Should we get a doula or not?

[susmamma]

Hi, I posted this as a reply to another thread but havent got any replies so I thought I'd put it out there to see if anyone has any feedback for me ;).
My husband and I have been thinking about a doula for our second baby (due oct 15). We had a horrendous experience with our first birth and would dearly love to have a better experience second time around. Due to a 3rd degree tear I'm currently having some tests to see if it's a good idea to have a vaginal delivery or better to go for c-sect. If we do c-sect I wouldnt have thought there would be much point in having a doula?
I've been thinking about doula's and epidurals (we were drug free last time and I'm scared to do the same again after experiencing so much pain last time) and c-sections and turning it all around in my head. Do you think I'm better off waiting to sort out if we should get a doula until after we've worked out if I'm having a c-sect or not? We are currently at RHW (Sydney) but will be transferring to RPA as we're moving house in a couple of weeks. I've been told by RPA that even if RHW think I should have c-sect they will need to do their own tests to confirm this. Surely I wouldnt have to go through all of the tests again? Cant they just transfer files or something?
Thanks for any thoughts on this,
Regards
Susanna

[Sarie]

Hi Susanna,
I don't know anything about the tests thing, sorry. But it doesn't hurt to start getting any info now and be well informed for any decision you make.
We also had a not terribly nice experience for our first baby. But second time around was a breeze in comparison. The lenght of labour was so much shorter and I only pushed 7 times instead of pushing for 3 hours.
We did it all with just my DH by myside and a great midwife.
This time round it will again just be my DH and a midwife. My DH knows my needs and wants and he's done a great job at conveying that to the hospital staff. I personally wouldn't want anyone else there. But thats just me.

[susmamma]

Hi Sarie,
Thanks for your post. Good to hear second time round was easier! I pushed for 4.5 hours with Ella and had a very unsupportive midwife (hard to believe seeing as most midwives are amazing). After 22 hours of contractions coming 2 minutes apart (for the entire 22 hours) I was totally exhausted by the time they pulled Ella out by vontuse.
Whilst I'd really like to give this next baby a natural birth, the other half of me wouldnt mind just sticking in an epidural and going to sleep being woken up in time to push!

[cosmic]

I had what I would call a 'doula' (a birth support person educated in natural birth but not officially a doula) and I was SO very grateful to have her there. We ummed and ahhed for a long time but I would absolutely recommend you have one if you are keen to have the birth you want.

My birth didn't go to plan and I ended up with a c-section but all through the labour whenever there was a concern about what was happening or a decision that needed to be made, it was great to have her there to double-check and to get her perspective on the 'natural' options before going for the medical intervention.

And I would also highly recommend you allow the RPA to give you their opinion re: natural birth. RWH has very different policies on that - my friend (a bubhubber) was forced into a c-section after pushing for 2 hours because that's their policy whereas at RPA I was allowed to push for 6+ hours and also try the ventouse before going down the c-section path. I am very grateful that they allowed me to do everything I could to try to have the baby naturally.

If you have emotional issues as a result of your previous bad birth experience, I would recommend you maybe try some hypnobirthing or natural birth classes to shift your thinking. To me, that is more important than a doula (but I'd have a doula as well!) since your mental state has so much to do with the type of experience you have. good luck. :)

[shed]

I am having a doula as this is our first baby and I want DP to have someone supporting him while he supports me.

Besides which, our doula is a masseur as well, so that's gotta be good!! I am really wanting her there just to give me confidence in my own abilities and so DP doesn't get too stressed about seeing me in pain. She is also the bridge between myself and the staff in regard to my birth plan, so DP and I can just get on with becoming a mummy and daddy.

Its a personal decision, but they only get as involved as you want them to. They are there to do your bidding and help you. Its all about you. Our doula is lovely but once the birth is over she won't be hanging around in the room. She will leave us to bond as a family and then she will come and see me when I need her, at hospital and at home.

Its just another person to support you, the difference being the personal touch and the knowledge they bring with them.