anyone wanna trade sils?

[bumMum]

ok im not a man eater.

the trouble is my sil seems to think I am. she's totally new to our family and a bit out of place I guess. i tried really hard to like her.. but I just can't.

a short list of what has done on in the past 3 months is that she has BANNED my BIL her partner from talking to me or responding to text messages or facebook posts from me.. and also my little BIl's new girlfriend who is only 14.. who is apparently also a threat. she has said numerous times to family members how I think I'm "sooo good" cos I am thin...??? and I don't think that.. and that "she used to be like that too, just wait a few years" bla bla... I'm not sure why she is competing with me because I have never implied I want her partner. ever. he has been a friend of mine since we were 14 years old so why can't I talk to him??
she gets really mad at me if I bring up funny stories from when we were younger.

she has also criticized me as a mum several times. my MIL babysits about 2 times a week, but she often asks to and we are always doing things for each other. my MIL still has young kids herself and I often run them around and let them stay the night etc. but SIL said to me "when I have kids, I won't be dumping them on mum every night.." which I don't do! I asked mum (mil) about it and she said she doesn't care what anyone thinks and she wouldn't help out if she didn't want to. ... in our families, it wouldn't be odd to leave your kids with the grandparents all week so you could work or study.. that is quite normal.. but she just doesn't get it.

SIL also thinks i'm the worst when I go out sometimes.. I go out about once a month if I'm lucky, but I work all the time and I am a mum the rest of the time and my partner has no issues with it.. so why can't I have fun once in a while? when I was getting dressed to go out she said "BIL would kill me if I went out dressed like that..".. I thought I looked nice but started to freak out about it and changed.

she absolutely hates me. I constantly feel the tension...
so the question is.. say something? or bite my tongue? I was thinking of asking why she and BIL have deleted me from facebook??

[Benji]

:hugs: urgh jealousy is horrible (and, sorry, I love my future SILs so no trade).

I'm usually a "be the bigger person" in situations like this. Often to my own detriment. I actually cop a lot at work for being the only young, thin female.

So she doesn't actually have kids? Stuff her, I'd ignore her and be nice as pie :D nothing will annoy her more. I'm sure you're nice as pie anyway, you seem like a very honest, kind person here!

[MumNeedsCoffee]

Gee sounds like she has major insecurity issues and is picking on you because she's jealous.

I wouldn't take anything she has to say to heart, she has the issues not you.

And don't you just love how people without children are experts and have it totally planned out how they will not be doing things that other mums do.

I don't think there would be any point in saying anything to her, sounds like she will just make a huge issue out of that and find further way to ban you from her life

I agree with PP, stuff her and just be nice as pie, that will probably just annoy her further but she can't complain about the way you treat her :)

[ElleAment]

Gee sounds like she has major insecurity issues and is picking on you because she's jealous.

I wouldn't take anything she has to say to heart, she has the issues not you.

And don't you just love how people without children are experts and have it totally planned out how they will not be doing things that other mums do.

I don't think there would be any point in saying anything to her, sounds like she will just make a huge issue out of that and find further way to ban you from her life

I agree with PP, stuff her and just be nice as pie, that will probably just annoy her further but she can't complain about the way you treat her :)

:iagree:

[mum2bubba]

I agree that she's jealous and has some insecurity issues. What would happen if you confronted her about this? It doesn't have to be in a nasty way but just ask her what her problem is and why doesn't she like you or whatever? Anyway, its her with the issue not you. Just keep living your life and be happy and try not to worry about her.

[kimba80]

I'll see your jealous SIL and raise you a evil MIL !!!!

Unfortunately I have both in my IL family .... have no time for either of them, but begrudgingly put up with them for hubbies sake.

Totally know how you feel:hugs::hugs::hugs:

The world would be WAY easier with out the IL's!!!!

[our little treasures]

I'll see your jealous SIL and raise you a evil MIL !!!!

Unfortunately I have both in my IL family .... have no time for either of them, but begrudgingly put up with them for hubbies sake.

Totally know how you feel:hugs::hugs::hugs:

The world would be WAY easier with out the IL's!!!!

lol

[bumMum]

hahaha kimba...

yes, I thought this is one of those things where you have to "turn the other cheek".. I just wanted to know what others think. I guess it will drive her mad if i'm nice to her. then she will go around telling everyone im fakely nice though lol! but who cares? I don't wanna be the crazy family member who runs around starting fights and making things difficult. so I will leave it be.. anyway, I don't want her as a friend on facebook!!!!
:hugs: guys

[MumNeedsCoffee]

hahaha kimba...

yes, I thought this is one of those things where you have to "turn the other cheek".. I just wanted to know what others think. I guess it will drive her mad if i'm nice to her. then she will go around telling everyone im fakely nice though lol! but who cares? I don't wanna be the crazy family member who runs around starting fights and making things difficult. so I will leave it be.. anyway, I don't want her as a friend on facebook!!!!
:hugs: guys

You definitely don't want her as a friend on Facebook! She would probably just analyse any facebook activity you do and twist it into gossip!

[mummydreamer]

You definitely don't want her as a friend on Facebook! She would probably just analyse any facebook activity you do and twist it into gossip!

oh my gosh that was exactly what i was going to say!! :laughing::laughing: i would not want her looking at my facebook page, she sounds like she has major issues!

i agree with the others, just try and ignore her and be as nice as you can. she's the one with the issues, not you. though really, why do 99.9999999% of in laws have to have issues?? its just stupid!

i love most of my SIL's (i have 4!) i don't have major issues with them. one though that im actually the closest with, she has a son the same age as my daughter and also a baby son, she always comments on how im 'spoilt' coz my parents have the kids overnight fairly often. (as in, once a month on a weekend) and it just annoys me that she thinks im spoilt, when really just coz her parents are sh!tty grandparents and her hubby's parents are in another state, don't make me feel bad! it just irritates me, i don't think its fair.

anyhoo, thats my little rant to go along with yours LOL.

[RolzBubz]

sounds like she is jealous....if your mil doesnt have any prob with here watching your kids cos you do things for her kids then i wouldnt pay to much attention to the sil,it sounds like she doesnt have kids...so if she thinks she is going to be a super mum and not want some alone time or ever have the mil babysit then she is dreaming...she has her own time at the moment (not that i know how it is looking after kids 24/7 of my own) but have in the past had ex partners kids every weekend and even that drove me nuts,with work and kids on the weekend there wasnt much alone time.
Her time will come or if your lucky your bil might see her true colours and give her the flick..

[bumMum]

rolzbubs don't give me false hope hahahaha

yes I think I'm just gonna let her get over it. perhaps she will see how important it is to have support when she has a baby and feel stupid for all the things she said. i hope so.