Night feeding horror - why does DS wake every hour?

[Mrs Nietzsche]

I am not sure where to put this, maybe should be in sleeping/settling?

Anyway..

I night weaned DS at 12 months as he was wanting to feed hourly through the night, and I was pregnant, it was agony, and I was in fear of what would happen when the new baby came if he was still doing that.

ANyway it all went fairly smoothly.

There have been instances where I have fed him in the night, and then the next night he wants 3 feeds etc.. ie if I let him feed even once he slips back into a constantly wanting to feed mode.

The thing is I am not sure if this is what is going on, or it is actually that something is bothering him, and that is what is causing the pattern.

He has always been an appalling sleeper. He actually slept through the night (til 4.30am anyway) for about 2 weeks a few weeks ago and I thought it was all over, however for the past week he has been going downhill again, last night woke hourly and seems to be on track to do the same tonight.

He often screams for 30-40 mins, DH gets up to him or I cuddle him - he is never left to cry (but first I try leaving him for a min, as he often just does 10-20 secs of crying and back to sleep etc, I give him a chance to settle himself first).

The thing is if I give him boob it will settle him pretty instantly.

Anyway my quandary is - should I feed him during the night or will it be going backwards?

WHy the hell is he doing this anyway? He is perfectly and utterly happy during the day. He just got a molar a couple of weeks ago and I can't feel anything new coming (though there easily could be).

I am scared to just let him set the pace and feed on demand through the night in case he goes back to wanting to feed for half an hour every hour through the night again permanently and I have to try and night wean him again.

Excuse gigantic essay but this is no joke. He wakes at 4.30am without fail every morning so a night of hourly feeds is hideous.

[MsMummy]

Is he cute? If so, list him on ebay?:D

I don't know, Maire. I really feel for you.

I just feed my son to keep him quiet at night, but he doesn't wake up that frequently and I don't have a newborn. nothing else seems to settle him back to sleep at night.

Oh, actually, the other night I went out and had been drinking (first time in ages), so I couldn't feed him overnight. He slept between my partner and the bed rail. We left a small bottle of EBM by the bed, and my partner gave him that.

I know it's not a long-term solution, but you could share the load.

is there an AP version of sleep school, or something?

He doesn't get up for the day at 4.30am, does he? how awful.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Yes MsMummy. Up for the day at 4.30. So now we all have to go to bed at 8pm. I am recklessly still up now, throwing caution to the winds, as my celebration of finishing an essay today (how boring my life has become).

He has no interest in a bottle, sippy cup, water, nothing. DH will get up for him, but he prob got up every hour last night until I took over around 3am.. even when he goes to sleep fairly quickly its the constant being jolted awake, how long will he cry for this time, should i get up now or wait, etc etc.

Maybe it's the heat?

I don't know whether something is wrong with him, but he is so completely happy during the day that it doesn't seem to make sense.

Bizarrely enough, the newborn already sleeps through the night.... I always thought it was a myth but apparently babies really can do that.

[3'llhavetodo]

At 12mths he shouldn't need to be fed of a night time at all. If I were you I'd stop the night feeds or substitute them with water for a little while then cut them out too. It sounds like he could just want the comfort. It'll be painful for a little while but short term pain for long term comfort.

[JabberJaw]

I have no advice but my 20 month old, who is not yet weaned, is exactly the same, still wakes often (3+ times) each night BUT it is slowly getting better, she has slept from 8.30 to 5.30 for 2 nights this week and only woke 1-2 times last night. Feeding settles her instantly also.

You are not alone, i am in the 'seriously sleep deprived club' also. :hugs:

Me, i would take the easy way and just give him a bit of boob for the sake of my sleep! Will a bit of water satisfy him instead? maybe in a bottle or spill proof cup? I often think my DD wakes up due to thirst.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Leonie.. that is the thing - if he isn't fed he just never shuts up. DH tried everything under the sun the other night (made a huge mess in the kitchen) when he woke at 1am and he didn't go back to sleep until 3.30am... then up at 4.30am as per usual.

Jabber Jaw... it is both comforting and depressing that you are in the same boat.. it wouldn't be quite as bad if he was in bed with me but I have to have him in the cot next to the bed so he can't attack the baby.

I really don't know what the best way to approach this is.

It's like he just hates sleeping? I wish I knew more about how the brain works re sleep

[MsMummy]

I read in mX today (I know, the home of good quality journalism...:o) that they had diagnosed a 4-year-old British girl with insomnia.

The parenting gods suck. For your good sleeping baby, you must be punished with getting up at 4.30am forever.

My son had some crazy idea that he wanted to get up before 6am when he was younger. I sort of "trained" him into sleeping in, in so far as I wuold refuse to get up and just offer him the boob until he drifted off, and eventually he just started sleeping in until about 7am on average (longer if it's my day off and I stay in bed). (I'm not suggesting you bribe him with boob though as that's what you're trying to avoid).

If he sleeps in bed with you, does he still get up at 4.30am?

[JabberJaw]

IS bub in bed with you? COuld you put bub in a cot on hubbys side of the bed, and put wakeful angel in a cot sidecar style on your side? I did this with my 2 when they were little. (Funnily enough the oldest one was a horrid sleeper and the little one was a great sleeper....still the same 5 years on! LOL)

I have my wakeful angel sidecar style now too, she only spends a short amount of time in bed with us, and its usually around 4.30 too, when the birds start chirping and the air seems to cool. I always think she wakes because she gets too cold around that time. Dunno...any excuse is a good one!

[codswallop]

im in your boat to!
DS is still waking 2-3 times a night for a feed and yes i know he can sleep all night with out it but im not listnin to him scream for a hour !!!!!!!
honestly i have no advice on the + side DS did finaly start sleeping through at about 16-18 months more often then not

[Mrs Nietzsche]

MsMummy - 4.30am has been when the boob bar reopens, because then at least I can pretend to myself that I am sleeping a bit longer while he has a feed.

ANyway I just let him sleep in bed with me last night once the screeching started (around midnight).

So I am now co-sleeping wiht 2. Great.

I probably did get slightly more sleep, at least less stress. DS did roll over the top of me on to the baby's side once and wake her up... I have to remmeber not to let him do that. (SHe went straight back to sleep)

He is such a boisterous child (currently bashing the flyscreen and screaming AHH, AHHH, bibby bibby AHH etc) that I think the more time he can spend in a calm state the better.

Anyway as an experiment I am going to abandon the night weaning and see how we all go letting him stay in bed and feed.... if it is a disaster I'll have to night wean him again. This will only work due to the new baby being such an angel.

No doubt there's a good chance I will be posting again in a week on trying to night wean him again..

[codswallop]

good luck maire

[deb1234]

Maire, its so hard being sleep deprived and it seems like it will never end. Isaac was still having 10+ feeds a day at 20 months. :rolleyes:
If i were you, i would move him to his own bedroom. This may not be what you want to do but you never know, one of you may be waking him up with your snoring. :D
I'd also wait 5 mins before going in, then go in and see if he is safe and leave again. its a hard road but in a week you might have a sleeping child!

Also, not sure where you live but in the winter here we had a heater on in Isaac's room and he woke up all the time because he was thirsty, the heater was taking the water out of the air.

Good luck :hugs:

[Jaspat24]

My DS is doing the same thing Maire...i've just been bringing him into bed with me and he just feeds on and off overnight. I'm thinking of closing the milkbar and trying a resettling strategy...i'm not sure yet what to do but i spose something will come to light.
Good luck with your bubba

[Gabi]

How did you night wean him last time Maire?

I night weaned my son for the same reason. He was waking hourly (or less) for a feed and I was pregnant. The way I did it was no longer to share a room with him and have DH take over completely overnight. I didn't feel bad because up until then I had been going it alone at night - so it seemed fair. DS knows he can't have milk if daddy comes into him, and after a bit he gave up waking because he knew he wasn't going to get milk.

DH kept things feeling like night time, didn't get DS up, didn't offer food (but did offer water), didn't get into huge cuddles etc. Being told by daddy to 'go back to sleep' isn't half as nice as coming into bed with mummy and having milk all night long - so waking stopped being worth it.

When we share a room DS still doesn't sleep as well because as soon as he sees me he wants milk. But he still sleeps much better than he ever did before.

Do you think part of it could be emotional? I am expecting a similar thing to happen in our house once our baby arrives.:(