Coping with everyday

[sexymama]

Hi there everyone!

I have some general questions regarding everyday routines. I have an almost 4 month old son. I find it difficult some days to get into the shower before midday as he has radical sleeping habits. Every day it changes. I am also concerned as he gets older and has less sleep how I am going to cope. When will I find time to shower then? I hardly do any housework in fear of waking him. The only thing I do is the laundry and cooking dinner. I can't even manage to get out of the house with him for a walk. I desperately need some advice or suggestions. :)

[MothersMilk]

I used to put DD in her bouncy chair and sit her in the bathroom while i showered. She was always happy to sit and watch me :yes:
If i waited until she slept i may never get around to the shower ;)

[Areca]

Please don't take this the wrong way but you sound like a typical first time mum (and I really don't mean that in a negative way at all).

Just bite the bullet and do it. Don't not do housework etc. because you are setting yourself up for years of tip toeing around your DS.

As for having a shower, strap him in to a swing or a bouncy chair when he is awake and off you go. If he's asleep and wakes up he will survive the 5 minutes it takes you to finish your shower and go get him.

Once they are mobile (crawling) then that's where you either get up and shower before they wake for the day, pop them in their cot with some toys to play with or you use a jolly jumper and hang it where you can see it from the bathroom.

I used to be so terrified to do anything with DD1 in fear of waking her...and I worried about putting her in the pram and taking her for a walk but just bite the bullet and start doing it. You can put some form of white noise in his room so when he's asleep he isn't being woken by noises if you're concerned but get out there and enjoy your DS! Just feed him, make sure he has a clean nappy and go. The more you do it the more confident you will get.

I think every first time parent should have the experience of a second + time parent because that first baby would be so much more enjoyable!

[Lily of the Nile]

My sister used to have the same problem, but I never experienced it with ds. Once he's fed, changed and happy playing with his toys on his play mat or chair I take a quick shower and when I hear him stirring he's really ok till I finish. And for cleaning I can vacumm while he's asleep and I don't make less noise, he seems to sleep through anything. I don't know why, we used to have him sleep in his bassinet wherever we were so in the lounge watching tv etc. and he must have got used to it.
Now he's learnt to roll and move about, so I strap him in his chair and watch him on the play mat and I have an ensuite, so I have him in my room now or wait till he's sleeping while I shower or do things I need to leave him alone for. He doesn't sleep much either maybe 20 min half an hour at a time and I take advantage of that.
And going out, I do the same, as soon as he's fed and changed off we go. Even when he's not fed I still go, he won't get grizzly, he's too occupied. I even use a sling sometimes and he loooves that, he loves looking around and watching the commotion.
I don't really have the solution, I guess I just do it and don't worry to much on how he'll react and he's ok. We took him out from the get go, taking him to dinner and shopping as a newborn and he'd sleep, so it made me more confident. I fear the day he'll start walking and crawling and I'm running after him all day but like now as I'm typing he's right next to me in his chair happily playing :D

[kar]

I could never leave DS alone while I showered etc, tried, unsuccesful, he would sit in his chair or whatever and scream at me until I got out. Not relaxing! But the good news is that DS sleeps way way more now than he did as a newborn. Improved and became a bit more predictable at around 6 mths

Before he was 3 mths old I often just didn't have a shower until DH got home, and pretty much nothing got done around the house except for general tidying. Once I got to the stage where he would sleep not in my arms I would wait for him to sleep and then basically run around like a mad woman for 40 mins and do as much as possible in that time.

Once he could sit in a rocker things got better - he liked to sit in the kitchen or backyard with me while I chopped veg, did washing etc. Vacuuming etc gets done on the w.end when there is two of us. He is a light sleeper and wakes very easily. Oh, and I would also wear him in a BB when he was very little and an ergo from about 3 mths and get stuff done with him in there.

As for going out, do you meant to shops in pram type going out, or actually going out? Sorry to say it but actually going to except to friend's houses who understood didn't really happen also until around 6 mths. And with shops etc I would just try and have everything packed and ready to go so I could feed him then straight into the pram and head out. He would still end up having a melt down about 60% of the time. Now he absolutely loves going out in his pram.

Hang in there, it does get easier and I think lots of it is to do with your baby's personality. Some are content to be and some need mama all the time. Some are relaxed and some are high maintenance.

My boy who needed me constantly is now at 9 mths actually very independent. This morning he played with his toys and crawled around for 45 mins while I was in the kitchen doing some meat and veg for him.

[updaduff]

every body has given good advice already.
just wanted to add, you sound exactly like me 2 mths ago. lol. DH used to come home and i swear he thought i never moved, because id still be sitting there in what ever i slept in breastfeeding the bub still lol

but as people have already suggested, bouncers are great. I find getting up and showering as soon as DS has woken up and popping him in his bouncer with some toys keeps him happy for the 10 minutes or so i need to shower and dress etc. now that he's older, i put a rug and toys down for him and he plays happily. but if i dont do it straight away after wake up, then i never get around to it :)

[MumNeedsCoffee]

Please don't take this the wrong way but you sound like a typical first time mum (and I really don't mean that in a negative way at all).

Just bite the bullet and do it. Don't not do housework etc. because you are setting yourself up for years of tip toeing around your DS.

As for having a shower, strap him in to a swing or a bouncy chair when he is awake and off you go. If he's asleep and wakes up he will survive the 5 minutes it takes you to finish your shower and go get him.

Once they are mobile (crawling) then that's where you either get up and shower before they wake for the day, pop them in their cot with some toys to play with or you use a jolly jumper and hang it where you can see it from the bathroom.

I used to be so terrified to do anything with DD1 in fear of waking her...and I worried about putting her in the pram and taking her for a walk but just bite the bullet and start doing it. You can put some form of white noise in his room so when he's asleep he isn't being woken by noises if you're concerned but get out there and enjoy your DS! Just feed him, make sure he has a clean nappy and go. The more you do it the more confident you will get.

I think every first time parent should have the experience of a second + time parent because that first baby would be so much more enjoyable!

:iagree:I haven't been able to do things as simpler as having a shower every day because I let my life revolve around DD. I was showering every 4 days or so and not getting much done.
I had the same worries too.
You can still take the best care of your baby and attend to their needs while looking after yourself too.
If you tell yourself it is too hard, it will be.
I just bring DD with me and get the housework done, she might be crying at my feet, or in a bouncer. And I'll try and keep her entertained but in the end if I don't do that then we don't have any clean bottles, I go without dinner, etc.
And if she wakes while I'm having a shower, well I have to leave her for a few minutes while I finish my shower. It's only 5 minutes usually. But I let excuses stop me before. Like, the sound of the shower normally wakes her up.

Look after yourself too!

[Jaspat24]

I think the other posters have all made good points. I used to be the same and my good friend used to stop by 2-3 mornings a week and i'd have a long, leisurely shower!
As for the shower aspect, i used the pram or a bouncer when DS was little and took him in the bathroom with me and sang songs etc. Now i just shower as soon as he's gone down for his first sleep. I know i'm guaranteed at least half an hour of 'me' time then. As for the housework, i can't vacuum when DS is asleep cos it wakes him, so i vacuum when he's awake. I put him on a rug with his toys or in his jumperoo or in his swing (strapped in) and sometimes i have to stop and start but it gets done. I do the noisy stuff when he's awake and the quiet stuff when he's asleep. I have had to change the order in which i clean the house and i can almost never get it all done in one day so i just prioritise (ie toilet and floors when expecting visitors).
Also i use enjo and i've found that if i do manage to clean the whole house in one go, it now takes 2 1/2 hours instead of 4.
HTH

[Wookie1]

I put DS in his rocker and carry him into the bathroom so I can shower, he likes the bright lights and I usually give him a favourite toy to hold.

Hang in there! :)

[TripleTime]

Please don't take this the wrong way but you sound like a typical first time mum (and I really don't mean that in a negative way at all).

Just bite the bullet and do it. Don't not do housework etc. because you are setting yourself up for years of tip toeing around your DS.

As for having a shower, strap him in to a swing or a bouncy chair when he is awake and off you go. If he's asleep and wakes up he will survive the 5 minutes it takes you to finish your shower and go get him.

Once they are mobile (crawling) then that's where you either get up and shower before they wake for the day, pop them in their cot with some toys to play with or you use a jolly jumper and hang it where you can see it from the bathroom.

I used to be so terrified to do anything with DD1 in fear of waking her...and I worried about putting her in the pram and taking her for a walk but just bite the bullet and start doing it. You can put some form of white noise in his room so when he's asleep he isn't being woken by noises if you're concerned but get out there and enjoy your DS! Just feed him, make sure he has a clean nappy and go. The more you do it the more confident you will get.

I think every first time parent should have the experience of a second + time parent because that first baby would be so much more enjoyable!


:iagree:

Just bit the bullet & do it!

Now my 3 are mobile i get at 5am with DF & have a shower before they wake up.

While they're sleeping through the day, i crash, bang & make as much noise as possible. They sleep through it all.

[MummaLove]

Dear sexymama

I was just the same with my first and come to think of it, fairly similar with my 2nd, she's now 5 months and couldn't be easier. Her feeds have stretched out and we are in a general routine give or take, most days.

DON'T worry about what's going to happen later, as they get older, they sleep even better AND longer so it will get easier not harder!

Like alot of other posters have said, take your bebe with you into the bathroom. Give him a feed first and have a shower straight after when his tummy is nice and full and he's had a bit of cuddle time too. Pop him in a bouncer and sing and dance for him while you shower! Worked for mine, and if he does start to cry you'll be finished within seconds so it won't hurt him.

As for walks in the pram, same thing. Make sure he's fed, changed and happy then stick him in that pram and GET OUT of the house! Every now and then my 5 month old little girl has a little whinge when put in the pram, but that's only usually because I've left it too late and she's really tired. 99% of the time she falls asleep silently and loves being in the pram.

Housework - who wants to do that anyway!?! Ha ha, I wish - but yes it's got to be done doesn't it!? Do you have a sling or carrier? I had to use it alot with my first and she used to fall asleep with the vaccuum blasting away so I got the housework done and she didn't mind the noise. With all babies, it's just about what they're used to. If you don't make noise, they will wake easily. If you do, they'll mostly sleep through anything. I don't crash and bang and try to generally keep quiet, but things like the TV, music or me cooking in the kitchen are a constant around here so to me, that's just everday living noise and shouldn't be a problem.

Hang in there, things get easier as they get older and these days will be a distant memory. Enjoy your baby!

[parentwellbeing]

Babies can be all consuming - and our lives can revolve around their routines and needs. But maybe you can add a few of your needs into the routine. For example, after breakfast baby sits in the bouncer while I have a shower. After lunch we go for a walk past the cafe and pick up a coffee. Your baby needs a well mum. So try one new thing and see how it goes! Parent Wellbeing.