What would be classed as AP parenting....

[V8]

Hi All, i am just after some more info on Attachment parenting. How do you class someone as being an AP parent???

I find a few things that i do are not 'mainstream' ie. DS is not vaccinated (made an informed decision) He is breastfed, but also gets formula, he co-sleeps (sometimes) and sometimes eats food that i make or other times eats tinned food. So, i would say i am 50/50 on this.

What do others do that is considered AP parenting??

Thanks :)

[ziggie]

I'll watch this thread with interest, coz I have no idea what AP is :laughing:

[KarniF00l]

:laughing: same.

[Elfin]

Attachment Parenting is a term coined by Dr William Sears, it is based on instinctual parenting and responding to the needs of your baby. It is based on creating a bond between mother and baby. Here is a link to his website that you might find useful http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130300.asp

I think most of us use elements of AP without realising it. HOpe that link helps:)

[the_queen]

Here's another good site

http://www.parentingweb.com/ap/ap_index.htm

:thumbsup:

[ziggie]

Thanks Elfin, now I know :D

[Pixie]

Well I really don't know what it is either but I like to think I am an AP mummy this is me

I co-sleep most nights she's right in bed with the two of us I cradle hold her and when she wants a feed my boob is right there for her to latch on and off as she pleases.

I am a sling wearing mummy I rather she be in the sling feeling tight snuggly and hearing my heartbeat and smelling my skin than in her pram, I talk to her and she stares at me so much it's beyond rude :D

I don't let her cry at all I hear her I pick her up, I reassure her etc

I exclusively breastfeed

hmm that's it not sure if that's AP exactly though

[KarniF00l]

okay now my question...

Can you be a semi-AP ? or wouldn't that be classified as AP at all ?

ie. not breastfeeding, sometimes co-sleeping and all for baby wearing.

[kymmy]

I co-sleep, breastfeed and try to keep it all natural but don't really class myself AP or not.
I just trust my instincts and that is the way I parent.

[Pixie]

I think you can be a part timer lol

[KarniF00l]

hmm.. i was actually thinking why in the hell is it labeled :confused: Don't you just parent the way you know best or feel most comfortable with.

[Elfin]

Karni I think there really is a spectrum with AP. Some people are hardcore, some are not, some only do certain elements of AP and not others. I think you are right at the end of the day forget about labels and philosophy and just do what is best for your baby and family.

[Pixie]

Totally right Elfin it ticks me off when people give me that nod of ohhhhh when you say we co-sleep like you just said I feed her mars bars of a night time. We should all respect each others choices in parenting as we are all doing what we feel is right within our families!

[kymmy]

hmm.. i was actually thinking why in the hell is it labeled :confused: Don't you just parent the way you know best or feel most comfortable with.

I think this too.
I don't go out of my way to say I am AP as I have no idea what that means at the end of the day.
I say I trust my instincts.

[KarniF00l]

No disrespect to those hardcore AP's but when it comes to being 'labeled' i wouldn't know what i am.. all i know is that i'm doing the best that i can and it's working for me and my children and that's all that counts.

If what i said sounded rude that wasnt my intension at all.. in fact i wish hardcore AP's the best of luck. :thumbsup:

[Sarie]

hmm.. i was actually thinking why in the hell is it labeled :confused: Don't you just parent the way you know best or feel most comfortable with.
Good point! Though I think everything has to be labeled these days. Makes everything very PC:rolleyes:

[EskimoMumma]

IMO everyones different styles of parenting is Attachment parenting. I dont think i like doctors and so forth telling me the best way to raise my child. I love their tips and advice but honestly, we all go by instinct anyway, with a little help from science. (the doctor, midwife person..)

[the_queen]

I guess AP'ers themselves label it as such, more to make the distinction of what we don't do. It's attachment parenting, not detachment parenting. There's no CC, no CIO, no FF (ideally), no putting bubby in a pusher away from mumma, no putting bubby in a cot away from me. The "label" is making the point that attachment is our goal.

[Goosie22]

AP could also stand for "aware parenting" in the sense that most people who identify with the AP label have made deliberate choices with respect to their childs best interest as their main motivation. Resisting outside presure from CHN/Obs/Midwives/Relatives and Society who try to influence decisions with outdated information or personal beliefs with no founding in fact.

So as The Queen said re CIO/CC/FF, Instead fostering close bonds with family, healthy eating, a love of nature and learning.

[evesmum]

I completely agree with 'the queen' I think that AP labelling is more about excluding certain beliefs about parenting. While i respect different parenting styles (even those who dont support or follow AP style) I think that there are certain stronlgy held beliefs that would be classed as AP.

While some people would breastfeed or co sleep or use slings it wouldnt necessarily classify them as Attachment parents; or else almost all of society would be classed as AP. While i think it is hard to try and break down the label into every exact AP belief I believe that if you follow the majority of the below (plus any others that I have forgotten) then you would probably be AP.

-co sleeping
-breastfeeding baby (and into toddlerhood)
-informed vaccination choices
-gentle discipline
-No controlled crying
-alternative eating (vegan, vegetarian, organic, junk food/preservative free)
-Natural birthing (drug free, vaginal, water, lotus)
-alternative medical options (Naturopathy, Homeopathy)

I think that the supposed 'hardcore' AP'ers are actually the true types of AP while those who practise only a few of the above arent necessarily AP, they just happen to make a few similar choices.

Like I said before I completely respect other parenting styles because it is important to do what you think is best for your baby and it doesnt matter if you fit into mainstream or AP but I also dont think that following your instincts and trying your best is the only thing that classifies an AP'er, because Im pretty sure that we all try our best as parents. It is more about purposefully moving away from mainstream ideas about parenting and finding other people who believe strongly and value the purpose of AP. It can become an entire lifestyle philosphy.

I know myself that having attended a fair few mothers groups and just general social interaction I felt that the beliefs I had towards prenting and even lifestyle were very different (AP) to a lot of people and so communicating with other 'hardcore' AP'ers is very important to me.

This is entirely my own opinion and I sincerely wouldnt want to offend anyone and I am open to anyone's opinions and discussion.

P.S. Smurfette asked a similar question a few weeks ago a few threads down whith answers that may clarify.

Anyway enough :ecomcity::ecomcity:

[V8]

Thanks for the clarification, i really am glad you took the time to answer my question i think it's great to gain some knowledge on other parenting styles. I am glad that there are other people similar to myself, i do have different views on particular things that some find weird, (people cannot believe my DS has never had panadol) I don't know why he would need it.... I believe in more natural ways of healing etc rather than going off to the doctors for antibiotics etc etc. So in that respect i am not 'mainstream' but it's good to know others that are making similar choices so i don't feel so different. :D

[daffodil]

I wholeheartedly agree with all the principles of Attachment Parenting but find that only some of them work for me in practice, I use my own judgement based on what makes me and bub work together best...

For example, sleeping: I had DS in a bassinette right next to our bed (so I could reach out and touch him from my bed) but not sleeping in with us, this would be considered co-sleeping by some and not by others. After 12 weeks I put DS in his own cot just across the hallway, where I can hear every little peep he makes. He seems very content to sleep there by himself. During the day we often have an afternoon nap together, or I will cuddle him on the couch for an hour or two. I would never do CC on him.

Baby-wearing: As he is only just four months and nearly 8kg I find it physically difficult to carry him around all the time! I have him in my arms as often as is practicable, and the rest of the time have him in the pram facing me so I can talk to him as we walk, or playing on the floor near me or in his rocker where he can see me. He seems happy this way and doesn't seem to mind some 'alone time' now and then. He is a very wriggly baby too and doesn't seem to always want to be held.

Breast-feeding: Definately 100% demand fed all the way - best for both of us.

I definately immunise as I think it is the socially responsible thing to do as well as being safest for bubs, the benefits outweigh the risks in my opinion (don't think immunisation is generally classified as AP or not though)...

I guess you could say I'm a part-timer!
Here is the international AP site: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/