so angry, but am i just being selfish

[TeresaNBrett]

Ive been so angry lately im going through ivf as i have pre mature ovarian faliure, my sister was nice enough to donate me eggs but while she was stimulating her ovaries to produce the eggs she was smoking Marijuana and ciggarettes it makes me so angry that we have put all this time and money into it and she turned around and said well the nurses should of been more clear........arhhh i just want to scream at her, we just put the last egg in and test came back negative im so angry i dont know what to do

[overitand36]

nice enough maybe

but stupid definitely

what a selfish.... people never get it unless it is them

[River Song]

it is a really tricky one...

firstly I am sorry your cycle didn't work...a lot of what you are feeling is prob anger and grief at the whole situation....so let it out (not at your sister though).

If you knew she was a smoker (of either/both) you should have sat down with her prior to the cycle and gone through your expectations....when you are not going through IVF and ttc you really have no idea....

Again, I am really sorry it did not work out..I hope you have a way to move forward...hugs

[TeresaNBrett]

Thanx guys for listening, i know i shouldn't be angry at her but she said she wasn't going to do it then i caught her doing it and then she just shrugged it off like it did'nt matter saying you should just be grateful im doing this for you........if your gonna be like that why say you want to donate to begin with......im so frustrated

[MumNeedsCoffee]

:hugs:I know what its like to have someone help you only to cause you more frustration and grief

She probably just doesnt understand how important it is not to smoke

I know you've already spent time and money but can she donate again, this time with understanding that if she does agree to donate she will need to not drink or it's wasted money

[~BEXTER~]

This is going to sound harsh and I really don't want to offend but if she has that attitude when you caught her smoking the ' your lucky I'm even doing this' then I think it is better this time didn't work what she said just made me feel like she would always be bringing it up and you would forever be in debt to her. I know you would be because of the gift she had given you but I feel like she would forever bring it up at every fight every time she didn't get her way?

I really don't mean to offend I know what she tried to do was a great thing and I can understand why you are upset with her smoking.

but maybe next time (if you are able to try again) you will find someone who is not smoking and won't always bring up what she did for you, does that make sense?

I'm really not trying to offend here and I am very sorry it didn't work I have no idea what you are going through.

[TeresaNBrett]

Keiaras mum, im not offended at all you're probably right, I want someone to donate to me because they want to not so they can hold it over me,
mumneedscoffee, she wont donate again she said why should i if the first lot aint working theres no point doing it again......i guess she just doesnt understand

[MumNeedsCoffee]

Keiaras mum, im not offended at all you're probably right, I want someone to donate to me because they want to not so they can hold it over me,
mumneedscoffee, she wont donate again she said why should i if the first lot aint working theres no point doing it again......i guess she just doesnt understand

TeresaNBrett - She's not your egg donor angel then. She's not selfless enough to sacrific smoking for a short period of time to give you the greatest gift anyone could imagine.
Wishing you all the luck in finding someone who is your egg donor angel.

[BabelFish]

Honestly? She really doesn't sound like a very nice person at all. I would definitely try someone else :hugs: