Crazy Emotions

[Gloominous]

Hi, I was just wondering when the emotions associated with BF settle down?
I am currently feeding 5 mnth old (2 1/2-3 hrly), and just starting solids but still feel like crying:( all the time. Will these emotions stay till I finish BF or do they go away in time? I wasnt able to BF DD #1 so this is new territory for me, any advice would be great thanks

[Mischief]

I hope they do....my son is 3 months old, and I'm seriously starting to feel like i need to put him on formula for my own emotional and physical health.

I'm increadibly run down, and my emotions are totally shot. I'm feeling so depressed.

I have been expressing because I cant handel the way BF makes me feel....but I feel like I am failing my son if I stop expressing too.

:hugs: Hugs to you, you are doing a fantastic job. BF isnt as easy as I always thought it was....to last as long as you have, thats wonderful!!

[Leez]

Mischief & Altmum

I'm totally feeling for you and big hugs to you both. :hugs: Breastfeeding for me was a complete disaster from the get go and I gutted it out expressing for 2 months. A week ago I put DD on formula full time.

It sounds like for both of you that b/f is taking a huge toll on you. First of all you need to take care of yourselves, as the very best thing you can give a child is a mum who has a sense of wellbeing, and is coping. I don't have any advice, but asking yourselves these questions might paint a picture for you that could point you in the right direction:

What are your specific beliefs about b/fing? eg. is it something that is not negotiable and anything less is 'failure', or, its best if you can, but if you can't (or its not working out), well, that's just the way it is. Its important to be clear on what your beliefs are in order to figure out what the best plan of action for you is.
Are your beliefs supporting you or making it harder for you? Are they very black and white? Do they need reviewing?
What messages (if any) did you receive about b/fing as a child/young person? Do those messages affect you now?
Has it been difficult to make the emotional transition from viewing your breasts as sexual objects to their current role?
How is it making you feel having to 'share' your body?
Is your general lifestyle supporting b/fing or is it possibly sabotaging it?
Are there any changes you could make to your lifestyle/support network that would make it easier?
Have there been days when its been easier/less emotionally and physically taxing than others? If so, what was different about those days, and how could you get more of that?
Do you have a sense of anything you need that would make it easier emotionally and/or physically?
What would be the impact on you stopping b/fing altogether and moving to f/fing? Physically and emotionally?

Hopefully some of these questions inspire food for thought. I would suggest talking to an LC or your Doctor but I'm guessing that you've already thought of that at some stage.

Again, hugs to you both and I hope the best thing happens for both you and your bubs.

Take care,

Lisa

[FinnsMama]

Hi altmum,

Sounds like you've had a tough 5 months, big hugs to you :hugs:

Are you sure it's bf making you feel like this? Could it just be motherhood in general? It must be especially hard with 2 LO's to look after, I struggle enough with just the one (4 1/2 mth old DS)!! Perhaps it would help to have a talk to someone about how you're feeling - your GP, a counsellor or psychologist? Even though it's one of the toughest jobs ever, motherhood is still something that should be enjoyed. If you feel like crying all the time then that's not right, you deserve to feel happy at this time in your life. A visit to the GP might be good just to rule out any medical causes to how you're feeling, such as iron deficiency.

Is there anything you can do to make things a bit easier on yourself, such as a couple of hours a week someone else can mind the kids so you can have some time to yourself? You could go shopping, grab a bite to eat with a friend, get a massage, or just luxuriate in the bath eating chocolate :D.

The other thing I'd suggest is try giving an Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor a call, here's a link to the numbers for each state:
http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/products/counselling.asp#phone
They're really nice to talk to, and should give you plenty of advice and support. I'm sure you're not the first mum to feel like this.

I really hope things pick up for you soon. Sending love your way xo

[Elijahsmama]

I too felt like that up untill about 4 months when i stopped demand feeding DS and started him on routine feeding. Although this might not be for you, it helped me alot. At 4 mths he was having 5/6 feeds, 6 mths 3/4 feeds, 7mths 3 feeds, 9mths 2 feeds. I didnt think i would be able to stick it out to 12mths as i wanted but now that he only feeds morn and night and is 11mths im extending 'my plan' to 18mths/2yrs.
Goodluck and i know that it does get easier as time goes on as you dont have to feed ALL THE TIME!! or atleast feel like you are.

[Gloominous]

Thanks for the replies guys they have given me some comfort & something to think about. I am still deciding what to do re: BF or FF but at least I know i'm not the only one
Ta.

[kadownie]

I'm sorry that you are feeling so worn out- being a Mother is demanding work. I hope you are able to find some time to spoil yourself.

Are there other things that are going on at the moment that might be contributing to feeling the way you do? Are things ok with your partner? Did you have a traumatic birth? Are you getting enough sleep? I only ask as about 3 months into the twins little lives I crashed- and it was for the reasons I mentioned-

Definatley get in contact with the ABA- they will be able to offer you some practical solutions and give you great info about breastfeeding. Maybe think about attending one of their meetings so you can get to know other breastfeeding mothers.

Hope you have a restful day today! Forget about the house etc- just lie around and sleep when bubby does- it's what I do when I feel like you describe- and it usually helps

[Sheer Bliss]

DD is now 16months & I don't think my emotions have gone back to normal at all since having her. She was b/fed for 11months, and I didn't really notice a great deal of difference when the feeding stopped. I really think that since becoming a mum I think about things alot more (too much! lol) and it is easier to get more emotional about things (even silly things like the cute add on TV, or the sad song). I think it was around the 4-5month mark that I felt really down as DD was still colicy & it was really hard. I felt like she was old enough that I should be able to handle anything - but it is still hard, and when i recognised that, I stopped being so hard on myself & things got better.

Have a talk to someone at the ABA to make sure your feelings are related to b/feeding, and as others have suggested, have a few relaxing lazy days - stay in your PJ's all day! Talking it out can help you can be confident that you have made the right choice, whatever you do!