Is this feeling normal?

[Rileysmuma]

Hi,

Just a little worried that what im feeling sint normal.

A bit of back ground info. On the 14/09/07 I lost my little girl, Layna Belle, she was born sleeping at 24 weeks due to pre-labour becuase of my incompatant cervix.
I really struggled after that as im sure you all can relate too.

About 4 months after DH and I started trying again we had a fair few misscarrages. We finally feel pregnant again late last year and had our beautiful little man Riley on the 30/07/09 with the help of my cervical stitch.

But know im always really upset its like im grieving all over again for what i missed out on. I feel horrible like Riley is missing out every thing that he does thats new i feel so proud but there is always a little bit of sadness remember that I could be watching Layna doing this.

I love Riley with all my heart but the greif im feeling is really getting me down.

Is this normal?

[Gothel]

I am very sorry for your loss. I haven't been through what you have but have had my own problems. What I have learned is you can't help how you feel. And there is no point denying it or worrying is it valid or normal etc. I don't mean that to sound harsh, I'm just speaking from my own experiences.

Its no small thing, what you have been through. I don't know your history, so apologies if this is out of line, but have you received any counselling to help you deal with it?

[Rileysmuma]

Oh didnt realise i posted this thread twice :-s

Yeah i did recieve counsellingafter my second misscarage after i lost my daughter. But i stopped as i didnt feel like it was helping very much the phycoligist diditn do anything just talk about my past which has nothing to do with my losses.

I dont really know if i should go back as she didnt help the first time and im confused, i dont know wheather this is normal greif you go through with the next child or no. I spose im the only one that can answer that though.

[SomewhereOverTheRainbow]

Many many :hugs: to you.
I think it is absolutely normal. We lost our little boy, Ethan at 19wks last July and had our little girl in July this year. Ethan would be 1 by now and she is 4 months and it's so hard sometimes to look at her and wonder if they would have looked the same, wonder what his laugh would have sounded like...
So yeah I do think it's normal, and I do feel sad when I wonder about him and look at her, but at the same time I'm so grateful she is here and just want to appreciate her if that makes sense at all? I do still think about him all the time though.

[SomewhereOverTheRainbow]

OMG Rileysmuma, I only just re-read that and realised our bubbas have the same birthday! :eek: How awesome! I haven't met any babies with the same birthday! You should join us in the July birth group chat

http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=296564&page=28

we are a friendly bunch! :yes:
:thumbsup: