Am i doing the right thing?

[Cupcake09]

I'm still with my bf but i'm not sure if i want to be. We haven't been getting along lately & we have some issues in our relationship that he's not willing to work on & I've had enough. He was meant to come over tonight & talk about everything but he must have forgotten or something. We're expecting our first baby in June next year (unplanned but still wanted) So we're a bit all over the place. I'm sure the baby would be fine without him i could manage, & he's stick around anyway for bub's sake so it would never come to no name on the birth certificate or anything. I just don't know if he's right for me anymore. I could stay with him & have a life i always wanted but have these issues & always be miserable or leave & do it the single parent way.

I really need someone outside of the situation to tell me what they think, all i'm getting from family is stay & all i'm getting from friends is leave. Help please.

[mum2bubba]

If you're not happy then you need to be honest with youself and with him. Don't deny yourself happiness. If you don't want to be with him anymore tell him so he can move on with his life (and you can too). It's only fair.

[MumNeedsCoffee]

If you're not happy then you need to be honest with youself and with him. Don't deny yourself happiness. If you don't want to be with him anymore tell him so he can move on with his life (and you can too). It's only fair.

:iagree: You both have to want to work on the things that would make you both happy in a relationship. If you're considering staying then seeing a counsellor together would be a good idea.

[milliegirl]

Cupcake,

You are both really young and have a lot going on. You need to learn to communicate effectively and will both benefit from relationship counseling. Don't just leave for a few little issues. Agree to work through things as a partnership and take little steps. Your partner is really really young at 18. Guys are extremely immature at that age and take ages to grow up. A serious relationship and a baby is a lot for him to cope with as an immature male, and he needs coaching to understand how he should be behaving etc. If he agrees to get counseling with you, that will be half the battle. The other half is putting in real effort to make it work as a family.

Good luck with it all.

Cheers
MG

[Booo]

Oh my gosh, same situation, just due in July. Me and my partner are just wayy to different people :( Im not sure if we'll work

[Mummy1988]

Your situation sounds exactly the same as mine, except mine happened 12 months ago!

I just had a baby this year in June (my due date was also the 17th! I ended up having him on the 23rd though)

I had the same feelings about my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend). We tried to stay together but eventually split in February last year when I was 5 months pregnant.

I don't regret ending the relationship. I was unhappy, he wasn't the person who I wanted to be with, or spend the rest of my life with. If I had stayed with him I think I would have been miserable and unhappy. You are young like me, you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm waiting to meet someone who I really love, who I can't live without. I didn't feel that way about my ex. I didn't enjoy his company, I didn't enjoy coming home from work to him. He was (and still is) a very nice person, and he's a great father to my son, but we just weren't right for each other.

Ultimately it's your decision - don't listen to what your friends and family are telling you - you need to decide.
My advice would be to look 10 years into the future - can you see yourself enjoying your life with him?

Also, once you have this baby you're going to be emotional, tired and physically exhausted, especially at your age. You should be with someone who you love and who you can really lean on for support. If there's not a lot of support or love in the relationship, you might find those first few months very hard.
I moved in with my parents when my ex and I split up, and it was great because they love me and support me, and I always felt comfortable and supported, which is so important in those early days.

My ex and I were on bad terms for a while after we split, but now we're really good friends. He's a great dad, and there's no tension between us anymore. His name is on my child's birth certificate, he pays child support, and visits my son twice a week. It's been the best outcome for both of us. I would have hated for my son to be brought up in a home where his parents don't love each other, or who fight all the time.

Good luck - and take your time making the decision. I'm sure you'll be a great Mum :)

[Issey]

Cupcake,

You are both really young and have a lot going on. You need to learn to communicate effectively and will both benefit from relationship counseling. Don't just leave for a few little issues. Agree to work through things as a partnership and take little steps. Your partner is really really young at 18. Guys are extremely immature at that age and take ages to grow up. A serious relationship and a baby is a lot for him to cope with as an immature male, and he needs coaching to understand how he should be behaving etc. If he agrees to get counseling with you, that will be half the battle. The other half is putting in real effort to make it work as a family.

Good luck with it all.

Cheers
MG

:iagree: this sounds like great advice.

[Cupcake09]

I think things may be starting to get better for myself & Nath, had a talk last night, didn't get all that far but we're not giving up.
Thanks for the great advice, all of you. (:

[AM]

If you are a reader, see if you can get hold of the book "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft, it gives a lot of insight into relationships.

All the best.

If you are not happy, even 'taking a break' to help you see things more clearly can help, even if you do end up ultimately work things out, and get back together.