To call him or not to call him?!?!?!

[princessbubba]

Hi everyone :wave:
Having a personal dilemma :( . I have split up with the father of my baby awhile ago. I called him a few times after we split and went and saw him. However things have definately changed and when I last saw him I felt angry and uncomfortable around him. I am not sure though if i should keep talking to him. I want my baby to know her dad but if he continues with his current life style then I dont. I had an ultrasound today and found out I am having a girl. He never calls me and it seems he really doesn't care about how I am going or the welfare of his child. Trying to decide whether I should call him and tell him he is going to have a dughter?!?! He has really hurt me and is still hurting me. I am just not sure what to do. :banghead:

Cheers JESS

[the_queen]

Can you email him? That way you've let him know the news but you haven't had to get drawn into a conversation with him. And if he knows your phone number but doesn't call every now and then to enquire how his unborn child is going, then it's his loss.

[Taylors_mum]

Yep email sounds good. Or maybe a SMS.

Just say "just though you might like to you are going to have a daughter"

Then the balls in his court... if he is a man he will call you!:thumbsup:

[Niki]

Yep email sounds good. Or maybe a SMS.

Just say "just though you might like to you are going to have a daughter"

Then the balls in his court... if he is a man he will call you!:thumbsup:

good idea then u dont actually have to talk to him, mite ,make it easier on you

[MeeG]

hay,
i kinda no what ur dealing with here my ex is a butt head i want too include him but he makes me hate him so much, i try to avoid situtions were he tries to be friendly cause he always uses what i say againest me.... but in your case i would tell him he has a daughter on the way, thats it, anything else doesnt really concern him til shes born..unless he makes the effort

[shed]

I wouldn't call him at all if I was you, or tell him anything.

She's YOUR daughter if he's not interested. Stuff him.

[Deity]

There is seldom any other time in your life than when you're pregnant that you are so in tune with yourself, and your body, and I reckon you should definitely trust your instincts on this.

It's hard, bloody hard, especially as you are carrying his child but if it offers you comfort to know I left my ex when I was 11 weeks and I now have a gorgeous DD born 12th March.

He's missed out, but as least my baby will never have to witness that side of life at home. A home should be a safe, calm, warm and loving place.

Take care lovey and congratulations on your DD-to-be. Be strong :)

Hugs
Anne-Marie

[♥My Innocent Angel♥]

i agree with the ladies who say email/sms

its not worth putting yourself through misery/stress to try and please him if he cares about his daughter in the long run he will make the effort you dont need to chase after him and make things easy for him (so i have been told) i know that doesnt make it easy cause we so want them to be part of thier child's life but you are allready doing the most important job and that is looking after yourself and your stb DD

take care and hope all goes well

:hugs:

[Addison'sMum]

I sought of know what you are going through, my son conceptions was never planned and his father and my relationship was a very casual one so when i found out i was pregnant had a hard time telling him. His conclusion was abortion however that wasn't an option for me.

He has told me previously that i should keep in contact with him however he will deny to anyone other than myself he is the father and doesn't want a roll in his son's life until and if my son ever wants to know his father.

i have never kept it a secret who his father is and refused to do so. At the end of the day he will always be his father.
When addison was born i sent him a sms to advise of the birth and let him know if he wanted any details to let me know, he never did though i felt i was doing my part in letting him know.

I don't seek any maintenance from him and will never stop him from being a part of his son's life if thats what he chooses one day. I will never speak ill of him in front of my son (even though i do not argee and understand what he is thinking not wanting to be part of his life) it's not fair on my son.

good luck with your situation and i hope you are able to establish a safe relationship with the babies father for their sake and for your comfort.

[LittleBoysRock]

I wouldn't call him at all if I was you, or tell him anything.

She's YOUR daughter if he's not interested. Stuff him.


I tend to agree. If he wants to know his child and be an active part of their life then he would contact you. :o

Dont leave yourself open to hurt, take care of you and your baby. :yes:

[Tulp]

I tend to agree. If he wants to know his child and be an active part of their life then he would contact you. :o

Dont leave yourself open to hurt, take care of you and your baby. :yes:

Agree because if he does not react to your telling him you know how you're gonna feel.

If he's not shown interest in the child till now I don't think knowing the sex of the child is going to make any difference. If he's going to come around he will in his own time.

[razzle]

I wouldn't call him at all if I was you, or tell him anything.

She's YOUR daughter if he's not interested. Stuff him.
I agree too. And why would you want your DD-to-be to know someone who's not going to be around or interested in her?

[princessbubba]

Thanks so much for your replies!!! It has really helped to get your opinions. My instincts are telling me to tell him...although this will only be done through sms. I like his mother so I will probably call her and tell her.

I want my baby to know who her father is...I dont ever want to speak ill of him in front of her. I think it will be important for her to make her own assumptions. However I will not allow him into my life or my home when the baby is born if he keeps this lifestyle his has up. I don't want his habits around my baby. Plus it will only upset me as well.

It's quiet strange how I am now a lot more assertive then I have ever been. Plus a lot more confident. Pregnancy certainly agrees with me.

I agree with a lot of you....if he doesn't want to know or doesn't care it's his loss. I am very glad I have my family and friends to share this with. I don't feel alone at all which is great!!!!

I think I will just sit on this decision for awhile. I am still not sure if just an sms is the right thing to do....but I guess whatever I decide it will be the best decision for me. Thanks again for your help!!! Much appreciated.