View Full Version : Anyone else *not* finding out the gender?
I know I'm in the minority here so just wondering.
We already have one beautiful daughter and did not find out for her either. I can honestly say I'd be happy with either a boy or a girl this time round.
proudmama
23-11-2009, 11:24
was haven't found out with this one - we did with DS but more so that being first time parents we wanted to get the "right stuff" for bub but this time round we have enough nuetral stuff to get us by for either sex
it's funny how it's just the norm to know now what you are having - the first thing ppl ask is "so what are you having?" not "do you know the sex?" and when i say we haven't found out they are shocked and instantly say "oh i don't know how you couldn't find out" - it makes it more exciting and even though with only 2 and a bit weeks to go it's doing my head in at the same time i can use it as motivation to get me through the labour - and just once i'd like that moment of finding out as s/he enters the world - you only get that chance a few times so why steal away the magic of it
Countrydeb
23-11-2009, 12:47
I didn't find out for my first 2 but when having my third i wanted to know as i really wanted a girl [after 2 boys] We didn't have much money at the time so i would have lay-byed some girly stuff if needed .As it was a boy i already had what i needed....With my 4th bub i was desperate for a girl and had to know so i could adapt and deal with my feelings....Perfect scenario i would have loved to wait and get a beautiful surprise of a girl but didn't happen so i had 17 weeks to adjust to my disappointment as yet another boy,i think if i'd waited i might have had some serious bonding issues with my son as i would have deluded myself it was a girl for all that time,it was hard enough at 20 weeks......I am 42 so my baby-making days are nearly over so this was important to me but in a perfect world would have loved to waited to find out......
it's funny how it's just the norm to know now what you are having - the first thing ppl ask is "so what are you having?" not "do you know the sex?"
My favourite response to the "What are you having?" question is "Uh, a baby. What else is it going to be? A giraffe? ". :p It's such a silly question!
We aren't finding out the sex of this bub, same as we didn't when I was pregnant with DD. We like the surprise! :D
I'm amazed at how many of my friends and family get angry that we aren't finding out because it will make it hard for them to buy presents! :rolleyes:
proudmama
26-11-2009, 07:24
My favourite response to the "What are you having?" question is "Uh, a baby. What else is it going to be? A giraffe? ". :p It's such a silly question!
We aren't finding out the sex of this bub, same as we didn't when I was pregnant with DD. We like the surprise! :D
I'm amazed at how many of my friends and family get angry that we aren't finding out because it will make it hard for them to buy presents! :rolleyes:
:laughing::laughing::laughing: - no at this size it's a hippo LMAO
and they do get angry don't they - it amazes me - i just tell them to get creative or wait til bub is born (or not buy anything at all - it's not like we're asking them to do it)
MothersMilk
26-11-2009, 07:50
We don't know the sex of this baby - i am looking forward to the surprise :D
With DD we did find out - i didn't want to but DH did. I felt sure it was a girl so decided to just find out.
This time i have no strong feelings about what the gender is - i change my mind all the time.
We haven't found out, DH wanted to, but I said no! I want that magic moment of "congratulations, its a baby .........." Not that it wasn't very tempting, and working in medical imaging means I would have easily been able to find out if I changed my mind!
I found out and it was still a huge surprise when they tell you at u/s that it's a girl. They still said "it's a girl" when she was born. The surprise for us was seeing what and who she looked like :goodvibes: My DF cried when she was born and said "she's here" :cloud9:
I'll be finding out again for this baby too. I'm actually goung to do intelligender. You get your money back if it's wrong. Then I will be finding out on u/s.
For me, I felt I bonded really well with my baby. We had her name picked out before we even knew she was a girl and spoke to her using her name whislt she was in utero :D
MillipedesMummy
29-11-2009, 20:51
I'm not finding out. My Dr was pleasantly surprised to hear that we didn't want to find out. He said that about 98% of his patients find out.
I don't want my baby to have a name before it's born, I'm looking forward to the 'It's a girl' or 'It's a boy' and then seeing what he/she looks like before we name them. I am a very impatient person, but this is something I really excited about waiting for.
witherwings
30-11-2009, 07:06
I'd like to know right away. I'm too much of a "plan ahead" type.. plus, I dont want to get a bunch of gender neutral gifts :p
We're not finding out either. I was tempted to this round but thought I should do the same as we did with DS1 and keep it as a surprise. It's nice finding out at the end.
Janesmum123
01-12-2009, 17:20
I wish I had the strenght not to find out...I'm dying to know!
It woud be wonderful to find out at the birth.
I will find out in a few weeks...unless I control myself and not ask...which isn't likely.
sarahjean
01-12-2009, 18:18
We aren't finding out this time :)
Would love a boy but as long as bub's healthy is all that matters.
We didn't find out with our first 2. It is so exciting having the birth then finding out :D
SassyMummy
02-12-2009, 12:04
I didn't find out with DD, though I wanted to.
I was actually happy I didn't find out, and hope not to find out with any future babies too.
I honestly don't think people who find out earlier know what they're missing out on by having to wait until the baby is here. Sure, it's a suprise either way, but IMO it's a much better time to recieve that suprise.
We don't know what we're having this time. We found out with DD and as much as I am dying to know this time around, I am so glad we didn't ask the sex at the scan. It's much more exciting.
we're still ttc#1 so i can't speak from actual experience but i agree that it would probably give you more motivation to push it out and while i'm usually really impatient (which is making ttc a rather unpleasant experience arrgh) i'm old fashioned in that i don't want to find out til it's here. we have names picked (see sig) so while i really want a girl (dp doesn't care about gender) it's really not an issue which one it is. i'm not keen on pink and blue because it's such a stereotype so gender neutral stuff is good with me. but yeah neither of us want to know and imho i don't understand why people would. i don't have a problem with other people wanting to find out, i just don't understand it. i guess it's part of wanting to raise my children (we want 3) as traditionally as we can in a lesbian relationship. don't find out the sex, bf, that kinda stuff.
tbizabishaka
12-12-2009, 23:28
I only ever asked with my first but they said that they couldn't tell. I'm glad it ended up a suprise. My second and third were suprises as well. Fourth time round we decided to wait and see but having 3 girls it's been hard to resist the temptation to find out if it's a boy. But what will be will be and honestly after 9 monhs of waiting you're just happy to have a healthy baby.
Tess
Mezmerised
13-12-2009, 08:38
I'm 15w with our first, and not finding out. It really feels like I'm in the minority in my due in thread (and was in the ttc thread too). I think IF we had decidde to find out for ourselves we wouldn't tell everyone, as hard as that would be. I just think that when it is born it isn't as exciting if everyone knows. Oh she had him, we knew it was a boy. No omg boy or girl??!!
I also like the idea of having a lot of gender neutral stuff because then it can be used for future bubs too. I am struggling with 2 sets of names though!
I can't believe how it is the 2nd question everyone asks too, when are you due, do you know what you're having. I've found most people are satisfied with the answer when I say no though, they always say a surprise is nice. But the same people would prob say 'that makes it easier' if I said I was finding out. They prob say whatever they think I want to hear lol! It might get worse closer to the time of present buying though :rolleyes:
~BEXTER~
13-12-2009, 08:44
I'm not finding out.
I did with Keiara and even though they said girl I only brought a few pink things.
this time we want the surprise so I am happy to wait till the end.
We never found out when I was pregnant with DS and we won't be finding out this time either. I want to know, but I don't. I like the surprise. The whole time I was pregnant I just knew DS was a boy and it was still a surprise. This time I'm thinking girl, so we'll see if I'm right in 6 months.
sweetseven
13-12-2009, 10:35
it's funny how it's just the norm to know now what you are having - the first thing ppl ask is "so what are you having?"Mostly, I responded clearly, "a baby", sometimes I would joke, "a monkey, nah a puppy, no, we thought we would be boring and stick with a baby" but only if the situation seemed right.
Of course their next question was more explicit, "boy or girl?".
To which my answer was accurately, "Yes!"
==============
I never wanted to find out. My then DH insisted for #2, so we could tell our eldest if she was having a baby brother or sister. I always regretted it, and felt cheated. By #3, our relationship had broken down and he didn't bother coming along to the U/S (of which I had three checking for a heart condition) so he didn't get to ask - and no way was I asking. Same thing happened with #4, he didn't bother to show up, and I didn't even have a U/S for #5.
For the last two with a different father, he, like me, didn't want to know, so there was no difficulty there. I think his reasoning was that he wanted a son, and if it was to be a girl, wanted to meet her first so that he could fall in love with her, instead of still being at arms length and also dealing with not having a boy.
For the last two with a different father, he, like me, didn't want to know, so there was no difficulty there. I think his reasoning was that he wanted a son, and if it was to be a girl, wanted to meet her first so that he could fall in love with her, instead of still being at arms length and also dealing with not having a boy.
i didn't write it in my last post here but that's the other reason i don't want to know. i really want a girl and have no interest whatsoever in having a boy partly cos i don't know anything about them and feel completely unqualified to raise one. having said that if we have a boy then we have a baby and i'll be over the moon. but i don't want to know cos i think it would take a lot of excitement out of the birth, especially if it was a boy. i don't want to be biassed about my children's births and i think i'd be a lot less excited about a boy. i know that's terrible i'm sorry if it offends anyone
GreenEnvelope
17-12-2009, 12:55
Hi :reindeer:
We're not finding out. It's our first and we'd honestly be happy with either. We're just praying for a healthy baby. Makes a nice surprise for the rest of the family too! :hugs:
we didn't find out with either of our boys, and I LOVED not knowing! :D
This time around, I once again am not tempted one little bit but my DH annouced to me on Saturday that he might find out, ggrrrrr, he still hasn't really given me a good reason for wanting to know yet, but all I've told him is if he does find out & he lets it slip to me or anyone else, I will not forgive him!! I think the excitement of going through the 9 months of pregnancy & the pains of labour make that one little moment of it's a .... just so special.. :D
I too am so surprised at peoples reactions that i'm not finding out, one of my best friends and my SIL both want me to know so they can shop for it, which for me is a completely lame excuse! Either buy neautral, I personally think brand new babies look gorgeous in crisp white clothes :D or wait until the baby is here & then go shopping... that's what I've always done for people, and that's what people did for decades before finding out the sex became the norm
I didn't find out with my 3 girls. No disappointment. I plan to find out next time as I'm sick of people asking " are you going to try again for a boy?". Especially father in law. Apparantely it reflects on the size of H's willy if he can't GET a boy?! Sick of being given blue things at baby showers by him!! If it's another girl, I'll tell him flat. GIRL!! Don't bother to visit at hospital. I feel really protective of baby and will defend from day 1 pregnant. Want to tell him it's a girl regardless to **** him off. Joke on him. Anyone else cop this much harassment?
~CupCakes~
02-04-2010, 21:45
We didn't find out with any of our 3 :) it's such a nice surprise and there are so few things that are a surprise like that!!! Neither of us wanted to know and DH had a great time shopping for a few outfits while I was at hosp :)
We also kept names a surprise too!!!!
Pulp Fiction
02-04-2010, 22:23
I'll be finding out again for this baby too. I'm actually goung to do intelligender. You get your money back if it's wrong. Then I will be finding out on u/s.
Are you sure you can get your money back on Intelligender? Its been wrong for a hell of a lot of people according to online polls.
Although, they could probably afford to offer money back. Even if its right only 50% of the time the tests are like what $80 each? Even if they had to refund half the people their money they would still be making the equivalent of $40 a test.
Have you done the PH test? Apparently Intelligender is exactly the same thing.
Pulp Fiction
02-04-2010, 22:27
I found out the sex of my first baby (boy) and I am going to find out the sex of this baby. If this one is a girl so I have one of each, I probably wouldn't find out the sex if I got pregnant again.
ebonyblackdog
21-05-2010, 12:23
I have 2 very different sisters.
Eldest sister never found out what any of her 3 kids were.
The middle one did, both times. I will be very honest, and may offend some here... I was excited for my middle sisters first child, as it was her first though we knew it was a girl. I was happy for her when she announced at 20 weeks the 2nd was a boy. Because she would have 1 of each. But by the time he was born, I wasn't very excited at all, because we knew everything about him pretty much before his due date!
The eldest sister's first 2 were girls, and so they went back trying for a boy (using Shettles). It was so exciting the whole time because NO ONE knew anything. I was so excited in the weeks leading up to the birth. She had a false alarm around the due date, which made it so suspensful. Baby 3 was a boy and it was so amazing to hear they got the boy they so desired. I couldn't sleep the night he was born, I'd seen my sister and her hubby on the way to hospital, but he took ages to actually come after her waters broke. When I got the phone call I was OVER the moon with joy for them. It must've been hard for the ob who knew how much they wanted a boy but didnt tell them. The ob claimed to have forgotten what they were having...
Shellfish
25-05-2010, 09:52
We won't be finding out this time round. We did with DS and once the initial excitement had died down, I had a sense of regret that we had found out and not waited.
I don't have any really strong feelings either way - I have my little boy and so would be happy either way this time.
lovemybabies!
27-05-2010, 16:48
I found out for my two but this one is going to be a surprise. I have one of each so it doesn't matter. Not that it mattered what the other two were either.
When that day comes for our first baby, i don't plan to find out. It is going to be really hard for me because i'm so curious by nature but i think it will be worth it in the end. I have no idea how i'll go with labour so it might be worth having that at the end of the rainbow.
EquineMum
28-05-2010, 06:41
DS1 was a surprise and this baby will be too. We have our 20 wk scan coming up in a few weeks and people are already saying 'oh, are you excited about finding out what you're having?!?!' and they look genuinely shocked when I say we don't want to know :laughing:
I LOVED the surprise at the end of DS' birth...the whole "what is it?!?" "what is it?!" and then my DH proudly saying "OMG! We have a son!!" (gives me tears just thinking about it). Can't wait for that moment again - and we will be just as happy to have another boy as we will be with a little girl. I am so over people assuming we want one of each!!
I LOVED the surprise at the end of DS' birth...the whole "what is it?!?" "what is it?!" and then my DH proudly saying "OMG! We have a son!!" (gives me tears just thinking about it). Can't wait for that moment again - and we will be just as happy to have another boy as we will be with a little girl. I am so over people assuming we want one of each!!
I understand exactly!!! :D I didn't even need someone to tell me what sex that baby was, one look at DH's face (bit like this :D) and I said it's a boy isn't it..... and it was the same with DS2, it was so exciting and I can't wait to experience it again with this one, but I'm with you in being over everyone assuming we want a girl, my standard answer is "I don't care, we have two beautiful boys, why wouldn't I want another!"
Shellfish
28-05-2010, 10:35
I LOVED the surprise at the end of DS' birth...the whole "what is it?!?" "what is it?!" and then my DH proudly saying "OMG! We have a son!!" (gives me tears just thinking about it).
:D That's what I want! Except DH is a bit of a 'jokster' and will say something stupid, I am sure - it's a cat :rolleyes:
GirlsRock
28-05-2010, 10:52
We didnt find out with DD and wont be finding out again. I havent found anyone who gets angry that we are not finding out, more often than not I get people saying "a surprise. that's great", or "oh god no I couldnt wait", but no one gets angry.
There is one major thing that peeves me though and that is the people that say "oh but your DH must want a son, all men want a son". I feel that it really devalues our DD's life and I find it very rude. We will be overjoyed whether this baby is a girl or a boy. My DH burst into tears when she was born saying over and over "i have a little girl, a beautiful little girl". I did ask him outright "what will you think if this baby is another girl" and he said "I'll love her just as much as I love DD. Although, DD is so beautiful it would be really hard to be her sister". oooh, so gorgeous!
I have never even considered for a second finding out the gender.
I love listening to all the women around me discuss what they think we are having and why. I love listening to everyone's wives tales and having my Mum do the ring test.
I just feel so excited to wait and find out when this beautiful little person makes their entrance. DH and I have even asked the midwives not to tell us, we want to look and discover together.
scarymarygoldfish
28-05-2010, 17:31
by the time he was born, I wasn't very excited at all, because we knew everything about him pretty much before his due date!
I was like that with a friend of mine!! which is another reason we won't be finding out.
We have our little IVF miracle on the way in around 7 weeks time and never intended to discover the sex of our little one. Why would you want to?
Cheers to all.
Paul...
i like the idea of a surprise, i thought i would be gagging to find out, but as it happens, i am calmer than i have ever been,
so much for pregnancy hormones!
i love the surprise!!!
It's easy making the decision not to find out the gender, but it's so hard sticking to it. We've struggled on throughout and at times it would have been so easy to sneak a look at our 4D images but we've been strong. I know we've made the right decision for us and I'm glad we stuck to it. I love surprises.
Cheers to all.
Paul.:wave:
ebonyblackdog
18-06-2010, 08:51
Had to have an early ultrasound done the other day and the sonographer told us that people come in thinking they can find out the sex at 6 weeks!!!
He asked us if we would be finding out and when we said no, he was so happy and he said hardly anyone keeps it a surprise these days and he thinks it's great when people wait to find out.
nellybelly
18-06-2010, 11:01
We had our 20 week morph scan yesterday and didn't find out. You're right Paul, we decided (well DH decided!) not to find out this time as we did last time by my choice, and I was still torn yesterday whether to change my mind or not! I am even still fighting the urge to check our DVD for signs :) But I agree, the surprise at the end will totally be worth it.. There are pros and cons either way, but will just be happy to hold my healthy bub in my arms :)
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