonder what she would have looked like..it's all so hard.
I think seeking some help may help you. I know I should have done alot sooner.
Stay strong
:hugs: