he signed the passport but....

[lochiebearsmum]

so FOB rang the law firm today as his 7 days was up to sign the form... my sister answered of course he didnt realise that it is my sister... and he told her he had only just received the forms and would have them to her soon, however court costs wouldnt have been a prob,... he also went on to ask her to pass a message on to me that i will be hearing from his solicitors in regards to visitation as i had taken his son away from him at 3 months old and he hadnt been able to make contact since... which is soo untrue... he met DS at 3 days old refused to hold him, then went out got drunk ran someone over, refused to pay child support and said if i chased him for it i might get hurt, at that i got an exemption from him paying child support as they werent the only threats he had made, i changed my number as well however if he really wanted to have been involved in his sons life he could have contacted centrelink etc.... i cant believe how manipulative he was, my sister said if she'd not known the background she would have felt very sorry for him! i am really hoping he wont go for visitation and is just using a scare tactict but you can never help but be concerned... i know DS would NOT handle being away from me, my mum cant even watch him without him being hysterical let alone FOB even if it is supervised its still without me!:crying: i cant help but think a fun trip to disney land has just opened a whole can of worms!:crying:

[firsttimepregnant]

hi there..

sorry to hear about your troubles, just wanted to give you a big hug. :hugs:

i can't imagine what it's like with someone lying like that when he never wanted anything to do with the child. I'm pregnant and the FOB doesnt' want a single thing to do with us, and I only hope this manipulative behaviour doesn't happen to me when I claim child support. It seems he is only doing it out of spite.

take care and let us know how it goes.

[MumNeedsCoffee]

:hugs:you couldn't have known he was going to do this. He sounds like a total nightmare and has made your life one.

[lochiebearsmum]

it just sucks that i can never cut him out... in another 5 years its going to happen again when he needs another passport and 5 years again after that! i worry what if something happens to me and he tries to get custody etc. I hate that he has so many rights and he is such a terrible person... note to self....never date a bad boy.... lochie is my life, i have been the one to do EVERYTHING and for him to then just think he can waltz back in makes me so angry and scares the hell out of me... i hope it really is just all talk and no action...

[oleander]

Omg I wouldnt have put him on the birth certificate.

[lochiebearsmum]

if you know who the father is you must put him on the certificate! i checked it all out through centrelink and was told i had to...

[AM]

Oh that sounds like a nightmare.

I hope he doesn't try to be too intrusive into your lives.

[SimplyMum]

Omg I wouldnt have put him on the birth certificate.

Me too!

I hope everything works out for you. :hugs:

[mummibare]

my mum cant even watch him without him being hysterical



that is not at all healthy.

[Bubmum]

I am glad it is signed..the rest is just threats hon. As in all the many threats he has made before. It's scary, but he won't do anything.

[lochiebearsmum]

mummibare i do not believe it is unhealthy for my child to be attached to me, he is 2 for goodness sake! i am taking steps to help with the situation however when you are a single mum and mostly doing it entirely alone this is what happens,,,, my son is my world and i have done what i feel is best for him... he is absolutly perfect and i get upset when people criticise unnecessarily....

[readytogo]

just a quick question if he demands visitation etc isnt he no longer exempt from child support??? I have a feeling even if he is under the care threshold once visitation orders are made he is then required to pay as he is involved in the 'raising' so to speak, so really its in his and your best interests if he accidentally finds a car and it jumps out in front of him :D

[lochiebearsmum]

hahahaha that would be ideal!!!

[Teley]

Oh look, another loser just showed up with a sob story:rolleyes:. Poor him, child got taken away from him hey. Bet he has some angry followers behind him though who believe his story. Stupid knobs.

[mumma2lilb]

U are living my nightmare! I am trying to get a passport for DD and its taking the exact same twists and turns :(.

First he refuses to sign. Then tells me he'll sign only if i do such-and-such. ARGH!!!

Why do these people have any rights!?!?! It shouldnt be automatic, it should be earned!!! GRR!!

[lochiebearsmum]

thats exactly right! i was very fortunate in the fact that my sisters law firm did a very stirn letter up and sent it to him cost free which would have normally cost me in excess of nearly $500... its crazy that they have so many rights but do absolutly nothing... i really feel each case should be assessed individually... i know it may cost more but i'd happily pay the extra to passport office than what i would go through this now.... my friends are saying i should contact him send photos and invite him to be apart of lochies life but i dont think i should have to do that,,,, he chose to walk away, he chose to threaten my life and my sons, he has chosen not to try to find me or contribute to lochies life before now, why should i now allow him the easy path of coming back in... i have done the hard yards of the first nearly 3 years, i gave birth without him while he was drunk at a strip club, i had to hold my son alone while he had rotavirus and needed a nasal gastric tube while he was racing cars, i was there when lochie needed grommets while he crashed his $20 000 race car why should he now just stroll back in... if he wants contact i think he should have to work for it!

[Bubmum]

Exactly....you shouldn't have to chase him up to see his own son.
I hope he does a dissppearing act again.
And having a clingy 2 year old is not unhealthy at all, so pants ot whoever thought that. All kids are very different. Don't worry....when I am upset when people criticise me for being too attentive to my daughter, my sister reminds me "You're a Mother now..People think they can criticise you, no matter what you do."

[mumma2lilb]

I cant actually contact FOB due to a RO i have against him. But have gone through his family and friends and very soon court! Its going to be a nightmare and he will similarly play the "im the victim" card.

He was physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. He hasnt seen DD in over 14months. He does not pay childsupport. I had to move and change numbers due to constant threats on mine and DDs safety. Yet he still has the "right" to define things in her life.

Im worried though that the court wont grant my passport application due to flight risk (although im only planning a holiday). I have another citizenship (the country i am visiting) and no permanent ties here (family is going with me on the holiday, i only rent, and i hav no "job" as i look after my daughter). Plus the worries about FOB trying to gain access to DD (who would FREAK at being left with a complete stranger!!!).

The system just isnt right sometimes :no:

(Sorry my venting taking over ur thread)

[lochiebearsmum]

thanks bubmum i think at the end of the day we as mums do what we think is best by our children and its not for others to criticise.... i think there are too many supernannys in the world!
mumma2lilb i really feel for you... it sounds like your ex was far worse than mine,,, i really hope the courts will rule in your favour... as you said they do nothing but inflict hurt and still have so many rights... hopefully they will see all documentation of the things he has done and realise he is not a positive influence in your childs life... it sucks that so many times men can pull the victim card and people get sucked in to believing them... :hugs: to you,,, keep us updated on how you go!

[SPC]

U are living my nightmare! I am trying to get a passport for DD and its taking the exact same twists and turns :(.

First he refuses to sign. Then tells me he'll sign only if i do such-and-such. ARGH!!!

Why do these people have any rights!?!?! It shouldnt be automatic, it should be earned!!! GRR!!

Yup, me too. I'm seeing the passport people tomorrow. I have a British passport for her, but they won't put a visa in it as she's Australian. And she can't have an Australian passport because FOB won't sign the form. So I've filled in form B9 and have an appointment to thrash it out with them. I can take her out, on her British passport, so the 'flight risk' think is silly. I just can't bring her back without causing havoc, even though she is Australian. They think they'll give me some sort of temporary thing. My uncle is dying and I'm going home no matter what and I think the fact that I've booked flights has put a fire under them; they seem willing to help. Apparently it's decided by a senior officer at the passport office after an interview, so court isn't necessarily the only option.

[lochiebearsmum]

oh im sorry to hear about your uncle...
good luck i hope it all works in your favour quickly,,,
i wonder what it is with these men refusing to sign... its like them gaining some sort of control back when the main people they are hurting is their own child, its crazy!:confused:

[SPC]

I suspect it's a deep seated refusal to say yes to anything. But one of these days one of these men is going to need a kidney...

[lochiebearsmum]

hahahahaha if i ever face him again i might just use that line!