If I get the job....when should I mention my pregnancy??? [Archive]

poppygirl

16-11-2009, 05:54

Hey....wasn't sure which section to post in, but this seemed the most relevant to my topic so.....

I applied for a job a few weeks ago. Since applying and being offered an interview, Ive got a BFP and by my calculations, I'm due July 6 2010.

Now, I have a feeling I might just get this job...maybe I'm being too optimistic, but it just "feels" right. And there's my dilemma:

It's a great job in a great location;
I have been trying for ages to get a decent job;
I would love to work before having my second baby - SAHM situation is monotonous for me right now;
It pays REALLY well;
We have been living on one very average income for 3 years and we are broke;
We need to renovate / buy new house and the money i could earn before leaving to have my baby would be such a great help
We're having a second baby - we need money!!!
Relationship with DH has been strained lately which is linked to fact he has a job he doesn't like and earns crap money and feels the pressure to earn money for us all
If I do get the job, I would only have been in it 8 months when baby is due so i wouldn't be eliible for mat leave...maybe they would consider Leave Without Pay but maybe not....

I know i am counting my chickens a bit before they hatch, but it is on my mind all the time....if i am offered the job when do i say i am pregnant?? I will not be 12 weeks til early January, so i am not telling anyone til then. But if feels wrong to accept a job and then dump the news that i am pregnant. On the other hand, i am very early on in my pregnancy - anything could happen, i am still at the riskier end of things.

In the past I have been very loyal and considerate as far as employers have been concerned, but I have been burnt so many times and during my last pregnancy, was treated horrendously by my employer - hence i resigned at the end of my mat leave. I have a friend who works with this prospective employer though and they have been extremely compassionate and fair with her as an employee when she has needed time off due to family death etc etc.....

When and how would you mention your pregnancy if you were in this situation?? Sorry for the long rambling post!!!

3'llhavetodo

16-11-2009, 06:36

lizzymcfizzy

16-11-2009, 11:25

If it were me I'd leave it as long as you can unless you are in a field were being pregnat will affect your ability to do the job or your safety. What they don't know won't hurt them:yes:

I'd wait til around 20 weeks and just march into the boss' office and say " I think you should know before the Grape vine gets to You I'm pregnant" :-)

ditto!!! I'd take the job and wait until its obvious that you are pregnant before you tell them.

That way atleast you have 8 months good pay. If you tell them now it is illegal to not offer you the job but it would certainly hinder them from offering it to you.

They don't need to know that you knew you were pregnant before you took the job ;)

mumma2cubs

16-11-2009, 22:32

I was in the EXACT same position.

I took the job, did my 3 months probation - the very next day told my boss I was pregnant and taking 12 months off - I never went back!!

If you earn the job on your merit - then take it and enjoy the money for 8 months.

Good luck!

Chaton

19-11-2009, 12:03

I wouldn't tell them until you clear the 12 week hurdle (unless you feel it is becoming obvious before then). They also don't ever have to know that you got your BFP before accepting the job if it makes you feel more comfortable to let them think that.

As far as maternity leave, they have to allow you at least 6 weeks off before your EDD (although you can work until closer to then if you want to, they agree and you provide a Dr certificate saying its ok to do so), and 52 weeks of unpaid leave in total - they are required to hold your job for you for this period. The laws are changing in March 2010 to possibly extend this period to 24 months (:eek:). You cannot come back to work earlier than 6 weeks before birth unless they agree and you get a Dr certificate saying its ok. Hope this helps.

And congrats on the BFP!!

Theophania

19-11-2009, 12:09

I am pretty sure that legally you don't have to tell them at all. You could just give your two weeks notice when you are ready to finish up.

In saying that I was in a similar situation only I got the job, stated on Tuesday on Friday I was horrendously sick and found out I was preggas. I absolutely loved the job though and everyone there. I told them when I was 9 weeks and stayed on until a month before my due date :) They couldn't give me any mat leave but when I am ready to go back if they have an opening they are more than happy to take me back:)

Good luck

katieinwa

19-11-2009, 12:21

ok if you get the job look over the workplace agreement and in particuar the leave section

most jobs (especially the private sector) you have to have 12 months continuous service to be eligible for maternity leave (paid or unpaid)

i have a govt job and once you have done 6 months service and gain permanancy you are eligible to unpaid maternity leave but not paid until you have done 12 months service

so my first baby i was only there just under 8 months before i left on unpaid leave, then 9 months unpaid maternity leave but it still left me 6 weeks short of 12 months service arrrgh!! this time i have surpassed the qualifying period and will get paid maternity leave :)

Rebdot

19-11-2009, 14:10

If it were me I'd leave it as long as you can unless you are in a field were being pregnat will affect your ability to do the job or your safety. What they don't know won't hurt them:yes:

I'd wait til around 20 weeks and just march into the boss' office and say " I think you should know before the Grape vine gets to You I'm pregnant" :-)

Being the person responsible for staff at my work I have a different opinion :D

Id tell them that your pregnant, personally Id be very annoyed if I hired someone thinking they were filling the position long term, the employer deserves to know now that they will have to fill this position again in 8 months and then they have the choice to hire someone else if they dont want to do that.

I dont think its fair to withhold that kind of information.

I think its being dishonest.

kuddles

19-11-2009, 14:19

If you get it I'd say take it and then tell them when you feel comfortable too. If they are upset by it then oh well. I'm sure they would do the same thing in your shoes especially in these tough economic times. It is just part and parcel of employing people. Yes it can be frustrating searching for people to work for you but at the end of the day there is no guarantees on how long someone will fill that job. I was a retail manager for sometime and employed a young girl to work for me. Turn out she was 11 weeks pregnant when she took the job. At first I thought oh the cheeky bugger knew when she applied for the job. Then I thought about it some more and realised if I didn't give her a job who would and how would she afford to have her little one if I didn't employ her. You and your family need the money so take it. Enjoy it and Good luck with it.

rfm08

19-11-2009, 14:27

[QUOTE=poppygirl;4239936] But if feels wrong to accept a job and then dump the news that i am pregnant. QUOTE]

This here is is the tricky part ... imo (going against the trend of threads) am agreeing with redbot. You should tell them asap, i dont think its very fair that if you should get the job, they will have to go through the hurdles again in finding a new employee when you go on maternity leave. And yes it is withholding information that the employer does indeed, deserve to know.

On the other hand after saying all of that, i do wish you luck in regards to the job! :yes:

kiki07

19-11-2009, 14:42

Take the job!!!! You are only early in your pregnancy, and i am sure you are a capable worker and will give your best for the next 7 or 8 months. Although, legally employers can't discriminate on basis of pregnancy, we all know that many will cull you from the list if they know, before they ascertain your suitability for the position.

It gets much harder to go for jobs the further you are in your pregnancy (i know), and if all women who become pregnant are unable to apply for jobs (or have to declare it upfront) we as a society will be missing out on the benefits of utilising so many skillful women.

mumma2cubs

19-11-2009, 14:55

But if feels wrong to accept a job and then dump the news that i am pregnant.

This here is is the tricky part ... imo (going against the trend of threads) am agreeing with redbot. You should tell them asap, i dont think its very fair that if you should get the job, they will have to go through the hurdles again in finding a new employee when you go on maternity leave. And yes it is withholding information that the employer does indeed, deserve to know.

On the other hand after saying all of that, i do wish you luck in regards to the job! :yes:

I get why you'd do this, but it is also known that employers discriminate.

I honestly believe if you win the job on merit and are the best candidate, your employer won't care about arranging maternity leave - mine didn't!

Ask yourself if it would change things if you accepted the job, resigned from your current job and then found out you were pregnant.

rfm08

19-11-2009, 17:25

I get why you'd do this, but it is also known that employers discriminate.

I honestly believe if you win the job on merit and are the best candidate, your employer won't care about arranging maternity leave - mine didn't!

Ask yourself if it would change things if you accepted the job, resigned from your current job and then found out you were pregnant.

that would be different because she is knowingly pregnant iykwim? I get exactly where your are comming from too :), i think its just one of those things where the door swings both ways. Plus that was my opinion only, and i still stand by that. But i still think its great that op has put her self out there with the interveiw and i do wish her the best of luck! but if it were me i would still mention it asap.

mumma2cubs

19-11-2009, 19:27

Oh absolutely rfm08 - that's what I love about this site. So many variations on a situation and it's said lovingly!

This definitely is a sitting on the fence sort of situation where there are great points on both sides

rfm08

19-11-2009, 19:31

poppygirl

19-11-2009, 20:59

Hey .. thanks to everyone for their advice so far (am keen to hear what more people think!).

Second interview is tomorrow and still not sure what i will do...am erring on the side of telling them immediately IF i am successful but not before the decision has been made.....i dont really see the point in even applying for a job and stating immediatley that i am preggo...maybe i am just too cynical, but i don't think i would get far. But i think it is fair to be upfront asap if i get the job. I sort of wish i didn't know i was pregnant yet...would make the issue easier...i got the bfp inbetween applying and being offered an interview so it's slap-bang in the middle of the process.

Anyway..maybe i wont even get the job and all this worry will have been for nothing!

Ta everyone for your considered thoughts xx

MummaBear03

19-11-2009, 21:14

I was working as a casual at the time of falling pregnant and was fired as soon as I mentioned to my boss that the pregnancy was a positive, which was only after about 2 weeks, so I applied for other jobs then when I'd been given the job I was still only 7 weeks along when I told them that I was pregnant. They didn't fire me, they just kept me on casual instead of putting me on permanent. Being just 7 weeks along, a few weeks after being given the job, it made it easier to make out like I didn't know, but in all honesty how is a single pregnant chick meant to survive and get things ready for a baby without a job? No baby bonus either so it's not like I could have just bought the carseat and the rest with the baby bonus. So that's what I did and it worked out well, and yes there was that guilt over not telling them, but the guilt of not being able to provide for a baby who was solely dependent on me alone would have been far worse.

FullMoon

19-11-2009, 21:29

I think it would be a very very silly decision telling them you are pregnant before you get the job.
Its common knowledge that employers will discrimate against you because of this.. Even if you are the best person for the job..

Tell them whenever you want AFTER getting the job but i think you need to be fair on yourself.. If you get the job you obviously deserved it...

I found out I was pregnant the week I started working in between the interview and starting... I told them a few weeks later and they where fine with it.. And I stopped super early due to prem labour..

Now Im the manager and do the hiring and firing and i know it would probably taint my view if someone said they where pregnant...

Unfair on the employer?? Doubt it... Its unfair on you if you deserve the job and they dont give it to you because you are pregnant.

3lilcutipies

19-11-2009, 21:34

I too,was in exactly the same boat. I had had my interview and then found out I was pregnant. When they rang to offer me the job, I told them over the phone. I had debated whether or not to tell them, but I felt too guilty. Surprisingly I still got the job :) but they put me on a casual contract (probably to prevent the inevidible sick days etc) but that was ok. I guess the problem I wanted to avoid was hostility from the boss! If you get it, how long are planning to take for maternity leave? I guess if it was only a short time they might consider the LWOP option ?? Good luck with getting the job, and whatever decision you make! And congratulations on your pregnancy :yes:

Xmasbub

26-11-2009, 02:18

Hi poppygirl,
I have just been through a similiar situation. Went for a massive promotion in February, got pregnant in March, had to then have interviews in Paris, finally got the job in June, but was pregnant. Told them at 20 weeks (in August) and they were thrilled and said they would support me and to let them know what I needed and when I thought I could work to and return etc. I go on Mat Leave tomorrow, and it was definitely worth taking the job, although I felt horribly guilty initially.
I think that if you want the job and will commit to work the 8 months til you are due, that's fantastic! When an employer hires someone, they have no idea if they are going to be there for a day, a month or a decade. In your case you would be committing to a time frame AND keeping them informed of that time frame, instead of quitting on the spot. Gives them some stability and also warning time to get your position filled before you leave.
Also for you, if you do the job well, it shows your commitment and skill and you should get an offer to return afterwards.
As for when to tell them, 12 weeks is acceptable or after that. Gives you enough time to get settled into the role as well as a "traditional" announcement point that looks like you are keeping them informed and weren't hiding anything.
What do you think you are going to do? (or have you already got this awesome job??!)

:reindeer:Xmasbub

Gruffalo

26-11-2009, 11:45

Id tell them that your pregnant, personally Id be very annoyed if I hired someone thinking they were filling the position long term, the employer deserves to know now that they will have to fill this position again in 8 months and then they have the choice to hire someone else if they dont want to do that.

I dont think its fair to withhold that kind of information.

I think its being dishonest.

Sorry but I totally agree with the above post. I can understand that you want the job and financially it would be a huge help but I dont think its the right thing to do to your potential employer.

If it were my own business and a future employee knew before they accepted a position I think I would be slightly disgruntled. So if you get the job and decide not to tell them straight away, when it comes time to tell them they will do the maths and know anyway that you kept it from them. And some people would be okay with this but many would not. Its up to you I guess whether you want to place yourself if that kind of uncomfortable situation. I know if it were me though I wouldnt.

Honesty is the most definately the best policy I think.

sas09

26-11-2009, 12:49

Being the person responsible for staff at my work I have a different opinion :D

I dont think its fair to withhold that kind of information.

I think its being dishonest.

I don't think it is being dishonest at all and I don't think that its unfair to withhold this kind of information especially when you are being hired on merit.
I was also in this situation when I was hired for a Management position (I also do the hiring of staff and am responsible for other staff). I told my boss when I hit the 12 week mark and he couldn't be happier for me. Also because I have proved myself, as I was hired on merit, he is holding my position for me regardless of how long I take off and the fact that I do not have 12 months of continuous service. Since I have been in my position I have had 3 employees fall pregnant, all of whom were pregnant prior to me hiring them also.
I have actually been told (off the record) I was not hired for a position I applied for because I was young, recently married and female, so they wouldn't take the risk of me falling pregnant. That is wrong.
You are doing what is right for you, and setting your family up for the arrival of your little one. Good on you.

poppygirl

26-11-2009, 21:03

Hi, just updating...

I am still waiting to hear about the job. I know my referees were called, so i must be in there with a shot, but it has been a couple of days since then, and no word yet.......I am thinking i will tell them immediately if i am offered the job.

I think i am about eight weeks now, so if i am offered the job, by the time i actually start, i will be at least 10 weeks, so it feels way to uncomfortable to me to tell them just 2 weeks later when i hit the 12 week mark that, hey, guess what, i am pregnant. It is frustrating though because i am so aware of the risks at this early stage and i don't plan on telling anyone until i am at least 12 weeks, so it feels weird planning on telling potential future colleagues who are strangers to me at the moment.

We REALLY need the money and the chance to get out of a rut though, so if i am successful, i am willing them to be understanding and helpful!!

Ta to everyone so far for their helpful and considered thoughts xx

mumma2cubs

27-11-2009, 07:38

It is frustrating though because i am so aware of the risks at this early stage and i don't plan on telling anyone until i am at least 12 weeks, so it feels weird planning on telling potential future colleagues who are strangers to me at the moment.

If you really feel uncomfortable telling them after you start, why not say something like "I appreciate the offer of the position but I need to be honest. I've just found out I am pregnant - it's still the early days so I can't say if it will be viable or not, but wanted to be completely transparent in case this effects you offering me the position formally"

I doubt many employers would be game to offer it to you over the phone then reneg just on the basis of pregnancy.

poppygirl

28-11-2009, 03:45

Well I got the job! They called yesterday afternoon and are sending the contract etc for me to sign...I haven't said anything yet...there were two positions available, one with a 12 month contract and one with a 6 month contract. They offered me the 6 months, which takes me up the end of June 2010, and i think i am due around the first week of July, so i am thinking it may not be as much of an issue afterall......admittedly cutting it fine, but i think if all goes well with the pregnancy it's do-able. Because when i am pregnant i dont sleep much (what's with that!!!!), i am still churning things over in my head...like appointments...with my last pregnancy i spent half my life sitting in the public hospital waiting for clinic visits (we don't have private cover). Anyway, i think i feel more comfortable now to say to them something like "Because of the end-date of my contact, i don't think it will make a differenct to my employment with you, but i feel i should let you know, i am pregnant, and due in early July next year". Then, i could say something like, "I know there will be various appointments i need to attend and sometimes they will be in work hours, but i am sure they won't exceed my normal leave entitlements"......something like that...still feeling anxious and it's taken the shine of actually getting the job, cos i am so worried about it...but i think that's cos i cant sleep and have too much time to think about it!!!!

PS thanks mumma2cubs for your post x