Problems with daycare provider - very long whinge ahead

[Kamaikia]

Just have to get this off my chest.
My son (9.5mths) has been going to his daycare center for a few months now and one of his day care mums is giving me the s***s.
She pulled me aside the other day asking for the 10th time how to put my son to sleep. I told her to lay him down and hand him his bottle. She says he won't sleep for more than 15 minutes through the day and that she had to rock him to sleep (spent 20 mins doing it) the other day. She got cranky with me when I said (how dare I) that I don't want him rocked to sleep or patted to sleep. I have never once had problems getting my son to sleep. I found there problem was they were trying to get him to sleep at around 9:30am - my son sleep on average about 13 hours a night and on day care days I wake him at about 7:30 in the morning. I told her he needs more than 2 hours awake before going to sleep - but thats the time a majority of the babies sleep at daycare so they expect him to as well. They also think that he should have 3 or 4 sleeps a day when I have told them that he will either have 2 small (half hour) sleeps or one big (1 hour) sleep a day.
I felt like s*** after she was telling me how hard he is making it for them.
The center has only ever had 3 or 4 babies a day for 2 carers. It has just been taken over so now there are 8 babies every day - and I don't think this 1 carer is taking it well.
I personally think my son is getting excited at daycare - he has never seen so many toys and babies in one room and thats why he doesn't sleep properly.
I feel as though instead letting him be his own person with his own routine she wants him to do what the other babies do - sleep 2 hours at a time- something he has never done.
Is it wrong of me to think that there job is to care for children and that if the kids don't sleep bad luck - just keep going. I don't think they should expect and hour or 2 without any children awake.
Overall they are great carers but I just don't like being questioned and told that my son is disrupting the routine. My thoughts are - at $50 a day - deal with it!!

[Chickadee]

That carer is deluded if she thinks that 8 babies are all going to follow the same "routine", especially if the age ranges from 3 or 4 months to 1 year. Is your son the oldest in the room? Because if not, I would question whether any other child there who's over 7 months is having the same problem. At 9-10 months my dd was also only having 2 naps a day and I'd have been angry if any carer had tried to make her have more.

One of the few questions I asked when looking at centres was "when do you put the babies down for a nap?" And every single one replied, essentially, babies are put down to sleep when they need to. Usually there would be one or two in the sleeping room at any time.

Talk to the other carers and see if there really is a problem with your son going to sleep, or if it's just the routine that they're trying to force on him. But if it continues I'd seriously consider changing centres and finding one that recognises that babies all have different patterns and has enough flexibility (nap times AND meal times) to adapt to your son's needs.

Good luck!

[Kamaikia]

When I first chose that center (not that there was much to choose from) they did just feed and sleep the kids when they wanted to. Now that they are so busy they are changing. My son isn't the oldest, there are two other boys just a little older who are also having the same problems. Its just that one of those mothers says its alright to pat/rock her son to sleep - so they think we should all agree. I have worked hard to get my son into a sleeping routine and no way in hell will I let them break it. This carer is only there for one of his 2 days and there are no other centers around with daycare avaliable. Guess I will just have to try talking to her again and get her to respect my wishes. he is at daycare today so it will be interesting what she says when i pick him up.

[mumof2girls]

I am a childcare worker and all I can say is she is glad she isn't working in my centre as she would have some issues. TELL HER that he is your son and this is how you want things, he sleeps ......, he eats whatever and you don't want him rocked to sleep. Each child is an individual and they have a routine of their own and this is how your son's routine is. If she isn't happy with this then go to the Director and get it sorted, if they aren't much help then tell them that you are going to the licensing board with your complaint. Don't let them dictate what your son should be doing tell them what his routine is and they need to go by what you are doing at home not by what is better for them! :mad: It's centres like this that give childcare a bad name, and working in this profession it is hard enough without other workers making it harder!

Sorry but I get a bit annoyed with people who don't allow children to grow naturally at their pace without slotting them with everyone else!

[nemosmum]

Hi, Im an E.C teacher with eight years experience in the profession and about 2 years of that was working with babies from 3 months to two years. I have to say that the c.care worker doesnt sound very professional and as a mum of a 13 month old (who attends day care two days a week, at the centre I work at) I would not be very happy with the situation!.
However I have to say that professionals like myself who care for other peoples most precious possesions-their child/ren dont get alot of respect for what they do.
I dont agree that just because you pay $50 a day that that gives you the right to say to the carer "DEAL WITH IT" as she is obviously trying to care for your son.....babies often have trouble sleeping at daycare and it can be a major problem, I'm not saying that the carer should go against your wishes (she should follow the childs routine) but if your son doesnt sleep at daycare how do you think he is going to cope??? he'll probably be so over tired when you go to pick him up, you cant expect the carer just to ignore the situation coz then you'lld be complaining that they dont take care of him. I say look on the bright side the carer obviously wants to help your son settle and sleep better at day care so work with her and if possible the team leader in the room and the director. Afterall the relationship you have with the carers are vital in providing the BEST care for your son when your not there.

One last thing, could you cope with looking after 8 babies a day with only one other person for help....think about what its like at home with one demanding baby who needs to be fed, nappy changed, played with etc now times that by 4
ITS NOT EASY BELIEVE ME

sarah

[mumof2girls]

Hi Sarah;

I hear you on some points as I have worked in E.C for the last 10 years with all age groups and you do have some valid points. But 1 thing I don't agree with is yes it is tough to look after 4 babies but if you can't handle it then you shouldn't be in that room, most times all 8 babies aren't crying at the same time and if they are I would be asking why!

kamaikia seemed concerned that they wanted him back in bed at 9.30 after only being up for a couple of hours instead of waiting till lunch when it was closer to his nap time, she felt that her son was disrupting "their" routine, not going by his routine.

[nemosmum]

hi mum of two girls,

I dont understand your comment, because Im honest and and explain its not easy caring for 8 babies you say I cant handle my job like Im not TUFF enough or something? I dont think anyone who works with babies/children would say its a piece of cake and I dont think any parent on this site would argue with that. If you actually read my reply I stated that the teachers should follow her sons routine and not change it to suit theirs, I never said she should put up with that.

Sarah

[mumof2girls]

Hi orlandosmum;


I wasn't having a dig at you personally I was generalising.
I wasn't disputing that is a hard job looking after 8 babies what I was saying that if they are finding it tough to look after the children then maybe they shouldn't be in that room (not you personally just people in general). I did read your reply and I saw it as
"but if your son doesnt sleep at daycare how do you think he is going to cope??? he'll probably be so over tired when you go to pick him up, you cant expect the carer just to ignore the situation coz then you'lld be complaining that they dont take care of him".
and thought that you thought he wasn't sleeping.
I thought she meant that he was sleeping just not at the times they wanted him to! Correct me if I am wrong!

We have 2 staff in our room and 27 (3-5 yr olds) children every day and 1 is a special needs child so I know how hard it is, I wasn't disputing it is hard work I was simply suggesting that if they can't cope they shouldn't be there!

[Kamaikia]

Hi, Im an E.C teacher with eight years experience in the profession and about 2 years of that was working with babies from 3 months to two years. I have to say that the c.care worker doesnt sound very professional and as a mum of a 13 month old (who attends day care two days a week, at the centre I work at) I would not be very happy with the situation!.
However I have to say that professionals like myself who care for other peoples most precious possesions-their child/ren dont get alot of respect for what they do.
I dont agree that just because you pay $50 a day that that gives you the right to say to the carer "DEAL WITH IT" as she is obviously trying to care for your son.....babies often have trouble sleeping at daycare and it can be a major problem, I'm not saying that the carer should go against your wishes (she should follow the childs routine) but if your son doesnt sleep at daycare how do you think he is going to cope??? he'll probably be so over tired when you go to pick him up, you cant expect the carer just to ignore the situation coz then you'lld be complaining that they dont take care of him. I say look on the bright side the carer obviously wants to help your son settle and sleep better at day care so work with her and if possible the team leader in the room and the director. Afterall the relationship you have with the carers are vital in providing the BEST care for your son when your not there.

One last thing, could you cope with looking after 8 babies a day with only one other person for help....think about what its like at home with one demanding baby who needs to be fed, nappy changed, played with etc now times that by 4
ITS NOT EASY BELIEVE ME

sarah

Let me start by saying there is no way in hell I could cope with 8 babies and thats why I don't work in a daycare center :)
After picking my son up the other day I was so angry - I think the problem is that this 1 carer can't handle 8 babies - I mean she doesn't even have kids just a peice of paper that says she knows what to do with them.
I met another mother on the weekend who's son is in the same room and she told me she was having the same problems with the same carer - found her to be very rude.
As for my son - he comes home from daycare very happy -even after no sleep - he never has much sleep daytime. I am happy for him to stay awake i just get the impression they want him to sleep more. How hard is this to understand - I say give my son a bottle at 11am and no earlier (this is sleep time) and he will go to sleep and then they give him the bottle at 9am and wonder why they can't get him to sleep - my son will only go to sleep with his bottle.
I understand they do a hard job but I think they could make it easier for themselves if they listened to parents a bit more.

[Kamaikia]

Sorry forgot to add and just to clarify. My son does sleep at daycare but not enough for them. When he does sleep its a fight to get him down because they are doing it way too early for him and expecting him to sleep 3 -4 times a day.
When I picked him up the other day I was told he was impossible to get to sleep (at 9:45 ?) that it took another carer nearly an hour. She said that from now on he should just cry himself to sleep. No bloody way!! She got offended when I told her she had no right to go against my wishes and not to dare leave him screaming. She said that it is hard with 8 babies - I said that I realise this but she has a job to do and part of it is going against what she thinks and respecting peoples wishes regarding there children. Then the group leader walks in - says my son was fine all day that she spent about 30 minutes in the room with him and another baby putting them both down and my son was out in about 10 minutes. the other carer just walked away - turns out she wasn't there all day - just assuming and making me feel like ****!

[mumof2girls]

Hi kamaikia;

my advice (you don't have to take it) is to go directly to the Director of the centre and speak to them and tell them that you are not happy and tell her of your concerns. It sounds like the staff still aren't listening to you and your wishes. Maybe you could write it down and give them a copy to put up in the room of your son's routine so they all know what you want! :)

[Kamaikia]

that what my mum thinks too. I am going to have a talk with the director and the group leader (she is great) on wednesday. I need to get it sorted out so that I am comfortable leaving him as I have just started a new job and don't want to let my worry affect the job.

[nemosmum]

hi Kamika,

I agree with you kamika the carers need to listen to the parents, its your child after all. I would feel exactly the same as you if they were trying to force my son to sleep when he didnt need it.

Hi mum of two girls,
did I read correctly that you work with 27 children and only two staff??? which state do you work in coz in NSW that is illegal, the ratio is one staff member to ten children aged 3-5 years....you poor thing :( if I was a parent at that centre I would be very upset to hear such news how can the children be provided with the BEST Quality care with only two staff. At my centre we have two e.c teachers, one special needs teacher, one associate diploma and two untrained staff and thats only in the 3-5's room, and we have 27 children a day in that room. I feel for you working so hard to provide the best care for those kids and not having enough resources (teachers).

Sarah

ps Kamikia at my centre in the babies room we have a one to three ratio, we have 15 babies and 5 staff- if its possible I would look around for a centre that had High child to teacher ratios as this helps teachers provide better care and more one to one nurturing for your little bub. :)

[mumof2girls]

Hi orlandosmum;

Yes you read right we have 27 children and 2 staff, we are suppose to have a special needs person in to help in the room but are short staffed so we don't have them very often. In SA they go by how many children are in the centre not in the individual rooms. However it is nice when the other rooms aren't so busy and they can help out :)

We do have pretty good kids and the parents seem pleased with what we do, we are a busy room and we do keep the children busy so that also helps. It is hard but we do manage. We do prefer that more staff are with the younger children as they are more work (feeding, nappies etc) and some of our children will go and help out in the other rooms at times, playing with the younger children etc. So even though it can be hard it works out okay in the end.

[Kamaikia]

ps Kamikia at my centre in the babies room we have a one to three ratio, we have 15 babies and 5 staff- if its possible I would look around for a centre that had High child to teacher ratios as this helps teachers provide better care and more one to one nurturing for your little bub. :)


Sounds good but unfortunatly it seems that this is the common ratio up here. And because all the centers are so full at the moment there isn't much choice - the joys of motherhood hey? :)

[pickles]

my duaghter was the same when she attended daycare at 11 months . she was never a good day sleeper anyway but always slept well at night. The girls used to put her down for her sleep and when she woke after 30 -45 mins they would put her in the toddler room. this way she did not disturb the babies and got to play with the big kids. Now that she is in the toddler room and nmo longer has a day sleep she goes into the kindy room after lunch and plays quiet games with the older kids.

[wayley]

As a qualified child care professional I am very disappointed to hear that your child's individual need's aren't being met. :mad:
s the team leader in a babies room I know that staff must and
I mean must accomidate to each child's individual needs.

I personally would talk to the team leader of the room and advise them of your child's routine write it down for them. If they are not willing to follow your wishes when it comes to your child the next step is to go directly to the Director of the centre and speak to them and tell them that you are not happy and tell her of your concerns. :ecomcity:
If staff still aren't listening to you and your wishes. Then I would take it to the NCAC (National Childcare and Accreditation Council) or the Department of Community Services for your state.
:confused: Just a quick question have you written a copy to put up in the room of your son's routine so they all know your requests for your child? Upon entry into the room you should have been given a child profile to fill out and the staff should periodically check this with you.

If staff find that your child's routine is begining to change (maybe moving from two to one sleep or from one to no sleep) staff should advise you of the best thing developmentally for your child. In the end it still remains your decision to choose the routine which best fits your child and staff need to realise this. As the team leader and assistant director I would be reminding staff in the room of this.

Hope this helps you.:idea:
wayley

[wayley]

How many over 2s do you have to staff? In my centre we can have 37 between the 2 over 2's rooms which means we have 4 staff but than can be divided any way in the over 2's area. (1 outside 1 in toddlers 2 in Kindy). You need to have 3 staff not including SNSS in the room or in the centre for 27 children. According to the SA regulations.

[Peaceangels]

Um, excuse me Wayley, but did you realise that this thread is almost a year old? (post before yours is dated Aug 2005), so I don't imagine you will get many replies on what is happening with this particular situation......................

[greentreefrogs]

i think you should take it further . Go to the director of the center. That is not acceptable behaviour:mad: At the center i work at when you enroll you have to fill out a babies routine so that the staff know what to follow .And they follow these strictly. It asks all sorts of questions about your child so that the staff can get a feel or what is needed. Having 8 babies is not hard when you know the routines of them all and you get into a rythm. I admit there are days that are hard but routine helps out ALOT!!! i would say a babies room is the hardest room out of a whole center as there isnt a time where all your children are asleep at the same time( Mostly occasionally it happens but very rare) so i take my hat off to those staff who work in the babies rooms of centers:smiliedance:

[lovingmotheract]

guys this was posted in 2005 :laughing:

[Chickadee]

I'll close this now. Thanks to everyone for contributing.