Trying too hard?

[Livy]

Does anyone sometimes feel like maybe they are trying too hard to fall pregnant? I am feeling a bit down today - we had to go to our friends dd's 4th birthday today and when we got there they happily announced that they were pregnant - she only had her iud out 3 weeks ago. I am happy for them but kind of annoyed because they are always bragging about how fertile they are and that we must be trying too hard! The only thing is I sometimes think if we don't try (temping etc) then it may take even longer. And to top this off my Mum has been saying that I should be preg by now and that she didn't even have to try to get pregnant. I don't know how much more of this we can take - and it's only been 6 months! :banghead:

[Hokey Pokey]

I think you can try to hard..... maybe it might be a good thing to stop taking temps etc and just go with the flow... even try it for a month...
It is hard when people around you fall pregnant :crying:

[chicken]

Livy - I know exactly how you feel. We're coming up to our 1st anniversary of TTC - a date I never thought we'd reach when we first set out on this journey. It makes me feel so inferior when some women fall pregnant without even trying, and I'm using every method under the sun to know when to BD at the right time, and even that doesn't work. And like you say, you'd like to throw all that out the window, and just be relaxed about it, but then I fear that would take even longer. You can't win. The only thing we can do is to stay positive.

[Hokey Pokey]

*~*~ Sending you both lots of baby dust!! *~*~

[Lilith]

Hi Livy

Well, I am so over people giving me advise on how to become pregnant that I've started telling them that we're not trying at the moment. I sometimes think that I'm way too obsessed but can't seem to tame my "interest" in trying to have a baby as yet. Although there are lots of stories about women relaxing and then getting pregnant, there's no scientific proof that it wasn't just their month to fall anyway. I found this article when googling:

8 Myths About Trying to Conceive
There are several misconceptions about conception. We break it down and tell you what's fact and what's fiction.
By Deborah Gaines

If you're trying to get pregnant, chances are you've been overwhelmed with tips and advice. Books, magazines, Web sites, and well-meaning friends and relatives are full of suggestions. But how do you separate the myths from the facts? Here are some common misconceptions about conception.

1. You'll have a better chance of conceiving if you relax and stop worrying about it. Even assuming this were possible, there's no clinical evidence that it makes a difference. While extreme stress can affect your ability to ovulate in very rare cases, "worrying about it" -- especially if that worry takes the form of monitoring ovulation and timing intercourse to coincide with your most fertile time -- can only help.

:fingerscrossed: for you, hope you'll have a bundle of joy of your own soon

[Kade's Mummy]

Livy - it will happen honey! I found when TTC my beautiful DS that we were trying too hard, my whole life changed a little too much and it consumed my thoughts 24/7. I even had a friend announce to me that she was pg and then apologise in the same breath 'cause she knew it would be hard for me to hear' - the poor gal! I should have been delighted for her, but I was just really envious :no:

Anyway, I worked out we actually concieved DS one night when - the only time while trying - I had quite a big night including quite a few drinks, and we actually did it for fun rather than trying to make a baby!! Not that it is smart to drink heaps or anything, it's just that it obviously relaxed us and meant we were more being ourselves - make sense?!!

So hang in there hon, it won't be long :hugs:

[shelle65]

Hey Livy, firstly :hugs: I'm sorry that you are feeling like this and that your friends are so insensitive - everyone is so different, and what works for some people doesn't work for others.

I thought I'd add my story - DP has been telling me for ages that I was too obssessive about TTC, that it would happen when I least expected it. So this month I outwardly said "It's not going to happen this month" but secretly I was thinking about it constantly, and analysing everything etc. Anyhoo we were lucky and it happened - DP is doing "I told you so" about how when I thought it wouldn't happen it did, but he doesn't know that I only said that to shut him up :rolleyes:

Moral of the story is - anyone who says it happened when they weren't trying is probably just making it up :laughing:

You keep doing what you feel is right for you and try not to worry about others' "advice". :hugs:

[Beeata]

Hey Livy,

Hang on there girl, stay positive, (even though I know it is hard) it will happen!

I had a look at your current and previous charts and your current temps are still high relative to your previous cycles....Did you do another HTP yet ?
:hugs:

[Livy]

Hi - I just wanted to thank you all so much for your advice. I think I had a particularly bad day yesterday. I think I will keep monitoring when I ovulate and just expect that we will have to wait our turn.
Olivia & Bella's Mum - thanks for the much needed baby dust!
Chicken & Lilith - I hope we all get out long awaited BFP's soon :hugs:
Kade's Mum - thanks for your advice and I hope ur right :fingerscrossed:
Shelle- I am so happy for you - best of luck for the next 9 months:) and I am pretty sure your theory is right!
Beeta - I have done a hpt not long ago because my temps are really high which has never happened before - but I got BFN and AF ....I think that is what has really confused me.

Anyway thanks again - you have all really helped ;)

[SilverStarfish]

:hugs: We were well into our 2nd year of TTC before I fell pregnant with our DD. I swear to god, I was going to smack the next person who said "You're trying to hard" or "Stop thinking about it" with something really heavy... like a coffee table over their head :thumbsup:

Stop thinking about it??? Hello??? Don't think about it, but at the same time make sure you are having sex at the right time so you are at least in the running. Sure, that sounds easy. Not.

And then there is always the story of a friend of a friend who "Stopped Trying" and instantly fell pregnant.

:banghead:

I was part of a TTC group on yahoo:

Hello List :)

Some of you might have seen this list already, and I'm sure most of
us have heard them all before from well meaning friends and
relatives. And even total strangers! What are some of the most
irritating advice that our listers have been given?

1. "It will happen quicker if you relax and stop worrying."

2. "You DO know it takes sex to make a baby, right?"

3. "If you want kids, take mine! Then they can drive you crazy."

4. "I'll lend you my husband -- he just looked at me and I got pregnant."

5. "Aren't you pregnant yet?"

6. "You must be doing it wrong."

7. "You're trying too hard."

8. "Maybe it wasn't meant to be."

9. "You can always adopt."

10. "Did I tell you I'm pregnant?"