TT child wetting at daycare

[ManekiNeko]

My DD is 3 and a half and has only been wearing nappies to bed for the past 6 months. We never have any accidents at home or when we go out but for the pas 5 or so weeks she has wet herself at daycare. She only goes one day a week and i don't drop her off or pick her up but htey have never spoken to DP or MIL about this at all and I am actually quite annoyed. She is autistic so trying to ask her why she is wetting at daycare is inmpossible but I just dont understand why she is and why they aren't discussing i with us.

[ManekiNeko]

Does anyone have an idea about why this might be happening?

[naebie]

At home does she take herself to the toilet, or are you taking/ asking her when you think she needs to go? Could it be that she isn't able to take herself to the toilet when she is at day care?
Another thing, could it be that she is just too engrossed in what she is doing at daycare, and that she doesn't realise til too late?
Do your daycare have TTing communication books. If not, I think they should. That way they can let you know what the circumstances are around the wetting, i.e if she got to the toilet as she was going, or if she indicated her wetness after the fact, etc.

I think they should definitely be communicating much better than they are. As someone who is studying Early Childhood Teaching, a lot of the emphasis in our course is on communicating and collaborating with families.

[ManekiNeko]

Oh they are jsut absolutely hopeless and I am so over them. I am moving her daycare but because she is autistic there is a heap of paper work and I may not get her into the new place til after christmas. At home sometimes she tells me then goes other times she just goes on her own. If we are out somewhere she always tells me when she needs to go. I don't drop her off but I told DP to have a word with them and make sure they are taking her to the toilet regularly and especially before a nap.

[naebie]

It does sound as though they are pretty hopeless. Is she having more than 1 accident a day?
Every centre I've been in has set times where they ask children to go to the toilet, as well as letting them go as they need, cos a lot of kids forget they haven't been in a while! You could maybe ask your DP to get you a copy of the centre's "Toileting" policy, most centres should have one!

[ManekiNeko]

Even when we told them our suspicions of her being autistic they were like er no she seems pretty normal nothing out of character here. When asked to write a report they asked for 2 weeks to observe as they couldn't off the top of their head. All of the things they wrote contradicted what I was telling the paed thankfuly he listened to me. When I told them that she was being dx they were like oh yeah well now you mention it we do notice things :hair:. They haven't told me of any programs for autistic children meanwhile the daycare I am enrolling has. Oh god everytime I just think of them I get furiously mad.

The only real change I can think of though is that she moved into a new room a few weeks before this started happening and she does have regressive autism although she isn't really regressing in tt because she is fine when she is with us or or family.

[Me]

She sounds very similar to when dd1 started wetting herself at kindy after being tt'd. For dd1 it was because her teacher went on maternity leave and she got a new teacher. It very much sounds to me that it is linked to her getting a new teacher and needing time to adjust and bond with her new teacher.

I hope her new centre is a lot better, a decent ccc makes a world of difference to our kids!

[ManekiNeko]

Thanks me I hope that's it and it's ok when she goes to the new centre.

[guerin]

My only suggestion is this. Don't try and guess why from our responses but take the time out and that may mean time off work (call in sick if you have to), and ask.

They should have communicated with you but you need to find the answers and we may with our guesses hit on it. You asking will get a more accurate answer. When is she wetting herself, what are they doing at the time? There are many things parents and day care workers can achieve together for a person's child but that cannot be achieved without communication and sometimes that communication has to be initiated and chased by the parent. Also ask your DH and MIL the questions you would like asked and get them to ask them at times you are unable to do so.

[Little-Pink-Hen]

Tracyselena - the preschool def have been communicating to you about this! Were you not told about the wets at all?
When I have children in my room gave accidents I let the parents know even if it just so they can make sure they get to wash the wet cloths ( I know some of us get home and don't touch day care bag until the next time)
I always let parents know what was the cause, eg: sleeping, tried to make it but left it too late, was playing outside, too engrosed etc. Particuarly becuase your dd is new to tt and has additional needs with asd this should of been communicated.

Ur dd maybe regressing for some reason, change of routine, stressed, upset or just so involved with playing.

The centre should be encouringing toileting every hour and self toilting by self but accidents still happen

[ManekiNeko]

I don't go there because I don't drive and it's too far for me so DP drops off and his parents pick up and neither said that it was ever mentioned to them. Yes I've gone to repack the bag and found wet clothes. I know that if they told her every hour it wouldn't happen because she is very good with the toilet. Even when we've been in the city and she's told me she needed to go she's waited 10 mins for me to find one without her wetting. I was just so annoyed and angry that they don't discuss this with me or our family and I wonder what else they aren't telling me about. I had a word to DD yesterday morning and told her she needs to go to the toilet and to make sure she asks someone. She didn't wet for the first time in weeks and I gave her a big cuddle and told her how proud I was and she was so happy that I was happy. I will call them and speak to her teacher today and see what's up.

[ManekiNeko]

I just spoke to her teacher and she said that she leaves at two but DD hasn't really been having any accidents with her but will ask the afternoon staff to get to the bottom of it. I also asked DD if anyone was being mean to her and she said Uniqua and Honey and Uniqua hits her. The teacher told me thsoe two girls are actually the girls she is friends with and plays with but she will keep an eye on the three of them and watch and also the toileting.

[Little-Pink-Hen]

Not saying those kids don't pick on her. But some kds at that age name their friends just becuase they can't remember any other children on the spot iykwim
maybe its becuase dd didn't understand she could use the toliet without asking or even didn't even know she didn't need to as dosnt feel comfortable asking other teachers after her teacher leaves at two